Font Size:
“Doctor Chen, do I need to avoid certain foods because of my illness?”
“I can stop eating and drinking hot pot, barbecue, milk tea, and cola.”
“I can also go to bed early, wake up early, and stop staying late.”
Zhuang Zi’ang stared at his attending physician, Chen Dexiu, with a sincere expression.
Because he had a faint feeling that his physical condition seemed to be a little off.
Doctor Chen Dexiu was about fifty years old, with a receding hairline and thick gold-rimmed glasses.
Behind him, a wall full of banners silently testified to his superb medical skills and high moral standards.
“No, just eat whatever you want!”
Such a light remark hit Zhuang Zi’ang like a bolt from the blue.
It was deafening!
The diagnosis report handed to him by Doctor Chen Dexiu was filled with dense medical jargon, and the word “cancer” stood out glaringly.
“Doctor Chen, I’m only eighteen.”
“I’ve seen many who were even younger than you leave this world.”
“Then how much time do I have left?”
“At most three months. Take it easy; everyone has to face that day eventually.”
…
Zhuang Zi’ang clutched the diagnosis report, not remembering how he left the hospital.
His mind was blank as he stumbled along the road, accidentally knocking over several shared bicycles.
At the age of eighteen, in this season of blooming peach blossoms, his life had already begun its countdown.
Three months, ninety days, two thousand one hundred sixty hours…
Doctor Chen Dexiu said three months, but in reality, it might not even be that long.
In the blink of an eye, he would have to say goodbye to this world.
There were certainly regrets, but he didn’t feel particularly sad.
To be honest, Zhuang Zi’ang didn’t have a strong attachment to this world.
The beauty of the world seemed to have little to do with him.
What is love?
It is “Swallow, how can I live without you?”
It is “Arigato, Mei Yang Yang Sang.”
What is family?
Ever since his parents divorced when he was five, he rarely felt the warmth of family ties.
That so-called “home” was merely a place to sleep at night.
Every time he returned, he felt tense and on edge, like a complete outsider.
Only at his grandfather’s house in the countryside could he find a rare sense of solace for his soul.
Zhuang Zi’ang self-deprecatingly thought that the reason he had lived to eighteen was simply that since he was already in this world, he might as well not seek death actively.
But now, with a terminal illness, not dying was no longer an option.
In these last three months, let me meet my end with dignity; no one should come to bother me.
“Boss, give me a roast chicken; no need to butcher it; I just want to hold the whole thing and gnaw on it.”
“Milk tea with ice, make it the highest calories, the sweetest sugar, and the most trans fats.”
“Stinky tofu, extra spicy, and a lot of chopped green onions.”
…
When Zhuang Zi’ang was a child, he watched a TV show where Hong Qigong held a whole beggar’s chicken and devoured it, and he yearned for that moment.
Today, he finally made it happen.
Facing the peculiar gazes of passersby, he gnawed on the chicken with grease dripping from his mouth.
Yet, he felt an unprecedented sense of exhilaration.
Passing by a wholesale market, Zhuang Zi’ang spent thirty yuan to buy a floral shirt.
The colors were incredibly gaudy, and wearing it made him look just like a gangster.
Looking at himself in the mirror, he felt incredibly satisfied.
From childhood to now, he had always been the “good kid” and the “model student” in others’ eyes.
But everyone has a rebellious side deep down.
With just three months left to live, why pretend to be pure?
In these last three months, he wanted to be himself, the most authentic Zhuang Zi’ang.
Dressed in a flamboyant floral shirt and holding a half-eaten roast chicken, Zhuang Zi’ang was stopped by the security guard at the school gate.
Only after he presented his student ID and a leave request signed by his homeroom teacher, and the guard made a confirmation call, was he allowed to enter.
“Ugh, today’s students are so unruly; what is this world coming to!”
As Zhuang Zi’ang stepped through the school gates, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the sighs of the security guard behind him.
The guard had no idea that this seemingly unruly student had ranked first in the entire grade for two consecutive years.
