Chapter 33

Of the three traps Dr. Zhao set for her, apart from the first one which was simply because she wanted to feel needed, the other two were because she believed in Qi Cheng.

Although everything they said about Qi Cheng’s condition was objectively true, she just couldn’t believe that someone like him would ever make her sad.

This belief had no scientific basis, but whenever Dr. Zhao or the Qi family told her that Qi Cheng might affect her mental health or that he might want to keep her trapped in the villa forever, she never took it seriously.

A man who could still notice her emotions even in the depths of his illness, she felt, couldn’t be that dark inside.

So even though she knew it was a trap set by Dr. Zhao, she still, unsurprisingly, agreed.

The way Dr. Zhao convinced Qi Ning and Qi Peng was even more straightforward. Since neither the attending doctor nor the patient himself would agree to sign, the transfer was off the table. Unless Qi Cheng completely lost the will to live and showed symptoms like refusing to eat, the family had no right to transfer him.

At this point, Chi Zhihan understood the meaning of this three-way inquisition. Dr. Zhao had once again successfully dug a hole and buried her in it…

Before leaving, Dr. Zhao, unusually, gave Chi Zhihan a lot of advice. For example, she needed to maintain a normal life and social interactions, not stay cooped up in the villa like Qi Cheng. She didn’t need to always stay positive; the incident of watching a movie and Qi Cheng getting angry showed that she could express more genuine emotions in front of him, but she had to be careful not to be too extreme. Most importantly, he hoped she wouldn’t bring up confession or romance for now. Stability and safety were what Qi Cheng needed most. Give him something to care about, make him feel stable, and then gradually give him hope.

He also had Qi Peng and Qi Ning fax over authorized copies of Qi Cheng’s past medical records.

At this point, Chi Zhihan had the absurd feeling of being entrusted with someone’s care, even though Qi Peng and Qi Ning were clearly reluctant…

“This is different from a romantic relationship,” Dr. Zhao, having achieved his goal, returned to his normal demeanor. “He’s not suitable for emotions that fluctuate too much right now. We need to take it step by step.”

Similarly, Qi Ning also told her this was different from romance during a phone call on the way back to the villa.

Her attitude remained calm, seemingly emotionless, completely different from when she had pleaded with Qi Cheng on the phone not to reveal his pen name “Cheng Yi.”

But this time, Chi Zhihan felt a bit of sincerity.

“Dr. Zhao is a doctor through and through. He doesn’t understand emotional matters. In his mind, there are only patients and recovery. So he might come up with treatment plans that completely disregard others’ feelings, and he wouldn’t see any problem with the emotional harm caused. In his view, saving a life is far more important than these romantic notions.”

“So only I can remind you of these things. Qi Cheng is a patient. His dependence on you is first and foremost a pathological possessiveness. Having been out of society for so many years, he might not understand what adult love is.”

“If you have time, you should read all his comics. Many critics have described Cheng Yi as having a childlike heart. Do you understand? Many of his traits have been frozen since he was nineteen.”

“This path will be exhausting. You can back out anytime, and the Qi family won’t blame you.” These were her final words before hanging up without waiting for Chi Zhihan to respond.

Qi Ning still didn’t like her much, just as she didn’t particularly like Qi Ning, so apart from repeatedly telling her that the Qi family wouldn’t make things difficult for her, there wasn’t much else to discuss.

Honestly, Chi Zhihan thought with a pout, if the Qi family had started clinging to her legs, crying and begging her to save Qi Cheng, she would have felt too much pressure. But now, having chosen this seemingly difficult path because of her feelings, with the Qi family’s support being simply letting her do what she needed to do, she actually felt… comfortable.

She might really be sick…

Covering her face with a groan, she had made such an inhuman decision, yet didn’t feel the slightest bit of unease…

…

Then reality soon slapped her in the face.

The truth was… it really was… very inappropriate.

As Qi Cheng’s acute pancreatitis entered its final recovery stage, his range of activity gradually expanded from just the bed, and his presence became increasingly impossible to ignore. Then Chi Zhihan finally, belatedly, realized that she seemed to be… living together with the man she liked.

This was a very bizarre situation.

Because she had already told both his family and his attending physician about her feelings for Qi Cheng, subconsciously, she felt this counted as having met the parents—though the form was quite different from normal.

So, regarding this established fact, she had less guilt and sense of secrecy, often catching herself unconsciously treating him like a boyfriend.

And having a boyfriend who looked like this, occasionally showed yandere tendencies, was thirty years old but still retained a youthful sense – one she couldn’t touch, and had to hide her own wild nature from such a sensitive man – was truly torturous.

The most unbearable part was during the dead of night…

To calm her mind, she even took out Qi Cheng’s years of medical records and started taking notes seriously.

But after really getting into them, her brows furrowed deeper and deeper.

Qi Cheng had truly been through a lot – drug allergies at various stages, recurring illness, and a barrage of severe diseases after his immunity dropped. He had persevered for ten years, and then just when various indicators were trending toward stability, he suddenly lost his will to live.

Dr. Zhao’s treatment notes matched his personality, jumping from point to point, only recording key information.

