Chapter 10 Heart Dead

In the blink of an eye, Jian Meng walked out of the private room, and Lin Chenyang hurriedly followed.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Jian Meng was pulled back, and when she turned around, her eyes were red-rimmed, but she held back the tears.

“Is your sister Lin Qing?”

In fact, she already knew the answer to everything, but Jian Meng still asked. She felt like everything that had happened so far was like a dream.

This dream started from the first time she discovered Ji Jing’an affair, and she couldn’t wake up from it.

Lin Chenyang probably already guessed what was going on. He used to think that the insincere and cunning fox who married his sister turned out to be Jian Meng’s lover…

It turned out that someone would really fall in love with that kind of person.

It turned out that those who loved him would be so pitiful.

Did his sister know he had a wife?

She should know… his sister was so smart, how could she marry someone in confusion?

But in this transaction, no one would get hurt, everyone would benefit.

Except… Jian Meng.

Lin Chenyang took off his coat and wrapped it around Jian Meng. He knew that at this moment, Jian Meng couldn’t casually appear in public places, so he quickly took her to the car.

“I’m sorry, I apologize to you on behalf of my sister.”

“What are you apologizing to me for?” Jian Meng suddenly smiled, her eyes were red, tears welled up in her eyes, and at this moment, the pent-up emotions couldn’t be held back anymore.

“Perhaps, if I hadn’t been in Ji Jing’an life from the beginning, if I hadn’t fallen in love with Ji Jing’an, if we had never met, he wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble hiding it from me… I knew he was getting married a long time ago, but I thought he no longer loved me, so let him get married… But when I really saw him standing on the stage in a suit, looking at your sister with eyes full of light, I realized how much my heart hurt. All my rationality, in the end, was in vain.”

Lin Chenyang’s heart suddenly ached.

Why would Jian Meng and Ji Jing’an, one devoted and the other indifferent, be together?

Later, Jian Meng said a lot, and Lin Chenyang drove aimlessly in the city, listening to Jian Meng’s disjointed narrative, which resembled the prose he learned in high school.

His sister kept calling and messaging him, just asking why he hadn’t come to the wedding. Irritated, he turned off his phone.

In fact, Jian Meng didn’t talk for long. Lin Chenyang glanced back at Jian Meng, who had fallen asleep. Her eyes were red and still trembling, tears hanging on her eyelashes, her eyebrows slightly furrowed, showing signs of restless sleep. Lin Chenyang’s expression darkened.

Jian Meng was so different from what he had imagined. In fact, her existence in his heart was even more contradictory, fragile yet strong, sensitive yet tolerant, weak yet stubborn.

Lin Chenyang’s playful and smiling personality was often to cater to those smooth-talking people. When he first met Jian Meng, he thought she was a naive and foolish woman, pitied her a bit, but later, when she was diagnosed with a terminal illness like his mother, pity turned into empathy.

He wondered if a woman like her could still be saved?

He began to take care of the woman in a somewhat vague manner, doing intimate things around her, helping her comb her hair, peeling shrimp for her, and playing games with her… Inside, he himself couldn’t tell how much of it was real or fake; he just wanted to be a bit closer to her.

Since he was a child, Lin Chenyang enjoyed observing adults in groups. As he grew up, he liked to tease and provoke those who pretended to be reserved, watching them drop their facades and reveal their true selves.

But Jian Meng was different from anyone he had encountered.

Lin Chenyang drove Jian Meng back to the hospital. He carefully picked up the sleeping Jian Meng and heard her soft whimpers in her sleep, which made him frown slightly.

He gently placed her on the hospital bed and observed her closely for a while before leaving, noticing her soft eyes and rosy lips, unable to resist touching them.

She looked like a sickly little kitten.

—

When Jian Meng woke up, it was already the afternoon of the next day. As she regained consciousness, her first thought was to go home.

The doctor hadn’t told her much about her condition, but Gu Chuan and Lin Chenyang had been trying to conceal it. Yet Jian Meng could sense that the chances of recovery were very low.

So she wanted to go home.

Lin Chenyang asked her if it was necessary to return to that home.

Jian Meng replied, “Not that home.”

Lin Chenyang didn’t understand; there were many things between Jian Meng and Ji Jing’an that he didn’t know.

