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Chapter 15 – Pei Shang
“Sometimes I really wish you were a man…”

Pei Shang clenched the hairpin tightly in his palm, his nails digging deep into his flesh, nearly breaking the skin.

He seemed numb to the pain, staring blankly into the study room at the two people inside, necks entwined like a pair of mandarin ducks.

His closest friend—who had always kept away from women and was known for being cold and indifferent—had never shown interest in anyone before. In fact, when Pei had casually mentioned Yu Mingyao in the past, this man had only replied, “No matter who it is, I have no interest.”

And now this?

Pei Shang found it utterly absurd.

Xie Zhuoguang knew full well of his feelings for Yu Mingyao. He had confided in him many times, trusting him as someone upright and aloof, like the moon in the sky.

He had placed all his trust in him, shared all his secrets.

And what came of it?

Pei Shang desperately wished the scene before him was a hallucination.

Just moments ago, after parting ways with Yu Mingyao at the alley’s entrance, he had gone to retrieve the hairpin from Li Qing. Not wanting to give it to her in front of others and risk ruining her reputation, he had decided to return quietly.

Back then, Xie Zhuoguang had looked completely normal—just like he was heading home as usual.

Pei Shang had been nervous and excited, clutching the gift box like a thief, even getting teased by Li Qing for being such a love-struck fool.

He couldn’t put into words how much he’d hoped as he peeked through the window, just to see if she was there.

But instead, he saw… this.

Xie, my friend—how can you still call yourself a gentleman?

Pei Shang’s palm, slick with sweat where it touched the golden hairpin, trembled slightly. He gave one last cold glance at the two entwined figures a few feet away, then tucked the dampened pin into his sleeve.

The hairpin might be beautiful, but what use was it if it had already been stolen?

Outside the window, his shadow vanished like a pebble dropping into a still lake—without a single ripple.

---

Yu Mingyao felt strands of cool hair brush against her cheek. Having kissed the cool lips enough, her hand instinctively slid down to his Adam’s apple, then moved toward the clasp at his collar.

Suddenly, a pair of cold hands, like chilled jade, restrained her.

Yu Mingyao opened her eyes and fell into the depths of his pitch-black gaze.

“Miss Yu, have some self-respect.”

His voice was cool and calm.

He said nothing more—just that one line.

But those few words were enough to send Yu Mingyao’s remaining hopes crumbling.

Self-respect?

He had already kissed her, and now he tells her to have self-respect?

It was just a kiss. If that was enough for him to think her indecent, then what about their past life?

Back then, when she had lost her mind and approached him, had he truly—just as she had once feared—thought her shameless? Thought she had ruined his chance to marry some noble lady of equal standing?

Yu Mingyao couldn’t bear to think any further.

If she did, all the dignity she had left would be stripped away in broad daylight, under this vast, righteous sky.

She couldn’t continue existing in this world so nakedly exposed.

“Forgive me… for the offense.”

She lowered her eyes and forced the words through gritted teeth. She didn’t care what he thought anymore. After today, they’d never see each other again.

So what if she lost face? So what if she lost a woman’s pride and dignity?

She brushed past him, leaving behind only a breeze.

[I must be mad. Absolutely mad!]

Yu Mingyao felt like her soul had left her body. Otherwise, why would she have felt happy one moment and then suddenly, for no reason, felt compelled to say goodbye to him?

Even if she had to say goodbye, it shouldn’t have been to this Xie Zhuoguang—still in his youth—but rather to the one from her previous life, the Sixth Young Master Xie, whom no one else would ever know.

How could they possibly be the same person?

Tears welled in her eyes as she clutched her handkerchief and walked deeper into the alley.

Forget the Pei family. Forget the capital. She wanted no part of it anymore.

She just wanted to leave.

Someone—please, take her away.

And perhaps heaven heard her plea. Just as she was hesitating at a crossroads, confused and lost, an unexpected figure appeared.

Pei Shang stepped into view.

“The top scholar of the academy, sneaking around here and crying like a baby? Now that I have seen it, don’t think I’ll let you off easy.”

“By tomorrow, the entire school will know about Little Miss Yu’s embarrassing moment~”

He deliberately acted like a scoundrel, mimicking a clown to tease her.

But the moment she had emerged from the study, he had already known everything. Just moments before, he had still been sulking at the doorway, pacing back and forth, unwilling to return to the Pei estate with Li Qing.

Li Qing had grown up with him and could read his every move. Just one look at Pei Shang’s face, and he would have known what had happened.

Pei Shang had always known he couldn’t compare to Xie Zhuoguang—they were like fireflies and the moon, one in the sky, one on the ground.

He had accepted losing in many things.

But when it came to the girl he’d fallen for, he couldn’t just give up.

He had still been hesitating when Yu Mingyao ran out, face flushed, steps erratic and frantic.

Just one glance, and he noticed the redness at the corners of her eyes, the shimmer of tears.

