Nanfeng sneered, “Your general is indeed ungrateful. What’s there to say?”

“Uh…” Xie Lian was about to interject, when Fuyun said with a “haha,” “Your general is just fifty paces from a hundred. What right does he have to criticize?”

“…” Hearing them use him as a club to bash each other’s superiors, Xie Lian finally couldn’t take it anymore. “Wait, wait. Stop, stop.”

Naturally, no one paid him any attention. They even started fighting. It was unclear who started it, but the altar split in two, and the fruit scattered on the ground. Seeing that he couldn’t stop them, Xie Lian sat in the corner, sighing, “What a mess,” picked up a small bun that had rolled to his feet, wiped it, peeled it, and prepared to eat it. Nanfeng caught sight of it and immediately slapped it away: “Don’t eat that!”

Fuyun also stopped, shocked and disgusted. “It’s covered in dust, and you still want to eat it?”

Xie Lian seized the opportunity and gestured, “Stop, stop, stop. I have something to say.”

He separated the two, and said amiably, “First, the Crown Prince you’re talking about is me. I haven’t said anything yet, so don’t use me as a weapon to attack each other.” He paused, then added, “I believe your two generals would absolutely not do this. Your behavior is unbecoming; how can they save face?”

At this, the two’s expressions changed. Xie Lian continued, “Second, you’re here to assist me, right? So, do you listen to me, or do I listen to you?”

After a long silence, the two said, “We listen to you.”

Although their faces seemed to say, “You wish,” Xie Lian was satisfied. He clapped his hands together, “Good. Finally, third, and most importantly—if you absolutely must throw something, please throw me, not the food.”

Nanfeng finally retrieved the bun Xie Lian had been picking at, unable to bear it any longer. “Don’t eat something that’s fallen on the ground!”

The next day, they met at the tea shop again.

The tea master was stretching his legs by the door, recovering from an injury. From afar, he saw the three approaching. A Taoist priest, dressed simply in white, with a straw hat on his back, walked in front, followed by two tall young men in black.

The Taoist priest approached calmly and said, “Shopkeeper, three cups of tea, please.”

The tea master smiled, “You’re here!”

He thought to himself, “These three silly young masters are back. It’s a pity, they’re all so handsome, but their brains are all messed up. Gods, immortals, ghosts, heavens…these people are crazy; what’s the use of being handsome?”

Xie Lian again chose a seat by the window. After they sat down, Nanfeng said, “Why are we talking here? Are you sure no one will overhear us?”

Xie Lian said softly, “It’s fine. Even if they hear us, they won’t care. They’ll just think we’re crazy.”

“…”

Xie Lian said, “To avoid us three just sitting here wasting time, let’s get straight to the point. After a night of calm reflection, have you thought of any solutions?”

Fuyun’s eyes lit up, and he said coldly, “Kill!”

Nanfeng said, “Duh!”

Xie Lian said, “Nanfeng, don’t be so fierce. Fuyun isn’t wrong; the fundamental solution is to kill. The problem is where, who, and how. I suggest…”

At that moment, the sound of gongs and drums came from the street. The three looked out the window.

It was that same gloomy wedding procession. They were making a lot of noise, as if afraid no one would hear them. Nanfeng frowned, “Didn’t they say that even local people near Junshan Mountain don’t dare to have a big wedding?”

The procession consisted of strong, muscular men, their expressions and muscles tense, sweating profusely, as if they were carrying not a joyous palanquin, but a death-dealing guillotine. What kind of person was inside?

After pondering for a moment, Xie Lian was about to go out and take a look when a gust of wind blew, lifting the curtain of the palanquin.

The person inside was in a strange position. Her head was tilted, and a bright red mouth was visible under the veil, with an exaggerated smile. The palanquin swayed, the veil slipped, revealing a pair of wide-open eyes staring at them.

It looked like a woman with a broken neck, silently laughing at them.

Perhaps the bearers were shaking too much, the palanquin was unsteady, and the woman’s head bobbed. With a “thump,” a head rolled onto the street.

The headless body in the palanquin also fell forward—”bang”—the whole person tumbled out of the palanquin.

Author’s Note: I’m disappointed it’s not a big, chattering girl.

A warning: In the following chapter, the author wants to write a very clichéd plot, hoping for everyone’s tolerance of the author’s bad taste. Thanks in advance.

A bearer accidentally stepped on an arm and screamed. The wedding procession immediately erupted. A bunch of people pulled out gleaming white blades, shouting, “What’s wrong?! Are they here?!” It was unclear where they had hidden them. The street was in an uproar. Xie Lian looked again, and the separated head and body were not a living person, but a wooden doll.

Fuyun said, “So ugly!”

Just as the tea master came with a copper kettle, Xie Lian remembered his demeanor yesterday and said, “Shopkeeper, I saw this group of people making a commotion on the street yesterday, and again today. What are they doing?”

The tea master said, “Making a fool of themselves.”

“Hahaha…”

Xie Lian wasn’t surprised, “Are they trying to lure out the ghost groom?”

The tea master said, “What else could they be doing? The bride’s father offered a large reward to find his daughter and catch the ghost groom, so these people make a racket all day long.”

That father must be the official. Xie Lian glanced at the crudely made woman’s head on the ground, knowing they were trying to use the fake to lure the ghost groom.

Fuyun disgustedly said, “If I were the ghost groom, if someone sent me such an ugly thing, I’d destroy this town.”

Xie Lian said, “Fuyun, that’s not something an immortal should say. Also, can you stop rolling your eyes? Set a small goal for yourself, like only rolling your eyes five times a day.”

Nanfeng said, “He wouldn’t be able to manage fifty times a day!”

At this moment, a young man, looking like the leader, emerged from the procession, energetic and shouting, “Listen up! This isn’t working! How many times have we run around these past few days? Have we lured out the ghost groom?”

The men echoed his complaints. The young man said, “I say, let’s just go all in! Let’s charge into Junshan Mountain and search the mountain! I’ll lead the way, any brave men come with me! Let’s kill the ugly monster and split the reward!”

The men murmured, then their voices grew louder until everyone responded, sounding quite imposing. Xie Lian asked, “Ugly monster? Shopkeeper, what’s this ugly monster about?”

The tea master said, “They say the ghost groom is an ugly monster living in Junshan Mountain. Because he’s so ugly, no woman likes him, so he’s resentful and steals other people’s brides, preventing people from getting married.”

This wasn’t recorded in the Lingwen Temple scrolls. Xie Lian said, “Is there such a thing? Isn’t it just speculation?”