Jian Meng had never told him and seemed unwilling to do so.

He could only take Jian Meng back. Before he left, he reminded her to take her medication.

As soon as Jian Meng opened the door, the cold air swept in, and the person inside heard the noise and came out of the kitchen with a spatula in hand.

“Back already?”

Jian Meng paused for a moment; Ji Jing’an was cooking.

“You’re back?”

Jian Meng smiled faintly and nodded.

She had returned.

He had returned.

But they could never go back.

Ji Jing’an felt guilty. He didn’t know if it was just his imagination, but Jian Meng looked much weaker and paler, and her eyes…

They used to be so full of light when they looked at him…

Ji Jing’an didn’t know how to cook much, but he was best at making fried rice, which he had learned while they were renting a place together, so that’s what they had for this meal.

“Why have you gotten so thin? I’ll take you to the hospital tomorrow.”

“You don’t…”

—

“…to go on a honeymoon?”

Ji Jing’an’s hand, which was serving rice, paused. He looked at Jian Meng, who was seriously asking him with wide-open eyes. A pang of anxiety shot through Ji Jing’an’s heart, and he hurriedly explained.

“What honeymoon? It’s not a real wedding. After this is over, I’ll plan a proper wedding with you, and then we can go on a honeymoon.”

After Ji Jing’an finished speaking, he thought Jian Meng would respond like before, smiling happily at his promise.

But Jian Meng merely continued to look at him. After a moment, she withdrew her gaze and quietly ate her meal.

“Jian Meng, do you… hate me?”

Jian Meng didn’t raise her head; she just shook it.

“Just smile at me, okay? I haven’t seen you smile in a long time.” Ji Jing’an recalled something; in his memory, Jian Meng had mostly been crying over the years.

Jian Meng replied, “Is that so? Last time, you said you’d take me on a trip. I was very happy and smiled for a long time.”

People can’t exhaust all their expectations and refuse to say goodbye. The beauty and romance of their first meeting were matched by the disappointment and hurt of parting.

Ji Jing’an forced a wry, somewhat bitter smile: “Did I… forget?”

“No, you never even looked at it.” Jian Meng said softly.

Ji Jing’an wasn’t a fool. If he cared about someone, he could sense even the slightest thing wrong with them, especially Jian Meng’s sudden emotional distance.

He felt awkward and uneasy. “Mengmeng, I know you hate me… how could you not? But you should say it out loud; don’t keep it inside. You look terrible, and I’m very worried. I’m… scared.”

Jian Meng looked up at him and asked, “Why should I hate you? I don’t hate you; I hate my past self.”

Ji Jing’an was taken aback. In the past… it was he who told Jian Meng that as long as she was with him, she would always be happy, that he would give her a wedding…

Jian Meng averted her gaze, not wanting to look at his heavy expression any longer. She finished the last bite of rice in her bowl, stood up from the table, and said, “Then I’ll head upstairs first.”

After saying that, she stepped onto the stairs, but as soon as she took a step, Ji Jing’an pulled her into his arms.

“Ji Jing’an, let go of me!” Jian Meng said angrily.

Ji Jing’an suddenly wrapped his arms around Jian Meng from behind.

“Mengmeng, you have to believe that I love you… I’m a businessman, but I haven’t given up my love for you for the sake of business. I just sacrificed a little bit…”

“Ji Jing’an.” Jian Meng interrupted him, “There’s nothing left between us, not even a little.”

Ji Jing’an felt as if he had been struck hard. He wanted to say something, but Jian Meng continued, “If this is out of guilt, you don’t need to feel that way because there’s nothing to forgive between us. If you’re acting like this just because you temporarily can’t find someone like Vivian, then don’t bother. I can’t compare to her, so may I ask, what’s your reason for doing this?”

“What?”

“Is it because you think I’m still good, that I’m more obedient, and you’re willing to take the time to coax me?”

Ji Jing’an’s pupils trembled. Vivian… “You already know?”

Jian Meng didn’t answer. There was nothing worth arguing over; she hadn’t come back for this; she was there to leave.

She had lived her whole life, and while the first half had been smooth sailing, everything had turned to pain and torment since meeting Ji Jing’an.

She didn’t want her remaining days to be like this anymore.