When I was ten years old, my eight-year-old brother fell into the water, and I just passed by and saved him.

But because he was afraid of punishment, he told his father that I had pushed him.

I tried to get justice for myself, but I was taken for a sophomoric defense.

My father loved my brother and ordered me to spend a day naked in the river, with a crowd of palace maidens and eunuchs watching.

He said he had to teach me a lesson.

We all have a sense of shame.

I called out to the guards I used to play with to help me disperse the people, begging them to show me some face.

They were evasive.

By the end of the bath, I was cold and had a high fever for a day and a night.

I was so weak that I stayed in bed for a week.

During this week, I saw no one except the doctor.

Later, my brother finally told me that he fell into the water by himself.

He came to apologize in person.

But I was so scared when I saw him that I couldn’t utter a complete sentence.

So I simply closed my door and didn’t see him.

Over time, I became more and more afraid to see people.

I always feel that seeing them reminds me of how cold the water in the pool was that day, how piercing the mocking eyes of the palace maids and eunuchs were, and how loud the sound of the royal children and princesses laughing and joking was.

14

Since the Regent left, I have not slept well for a day.

Always think of the Regent.

Always worried that there will be bad news.

I have been waiting and waiting.

But I waited for the bad news.

Late at night, news came from the border:

“Urgent military report, the Regent has been defeated, with many dead and wounded, I beg Your Majesty to open the warehouses and release the grain!”

Open the warehouse and release the food?

“How can that be? I’m not …….”

Oh, no!

I hastily got up from my couch and summoned all the officials, only to realize that they were secretly competing for power and colluding with the various ministries to withhold food and grass.

I was so angry that I went to the treasury to open the storehouse and release the grain.

“I have decided to go on the expedition myself.”

“Your Majesty, once you’re gone, who’ll be able to hold the palace? I hope you’ll think twice.”

I kicked the minister, “I don’t want to be the emperor, whoever wants to be the emperor!

“My last order is to support the war on the border and the Regent!”

The army is to be deployed immediately.

The moment the army set off, Zhang Jin hurriedly came: “Your Majesty, you have never traveled far, and you have never fought on the battlefield, you are sending yourself to death.”

“I have decided to go, it is better to die in battle than to become a dim king.”

Zhang Jin bowed, “Your Majesty can’t afford to be without someone. I will go with you, whether I live or die, I will follow you.”

Huo Liang, you must wait for me.

15

When I arrived at the barracks at the border, Huo Liang was clad in heavy armor and holding an iron sword, and the dust on his face could not stop the power of his features.

The other officers are the first to see me.

“Greetings, Your Majesty.

“Greetings, Your Majesty.”
Huo Liang turns around afterward and stares at me for a long time: “Your Majesty, are you really here?”

“Wherever the Regent is, I am.”

“Your Majesty has brought an abundance of food and grass, we are finally saved!”

I went with the Regent to visit the barracks.

There were many dead and wounded soldiers.

“It’s my fault I didn’t realize the old man’s trick in time and lost so many warriors.”

“Your Majesty, are you afraid?”

Huo Liang held my hand, “I will protect you.”

16

A cloud of dust rises, and everything settles down.

Only the hoofprints of horses remained.

The young man sat on the back of his horse, holding the flag of the army and returning home victorious.

From the barracks came the cheers of the soldiers:

“We’ve finally won!”

At the celebration banquet, I’ve never seen Huo Liang smile so happily.

“The country you wanted to protect, I have protected it for you.”

I asked him, “And you, Huo Liang, what do you want?”

“What I want now is still nothing more than Your Majesty.”

I look beyond the tent, “I have met my deposed brother along the way, I think he will be more suitable for this position than I am”.

“Your Majesty is trying to ……

“Huo Liang, once the matter of the Huo family’s redress of grievances is settled, you go and do what you want to do, I’ll accompany you.”

Huo Liang should not be in the imperial court, but should be a general fighting in the battlefield.

As he once told me in my childhood, he should fight in the battlefield at will. I took Huo Liang’s rough hand and held it in mine.

I held Huo Liang’s rough hand:

“I held Huo Liang’s rough hand and said, “Now I realize what I want, and what I want is only you.

(End)