#102

The page that read ‘I can endure this kind of pain’ had a round water stain, as if it had been wet and then dried. Even though the game’s Goo Won wrote that he could endure it, he still cried. I couldn’t hide my bitter feelings as I ran my fingers over the crinkled paper. Instead of the smooth texture of the paper, I felt a slightly rough sensation at my fingertips.

[Once again, I returned to the past. Why? Why? I made Tartarus miserable as the setting wished, so why hasn’t it ended yet?]

[I hoped, but as expected, I couldn’t save Seohyun. Nothing had changed. I had to live through that hellish life again. What went wrong?]

[Once again, Cheon is dead. I had already given up on everything, so why hasn’t anything changed?]

[If I make them even more miserable, will something change?]

The words in the notebook, written by the game’s Goo Won, seemed to no longer feel guilt. I quickly turned the page. The words that appeared as the paper flipped were all about experiments and their results to end the repetition.

And the subject of these experiments was mostly Tartarus. The game’s Goo Won was treating Tartarus as if they were something less than human.

The person at the beginning of the notebook, who refused to make Tartarus miserable for unreasonable reasons, no longer existed. The person at the back of the notebook was now a cold, ruthless being, determined to make Tartarus even more miserable to achieve what he wanted.

……If I went through what this person did, would I end up like this?

I asked myself this question, but I couldn’t quickly find an answer. I couldn’t say it would be the same or that it wouldn’t be.

The essence of him and me was the same. We were born from the same parents, had the same appearance, went through similar experiences, and grew up with similar personalities. He was him, and I was me, yet we were both the same. We had a strange relationship of both others and the same person. To deny this would be to deny the truth, but at this moment, I wanted to deny it so badly.

Because if I accepted that the game’s Goo Won was me, it felt like I would declare that I could become just like this person.

Flipping the pages indifferently, I found myself only one page away from the last.

It was probably going to be the same as everything else. Thinking this, I glanced at the notebook without much expectation, but what I saw written there was completely different from what I had imagined.

[I have found a way to end everything. To make it happen, I need the help of another ‘me.’]

The words written on the pure white paper gave me an eerie feeling.

Another ‘me’ must refer to the ‘me’ here, right? The moment I thought that, a sudden certainty appeared in my mind.

It was the game’s Goo Won.

The one who brought me here was no one else but the game’s Goo Won, that person.

I don’t know how he brought me here. But it was definitely him who brought me. And, like this, he led me to the destination he wanted by throwing clues one by one.

I was certain of that, and at the same time, I began to think about what kind of help the game’s Goo Won wanted from me.

A way to end everything. And the help to execute it.

Even at a glance, I had a feeling it wouldn’t be something easy. I raised the hand that was holding the notebook and absentmindedly stroked my chin.

Honestly, if I could end his pain, I would do just about anything. He had suffered alone for such a long time, and I felt pity for him. Of course, that didn’t mean I could forgive what the game’s Goo Won had done to Tartarus, but after knowing how it came to that point, I couldn’t just blindly blame him.

With my complicated feelings, I let out a deep, heavy sigh that seemed to come from deep within my stomach. Then, I tried to put the notebook back into the metal box, covering it, but I felt a sharp sensation under my palm.

“What is this?”

Was there a sharp part on the notebook?

With a puzzled expression, I turned the notebook around and examined it, and I noticed a piece of paper slightly sticking out from inside the cover. It seemed like my palm had brushed against that paper. To check what the paper was, I opened the notebook cover to separate the inner pages and the cover. Then, a folded piece of paper fell out and landed below.

“This isn’t a treasure hunt……”

Picking up the paper that seemed to have been hidden by the game’s Goo Won, I let out a hollow laugh. Just like the writing in the envelope yesterday, and this paper now, if he really wanted me to find them, why hide them like this? He didn’t need to hide them if he wanted me to discover them. Why go to the trouble of hiding it so well, as if he didn’t want me to find them?

As I glanced down at the paper in my hand, I shook my head slightly and cleared my thoughts from my mind. I then carefully examined the paper I was holding. Judging by the thickness of the fold, it didn’t seem to be just one sheet, but perhaps two?

When I unfolded it, I found, as I expected, that there were two sheets of paper stacked together. I slowly began reading the first sheet of paper.

[You must have a lot of questions. There must be many things you don’t understand. You must have wondered why this is happening to you. I felt the same way.]

The paper inside the cover was a letter. A letter from the game’s Goo Won to me.

[If you’re reading this, I assume you’ve already looked through the notebook. You probably know enough about my situation. So, I’ll get straight to the point. I need your help to end everything. I want you to help me.]

At Goo Won’s request for help, I found myself nodding without realizing it, and continued reading the letter. However, as I looked at the next part, I had no choice but to stiffen my body.

[Make them miserable. Once you clear the game objective, the game will naturally end.]

Make them miserable? And then the game will end? But the notebook clearly said that no matter how miserable he made Tartarus, the return to the past wouldn’t stop, right? I urgently read the next line, as if interrogating the game’s Goo Won.

[You must be wondering why I’m saying something different from what’s written in the notebook. Honestly, I can’t explain it perfectly either. All I know is that I couldn’t end it because I am a character in the game, but you, as a player in the real world, can end it. So please, I beg you. End this damn game.]

It seemed that the game’s Goo Won had anticipated my doubts, as he had already explained the reasoning in the letter. However, even with the explanation, I couldn’t easily bring myself to agree to help him.

A world where someone has to become miserable for everything to end…… Isn’t that too cruel? What has Tartarus done to deserve such a fate?

I knew the game’s Goo Won had suffered up until now. After reading the words he just wrote, there was no way I could not know. And, as I said earlier, I felt pity for him in his situation, especially since he had been powerless to do anything about it.

But to make someone else miserable in order to escape his own difficult situation—especially when he was asking me, another person with the same root, to help—was something I couldn’t accept. I couldn’t even imagine making those children miserable with my own hands.

I shook my head, rejecting the impossible request of the game’s Goo Won. No matter how desperately he begged, it was a request I could never fulfill.

With a deep sigh of frustration, I flipped to the next letter. I had already decided in my heart that I couldn’t grant his request, but I still felt like I should read the rest of what he had written.

[Even if I say this, you probably won’t grant my request.]

……That hit the mark immediately. I blinked in surprise at the blunt statement written on the next page.

[I know you. You’re not the kind of person who would make someone unhappy just because it’s what’s expected of you. Just like me from the past. Let me tell you something important. I always lived until the winter of my 30th year, and then I’d return to the spring when I was 25. It couldn’t be helped. I always died around that time.]

I shuddered at the grim content written in neat handwriting.

[It seems the playtime allowed for me as a game character is exactly that much. Whether I clear the game or not doesn’t matter. When the set date comes, I die. And then I return to the past again. As a game character, I just get reset, but what will happen to you, the real player? Will you reset and go back to the past like me? Or will you simply die? I don’t know. 

What I do know is that the world will end only if the game is cleared, and only then will you be able to return to the real world. From what I know, you’re not someone who particularly likes adventure. In a situation where you don’t know what will happen, can you really gamble your life for the children you’ve only known for two months? Do they really deserve that from you? I hope you make a smart choice.]