Epilogue: Twelve Days of Pain

“Do mi xi la la la, do mi xi la la la, la do so fa, fa mi fa so, so mi so la la la la…”

The afternoon sun streamed through the window, casting light on the girl’s white shirt.

Her long, fair fingers danced gracefully over the strings of the guzheng.

The piece she played was called “Dream Butterfly,” older than she was.

Perhaps because it shared her name, she had always felt a deep connection to this piece, practicing it with extraordinary skill.

The music struck directly at the heart.

The lyrics were too painful to fully digest.

“When love breaks the heart, don’t blame anyone; it’s just because the encounter was too beautiful.

Even if tears flow and the wounds are deep, and the heart turns to ash, it doesn’t matter.

I break free from the cocoon to become a butterfly, wishing to fly with you; my greatest fear is that you’ll never return.”

……

As she played, the piece suddenly came to a halt.

Drops of blood fell from the girl’s nose, staining the guzheng strings red.

Su Yudie quickly grabbed a tissue from beside her, tightly plugging her nostrils, then frantically cleaned up the bloodstains on the floor.

If Grandma saw, she would surely be heartbroken.

In the adjacent room, Grandma Su leaned against the wall, tears streaming down her face.

She desperately tried to stifle her sobs, not wanting Xiao Yudie to notice her distress.

Soon, it would just be her, the old woman, alone in this cold house.

The guzheng would never play again.

After a long while, once Su Yudie’s bleeding had finally stopped, Grandma Su slowly opened the door, forcing a smile.

“Xiao Yudie, why did you stop playing?”

Su Yudie looked up, the metallic scent of blood still lingering in her nostrils.

She forced a smile in return, “I’m tired, I don’t want to play anymore.”

Grandma Su sat down next to her, “How long has it been since you went outside?”

“Twelve days,” Su Yudie replied without hesitation.

She didn’t need to think about it; she knew exactly how long it had been since parting with Zhuang Zi’ang.

Almost every moment, every second, she was reminiscing about the time they spent together.

It was precisely because her heart held someone that her music was so hauntingly beautiful.

“If you miss him, you should go see him again!” Grandma Su affectionately stroked Su Yudie’s head.

“No!” Su Yudie shook her head, “Grandma, I don’t want to see him; I just want to stay home with you.”

Grandma Su sighed, “I didn’t even mention who he is.”

Su Yudie froze for a moment, and her eyes turned red instantly.

Grandma Su pulled her into an embrace, feeling an unbearable pain in her heart.

She was only eighteen, at a vibrant age like a blooming flower.

Having not yet experienced life or tasted the sweetness of love, she was about to hastily say goodbye to this world.

Leaning against Grandma Su, Su Yudie suddenly whispered, “Grandma, will you accompany me to gather some mugwort? I want to see him one last time, to say a proper farewell, and then I’ll come back to stay with you until the end…”

As she spoke, her voice choked with emotion.

Grandma Su had once told her that when she was young, she had made green rice cakes for a young man.

That young man later became her husband.

Though she never had the chance to be with her big fool for a lifetime, she still wanted to express her feelings to him in those final moments.

The season for the tenderest mugwort had long passed.

The two spent a long time on the hillside in Qiushui Town, barely managing to gather a small handful.

The mountains were ablaze with fiery red azaleas, as if stained with blood.

Suddenly, Su Yudie pointed to a clearing, “Grandma, please bury me here when the time comes. I love the azaleas here; they look just like the ones from another place.”

Upon hearing this, Grandma Su could no longer suppress her long-restrained emotions.

Tears streamed down her face, following the wrinkles.

……

In the afternoon, Su Yudie returned. Before she even opened the door, she heard a heart-wrenching cry.

Her eyes were already swollen beyond recognition, yet the tears continued to flow endlessly.

“What happened? Did you see him?” Grandma Su exclaimed in surprise, standing up.

“Grandma, I didn’t go anywhere; I didn’t meet anyone…”

Su Yudie threw herself into her grandmother’s embrace, crying uncontrollably as tears poured down like rain.

As Grandma Su listened to her granddaughter’s despairing sobs, it felt as if her heart were shattering.

But aside from repeating comforting words, she felt powerless to help.

In her grandmother’s arms, Su Yudie cried until she nearly fainted.

With high hopes for this meeting, she had endured the torment of her illness to once again traverse time and space.

What awaited her was a devastating blow.

Twelve days of longing culminated in his callous indifference.

In her brief eighteen years of life, the last time she felt such despair was when her parents left.

But back then, she was too young to comprehend the depth of her sorrow compared to how she felt today.

It felt as if her soul had been pulled from her body.

That night, Xiao Yudie picked up her pen and wrote down the words she had spoken earlier in her “Dreaming of Butterflies” notebook.

“Big dummy, I will hate you for a lifetime, and I never want to see you again!”

Tears soaked the pages.

There is no greater sorrow than a heart that has died!

P.S.: I can no longer bear to listen to the piano version of “Dreaming of Butterfly,” but I recommend you give it a try.

Just try it quietly; don’t come back and thank me.