#25

I had no idea how I was supposed to react. Every single word coming out of Nam Yisol’s mouth was shocking. While I was momentarily at a loss for words and remained silent, Nam Yisol, who had been watching my expression, cautiously opened his mouth.

“But, sir…… I know that saying this in a situation like this is shameless, but I just can’t not say it…… The others don’t know anything about this. This is something I did entirely on my own. I’m not lying. It’s the truth. So please, if you’re going to be angry, direct it only at me, okay?”

“……”

“I don’t want the others to get on your bad side because of what I did…… I know it’s selfish, and I’m really sorry. I truly am.”

Nam Yisol, pleading with me desperately, looked incredibly earnest. He was clinging to me, begging for mercy with everything he had.

“……If you’re saying that, then why did you do something like this?”

“I’m sorry. Honestly, I never imagined you would actually refuse. I didn’t even think about what I would do if you did. But once you rejected me, I suddenly realized that because of my actions, the others might end up on your bad side too. And that was just…… terrifying.”

“……”

“I was wrong. I’m really sorry. You can do whatever you want to me. I deserve to be punished for what I did. But the others, they really don’t know anything. If they had known what I was planning, they would have stopped me.”

In Nam Yisol’s words, thick with anxiety, I sensed an undeniable immaturity. But I also felt the warmth of his deep affection for the members of Tartarus.

Nam Yisol, who had tried to protect his loved ones through clumsy and misguided means. Reckless, foolish, and still just an inexperienced child.

……It’s a sight I’ve seen so many times before.

“President, please……”

“Yisol-ssi.”

“Y-Yes?”

“Why do you go this far for the other members?”

At my sudden question, Nam Yisol widened his eyes in confusion.

“To be honest, think about it. In a world where even blood relatives betray each other when things go wrong, do you really need to go this far for others?”

“They’re not ‘others’. They’re my family. They’re the most precious people in the world to me.”

“So for the sake of those precious people, you tried to do something that neither you nor I wanted?”

“……I’m sorry.”

Perhaps because he felt that I was reprimanding him, Nam Yisol’s face visibly darkened. He had already looked dispirited, but now he seemed even more dejected, and it was hard not to feel sorry for him.

“If you were the kind of person who wanted something like this, I figured it would be better if I was the only one involved. Like I said, I’m the least talented among the members of Tartarus, the others have much brighter futures than I do, and, and……”

“And?”

“……And I’m the older brother……”

After much hesitation, Nam Yisol finally voiced his thoughts, and I couldn’t help but let out a soft, affectionate smile. Seeing me suddenly smile, Nam Yisol’s eyes widened in shock.

“You’re a kind, caring, and loving older brother…… but a foolish one, Yisol-ssi. You really remind me of someone.”

“……Huh?”

“I was once like that too. When I was a little younger than you are now. Back then, I was cornered with no way out, and even in that situation, I had a younger sister to protect. So I was about to make a very bad decision. At the time, I truly believed it was the only way, the best way. I thought it was the only way to keep my sister safe. Of course, it was a completely ridiculous misconception.”

As I recalled those now-distant days, I lowered my gaze. That was when I noticed Nam Yisol’s hands, still clenched tightly in his lap.

“My sister cried a lot while stopping me back then. Normally, my sister wasn’t the type to cry easily—always stayed composed no matter what. But that day, she cried so much. She asked if I really thought she’d be happy about it. If I thought she could just go on laughing and living normally after something happened to me. She told me to stop deluding myself. That if anything happened to me, no matter how much she tried, she’d never truly be able to live without guilt.

And only then did I realize how wrong I had been. Only after making my beloved sister cry so much did I finally understand that my actions, which I thought were for her sake, were actually causing her even more pain.”

“……”

“Yisol-ssi, what about you? If your younger members found out about your choice, how do you think they would feel? Would they be happy that their older brother thought of them like this? Would they be grateful?”

There was no response to my gentle question. But I knew. In Nam Yisol’s mind, the answer had already formed: ‘No’.

“No. They would be heartbroken. Deeply, terribly heartbroken. Because just as you love them so much, they must love you just as much. And the more they love you, the more painful and devastating it would be.”

