The chief imperial physician wiped a cold sweat as he retreated, finally having survived. He hoped the Noble Consort would say a few more good words to the Emperor; otherwise, after the Noble Consort’s passing, he didn’t know how the Emperor would go mad again. 

Finally, everyone had left, and only the Emperor and Empress remained in the room. 

Chen Dingyao held her hand to his ear. Her hand was already very cold. He pressed it tightly against his own, trying to transfer his body heat. 

Chan Zhen looked at him calmly, vaguely realizing that she hadn’t really looked at him closely for a long time. She hadn’t noticed that several strands of white hair had appeared in his hair at some point. She remembered that initially, she had greatly respected him.

After all, at that time, in her heart, he was still the wise and valiant Emperor. If he hadn’t forced himself upon her later, she would probably still respect him to this day. 

“Your Majesty, I’m leaving,” she said calmly. 

An inexplicable coldness quickly permeated his entire body. His heart felt as if a large hole had been punched through it, causing him to feel a sharp pain and his vision to darken.

Then, instinctively, he tightened his grip on her hand and replied without thinking, “I won’t let you go.” 

Chan Zhen smiled, the first time she had smiled at him so softly. 

“Your Majesty, this time you can’t stop me.” She looked up at the ceiling, her eyes full of joy, “I’m going to find Zhao’er. I dreamed of him just now, and he said he missed me very much.” 

Hearing the word “Zhao’er,” his heart suffered another blow. 

Yuan Zhao. This was the name he had chosen for their child after extensive reading. He had eagerly awaited his birth, teaching him to read and write, even planning to pass the throne to Yuan Zhao when he turned eighteen, while he would travel with Chan Zhen to famous mountains and rivers, watching the prosperous land under their child’s rule together. 

But he hadn’t lived to see Yuan Zhao grow up. The moment Yuan Zhao passed away, he was heartbroken. Then Chan Zhen fell ill in her grief. He didn’t have the energy to grieve for their child, only focusing on Chan Zhen’s survival. Now, hearing their child’s name from Chan Zhen’s mouth, that immense grief overwhelmed him again. 

“You’re going to find Zhao’er, but what about me?” His voice choked, his gaze filled with both love and hate, “You still hate me, you want to get rid of me.” 

Chan Zhen showed no emotion, saying indifferently, “Your Majesty, we shouldn’t have had this ill-fated relationship.” 

Chen Dingyao was furious but didn’t dare to lose his temper with her. His dark eyes fixed on her, “Chan Zhen, do you still think our relationship was ill-fated?” 

Chan Zhen, who had always been afraid of him, now that she was about to leave, found herself bolder. Many things she hadn’t dared to say before poured out. 

“Wasn’t it? I was originally Prince Jin’s person, and you are Prince Jin’s father. You can silence the world, but I know the truth. For all these years, I’ve been sleepless and restless. I even think that Zhao’er’s death was heaven’s retribution for me.” 

“Enough, Chan Zhen!” Chen Dingyao didn’t want her to continue, “I am the Emperor. Even heaven cannot bring retribution upon my son. It is I who wronged Yun Yi. I know my wrong, but I will never regret it.” 

“But I regret it,” Chan Zhen looked at him coldly, “I shouldn’t have met Prince Jin, and I shouldn’t have met you.” 

Chen Dingyao was shocked, instantly speechless. 

Chan Zhen felt exhausted. In her life, from being a concubine’s child raised in an alley, to being a confined Miss Song, from a favored concubine in Prince Jin’s mansion, to the Noble Consort who topped the imperial harem, she had always been abandoned and forced. Not a single step was one she had chosen herself. 

Only Zhao’er was someone she had actively chosen to bring into the world, but even Zhao’er had ultimately abandoned her. 

“I’m tired,” Chan Zhen slowly closed her eyes, her voice barely a whisper, “Your Majesty, please let me go…” 

The gradually cooling hand finally fell from his palm. After a long silence, a tear fell onto the bed. 

“Chan Zhen.” Chen Dingyao lowered his head, approaching her face. The distance between them was close, yet he could only feel his own breath; the breath that had once captivated him was gone. He suddenly burst into laughter, tears in his eyes, seemingly crazed. 

“I won’t let you go, never!” 

In the spring of the nineteenth year of Zhaohua, the Emperor made a southern inspection tour. 

After several days of continuous spring rain, the sky finally cleared. The spring breeze carried a fragrant scent of flowers, intoxicatingly sweet. 

Chan Zhen sat by the window, holding a book. Suddenly, she heard a silvery laughter from outside, cheerful and lively. She lost interest in reading. She put down her book, leaning against the window to look out, but she only saw a cluster of lush orchids. 

“I just came back from outside. I saw Miss Xu pulling the other girls to enjoy the flowers in the courtyard,” Qiu Yue brought her a cup of tea, then tidied up the book she had put down, asking, “Are they disturbing you, Miss? Should I report it to the magistrate?” 

Although the treatment of these girls was ostensibly the same, the magistrate had privately instructed that Miss Song should be given special care, and everything should be done according to her wishes. 

Chan Zhen shook her head, “They’re having a good time. I don’t want to spoil their fun. Don’t tell the magistrate either.” 

Qiu Yue smiled. This Miss Song, although quiet and not talkative, had a gentle personality. When she first heard the magistrate’s instructions, she thought she would be difficult to serve. 

“Miss has been cooped up in the room for a long time. Why not go out for a walk? The flowers in the courtyard are all in bloom. It’s a beautiful sight.” 

Chan Zhen was a little tempted. In the past, she had been confined to her home and had always wanted to go out and see different colors and scenery. But thinking of the other girls’ rejection of her, every time she appeared, the lively atmosphere would immediately cool down, making her feel both embarrassed and sad. 

She hesitated, “I think I’ll just stay here. I don’t want to spoil their fun.” 

She had never been a popular person since childhood. Even her sisters at home didn’t like to associate with her. She touched her face, a hint of confusion in her eyes. 

Sometimes she didn’t know whether having such a face was good or bad. If her father hadn’t valued her looks, he wouldn’t have taken her home. Perhaps she would have frozen to death with her mother in that dilapidated courtyard. But because of this face, she was confined to the house by her father and not allowed to go out. Even now, she doesn’t have a single close friend.