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hether from the cold or panic, her body shook continuously.
After taking a taxi back to the rented apartment, Zhuang Zi’ang told Xiao Yudie to wash up in the bathroom and take a hot shower first.
He stepped out to the nearest clothing store and bought her a change of clothes.
On the way back, he staggered, feeling a burning sensation all over.
The illness had sounded its alarm once again.
Zhuang Zi’ang returned to the rented apartment and placed the clothes outside the bathroom, where the sound of running water could be heard.
“Xiao Yudie, I’ve left the clothes here. I’m a bit tired, so I’ll take a nap on the bed,” he called out.
After hearing Su Yudie respond, he turned and walked back into the bedroom.
Having been caught in the rain, he felt a bit feverish, his head heavy and clouded.
After a while, Su Yudie emerged from the bathroom, wearing the new clothes Zhuang Zi’ang had bought for her, her eyes still slightly puffy.
She entered the bedroom and saw Zhuang Zi’ang lying on the bed, his face pale and looking unwell.
“Big dummy, what’s wrong with you?” Su Yudie gently shook him.
“I’m fine; I’ll be okay after a nap,” Zhuang Zi’ang mumbled, his voice thick with congestion.
Su Yudie reached out and placed her hand on his forehead, only to find it burning.
She quickly withdrew her hand, filled with overwhelming guilt.
“I’m so sorry; it’s all my fault for always making those around me worry.”
The rain gradually stopped.
Su Yudie went to a nearby pharmacy and bought some fever-reducing medicine, returning to feed Zhuang Zi’ang.
She then placed a cool towel on his forehead to help lower his temperature.
In his dazed state, Zhuang Zi’ang felt the girl’s gentle care.
If it weren’t for the sight of her lovely figure at the bedside when he opened his eyes, he might have thought he was dreaming.
Throughout his life, whenever he was sick, he had always endured it alone.
Being cared for so meticulously felt like a nearly forgotten sensation.
Time passed, and Su Yudie’s soft voice came to his ear.
“Big dummy, you need to take care of yourself and get better soon.”
“I can’t be so selfish, just thinking of myself and having fun. I need to go back and be with my grandma.”
“You should still be happy every day, even when I’m not around.”
As Zhuang Zi’ang’s consciousness faded in and out, those words suddenly struck him hard.
He opened his eyes with effort, “Xiao Yudie, what did you say?”
At that moment, Xiao Yudie leaned down and kissed Zhuang Zi’ang on the lips.
The sensation of her lips felt so real.
Zhuang Zi’ang’s body tensed up, his hands gripping the bedsheet tightly, his eyes wide open.
His mind went blank, and his heart raced, almost leaping out of his chest.
Xiao Yudie, so close, had her eyes tightly shut, her eyelashes trembling slightly.
How he wished time could freeze in that moment.
For eternity, through all hardships.
As the farewell kiss ended, Xiao Yudie lifted her head, a single tear falling onto Zhuang Zi’ang’s cheek.
“Big dummy, I will really miss you. Wait for me to come back.”
After saying that, she took one last look at Zhuang Zi’ang, mustering all her courage, and turned to dash out of the bedroom.
Zhuang Zi’ang called out in a panic, “Xiao Yudie, where are you going?”
All he received in response was the heavy sound of the door slamming shut.
The world seemed to fall silent.
Struggling, Zhuang Zi’ang climbed out of bed, dragging his weak body to open the door and look downstairs.
That figure had already disappeared without a trace.
He picked up his phone and dialed Su Yudie’s number, but all he could hear was the cold sound of it being turned off.
“Xiao Yudie, Xiao Yudie…”
Leaning against the wall, Zhuang Zi’ang slowly slid down to the floor, murmuring her name over and over.
This time, how long would you disappear for?
Would I still be able to wait for you to come back?
In a world devoid of light, the boy would once again plunge into a suffocating darkness.
In the glass fish tank, the goldfish swam happily in pairs, carefree.
