Chapter 16

As an actress, Zheng Linlin in real life is even more slender than her on-screen persona. She’s about 168 cm tall and weighs less than 90 pounds, with wrists so delicate they seem as though they could snap like a willow branch with the slightest bend.

— A young woman like this could never have a three- or four-year-old child sitting on her shoulders.

The little girl looked adorably cute, chubby with two small braids, and when she smiled, a pair of dimples appeared. She was wearing a beautiful cherry-patterned dress, her slender arms wrapped around Zheng Linlin’s head, occasionally playfully tugging at her hair.

If it weren’t for the fact that the child’s eyes were pitch black, with no hint of white, Ling Chen and He Jinchao would never have realized that the little girl was a ghost.

“He Jinchao, did you notice anything unusual about Zheng Linlin when you filmed with her?” Ling Chen asked cautiously.

He Jinchao thought for a moment before shaking his head. “No. I didn’t have much screen time with her, and we didn’t have any interaction before either. I only saw her once at the company’s year-end party. As far as I remember, there was nothing special about her.”

Back then, He Jinchao was still alive and had no ability to see ghosts, so he couldn’t judge if the little ghost had attached herself to Zheng Linlin early on.

They discussed for a while, but it was like chasing after a headless fly, with no clear results. The little ghost was the first one they had encountered (other than He Jinchao), so they both felt uneasy and worried about complications.

“We shouldn’t waste any more time. Let’s seek help from outside,” He Jinchao decided decisively. “Let’s ask Hu Yizhi, he’s seen many ghosts and should have an answer.”

Ling Chen agreed. Although Hu Yizhi was a third-rate exorcist, a third-rate exorcist might still have top-tier methods to deal with ghosts.

—–

That night, when the colleagues had left, Ling Chen took out his phone and sent a message to Hu Yizhi.

@00: Great exorcist, are you there?

After sending the message, the input bar at the top blinked for a while, and then several lines slowly appeared.

@Fox Yizhi: Ah no (mimicking finger gesture… Wah, Da Xi is a bit busy right now…

@Fox Yizhi: Can we talk about it tomorrow… is that okay (tentatively…

@Fox Yizhi: Ah, wait… I won’t be rejected, right…

@Fox Yizhi: (Facepalm and bitter smile)

Ling Chen, seeing such a high concentration of second-dimensional humor, was speechless: “……”

No, wait, he couldn’t just use ellipses like that. He should blend in with the local customs.

Ling Chen: “……”

Before Ling Chen could think of a reply, his phone suddenly popped up with a group chat. It turned out that He Jinchao had set up a group for the three of them without their consent.

The next moment, a prompt popped up: “Group video call has started.” Ling Chen immediately pressed the reject button, but unfortunately, his rejection was too late, and the annoying ghost had forcibly connected the call.

Suddenly, the phone screen was divided into three sections, showing three different spaces.

Hu Yizhi, who was focused on playing a game: “……”

Ling Chen, who was slacking off in the duty room: “……”

He Jinchao’s voice, but no image: “Good evening, you two. Writing is too troublesome. I thought it would be more convenient to do a video call.”

Ling Chen was speechless: “He Jinchao, do you always love to make decisions without consulting others?”

There were fewer than twenty people in his phone contacts, and he always kept it on silent mode. He hated phone calls, but He Jinchao went ahead and started a video call without asking for his consent, even preventing him from hanging up!

Hu Yizhi had a mental breakdown: “Mr. He, you… you… you…”

He stammered for a long time, unable to finish a single sentence. He stayed at home all day, even leaving notes for delivery that said, “Don’t call, don’t ring the doorbell, just leave it at the door.” He never expected He Jinchao to be so rude.

“I know you must be excited right now, but don’t get too worked up,” He Jinchao’s magnetic voice came from the video call. “I previously did an event for a film I worked on, where buying a set of limited-edition DVDs gave you a chance to win a video call with all the actors for a minute. The price for this video call was raised by scalpers to over thirty thousand, and the event was canceled… But now, talking to me is like earning thirty thousand.”

Ling Chen scoffed: “Earning thirty thousand? Why didn’t I see it in my account?”

He Jinchao laughed: “Xiao Ling, my money is your money. When I die, you’ll get all of it.”

Ling Chen had never seen someone so shameless… especially a wealthy person.

At this point, He Jinchao was in a spiritual state, so although he could manipulate electronic products, the camera couldn’t capture him. The part of the screen belonging to him only showed the background, with no ghostly figure.

He Jinchao leisurely spun around in front of the camera and asked, “You really can’t see me?”

Hu Yizhi spoke quietly: “You can’t see through the screen. A soul, in a sense, is an electromagnetic wave, and its frequency doesn’t match the frequency of the electronic camera. It’s hard to capture. If it were an old film camera or one of those reel film cameras, you could catch a blurry shadow.”

“Oh, I see,” He Jinchao said with realization. “I’ve heard that in the past, many film crews would ‘run into ghosts’ while shooting, so before filming, the director would lead the entire crew to burn incense, pray, and offer sacrifices. This tradition has been passed down, but in the last ten years or so, I haven’t heard of any crew encountering ghosts.”