That one moment replayed in his mind, and a hidden joy bloomed in his chest like wild grass after rain, sprouting through the boulder that had weighed on his heart.

He had almost wanted to roar into the sky.

Opportunity knocked for someone—and he blew it!

Pei Shang eagerly approached her.

“Where does little Mingyao want to go? When it comes to food, fun, and pleasure, I’m the undisputed champion of the capital!”

Once he opened his mouth, he wouldn’t stop rambling.

Yu Mingyao looked at his radiant face, full of energy and charm, and felt a flood of emotions well up.

She knew Pei Shang was deliberately acting silly to make her laugh.

But why?

Was it just because she looked good? Or was there something more?

In both lifetimes, this man had always shown her sincere affection—his clever, crystal heart poured out solely for her.

Yu Mingyao lowered her gaze, no longer in the mood to joke or smile.

She thought Pei Shang might be angry, or at least embarrassed, and just storm off.

But to her surprise, the proud peacock-like Pei Shang showed no sign of irritation. Instead, his smile only widened.

“Mingyao, Mingyao—talk to me. I’m your cousin, you know. Show some respect for your elders.”

That did it—Yu Mingyao burst out laughing.

“I have a brother, thank you very much. Don’t try that ‘big brother, little sister’ nonsense with me. Who’s your Mingyao?”

“Whoever responds is my Mingyao! And I’ll keep calling you—Mingyao, Mingyao, Mingyao…”

Exasperated, she turned her face away and swatted her handkerchief at him, not even leaving him a glance.

But her shy, angry expression made Pei Shang breathe a sigh of relief.

Just moments earlier, she had been dressed in mourning white, eyes red like a withered apricot blossom—so delicate, so heartbreakingly fragile.

God knew how much it hurt to see her like that.

As long as she wasn’t crying anymore, it was enough.

Pei Shang silently pumped himself up.

“There’s a place outside the city—secluded and perfect for riding. Don’t you want to go, Mingyao? Your riding skills are great.”

When she still didn’t respond, he added, “I swear on my title as the capital’s number one fun-seeker—you’ll love it. If not, I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” she asked, amused.

The moment he made it a matter of reputation, Yu Mingyao’s interest vanished. This guy had never had a good reputation in either lifetime.

“Agh!” Pei Shang stomped his foot in frustration.

What had started as a distraction for her had now turned into a matter of pride—he had to take her to his secret hideout!

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After some back-and-forth, Yu Mingyao found herself wearing a tattered straw hat and riding a sluggish old horse, trailing behind Pei Shang as they headed toward the city outskirts.

The horse stopped every ten steps to rest. Yu Mingyao didn’t dare use the whip, afraid it would keel over if she hit too hard.

“You’re laughing?!”

She fumed.

Pei Shang, galloping on his fine steed ahead, kept turning back to laugh at her slow, ridiculous pace.

This was the same guy who just told her, even dressed in rags, she was as beautiful as a fairy—and that riding an old horse wouldn’t dim her shine.

Hmph. Men.

They passed quiet fields, chickens clucking in the distance. Occasionally, old farmers with straw hats and cloaks herded buffalo past them.

Pei Shang seemed to know everyone, chatting with ease.

The farther they went, the more remote it became. Yu Mingyao finally began to feel a twinge of fear.

Her horse refused to move, pacing in place, hooves stuck.

Is this guy really dragging me all the way out here… for something shady?

Her courage wavered.

“Too late to be scared now!”

Pei Shang laughed and rode up beside her, extending a hand.

“Coming up? If you are, you better hold on tight.”

His hand was bigger than she expected. Rough and marked with red welts—like scars from pinching.

Before she could react, his strong arms pulled her up.

“Hold on!”

A whoosh of wind, the world spinning—then she was in his arms.

“Let’s go see something amazing!”

Pei Shang’s voice brimmed with joy.

Yu Mingyao didn’t know where he found such enthusiasm. She only knew his chest was burning hot behind her, heartbeat matching the horse’s gallop.

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A lake, clear as a mirror, shimmered in the sunset. Wildflowers filled the air with fragrance.

Yu Mingyao never expected to be brought to a paradise like this.

On the grassy slope, Pei Shang lay lazily, chewing a piece of foxtail grass, completely at ease.

He looked just like the Lord of the High Court from her past life.

“You’ve never been here, have you?” he asked casually. “You hardly ever leave home—no way you’ve seen this.”

“…Then again, you do go to school with Bizhu and the others—not exactly sheltered.”

He rested his hands behind his head.

“Sometimes I really wish you were a man. Or that all those brilliant, strong-willed girls could’ve been born as men.”

“Otherwise, trapped in the inner residence all their lives, managing chores, dying in childbirth—it’s just too cruel.”

Yu Mingyao caught a glimpse of tears glimmering at the corner of his eye.

What is he mourning? she wondered. Didn’t he live freely and happily before the Pei family’s downfall?

Why did he say such things?

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