He was a model student and an outstanding student leader recognized by the city.
But to Zhuang Zi’ang at this moment, these accolades were nothing but empty titles.
He would no longer be bound by these so-called halos.
It was just after class, and the playground was filled with noise and commotion.
Outside the classroom of Class 9, a few students were playfully chasing each other.
When Zhuang Zi’ang walked into the classroom dressed like a flamboyant rooster, he immediately captured the attention of his classmates.
“What on earth is he thinking, showing up to school dressed like that?”
“If the discipline director catches him, a three-thousand-word self-critique is just the starting point.”
“Zhuang Zi’ang took sick leave yesterday, and looking at him now, he must be seriously ill!”
…
Zhuang Zi’ang ignored the looks of disbelief from his classmates and plopped down at his desk, re wrapping the half-eaten roast chicken and stuffing it into his drawer.
Then he downed the cup of milk tea, which was loaded with trans fats, in one go.
“Zhuang Zi’ang, why didn’t you reply to my message?”
A girl in front turned around, her eyes filled with questions.
Lin Mu Shi, the school’s goddess-level beauty.
She had a pair of striking almond-shaped eyes, but her gaze always carried an air of arrogance, like that of a princess.
Such a girl was never short of admirers.
To be more blunt, there were plenty of “licking dogs” around her.
Zhuang Zi’ang was one of them.
After all, they sat next to each other, spending their days together, and it was hard for a boy in his teenage years not to develop feelings for such a beautiful girl.
Zhuang Zi’ang pulled out his phone and found many unread messages.
Among them, three were from Lin Mu Shi.
“Zhuang Zi’ang, I want to eat the sheng jian bao from Li Ji tomorrow morning. Remember to buy them for me.”
“Why weren’t you at school today? You didn’t reply to my messages.”
“If you continue to play hide-and-seek, I won’t give you another chance to pursue me.”
Although the words were cold, Zhuang Zi’ang could still sense Lin Mu Shi’s superior tone.
I’m about to die; why should I care about whether you give me a chance or not?
“You’re not anyone special to me; why should I buy whatever you want?” Zhuang Zi’ang casually swiped away the chat box.
“What did you say?” Lin Mu Shi’s eyes widened in disbelief, thinking she had misheard.
Zhuang Zi’ang had dared to talk to her in that tone.
What kind of “licking dog” was this bold?
“I’m sick; I took sick leave, and you didn’t even express a single word of concern, only worried about a few measly buns,” Zhuang Zi’ang shook his head.
He admitted that he had indeed liked Lin Mu Shi before.
But Lin Mu Shi had always been ambivalent towards him, hot and cold.
Just when he was about to give up, she would subtly offer a glimmer of hope.
She was toying with him.
Upon learning of his terminal illness, Zhuang Zi’ang finally had an epiphany and decided to immediately end this meaningless tug-of-war.
I don’t have much time left to live; I don’t have time to play games with you.
“Zhuang Zi’ang, what is your attitude?” Lin Mu Shi’s eyebrows furrowed in anger.
“Lin, I never had the obligation to buy breakfast for you. Buying it was a kindness; not buying it is my right. You seem to have not clarified your position,” Zhuang Zi’ang replied calmly.
“Zhuang Zi’ang, are you really sick in the head? You’ll lose me forever if you continue like this,” Lin Mu Shi said with a hint of threat.
Her considerable chest rose and fell.
Her beautiful almond-shaped eyes burned with anger.
Zhuang Zi’ang’s eyes were indifferent: “Whatever. It’s not like I ever had you anyway.”
Extremely disappointed with Zhuang Zi’ang, Lin Mu Shi turned her head away angrily.
In truth, she did have a considerable amount of affection for Zhuang Zi’ang. After all, he was handsome, academically excellent, and had a warm personality.
The reason she hadn’t accepted his advances was that she hadn’t yet reached the point of being madly in love with him.
But what did he mean by that?
Did he give up so easily just because he couldn’t get her?
How could someone pursuing a girl lack such perseverance and determination?