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Chapter 36 — Disparity

“Don’t worry, Sister Yao, I will never let you down…”

She did not go to open the window.

Even though those knocks, one after another, seemed to be asking questions of her heart.

The moon set and the sun rose — in the blink of an eye, it was a new day.

After that night, the relationship between Yu Mingyao and Pei Shang, which had once been close and intimate like that of innocent young sweethearts, visibly cooled and grew distant.

With her change in attitude, how could those who were adept at currying favor not understand her meaning?

In an instant, the entire household knew — even the little maid tending the firewood in the main kitchen understood that the once-assured daughter-in-law of the main household likely wouldn’t come to be.

When the wind changes, so too do people’s attitudes.

Though the Pei family was upright and noble, no matter how noble a family might be, the masters would always have sharp ears and clear eyes.

Those beneath them inevitably fawned on the powerful and judged people by their status.

Madam Shiluo, Yanyue, and Yu Jinnian all carefully shielded Yu Mingyao, keeping her unaware of these shifts, so that she wouldn’t become estranged from Pei Shang and vent her anger on him.

Young people’s hearts are fickle — you never know how they might change from one day to the next.

Thus, day after day passed. Yu Mingyao remained in her quarters, spending her time embroidering, reading, practicing calligraphy, and occasionally sharing private conversations with Pei Bizhu.

In the height of summer’s heat, she would sometimes make cooling treats. With family nearby and friends constantly accompanying her, she was at ease and content.

A pond once full of brilliant lotuses soon turned into withered stalks. Just like that, the long summer faded, and autumn arrived in a blink.

Begonias and various chrysanthemums bloomed in competition. After the Mid-Autumn Festival, the Pei family welcomed two great joyful events at once.

Both Pei Lianzhu and Yu Mingyao were about to reach their hairpin ceremony age!

The two ceremonies were scheduled just days apart.

In families that paid attention to propriety, preparations for a girl’s coming-of-age ceremony typically began more than a month in advance.

After all, it was a once-in-a-lifetime occasion that could not be taken lightly.

The sponsor, the ceremony master, and the elder who would insert the ceremonial hairpin — all had to be carefully decided ahead of time.

Madam Shiluo, upon learning that Pei Lianzhu’s ceremony was scheduled three days before Yu Mingyao’s, pondered for a long while. In the end, she braved potential criticism and approached the Pei matriarch to suggest that perhaps they should return to their own Yu family residence to host Mingyao’s ceremony instead.

After all, they had been staying at the Pei residence for over half a year already and felt they had overstayed their welcome. Now that the family’s own daughter was busy preparing for her ceremony, as mere relatives borrowing a residence, they didn’t feel right about troubling the hosts further.

This proposal was gently but firmly declined by the Pei matriarch with a smile.

“The Pei family is fortunate to handle this grand affair for Mingyao. Just set your heart at ease — we won’t treat you or your granddaughter carelessly.”

Hearing this, Madam Shiluo could only suppress her worries and say no more.

On this day, just two days remained before Pei Lianzhu’s coming-of-age ceremony.

Yu Mingyao sat on the beauty couch by the window, chatting with Pei Bizhu.

Pei Bizhu, having just been punished and confined in the ancestral hall for two days, now returned with words tumbling out like a spinning wheel.

“You have no idea how hateful my eldest sister is! I don’t even know how we came from the same mother!”

“She used to be inseparable from Lianzhu, even sleeping in the same bed. Now that Lianzhu’s about to come of age and everyone in the household values her, that wretch set me up. Yuzhu didn’t defend me, and even helped Lianzhu!”

As Pei Bizhu spoke, her eyes reddened.

Seeing this, Yanyue handed her a plate of her favorite milk custard, finally soothing her grievances.

“You, you’ve got a sharp tongue but a soft heart — you’re easily manipulated by her,” Yu Mingyao shook her head.

Pei Bizhu, hearing this, set down her bowl of custard and resumed complaining: “These days, Sister Yao, since you’ve stayed inside, you don’t know how arrogant she is now! Her uncle, who used to be just an imperial merchant, got promoted again! He’s now Superintendent of the Weaving Bureau of Northern Zhili — how do all the good things just fall into her lap?”

“These past two days, she’s already received two or three loads of jewelry. Agate-inlaid silver hairpieces, ruby-inlaid gold headpieces, various jade bracelets, gilded bracelets, gold hairpins — I’ve been forced to listen to her brag about them all!”

Pei Bizhu’s face flushed red with anger. “She acts as if everyone envies her junk, always looking down her nose at people! And my eldest sister, it’s like she’s never seen nice things before — she fawns over her endlessly!”

In her indignation, she snorted coldly and glanced at Yu Mingyao. Without much thought, she blurted out: “If you marry Brother Shang, our household will be under your control in the future. There won’t be any room for those two to act so arrogant!”

Yu Mingyao cast her a sidelong glance, her tone cool: “Your sharp tongue again. I was kindly comforting you, and now you’re teasing me? If that’s the case, I can’t keep such a Buddha in my room.”