So in the section about why he suddenly lost his will to live, she only saw several question marks: family reasons, work reasons, or worsening social anxiety – nothing of real reference value.

Qi Cheng had been watching her for a while, initially thinking she was reading those books with strange names again, but then noticed she had taken out a notebook and her expression was growing increasingly serious.

The way those materials were bound looked extremely familiar. He walked over under the pretense of getting water, glanced at them, and his expression changed. “You’re reading my medical records?”

The person who should have felt guilty looked up with reddened eyes and nodded.

…

Qi Cheng pressed his lips together, standing there holding the water glass.

“Why did Dr. Zhao give these to you?” His expression was still poor, his tone somewhat harsh. As he spoke, he gripped the water glass with some force, then set it down on the nearby desk.

He didn’t want her to see these things. All these records of his struggles in the quagmire – if he had won, perhaps they could be called medals, but he had lost. In ten years of battle, he had been utterly defeated.

So looking at these things was truly meaningless.

Somewhat irritated, he wanted to reach out and take these materials away, but her expression made him hesitate, leaving him standing there frowning and pressing his lips together.

The woman before him completely ignored his low mood and seemed in no state to answer his question. She lowered her head to turn a page, probably seeing more of his trauma triggers, and added another dense line of notes to her notebook.

“Stop reading!” Finally unable to bear it, he stepped closer and futilely covered the text on the medical records with his hand. The strings of red text and organ diagrams made his temples throb, and his head started to ache again.

But Chi Zhihan quickly grabbed his right hand, pushed up his sleeve, and precisely found the scar on his joint.

It was a scar from one of his suicide attempts. The wrist was too obvious, so he had cut the artery at his elbow instead, and had taken aspirin to prevent blood clotting. That had been one of his more successful suicide attempts, so it was recorded in detail, including the treatment method, wound healing, and so on.

The wound was uneven – his resistance was already low, and with poor blood clotting, the wound had repeatedly become infected and taken a long time to heal.

But none of that was the point now. The point was Chi Zhihan’s actions – she touched it twice, probably lacking the courage to look, or suddenly remembering he couldn’t be touched, so she quickly pulled his sleeve back down and let go.

Why did she always let go so quickly after taking his hand?

Qi Cheng hadn’t noticed that his earlier headache had disappeared; his attention was now entirely on Chi Zhihan’s expression.

“What… are you doing?” Even though she was the one who had initiated contact, she now looked like she was about to cry.

Completely playing the victim when she was the aggressor.

“Just…” Chi Zhihan felt completely overwhelmed inside, and spoke without thinking, “Just feel so heartbroken for you.”

…

Chi Zhihan sniffled.

Qi Cheng maintained his standing position without moving, expressionless.

“What I mean is…” Chi Zhihan swallowed a torrent of self-deprecating curses, sweating as she tried to salvage the situation, “Just seeing this makes me feel that depression patients are pitiful…”

“No… I don’t mean you’re pitiful!” Chi Zhihan shook her head vigorously.

“…Also not… just, just feeling that you experiencing all this alone in the past was very… worthy of sympathy…” Her voice finally became almost inaudible as she blushed furiously and started shaking her head again.

“Just humanitarian sympathy!” She finally closed her eyes and started talking nonsense.

So when would she ever fix this habit of speaking without thinking…

…

Qi Cheng was quiet for a moment.

He made an “oh” sound, very calmly walked away.

As he walked away, he reminded her once more: “Don’t read anymore.”

…Such calmness made her earlier panic seem very strange…

“…Didn’t you misunderstand?” Chi Zhihan suddenly felt dissatisfied.

…Qi Cheng paused in his preparations to get into bed, turned back, somewhat confused: “Misunderstand what?”

“…Nothing.” Chi Zhihan muttered.

She had said “heartbreak,” and he hadn’t misunderstood at all…

She had recently read some books about depression, which said that patients lack security and are pessimistic, so they tend to think about things very negatively.

Was he being so negative that he assumed she wouldn’t feel heartbroken for him, so he simply didn’t think too much about it?

“Qi Cheng, I really do feel heartbroken for you.” The unresigned Chi Zhihan announced once more, shamelessly, not wanting him to be so negative.

Qi Cheng, sitting on the bed, made a sound of acknowledgment and calmly covered himself with the blanket and lay flat.

…

Chi Zhihan pouted, telling herself the road was still long, but as long as the direction was right, they would eventually get there.

And Qi Cheng, under the covers, was blushing to the point of almost exploding.

His hand didn’t hurt, his head didn’t hurt, but his blood pressure was a bit high.

Supporting himself to lie down in bed had already taken all his strength; all he could do now was cover his face, lift the corners of his mouth, and squint his eyes.

Chi Zhihan’s earlier blushing, flustered appearance made him want to reach out and pat her head.

“You do know what feeling heartbroken means, right?” Chi Zhihan still seemed unsatisfied, muttering after getting into bed, as the sofa rustled with her movements.

…

Qi Cheng turned over, made an “mm” sound, then after a moment of silence, worried that Chi Zhihan would ask again, added, “I know.”

…

Chi Zhihan cupped her face and silently kicked her feet in the air a couple of times, then belatedly started to regret…

A stable relationship… had she just been a bit too… intense…