Zhuang Zi’ang stared at them blankly, sitting on the floor for a long, long time.
“To become a pair of fish, why worry about death? I wish to be a mandarin duck, not envying immortals.”
On that day, Zhuang Zi’ang felt like a walking corpse.
Compared to the sorrow in his heart, this bit of physical illness was nothing.
Was death ultimately a torment or a release?
The next day was Monday. Zhuang Zi’ang’s fever had subsided, but his head still felt heavy and groggy.
He pushed through his illness to attend class.
In these last moments, he wanted to be with his teachers and classmates; he didn’t want to be alone, dying without anyone noticing.
Only Zhang Zhiyuan and Lin Mu Shi knew about Zhuang Zi’ang’s condition.
Seeing Zhuang Zi’ang’s pale complexion, they expressed extra concern, offering many comforting words.
Zhuang Zi’ang tried hard to appear nonchalant, assuring them not to worry.
He planned to check on Xiao Yudie during the lunch break, wanting to see if she had come to class.
Even if he didn’t say a word, just seeing her from afar would be enough.
“Son, are you okay? Why do you look so troubled?”
During the break, Li Huang Xuan asked with concern.
Although he was usually carefree, he could still clearly sense Zhuang Zi’ang’s unusual gloominess.
Zhuang Zi’ang found an excuse, saying, “I watched a tragic movie over the weekend, and it really weighed on my heart.”
“Movies are all fake. Can a big guy like you really cry over one?” Li Huang Xuan said, slightly skeptical.
Looking at his best friend, Zhuang Zi’ang suddenly decided to confide in him.
Some things, once spoken, might feel a little better.
“That movie’s main character has a terminal illness, and the doctor says he only has three months left to live.”
“He originally just wanted to face death calmly but unexpectedly met a girl he deeply loved.”
“What do you think? Should this kind of love be kept hidden, or should it be expressed bravely?”
Li Huang Xuan furrowed his brow at this topic.
It seemed like something only girls would want to discuss.
As a lifelong single guy, was he really suited for this conversation?
Seeing his hesitation, Zhuang Zi’ang forced a smile and said, “Let’s just discuss it casually. What would you do in that situation?”
“I think if you’re not going to live long, you should quietly find a place to die and not burden others!” Li Huang Xuan replied, stroking his chin.
“What?” Zhuang Zi’ang’s heart jolted.
Lin Mu Shi, sitting in front, suddenly turned around, her eyes filled with tears.
She glared at Li Huang Xuan and scolded, “What nonsense are you spouting?”
It turned out she had been listening closely to Zhuang Zi’ang and Li Huang Xuan’s conversation.
Only she understood how much harm Li Huang Xuan’s careless words could cause Zhuang Zi’ang.
Li Huang Xuan harbored resentment towards Lin Mu Shi and deliberately argued back, “What did I say wrong? If you’re going to die, then what’s the point of talking about love?”
“If you can’t offer her a future, why bother getting involved with her?”
“If that guy truly loves the girl, he should let her go so she can find happiness again.”
…
In his effort to argue with Lin Mu Shi, his tone was very harsh, unaware that his words pierced like knives into Zhuang Zi’ang’s heart.
Zhuang Zi’ang’s expression froze, his fists clenched tightly.
The pain in his heart made it almost impossible to breathe.
“Zhuang Zi’ang, don’t listen to him. He’s a single dog who doesn’t understand love at all,” Lin Mu Shi urged cautiously.
“No, he’s right,” Zhuang Zi’ang replied hoarsely.
His eyes were devoid of light.
Yes, if he was going to die, what was the point of involving her?
The deeper the love, the more painful it would become.
True love means considering the other person’s feelings.
He didn’t want to see Xiao Yudie sad anymore.
By noon, Zhuang Zi’ang abandoned the thought of going to the west campus.
He also resisted the urge to call or message Xiao Yudie.
If he couldn’t wait for her to come back this time, it would be a clean break.
Xiao Yudie, forget me and live happily!