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Chapter 50 – Pretending | Xie Zhuoguang Recovers His Memory

The atmosphere instantly turned ambiguous.

Just moments ago, Pei Shang had been quick with his words and restless with his hands. At that time, apart from feeling shy, Yu Mingyao had even been in the mood to tease and flirt back with him.

But the moment both of them realized that the next step would cross a line, Yu Mingyao, like Pei Shang, didn’t dare make a single sound.

Both of them froze completely, not daring to move an inch.

Pei Shang neither pulled away from Yu Mingyao nor deliberately moved closer. Even the breath that had earlier been audible between them suddenly vanished without a trace.

Time dragged unbearably. In that suffocating silence, the chaotic beating of their hearts was clearly audible.

In the neighboring cabin, all the earlier licentious laughter had ceased. By all accounts, Xie Zhuoguang should have been able to relax his long-held tension.

Yet instead, he felt as if he had sensed the urgency of an approaching storm. His heart didn’t relax—instead, it tightened even further.

A sharp, needle-like pain radiated from deep inside his ear to his entire body.

His face turned deathly pale, though he was completely unaware of it.

As time trickled by, with not a sound coming from just a few feet away, his heart clenched tighter and tighter. In his mind, it felt as though thunder was surging, on the verge of exploding with pain!

What were those two scheming? Why had it fallen so deathly silent?

In the midst of the stillness, countless images flashed through his mind.

“Sixth Lang, now that you are traveling so far, when will you return?”

“Husband, the medicine tastes so bitter, but it must be worth it, right? Once I’ve recovered, I’ll finally be able to bear you children. You don’t even know how long my grandmother and elder brother have been hoping for this child.”

One moment, she nestled gently in his arms, whispering softly. The next moment, her beautiful, radiant face was streaked with tears!

She clutched his collar, her almond-shaped eyes filled with hatred!

She said, “There are so many fine young men in the capital. Why would I admire you?”

She lashed out, “That bowl of tea should never have been drunk by you. If it had been anyone else, how wonderful that would’ve been…”

He saw himself, face dark with rage, saying nothing as he pressed her down on the bed again—disregarding her will, forcing her to submit to him with his body.

She bit him, cursed him, used every method to torment him, but in the end, they always reached into the deepest corners of each other’s hearts and became one.

There would never be a pair of lovers more perfectly matched than him and her. Xie Zhuoguang’s face remained icy cold, his palms so tightly clenched that his fingernails broke the skin, drawing blood without him noticing.

In the next cabin—

Pei Shang took a sharp breath and shifted his body backward.

The sudden easing of tension allowed Yu Mingyao to let out a long breath as well. Her body, which had been too afraid to move, visibly rose and fell with her breaths.

Though reason had returned, the deep desire burning in their hearts was not something that could be so easily extinguished.

The more Pei Shang tried to restrain himself and suppress his unspeakable thoughts, the more his gaze uncontrollably landed on Yu Mingyao.

Her cheeks were flushed, and from her ears down to her neck, all looked as though dusted with rouge—utterly enticing. Even the faint curve at the overlap of her collar, half-concealed and half-visible, stirred an uncontrollable yearning in him.

He quietly lay flat on his back, fixing his gaze on the arched ceiling of the cabin, no longer looking at Yu Mingyao.

He bent his legs and, like a thief deceiving himself, used his clothing to cover that shameful part of himself.

From behind came hurried, low grunts. Yu Mingyao, her ears burning and her face still flushed, heard this and quietly perked up her ears.

Several heartbeats passed. When she noticed that the movements beside her had not stopped—in fact had grown less restrained—her face reddened further. With an unreadable expression, she shifted her body slightly, wanting to turn towards Pei Shang.

Unexpectedly, though Pei Shang’s attention had been fixed on her all along, the moment she moved, he propped his elbow against her back to prevent her from turning over.

A slightly bitter voice sounded:
“Don’t look. My dear, don’t look. I’m afraid of dirtying your eyes.”

As his words fell, Yu Mingyao flushed crimson from head to toe.

She obediently followed Pei Shang’s instructions and didn’t turn her head at all. Perhaps because she looked so rarely docile and endearing like this, Pei Shang couldn’t help himself—his earlier restraint suddenly broke, and he indulged recklessly.

In the small cabin, no one spoke, but the movements didn’t stop.

Just a foot away, Xie Zhuoguang clenched his fists tightly.

Rather than being a cuckolded husband who listened to sounds in the dark and festered with mad jealousy, he’d rather brazenly burst through the door and end the cursed scene in the next cabin!

Even if Yu Mingyao had once been young and naïve, deceived into giving her body to someone—so what? That wasn’t an excuse for Pei Shang to disrespect her!

She was his rightful wife, not just some random woman, and certainly not some courtesan to be trifled with!

Pei Shang—Pei Shang!

Xie Zhuoguang’s teeth ground together so hard they nearly shattered.

And at this moment, Pei Shang, like a scoundrel, was even calling out “My dear” and trying to provoke her further.

Xie Zhuoguang could endure it no longer. His fury drove him without a second thought to ball his hand into a fist and slam it hard against the cabin wall.

The force was so great that a loud bang rang out, even shaking loose some dust.

Pei Shang hadn’t even withdrawn his hand from under his clothes.

He lifted his gaze and stared coldly at the cabin wall behind him—the first time his eyes turned as chilling as an icy lake.

Who exactly was living next door?

Suddenly, he recalled—last time, when Yu Mingyao had been attacked, it was Xie Zhuoguang, cool and seemingly devoid of earthly desires, who had rescued her. Back then, his own relationship with Yu Mingyao hadn’t been as deep as it was now, and Xie Zhuoguang had shown no visible affection for her at all.

