I Have Three Months Left To Live, Please Let Me Face Death With Dignity
I Have Three Months Left To Live, Please Let Me Face Death With Dignity Chapter 36

Chapter 36: No Turning Back

This sentence is truly ambiguous.

Zhuang Zi’ang was stunned for several seconds, his eyes wide open, momentarily at a loss for words.

Only then did Su Yudie realize, her face turning red as she said, “I meant your bedding is too hard.”

Zhuang Zi’ang cleared his throat a couple of times: “I know, it’s fine.”

In the small bedroom, the atmosphere became somewhat awkward.

The young man and woman each harbored their own thoughts, falling into a long silence.

They had clearly agreed to chat together, yet now found themselves unsure of how to begin.

Uncertain of how much time had passed, Su Yudie finally spoke softly, “Zhuang Zi’ang, I have something going on these days, so I might not come to school.”

“What is it?” Zhuang Zi’ang asked, surprised.

“Well, it’s just that I’ll be delayed for a few days!” Su Yudie said evasively, unwilling to elaborate.

“Then what about the weekend? Aren’t you coming to hang out with me?” Zhuang Zi’ang felt a flutter of anxiety in his heart.

“Um, this weekend you can help me feed the stray cats and tell them I’ll come back next time,” Su Yudie said, lying on her back, staring at the white ceiling.

She didn’t dare to look into Zhuang Zi’ang’s eyes.

Because even without looking, she knew he must be very disappointed.

“Can I call or text you?” Zhuang Zi’ang asked cautiously, his voice trembling slightly.

“Calling might not work, but if you text me, I promise I’ll reply when I see it.” Su Yudie’s eyes also clouded with sorrow.

She finally summoned the courage to turn her head and look at Zhuang Zi’ang, only to find his eyes were red, as if he was trying hard to suppress his sadness.

Su Yudie lowered her arms and took Zhuang Zi’ang’s hand.

“It’s only a few days delay; when I come back, I will definitely come to find you right away.”

Zhuang Zi’ang tightly held that delicate little hand, greedily savoring this moment of warmth.

He silently cried out in his heart, “Silly girl, don’t you know that not just days, but even a second with you is incredibly precious to me? I don’t have much time left.”

Thinking of the stack of leave requests in Su Yudie’s bag, a strong sense of unease spread endlessly within him.

You must come back quickly!

This afternoon nap was destined to be sleepless.

Their hands remained tightly clasped, never letting go.

Su Yudie, still optimistic, chattered away, telling some random, silly jokes.

Zhuang Zi’ang listened quietly, responding with laughter at the right moments.

Unknowingly, tears slipped from the corners of his eyes, silently falling onto the pillow.

Fortunately, at this angle, Su Yudie couldn’t see.

Time always seems to fly when one is with a loved one.

Before the afternoon exam began, Zhuang Zi’ang and Su Yudie parted by the flowerbed.

“Big idiot, make sure to do well on the exam and aim for first place. Just don’t make me do anything too outrageous,” Su Yudie reminded him of their agreement, encouraging Zhuang Zi’ang to take the exam seriously.

“I will. You must come back soon,” Zhuang Zi’ang said reluctantly.

“When I return, the peach blossoms should have wilted, right?” Su Yudie said somewhat sadly.

The peach blossom at her temple, however, remained vibrant, showing no signs of withering.

It seemed to have absorbed nutrients from her flowing hair.

Zhuang Zi’ang sighed inwardly, knowing that once this season of peach blossoms passed, he wouldn’t see them again.

As the exam approached, the campus was devoid of students, exuding an unusual quietness.

Only the wind rustled the leaves and flowers, creating a soft, whispering sound.

“Let’s go; you don’t want to be late,” Su Yudie urged.

Zhuang Zi’ang nodded silently and turned slowly.

Suddenly, a warm body pressed against his back, enveloping him tightly.

Two delicate arms wrapped around his waist.

“Xiao butterfly…”

“Don’t say anything; just let me hold you for a moment.”

At that moment, it felt as if the wind had stopped.

Other than his own rapid heartbeat, Zhuang Zi’ang could hear nothing.

How he wished time could stand still at that instant.

Love has a sweetness of a thousandth, and he would rather be buried in this moment.

The bell for the exam rang, signaling it was time to part ways.

Su Yudie released her hold: “Big idiot, don’t look back. Just keep moving forward.”

Zhuang Zi’ang fought against the urge to turn around and took a step forward.

The scent of the girl lingered in the air, growing fainter.

As he climbed the stairs to the second floor and looked back at the flowerbed, the beauty was no longer in sight.

Only the pale pink and white hyacinths swayed gently in the breeze.

The afternoon’s math exam was the most torturous subject.

Although Zhuang Zi’ang didn’t particularly like math, his quick mind allowed him to score nearly full marks each time.

Having frequently tackled competition questions, these ordinary exam questions felt like child’s play to him.

Gathering his thoughts, he finished the exam paper, with a whole half hour left before the test ended.

Within the designated area, he wrote down Su Yudie’s name, Class 23.

After submitting his exam early, Zhuang Zi’ang walked down the stairs and happened to run into Deng Haijun.

He greeted him, “Haijun, you might really take first place this time.”

Deng Haijun smiled and asked, “What makes you say that? Struggling with the math problems?”

“How could that be? The questions were too easy this time; I just forgot to write my name,” Zhuang Zi’ang replied.

Deng Haijun was taken aback, his eyes filled with skepticism.

The top student in the grade could be so careless?

Besides, having submitted the paper early, how could he forget to write his name?

“Haijun, walk with me for a bit!”

“What’s wrong with you? Two grown men wandering around school—doesn’t that sound a bit cheesy?” Deng Haijun said jokingly but still agreed to Zhuang Zi’ang’s request.

However, instead of strolling around the campus, they headed towards the bus stop outside the school.

Zhuang Zi’ang gazed into the distance and said softly, “Haijun, after this month’s exam, I won’t be taking any more tests. From now on, you’ll likely be the top student in the grade.”

Deng Haijun was astonished. “What do you mean? Are you transferring schools?”

“Pretty much. I won’t be here for long,” Zhuang Zi’ang answered.

“You’re crazy! Why would you transfer now when graduation is right around the corner?” Deng Haijun raised his voice.

“If I leave, you’ll be first. Why does it sound like you’re a bit reluctant to see me go?” Zhuang Zi’ang teased.

“You’d better be serious and not joking with me.” Deng Haijun’s expression turned serious.

“I’m definitely serious. We competition students value rigor,” Zhuang Zi’ang said, dropping his playful tone and becoming solemn.

They had participated in many competitions together, fighting side by side as comrades.

They had shared the glory of victory and tasted the bitterness of defeat together.

It was time to say a proper goodbye.

“Zhuang Zi’ang, you bastard, backing out at the last minute—what kind of man are you?”

“I wanted to win against you, but I wanted to do it fairly and squarely, not relying on your charity.”

“If it weren’t for wanting to surpass you, I wouldn’t have achieved today’s results. What does it mean for you to leave now?”

Deng Haijun suddenly erupted, leaving Zhuang Zi’ang at a loss for words.

He hadn’t expected this guy, who had always seen him as a rival, would be so reluctant to part ways.

“Haijun, you’ll encounter many more formidable opponents in the future, but don’t forget about me, your former stumbling block.”

“Zhuang Zi’ang, do you really have to leave?” Deng Haijun asked in a low voice.

“I have to leave,” Zhuang Zi’ang replied with a sad smile.

This was a matter beyond his control.

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