◎ Obsession. ◎

When Shi Li realized this, she did not have time to be shocked.

The moment she touched the girl’s skin, an earth-shattering headache overwhelmed her, and countless memory fragments surged into her mind like a tide, competing and rushing in uncontrollably—

It was in the cold, damp dormitory in late autumn.

Shortly after the start of junior year, the girl counted the few remaining coins on her body and frowned, scribbling in her notebook:

“Looks like I have to take another job. I just don’t know if junior year courses will be difficult or if I can manage both. I didn’t go home during summer vacation, just kept working part-time. I thought I would miss home a lot, but I didn’t at all. Staying in Beilin seems quite okay.”

“This city is so big, so big. When will I have my own home?”

“But recently, I’ve had a bit of luck. I met a really nice person. I broke his laptop, but he didn’t ask me to pay, and instead comforted me. Also, he is very good looking, though a bit cold.”

“I dreamed of him last night and woke up laughing. Feels a little strange. Could it be… love at first sight?”

…

It was in the spacious library in Lin University.

The boy took a warm soy milk from the girl’s hand, inserted a straw, and sipped. His usually cold eyes softened for a moment at the scent.

The girl sat beside him, cupping her chin with both hands, eyes sparkling as she asked, “How is it? Good? It’s from the new breakfast shop at the school gate. Guess how much? Only one yuan fifty! There’s even soybean pulp inside.”

The boy answered with a hum, lifting his eyes from the screen full of code, his gaze falling on the girl’s smug smile after getting a good deal.

His Adam’s apple bobbed, and a faint flutter flickered in his clear, beautiful eyes.

“Shi Li,” he suddenly asked, “Do you want to be with me?”

The girl froze instantly. Her heart pounded wildly, her cheeks flushed bright red. She played dumb, looking aside: “…Ah?”

The boy awkwardly brushed his bangs aside and looked away: “I mean, would you be my girlfriend?”

He said it clearly and directly, no room for her to pretend.

“…Oh, I agree.”

Before the question finished, she answered quickly. The boy was stunned. His clear, beautiful eyes reflected the girl’s shining smile.

On her face was a triumphant look, like she had the upper hand.

“Chen Du, from today on, you are my boyfriend. You chased me, so you can’t back out.”

…

It was on the tree-lined path at the center of campus.

The boy was thinking about a code bug, walking fast ahead. Suddenly realizing, he turned back to see the girl, backpack on, pouting, left far behind.

“Chen Du, you didn’t wait for me again! Why do you walk so fast? Don’t you know my legs are shorter than yours?”

The boy stopped, smiled apologetically, his cold, clear eyes flowing. He waited in place.

But the girl did not comply. She slowed her pace, forcing him to wait.

In the gentle evening breeze, under the warm yellow streetlights, the boy tilted his head helplessly, suddenly opened his arms, and called low, “Come here.”

“Yay!”

The girl showed a satisfied smile and sped up from far away like a little cannonball, rushing into his arms.

The boy was pushed back one step by her, but still caught her steadily. Her forehead bumped his collarbone, and they both hissed in pain.

“If you walk so fast next time, I’ll punish you by making you carry me.”

“…Okay.”

…

It was a vast snowy night in December that year.

The day after the girl’s birthday was the day she defined as his birthday.

She bought a pretty cake with his name on it and waited downstairs at his dorm. But he stood her up.

The girl couldn’t reach him by phone and had no news. Helpless, she carried the cake back to the dorm and buried herself in the quilt.

Outside the dorm window, heavy snow quietly fell over Beilin, covering everything silently.

The girl was full of disappointment and worry, unable to sleep, unable to say out loud—worried about his safety, disappointed by his absence.

At one o’clock in the morning, her phone suddenly rang under the quilt. A low hoarse voice entered her ear.

“Shi Li, I’m downstairs at your dorm. Can you come down?”

The girl, still in pajamas, only had time to wrap herself in a long down coat. Gasping, she ran down from the dormitory and hurried into his arms.

“Chen Du, where did you go?”

His shoulders were covered with snow. He held her with one hand and spun in the snow, breathing warm air to warm her hands.

The girl’s bare ankles were red from the cold. Her feet in slippers stepped on his shoes. Finally, she noticed his oddness.

Usually cold and quiet, but now his eyes were bright, emotions and joy almost overflowing.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” she asked.

The wind howled in her ears. He held her close, his warm lips almost touching her ear.

“Shi Li, I found my sister. Since she was adopted at five, I have always wanted to find her but had no news. Yesterday, she contacted me. She’s in the next city, just graduated last year, now an intern doctor. She’s doing well…”

His emotion was deeper than ever. His face buried in her neck, tears fell into her collar, burning and making her shiver softly.

The girl held him tightly, tears flowing uncontrollably. Her heart trembled with his, full of joy.