Yet even then, he had secretly protected her, traveling nearly a thousand miles.

And now?

When she might again face danger during this trip home, could this man truly have no lingering feelings?

Would he really just stand by and let Pei Shang marry his beloved wife and bring her home?

Was Xie Zhuoguang really as upright and aboveboard as he appeared?

Suspicion welled up in Pei Shang’s heart. He decided to test it.

The burning desire that had surged earlier instantly cooled. Pei Shang calmly stopped his movements, leisurely pulled out the silk handkerchief Yu Mingyao had given him, and meticulously wiped his fingers.

He cleaned every single finger, not missing a crevice.

“Yao-meimei, turn around.”

His low, flirtatious coaxing voice broke the silence of the cabin where only their heartbeats could be heard.

Xie Zhuoguang’s face remained cold as ice.

The frost in his heart hadn’t melted yet, and in less than two breaths’ time, the brazen sounds of those two in the next cabin rang out even more boldly.

“Creak, creak—”

He heard Yu Mingyao let out a surprised cry, followed by soft moans like a cat in heat. He heard Pei Shang’s voice grow hoarser, his movements rougher, and his mouth spouting lewd nonsense like some lecherous client.

He said he’d found a small manual and wanted to try it with her.

He heard the wet sounds of lips and tongues entangling.

His head, already aching terribly, throbbed even more fiercely!

In a daze, he seemed to hear Yu Mingyao crying out to him—

“Sixth Lang, it hurts so much…”

Her voice was gentle, as though she were acting spoiled, but the stubbornness and despair in her brows pierced the eyes of the him in that vision.

Xie Zhuoguang gasped sharply, suddenly unable to tell what was real and what was false.

His back was drenched in cold sweat, and in his ears was nothing but the blurred gasps from the next cabin…

“My dear, call me husband…”

Xie Zhuoguang’s heart twisted painfully, and he heard his own voice crack hoarsely—

“Get out!”

As those words fell, in the next cabin, Pei Shang—who had been pretending all along—finally showed a trace of satisfied smile.

Pei Shang was a straightforward man, never one to wear such an expression.

Though Yu Mingyao had gone along with his act, she never understood what had happened, her face showing confusion.

Pei Shang simply stroked her head with his clean hand and said gently,

“It’s nothing. You’ve suffered.”

He dropped a kiss on her forehead, then without any further intimacy, helped her sit up and smoothed the wrinkles on her disheveled collar.

“If anything happens, you must tell me. Don’t hide it from me.”

A trace of unease flickered in Yu Mingyao’s heart.

Pei Shang’s expression remained gentle, but a rare sadness flashed through his eyes.

“Really, it’s nothing.”

All he wished was for her life to be peaceful and safe.

—

Xie Zhuoguang’s vision remained dark for a long while. When his senses slowly returned, he finally remembered everything!

Everything—all of it—had come back to him!

If not for that high fever, he wouldn’t have delayed so long. He should have remembered much earlier.

Last time, when he was gravely ill and Yu Mingyao visited him, those memories from his previous life had already begun resurfacing.

But alas, fate was cruel. Once his fever subsided, he forgot everything again.

Her tear-filled eyes at their farewell had lingered in his mind ever since.

Two lifetimes had passed, and he had finally understood her heart.

The one who had actively given up their marital bond wasn’t Yu Mingyao—it had been him. Otherwise, her engagement to Pei Shang should have been finalized long ago, not dragged out for nearly a month.

A matter that should have been settled firmly had dragged on so long—she must have been under immense pressure, right?

Her grandmother, though seemingly gentle, was a woman of strong principles and surely scolded her.

And the opportunistic eyes of the Pei family—had it always been Pei Shang’s mother in charge, he wouldn’t have worried one bit. But Lady Li was shortsighted and foolish.

Even Pei Yuzhu, Yu Mingyao’s so-called close confidante, wasn’t someone with pure intentions.

At the thought of all this, bitterness involuntarily crept onto Xie Zhuoguang’s face.

He didn’t know how he and Yu Mingyao—such a naturally perfect pair—had ended up in such a state of outward harmony but inner discord, sharing a bed yet dreaming different dreams.

Back then, she had been so young, so pitiful. Clearly, she had a bright, bold, and radiant personality, yet day after day she shrank like a quail behind Pei Yuzhu.

Her heart was pure and kind; even seeing a beggar go hungry on the street would sadden her for half a day. How could she have fared well in the Pei family’s den of schemers?

Xie Zhuoguang still didn’t think it was wrong for him to have drunk that bowl of tea despite knowing it was drugged.

If not him, it would have been someone else.

He could protect her, value her—others could not.

Only under his careful nurture could she gradually bare her fangs, dare to hold her head high before others, dare to bluff and bluster.

Though white mourning garb made her look shyly charming, such plain, delicate colors did not suit her.

She was a vibrant begonia, a regal peony—never a petty wildflower or weed.

He had spent so long cultivating her, and fate had played a cruel trick, causing him to lose his beloved.

Knock, knock—

Lost in his memories, Xie Zhuoguang didn’t know how much time had passed when a series of knocks echoed from the cabin door.

The sound was unhurried and rhythmic.

One could tell the person knocking was very calm inside.

At that moment, however, Xie Zhuoguang’s lips involuntarily curved upwards, a bitter smile flashing across his handsome features.

He knew—someone had come to settle accounts.

But what could the memory-less him of that time have done?

Just stand by and watch as his beloved was forcefully taken and possessed by another man, given the most intimate joys of the human world?

Xie Zhuoguang knew himself—no matter how magnanimous he was, he could never bring himself to hand over his beloved wife to another.

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