“There’s room, there’s room!” Pei Bizhu laughed as she tumbled into Yu Mingyao’s arms. After a bout of playful tussling, her gaze happened to fall on the embroidered mandarin duck cushion on the couch.

Her smile froze. Carefully climbing off of Yu Mingyao, she studied her face several times. Seeing that her mood was decent, Pei Bizhu cautiously asked, “What exactly is going on between you and my fourth brother?”

The smile on Yu Mingyao’s face instantly stiffened.

She avoided Pei Bizhu’s gaze, her eyes unconsciously falling to her empty wrist.

“What else could there be? We… there’s nothing between us.”

Her voice was low. The moment these self-deceiving words left her lips, not to mention Yanyue and Pei Bizhu, even she herself found them hard to believe.

A wave of bitterness surged from deep inside her.

Yu Mingyao forced a faint smile, but the more one looked at it, the more jarring it appeared.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore,” she changed the subject. “You said Yuzhu is back too — how is she doing lately?”

“What do you mean how is she doing?” Pei Bizhu replied casually, not realizing Yu Mingyao was probing her.

“After Grandmother’s birthday banquet, she went back saying she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to recuperate at the estate my mother gave her as part of her dowry. Fortunately, her husband’s Yuan family relies heavily on our family, and with my eldest sister being a widow, they agreed readily enough. At least they know propriety.”

Here, her words paused, and she glanced around.

Understanding her cue, Yanyue quietly retreated and slid the partition door shut. Pei Bizhu then leaned close to Yu Mingyao’s ear to whisper confidentially.

“I’m only telling you this — don’t spread it around.”

Yu Mingyao nodded. Pei Bizhu continued.

“I heard from my mother that with the two of you about to have your hairpin ceremonies, they’re planning to start looking at new marriage prospects for Yuzhu. After all, we’re not some stuffy old family — so what if her husband passed away? Plenty of women remarry. My eldest sister is only twenty — she can’t waste her youth clinging to a spirit tablet, right?”

Yu Mingyao lowered her gaze and remained silent.

Now she began to understand why Pei Yuzhu had always acted so towards her.

That woman had grand ambitions, her sights set far beyond ordinary households — even aiming for a prominent duke’s household like the Xie family. She certainly had confidence.

But where did that confidence come from? Even in her past life, after everything had happened, Yu Mingyao herself couldn’t be sure she could have successfully married Xie Zhuoguang.

With that thought, she pushed down her doubts and resumed chatting with Pei Bizhu.

The two laughed merrily at amusing anecdotes.

Just then, they heard Yu Jinnian hollering from afar.

“Sister! Come quickly — look what good things I brought back!”

Upon hearing that, Yu Mingyao exchanged a smile with Pei Bizhu.

“Let’s go.”

Pei Bizhu dashed ahead, with Yu Mingyao following close behind.

---

Pei Shang concealed his figure behind a rocky outcrop.

From a distance, he gazed fixedly at Yu Mingyao’s silhouette. In that moment, a rush of heartache and sorrow surged through his chest.

He didn’t even know how things had gone so awry between them — they had been fine, yet suddenly, her demeanor had turned cold and distant.

He couldn’t knock open her window, nor could he knock on the door to her heart.

The brilliance that once shone in Pei Shang’s eyes was now replaced by deep pain.

He felt a hint of resentment toward Xie Zhuoguang.

Pei Shang’s chest trembled as he let out a self-deprecating laugh.

After spacing out for a long while, he finally peeked his head out, only to discover that Yu Mingyao, who had been within his sight just moments ago, had vanished without a trace!

A jolt ran through Pei Shang’s entire body. He immediately leapt out from behind the artificial hill. He could no longer bear even the slightest risk of losing her — he couldn’t afford to lag behind again, not even by a single step.

His eyes turned sharp as he strode swiftly toward the pavilion. Just as he lifted his gaze to scan the surroundings, he caught a glimpse of the disappearing hem of a dress at the end of the path.

—

“This is Longjing tea freshly picked from West Lake this year. The water used is snowmelt from the first snowfall last year, gathered from plum tree branches. Have a taste.”

Madam Zhen smiled gently as she brewed the tea, raising her hand to signal for Nanny Gu, who was standing nearby, to leave.

Her gaze remained fixed on the teapot over the small red clay stove, her voice soft and tender. Her entire demeanor exuded tranquility and serenity.

Hearing this, Yu Mingyao quickly rose and accepted the teacup Madam Zhen handed over.

After placing the cup on the table and sitting back down on the cushion, she finally spoke her thanks.

“Madam, today you…”

She had only spoken halfway before realizing how presumptuous she sounded.

It was well known that Madam Zhen’s health was poor. The fact that she had slowly made her way to the courtyard gate and invited her inside for tea was already an honor. To question the elder’s actions would be improper.

Yet Madam Zhen’s expression remained warm and gentle, without the slightest trace of displeasure.

“We are fated to meet,” she said softly, lifting her eyes to smile at Yu Mingyao.