She felt her heart melting, warm and soft, softer than ever before…

“That’s great, Chen Du, so great…” She cried incoherently, “I’m so happy, happy for you. Now you have family, besides me, there’s someone else in the world who loves you.”

“This is truly the best birthday gift,” the girl carefully kissed his eyebrow. “Chen Du, happy birthday.”

He didn’t respond to her words. Instead, he held her cheeks and solemnly pecked her lips.

“Shi Li,” in the boy’s eyes was the boundless desolation of a snowy night and her flushed cheeks. He curved his lips and, eyes red, rested his forehead against hers. “I love you.”

This was the first time he had ever said those words.

Later, the girl found out that his sister’s matters hadn’t been resolved yet. He had traveled a long way back just to share it with her first and to keep their appointment.

After speaking with her, he still had to take the night bus back.

At 3 a.m., the girl accompanied him to the return coach. With thirty minutes left before departure, she suddenly remembered she had forgotten to bring the cake. It was too late to return to the dormitory to get it.

“Chen Du, wait for me.”

The girl, panting, ran to a 24-hour convenience store nearby and bought a slice of cheesecake.

There was no ribbon, no “Happy Birthday” written on it, and no candle. But she sang the birthday song to him. The two of them, heads leaned together, laughed and joked as they split the tiny cake.

Before boarding, the boy hugged her. The wind stirred up the vehicle exhaust. In his eyes was the flickering light of the bus station.

“Shi Li, I will always remember this. Today is my birthday. Thank you.”

…

It was in the shaky pickup truck. The girl sat in the passenger seat, bumping up and down, looking back frequently in worry, hoping her princess bed wouldn’t fall apart from the jostling.

She pressed her dizzy temples and grumbled, “Chen Du, do you even know how to drive? I’m getting dizzy from all this bumping.”

The tires rolled over potholes in the concrete road. The vehicle jolted violently again.

“Don’t worry,” the boy looked straight ahead. Though inexperienced, he held the steering wheel steadily. “Your bed won’t get damaged.”

“Then be careful.”

The girl was still anxious. She didn’t dare say that this was the first bed she had ever picked out by herself.

The princess bed from her childhood dreams.

Outside the window was the vast wilderness of the suburbs. The summer wind poured in through the half-open window, blowing her bangs into a mess.

The boy didn’t look at her. Amid the bumpy ride, he suddenly said, “Shi Li, in the future, whatever you want, you’ll have. No more settling. I promise you.”

His seriousness stunned the girl. After a moment, she turned uncomfortably to look out the window, hiding the moisture in her eyes from him.

“Then I want a castle. Will you build me one?”

She disguised it as a joke.

“Yes. I’ll build it for you.”

He answered seriously.

…

It was the summer of graduation, inside a hot and crowded subway. The boy accompanied the girl to her interview.

The crowd stretched endlessly. The entire subway car was like an exhausted beast, crawling through the dark tunnel. At a turn, the girl nearly fell into the mass of people. The suffocating air made it hard to breathe.

The boy’s slender arm wrapped tightly around her waist and turned with her. His cool T-shirt pressed against her cheek. His solid chest enclosed her in a small space.

“Hold on to me.”

“Okay.”

She looked up. What she saw was his sharp Adam’s apple.

…

It was a late night of heavy rain.

On the desk, the lamp glowed warm yellow. The boxed meal was already cold. The computer buzzed. Under the faint blue light, the boy was still working overtime.

Countless lines of code, debugging, streams of input data…

The girl made a face behind him and quietly placed a cup of water on the table. Just as she turned to leave, her wrist was suddenly grabbed. A gentle force pulled her back. She cried out in surprise, the world spinning.

The next moment, she fell into a burning embrace. He took off his glasses, shut down the computer. All his frustration melted into a passionate, irresistible kiss…

“Shi Li, let me kiss you for a bit,” his lips brushed her hairline as he mumbled vaguely, “just a moment, I’m a little tired.”

The girl blushed. Her arrogance completely disappeared.

“Then hurry up… I need to study too.”

…

It was countless days and nights in Beilin—spring, summer, autumn, winter; morning and dusk. In a big city, the two of them.

There were no candlelit dinners, no brilliant fireworks. They were each busy, living ordinary and simple lives. But they were always together.

Two people who met by chance became each other’s family in this city.

The most beloved person.

…

And finally, the Qixi Festival that year, that cold, cold night.

The girl made a table full of dishes, but the boy didn’t bring flowers home.

Under the grip of pride, she didn’t say anything, but bitter words came spilling out uncontrollably, each one harsher than the last.

The boy’s face turned grim. He sat at the table and let her vent, not saying a word, just staring out the window.

The heavy night seemed to swallow people whole.

Seeing him so calm, the girl’s grievances and pain overwhelmed her like a tsunami, drowning her reason.

Out of spite, she spoke more and more cruelly, as if to provoke him, to test whether he cared.

“Chen Du, I really think this life is awful. What about you? Is this the life you wanted?”