With the advancement of technology, film crews no longer used film cameras, so it became impossible to capture ghost images.

Ling Chen knocked on the table and reminded them to get back to the point: “Stop talking about irrelevant stuff, let’s focus on the main issue.”

The gaming nerd Hu Yizhi was distracted again, his gaze wandering as he fumbled with the joystick, sweating as he racked his brain for an excuse: “Ah no, Wah Da Xi…”

“—Great exorcist, we encountered another ghost today.” Ling Chen didn’t allow him to make excuses and got straight to the point. “She looks like a three- or four-year-old girl, and she was sitting on the shoulders of a young woman, but she didn’t do anything aggressive.”

As soon as this was said, Hu Yizhi, who had been playing “Zelda” while video chatting, jolted, causing his game character to crash into a wild boar’s tusks.

However, Hu Yizhi didn’t have time to mourn the character’s death; he quickly focused on the camera, raising his voice: “A little ghost that looks like a child? You didn’t talk to that ghost, did you?”

Ling Chen, surprised, asked: “No, we didn’t… Can we not talk to her?”

“Of course you can’t!” Hu Yizhi practically shoved his face into the screen, not caring about the camera distorting his features. His long bangs hid his eyes but couldn’t conceal the panic on his face. “Ghosts that look like children are the most dangerous! They died before they matured, and normally they shouldn’t be strong enough to stay in this world. But someone must have used some very evil method to keep them here, so they have a lot of resentment. That’s why so many horror films use children to play ghosts—it’s because child ghosts are the most dangerous!”

This was completely unexpected for Ling Chen. The little ghost had appeared so well-behaved, and when their eyes met, she even smiled at them. If not for her entirely black eyes, she might have looked like a chubby doll from a New Year painting.

He Jinzhai’s tone was hesitant: “But that little ghost doesn’t seem like a bad one.”

“How did you figure that out?” Hu Yizhi didn’t believe it.

He Jinzhai described the little girl’s appearance: “A bad ghost is supposed to have a green face, sharp teeth, and an ominous aura, right? She looks so cute, and she’s always smiling, she doesn’t look like a bad ghost at all.”

“You’re too focused on appearances!” Hu Yizhi shook his head repeatedly, “Just because a ghost looks good doesn’t mean it isn’t a ghost. The ones that seem harmless are more likely to hide deadly danger.”

He then asked Ling Chen to describe in detail when and where he had encountered the little ghost. After hearing that the ghost girl’s “owner” was a third-tier actress from the entertainment industry, he clenched one fist and hammered it into the palm of his other hand (Ling Chen: this gesture is too cartoonish), exclaiming loudly, “At Suda Temple! There’s only one truth!”

Ling Chen: “?”

“She must have raised a ‘little ghost’!” Hu Yizhi said firmly, “Many people in the entertainment industry are superstitious and believe they can fulfill their wishes by raising a ‘little ghost’ to help them become a top star. Little do they know, ‘little ghosts’ can’t change fate; they only exhaust future luck. Even if someone temporarily gains a flood of resources and rises in status, they will ultimately go astray and end up miserable.”

It’s often said that a rising star depends on luck, while a fading star’s fate is sealed, and a forcibly promoted one will vanish into thin air… There’s some truth to this. Those who can make it big are often destined for it by luck. Even if they didn’t act or sing, if they opened a restaurant, worked in a factory, or took a regular job, they would still have smooth sailing.

Hu Yizhi continued, “Take Mr. He for example, there are so many ordinary high school students in the world, how many of them can be spotted by a famous director on their way home from school and instantly become famous with their first film? There are many stars who can be named over the decades, but how many of them can maintain their soul status after death and still meet their destined partner in an afterlife marriage?”

“Great wizard, I need to remind you of two things,” Ling Chen interrupted him. “First, you don’t need to say the latter half of that sentence, afterlife marriage is complete nonsense; second, you don’t need to mention the first half either. He Jinzhai is already narcissistic enough, you don’t need to remind him of how lucky he is, or he’ll start flaunting his peacock feathers again.”

“Little Ling, you’re too late,” He Jinzhai’s relaxed voice rang out, “Too bad you can’t see me on the screen, I’m already flaunting my feathers.”

Ling Chen: “Tsk.”

He Jinzhai laughed even more happily: “Even though you can’t see me, I can still see you rolling your eyes.”

“…”

Ling Chen awkwardly changed the subject: “Great wizard, so according to you, we should just ignore Zheng Linlin and the ‘little ghost’ she raised?”

“Yes, absolutely don’t get involved!” Hu Yizhi repeatedly reminded, “Everyone has their own fate, and ghosts have their own path. As long as they don’t actively seek you out, there’s no need for you to get involved with them.”

Ling Chen thought carefully: Zheng Linlin was ranked low in her agency, and she didn’t attend He Jinzhai’s funeral. Perhaps she didn’t even know that He Jinzhai had passed away. Their meeting today was purely accidental. She picked up the ashes of her relative and left, so they probably wouldn’t have any more interactions… right?

