Jiang Zhonglin had imagined this many times. Every time he was with Yu Yao, he would like to hold her and touch her belly. Although Yu Yao was ticklish and didn’t like him touching her belly, often swatting his hand away, he still couldn’t help himself.

“Do you prefer a boy or a girl?” he would ask her, filled with eager curiosity. Yu Yao would always respond casually, “Forget about it, I don’t want a baby. Having a child is too troublesome.”

She would sit up and admonish him, “Do you know how hard it is to be pregnant, Xiao Jiang? Do you know how painful childbirth is? Did you see that news recently about a pregnant woman who jumped off a building because her husband wouldn’t sign the consent for surgery? And that mother-in-law who insisted on a second child and bled to death?”

He would quickly assure her, “I’ll definitely sign immediately. You’re the most important. Besides, my parents like you more than they like me, and they wouldn’t make you have a second child. If not… should we just have one?”

Yu Yao would kick him away, “No, no more. Don’t try to be cute. I’m warning you, stop trying or I’ll make you suffer.”

He would look a bit aggrieved and glance at her sneakily, “But I really want a daughter.”

Yu Yao would have more to say, “I’m afraid of having a daughter. Look at the news—those who were stabbed twelve times by their ex-boyfriends, or those whose bodies were cut into pieces and hidden at home for months, or the ones who were raped and killed by taxi drivers. Aren’t you afraid that our daughter might encounter such things?”

Jiang Zhonglin would then become fearful, even though his daughter was still just a possibility. He couldn’t help but imagine his adorable daughter suffering various terrible fates, which terrified him deeply. He even thought that if they did have a daughter, she might need to be trained to defend herself, maybe even be able to defeat three strong men before he could feel somewhat reassured.

After several days of such thoughts, he ultimately decided it was still too risky. After finishing their activities, he would hold Yu Yao and discuss, “Maybe we should have a son instead. We can teach him well, make him respect women. If there’s one less bad person in the world, it means more safety for other people’s daughters. Maybe then we could be more confident about having a daughter in the future.”

Yu Yao laughed at his words but still firmly swatted his hand away, saying resolutely, “No, we’re not having one.”

Jiang Zhonglin had no choice; since the child was growing in Yu Yao’s womb, if she said no, then it was a definite no. He could only reluctantly agree, “Okay, then we won’t have one.” In truth, he felt disappointed. Deep down, he still hoped for a little daughter—one who could be with him and Yu Yao, call them Mom and Dad, and bring them closer together.

After Yu Yao went missing, he thought this wish would never come true.

When he learned that Yu Yao was pregnant, for a moment, Jiang Zhonglin was very happy. He imagined a child who looked much like Yu Yao, probably how she looked as a child. But almost immediately, he crushed this fantasy in his heart.

He told himself and Yu Yao, “Maybe it’s better not to have it.”

“I want him!” Yu Yao said firmly, holding his hand.

“I want to give birth to him. Did you hear me?”

Yu Yao squeezed Jiang Zhonglin’s hand tightly, her expression fierce, “He’s a miracle who traveled through forty years with me. I will have him. You need to see him born, see him go to school. You must live a bit longer.”

“I want you to stay with us longer… we’ve only been together for two years, married for just one. It’s really too short…”

Hot tears fell onto Jiang Zhonglin’s hand. Yu Yao sat on the floor, using his hand to cover her face.

Jiang Zhonglin felt the moisture in his palm, tears spilling through his fingers. He saw the ultrasound photo on the table—a small shadow in the center, their still-forming child, the one who came after so long.

He felt a deep sadness, but Yu Yao seemed even more distressed.

“Stay with us longer, until he grows up and remembers you. Only then can you leave us, understand?”

“Do you hear me?”

Yu Yao’s voice was choked with emotion.

Jiang Zhonglin finally reached out and embraced her, resting his forehead on her shoulder. He couldn’t find the words to say “yes” or “no.”

But Yu Yao was insistent, not hearing his response, she kept asking, “Will you agree?”

“Jiang Zhonglin, will you agree?”

“Will you agree?” Her voice was now urgent, tinged with anger and a bit… of fear.

Jiang Zhonglin felt a pang of bitterness. He turned his head, took a deep breath, and finally, touching Yu Yao’s hair, said with a trembling voice, “I’m sorry.”

“We’ll keep him. We’ll keep him.”

Yu Yao’s strength drained away. She pushed him away, looking into his eyes, crying and scolding him, “You jerk, you’re just taking advantage of your age, thinking I won’t hit you.”

But—Jiang Zhonglin thought, even if you don’t hit me, I still have to compromise with you.

“I remember you didn’t like to cry before,” Jiang Zhonglin said, wiping her tears.

I rarely cry for myself, but these times, I’m crying for you, Yu Yao thought. She grabbed the old man’s hand and bit it hard.