As Yu Mingyao gazed at the faint wrinkles pressed at the corners of her mouth, she realized that the dimples that appeared when Pei Shang smiled openly were inherited from his mother.

In her past life, she had not fallen for Pei Shang at this point in time, so naturally, she’d had no opportunity to grow close to his mother like this.

Having lived two lives, Yu Mingyao’s memories of her own mother had long since grown blurry.

Madam Zhen’s gentle, meticulous manner was like a spring breeze and nourishing rain. No matter how complicated her inner emotions were, they seemed to quiet and calm as soon as she encountered Madam Zhen.

She recalled Pei Shang once saying she reminded him of his mother.

“Drink a few sips first. If it doesn’t suit your taste, I’ll bring out some floral teas that young ladies prefer.”

Madam Zhen smiled kindly at Yu Mingyao and gestured for her to lift the teacup.

Hearing this, Yu Mingyao’s eyes stung slightly, and she lowered her gaze, murmuring, “I’m about to come of age soon. I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“No matter how old you grow, to me, you are still a child — just like my Shang-er.”

At this point, Yu Mingyao thought Madam Zhen would finally ask her about the past few months — about what had happened between her and Pei Shang, and why their once-close relationship had suddenly cooled.

She braced herself, her mind racing.

Yet contrary to her expectations, even after quite some time, Madam Zhen’s gentle voice did not sound.

Yu Mingyao slowly lifted her head in a daze, gazing at Pei Shang’s mother’s thin yet graceful face under the sunlight. Under the glow, Madam Zhen seemed like a bodhisattva brimming with compassion and mercy.

Lost in thought, Yu Mingyao absentmindedly drank a large gulp of the scalding tea.

The searing sensation rushed from her throat through her limbs. She hurriedly pulled out an embroidered handkerchief to cover her mouth as she coughed violently.

“Let me see — did you burn yourself anywhere?”

Madam Zhen furrowed her delicate brows slightly and leaned forward to inspect Yu Mingyao’s condition.

Yu Mingyao quickly waved her hand.
“No… no need. I just wasn’t careful and choked a little.”

Eyes closed and coughing painfully, she suddenly felt a soft, warm body embracing her.

Just like her mother used to when she was little, Madam Zhen gently patted her back, again and again.

Yu Mingyao didn’t even have time to react — she was momentarily stunned.

Only when that comforting warmth spread through her entire body did she slowly lift her hands and softly return the hug, then restrainedly let go.

“I’m really fine now. Thank you.”

She smiled, a glimmer of tears flashing in her eyes, quickly suppressed.

Madam Zhen shook her head slightly.
“If you burned yourself, just tell me. I have ointments here and even remedies for throat ailments.”

“Okay,” Yu Mingyao lowered her eyes. “I only wasted your tea.”

Hearing this, Madam Zhen slowly sat back.
“Tea can be brewed again. But life cannot be lived twice.”

Though the freshly brewed tea was poured out just like that, her face showed no trace of regret. She continued to tidy up the tea set with her usual graceful movements.

Yu Mingyao watched her motions and occasionally glanced around the room.

When she’d first entered, she had been too nervous to look around much. Now that her mind was calm, she took in her surroundings.

Though it wasn’t yet late autumn, silver-threaded charcoal was already burning inside Madam Zhen’s room, making one feel comfortably warm upon entry.

Her taste was exceptionally refined.

On the eastern side of the entrance stood a zitan wood screen intricately carved with birds, beasts, and flowers. Next to it was a curio shelf holding a jade vase filled with blooming blue orchids and purple hydrangeas.

Near the large window couch stood a yáoqín (jade zither).

The wood of the zither was warm and glossy, clearly well cared for and not neglected.

The entire room exuded a scholarly, tranquil atmosphere — just like its owner.

Yu Mingyao couldn’t help but think of her own room, which was far more casual and disorderly. If it weren’t for Yanyue tidying it daily, anyone who saw it would surely gossip endlessly.

Lost in thought, she suddenly heard Madam Zhen’s gentle voice once again.

“These past two days — has my foolish boy caused you a lot of grievance?”

Yu Mingyao, who had been anxiously anticipating it all day, finally heard Pei Shang’s name brought up when her guard was down.

But — the past two days?

She furrowed her brows and looked at Madam Zhen. Could she be referring to that incident in the small kitchen?

If so, was her humiliation already widely known?

Or was it that although Madam Zhen rarely left the house, she was aware of everything happening in the manor?

Casting a doubtful glance at Madam Zhen, who still appeared soft and gentle, Yu Mingyao saw her smile sweetly.

“The enemy is in the dark; I am in the light. I am weak, the enemy strong. At times like this, you either swallow the bitter pill quietly, or—”

She looked at Yu Mingyao.
“You must rally everyone you can and exert all your strength to take her down.”

“As the military texts say, on the battlefield, the situation shifts in an instant — it’s either you perish, or I do.”

With the sound of her words, the porcelain teacup knocked crisply against the hardwood table.

These words lingered in Yu Mingyao’s mind deep into the night.