For some reason, Ling Chen felt a slight uncertainty in his heart, as if a ticking time bomb was hidden in some corner he had overlooked.

“By the way, Great Wizard, how’s your fully automated divination app going?” He Jinzhai asked, “It’s been almost a week since we entered our birthdates, and the result still hasn’t come out?”

Unexpectedly, this question directly hit Hu Yizhi’s sore spot. Even through the blurry phone screen, it was obvious that his face turned bright red, all the way from his neck to the tips of his ears.

“Computer divination… You don’t understand how the program works, it needs time, you can’t keep rushing it!”

“Oh,” He Jinzhai dragged his voice, “So it failed to run?”

“It didn’t fail!” Hu Yizhi immediately raised his voice, then nervously lowered it again, “Uh, I can’t say it failed, I’d just say… it hasn’t succeeded yet.”

Ling Chen understood—it wasn’t a complete failure, but 99% of it had failed: “So what went wrong? Did the computer freeze? Is there a bug in the software? Surely it wasn’t a sudden power outage?”

“My program can’t have a bug!” Hu Yizhi denied it immediately, “It’s just the results are unstable!”

It turned out that Hu Yizhi had used He Jinzhai’s birthdate to run the system program, but the software had run several times, each time giving a different result.

The first time, the software showed He Jinzhai had an excellent destiny, destined for great wealth and honor; the second time, it showed that he would live a mundane life; the third time, it showed he would have smooth progress and success; the fourth time, the result flipped again, saying he would face imprisonment in the future…

“He Jinzhai has become a ghost, and you think he could end up in jail? Who’s going to arrest him, the Ox-head and Horse-face or the Black and White Impermanence?” Ling Chen was both amused and furious, “Great Wizard, I’ll throw some corn on your keyboard and let Xiao Chaicha pick it, whatever program it runs will be more reliable than yours.”

Hu Yizhi was almost in tears. As a socially anxious shut-in, his pride in his programming skills was being questioned, and he couldn’t explain himself. Embarrassment flooded his mind.

He couldn’t stay any longer, muttering “Tata open! Tata open!” as he hastily fled and shut off the video call.

So, only He Jinzhai and Ling Chen were left in the video chat box.

He Jinzhai spoke gently, “Little Ling, weren’t you too harsh on the Great Wizard? Even if his programming skills are bad, you shouldn’t compare him to a hamster.”

Ling Chen was surprised: “Really? I was just stating the facts.”

He Jinzhai: “…”

There was a moment of silence.

Ling Chen stared at the small video screen on his phone and suddenly spoke, “By the way, where are you now? Why aren’t you in the duty room?”

He Jinzhai adjusted the camera, letting Ling Chen see more clearly: “I’m in the small bathroom in the backyard of the duty room.”

Ling Chen was confused: “Why are you in the bathroom?”

The duty room was located near the entrance of the entire funeral center, and it had a small yard. For the convenience of the staff, there was a bathroom and a toilet in the yard, which were cleaned daily.

He Jinzhai’s laughter rang out: “What else would I do in the bathroom? Of course, I’m taking a shower.”

“???” Ling Chen incredulously asked, “Do ghosts need to take showers? How do you wash?”

“Ghosts really don’t need to shower,” He Jinzhai’s voice was heard without his figure in sight, “But I’ve been feeling uncomfortable from not flushing water for so long. Even if I’m just standing under hot water for a while, it helps relieve that discomfort.”

As if to prove his words, the sound of water began to trickle on the other end of the screen. Steam quickly filled the bathroom, and the mist began to blur the camera.

Ling Chen couldn’t help but swallow: “…He Jinzhai, are you really ‘showering’?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized how hoarse his throat had become.

“Of course,” He Jinzhai’s speech was calm, “And I’m showering while video calling with you.”

“…”

Ling Chen’s eyes seemed to have a mind of their own, unable to tear away from the screen—even though he couldn’t see He Jinzhai in the bathroom, he could only hear the continuous sound of water.

“I know, even though you can’t see me, I’m sure certain inappropriate images have popped into your mind, right? After all, a man like me—standing at 1.87 meters tall, with an eight-pack abs and facial features so sculpted, like they came straight out of a museum, is really a rare sight in real life. Even though we are both men, it’s perfectly normal for you to either feel jealous or be in awe of me. I’m generous, so I allow my fans to imagine anything about me.”

Ling Chen: “Hmm, I am imagining something.”

He Jinchao laughed, his voice echoing against the bathroom walls, blending with the sound of running water, creating a unique reverberation.

Ling Chen: “I’m imagining, when you ‘shower,’ do you need to ‘take off your clothes’? If you take them off, do the clothes disappear? If you don’t take them off, what’s the difference between you and the kind of insane person who stands in the middle of the street in the pouring rain instead of going home?”

“…”

“Oh, there is still a difference,” Ling Chen chuckled softly, “Getting rained on is free, but you have to swipe my water card to take a shower.”