He remained silent. She panicked, her heart bleeding, but couldn’t stop.

“You still won’t speak! You’re proud, and so am I. People like us should never have gotten together in the first place. There were so many people chasing me back then. I just chose the wrong one!”

As she expected, this line was ruthless enough. It hit him hard, almost destroyed him.

The boy lifted his head, eyes locked on hers. The muscles on his cheeks twitched. Fury blazed in his eyes.

“Shi Li, I dare you to say that again.”

The girl had never seen him like this. She was scared, but couldn’t bring herself to back down.

“I’ll say it a hundred times.”

She sneered, pointed to the door, and shouted hoarsely, “Get out.”

And just like she wanted, the boy left. Slammed the door and left—decisive and firm.

Her tightly held emotions finally collapsed. She sat by the bed, sobbing uncontrollably, both angry at herself for the hurtful words and angry at him.

Angry he didn’t even look back.

Angry he couldn’t tolerate her a little more. She had just had a hard day. Maybe she’d be fine after a night’s sleep.

Angry that he left her so easily. Abandoned her.

She cried for an hour. Hurt for an hour. Thought their relationship was over. Thought he didn’t want her anymore. Then the sound of the door unlocking suddenly echoed.

The girl froze. When she came to her senses, she ran barefoot out of the bedroom.

Outside the half-open door stood the boy, travel-worn and handsome.

—In his arms was a huge bouquet of blazing red roses.

Too many to count. Bold and eye-catching. Beautiful to the point of heartbreak.

Tears filled the girl’s eyes. She raised her hand to cover her mouth, crying as she watched him stride in.

The door closed behind him in the wind. He handed her the bouquet and stretched out his arms, hugging her with the flowers.

“My fault. I forgot because I was too busy. I should have remembered earlier. I didn’t notice your feelings.”

His voice softened as he asked for her forgiveness. “Forgive me, please? I was sincere. Most flower shops are closed at night. I had to run all the way to the west side of the city to buy these.”

“Chen Du… Chen Du…” the girl sobbed uncontrollably, clutching the bouquet tightly, choking as she tried to explain, “Please forgive me too. Everything I said earlier was nonsense. My brain was messed up. Don’t take it seriously. Chen Du, I’ve liked you for so long. I only like you. You’re the only one I have. Please don’t leave me… If you leave, I’ll have nothing left…”

She had known all along. He was the only one she had in this world.

“I promise you. No matter what happens, I will never leave you.”

The boy stroked her hair, holding her tightly. He suddenly lowered his head and kissed her lips. “Happy Qixi Festival. When I become a full-time employee, let’s get married.”

The girl, through her tears, smiled and stood on tiptoe to kiss him back. “Okay. Let’s get married.”

The next day, the boy went to another city for a business trip. It was the final project before his promotion. He would be gone for two months.

Before leaving, he arranged everything at home, repeatedly telling the girl to take care of herself and wait for his return.

Unfortunately, the girl couldn’t do it.

In those two months, she became busier and busier. Studying. Working part-time. So busy she forgot to eat, to drink water, to sleep well.

—He said they would get married. He said he would work hard to give her a good life. So she couldn’t slack off either. She had to work hard too.

That was what she thought. But she overdid it.

Until that early autumn night, after several days of staying up late.

A sudden signal from her heart. A sharp pain. Then her body collapsed completely.

No matter how she breathed, she felt suffocated. Her mind grew blurry. The girl vaguely realized she might be dying from exhaustion.

“Ah, I guess I don’t need to take the exam anymore. Don’t have to finish the article due tomorrow either.”

“I live here alone. No friends. Chen Du is away. My parents rarely contact me… Will my body not be discovered until the landlord comes to ask for rent half a month later? That would really scare him.”

But none of that mattered anymore.

At the very end, the girl just felt immense sorrow. Pain beyond words.

She deeply regretted her recklessness and stubbornness. She desperately missed one person.

In her short life of over twenty years—tiring, numb, ordinary, rough, decayed, and sorrowful—he was the most precious thing.

He was the only light in her life.

In the end, her fading consciousness held on to just one thought that wouldn’t go away—

“If our relationship had just been average, it would have been better.”

“If he hadn’t loved me so much, it would have been better.”

“If that day, he had really left. If he never came back. If we broke up—”

“Then would Chen Du not be so sad?”

…

In the years that followed, the girl’s soul kept remembering these things

—That was the distorted story, filled with hope, when she was on the brink of death.

And those moments that mattered most in her life, those fragments full of warmth and passion, she didn’t take them with her.

They stayed inside her body.

They used all their strength to drag her back, to pull her, not letting her walk alone into that point of no return.

They screamed hoarsely at her—

“Come back quickly, save yourself, save Chen Du.”

“Chen Du seems to be sick.”

“Chen Du wants to give up.”

“We beg you, save Chen Du.”

–

“But I don’t have any obsession, how do I complete this?”

“You do.”

They were the girl’s obsession.