“……”

“I understand how much you love your younger members, Yisol-ssi. But I believe that when you truly love someone, instead of sacrificing yourself for them, you should find a way to be happy together. So don’t ever do something like this again. What you did today was wrong. Wrong for me. Wrong for you. And wrong for the younger ones you love so much.”

“I- I’m sorry…… I’m so sorry……”

Tears spilled from Nam Yisol’s eyes as he choked out his words.

“I was wrong. I won’t do it again. I really didn’t know…… I didn’t know they would take it that way. I just, I just didn’t want them to be hurt anymore…… That’s all……”

Nam Yisol sobbed uncontrollably. Over and over, he apologized in his tear-filled voice. And surely, his apologies reached the Tartarus members, who had been quietly making their presence known from their rooms since earlier, as if to let him know that they were listening and ready to step out at any moment.

I gently pulled Nam Yisol into my arms and patted his back as he struggled to breathe through his sobs.

The night slowly passed, filled with the sorrow of Nam Yisol, who only wanted to protect those he loved but had chosen the wrong way to do it, and the quiet presence of the Tartarus members, who had made it clear, in their own way, that they would never let him go down that path alone.

***

After comforting Nam Yisol in his embrace as he cried, Goo Won only returned to his room after reassuring him at least ten times that everything was okay. The sound of a door closing echoed from the first floor, and not long after, the doors of Jung Hosu, Yoo Euiseo, Lee Gaon, and Lee Daon quietly creaked open.

“You were all definitely asleep earlier. Did the noise wake you up?”

“With all that crying, how could we not wake up?”

“Sorry.”

“Your eyes are swollen like a goldfish’s. Here, cover them. It’s an eyesore.”

With those words, Yoo Euiseo tossed a damp towel at Nam Yisol. Catching it with ease, Nam Yisol placed the towel over his puffy eyes.

“You idiot.”

“Daon, saying that will hurt his feelings.”

“What’s wrong with calling an idiot an idiot?”

Despite Lee Daon’s sharp remark, Nam Yisol grinned cheekily. Seeing his face covered with a wide smile, Lee Daon clicked his tongue and abruptly turned his head away.

“Hyung, are you okay? Why did you even do something like that?”

“Yeah, seriously. Why did I do that? I should’ve just trusted the president when he asked me to. Instead, I ended up putting him in a terrible situation……”

Nam Yisol pressed the damp towel firmly against his eyes. Honestly, when he first transferred to Goo Won Entertainment, he thought there was no longer any place left for him to retreat. He believed that, in the end, he wouldn’t be able to protect himself.

He couldn’t help but think that way.

“He was looking at us strangely, wasn’t he?”

At the calm voice coming from nearby, Nam Yisol removed the towel from his eyes and turned toward the speaker. His swollen eyes met the lifeless, dark gaze of Jung Hosu in midair.

“……Yeah. He definitely was.”

Nam Yisol affirmed Jung Hosu’s words as memories from a few months ago resurfaced.

That was the day Tartarus had been dragged to some party by President Lee Yongjun. A party so extravagant that even Nam Yisol, who had seen his fair share of glitz and luxury in the entertainment industry, found himself wide-eyed in astonishment. And that was the first time he saw Goo Won.

Not that they had exchanged greetings. They hadn’t even spoken. But in that grand ballroom, Goo Won had captured the attention of everyone present, and Nam Yisol had instinctively found himself drawn to him as well.

The first thought that popped into Nam Yisol’s head upon seeing Goo Won was curiosity.

So, there are people in this world who look like that……

With a blank expression, Nam Yisol had simply watched Goo Won converse with the people gathered around him.

How should he put it? He was an incredibly beautiful person. Not just handsome—somehow, the word ‘beautiful’ came to mind first. As he observed Goo Won’s sharply defined eyebrows, Nam Yisol idly thought that while the most handsome person he had ever seen was Jung Hosu, the most beautiful person was undoubtedly this man.

And then, suddenly, Goo Won turned his head and locked eyes with him.