The Fourteenth Pill

Shining

Gui Tingyue didn’t know how to describe her feelings at this moment. She only knew that she felt like she was melting, like a piece of butter softening in a warm bath.

She lost her ability to speak and could only respond with the simplest words: Chen Shi, you’re so nice.

Chen Shi replied: Stop being mushy.

Gui Tingyue sniffled: But you really are.

Chen Shi said: That’s just what you think.

Guí Tingyue sat back on the bed: Do you really have it too? I mean, depression.

She was finally no longer afraid to bring up this term that few people could truly empathize with, because they shared the same suffering, because they sympathized with each other, and because of his unreserved honesty and comfort.

Chen Shi didn’t deny it: Yes.

Gui Tingyue asked: Do you still have it now?

Chen Shi said: I’ve been off medication for almost half a year.

Gui Tingyue said: You shouldn’t stop medication on your own.

Chen Shi: I know.

Gui Tingyue worried: How do you feel now?

Chen Shi said: Calm.

He then asked: How about you?

Guí Tíngyue thought for a moment and honestly replied: Just had a big cry, and kind of want to see you.

Chen Shi: …

He carefully confirmed: Do you really want to see me, or is this just a cheesy pickup line?

Gui Tingyue burst into laughter at this, losing all her gloominess: A cheesy pickup line means I really want to see you.

Chen Shi said: Come down, I’m almost at your building.

Worried he’d wait long, Gui Tingyue hurriedly left her room, changed shoes, and ran out at full speed.

Auntie Li didn’t even have time to ask where she was going.

When she stepped out of the building, Chen Shi was indeed standing at the end of the path. He was holding a shopping bag from the supermarket, a transparent one, showing the new slippers he bought for her.

He had no particular expression, but Gui Tingyue was smiling.

The girl had obviously just cried, the redness around her eyes had not yet faded, like the sky clearing after rain, with clouds still tinged by the sunset.

He looked at her, and she looked at him as the sunlight poured down, as if they were getting to know each other anew, a silent understanding between them.

After a while, Chen Shi’s eyes were dark, but his smile was bright: “Finished looking? If so, I’m heading back.”

“Ah…” Gui Tingyue deflated in an instant.

Chen Shi said: “Ah, what?”

Gui Tingyue took the chance to negotiate: “Can we move it up?”

Chen Shi asked: “Move what up?”

Gui Tingyue said: “Move tomorrow’s breakfast to this afternoon.”

Chen Shi was silent, then finally said: “I only agreed to meet tomorrow morning.”

Gui Tingyue said: “Today’s lunch can be a gathering of fellow patients.”

Chen Shi laughed: “I’ve never thought of myself as sick.”

Gui Tingyue said: “Then you have a good mentality,” then quickly changed her words: “How about – a midday fan meeting?”

Chen Shi frowned: “Since when did I give you the impression that I’m easy to persuade?”

“I don’t know,” Gui Tingyue folded her hands together: “Maybe you told me in a dream.”

Chen Shi curled his lips.

“Chen Shi.” Gui Tingyue called him.

“Mm.” He responded lightly.

She pleaded: “Please? It’s cruel to cut off emotions once they’re up.”

Chen Shi sighed inwardly, then gestured: “Let’s go.”

Gui Tingyue followed happily.

Walking beside him, the corners of her lips seemed to be competing with the corners of her eyes, and she started asking more questions: “How did you figure it out?”

Chen Shi glanced at her: “Was it hard to figure out?”

Gui Tingyue said: “I don’t know, at least I didn’t think you were, you…”

As she said this, she suddenly realized, her voice immediately rising: “Last time when you took me to KTV, it wasn’t because of this, was it?”

Chen Shi nodded: “Mm.”

Gui Tingyue sighed, disappointed: “I thought it was my charming personality that won you over.”

Chen Shi gave a small smile.

Gui Tingyue lowered her voice: “Then are you pitying me?”

Chen Shi looked at her: “Why would I pity you? Pitying you is like pitying myself.”

Gui Tingyue’s lips curled: “But you still play drums, while I can’t do anything.”

Chen Shi said lightly: “If I don’t play drum, what else can I do?”

Gui Tingyue felt a surge of bitterness, but she still joked to cheer him up: “You can chat with me.”

Chen Shi said: “Chatting with you ruins my appetite.”

Gui Tingyue was angry: “What’s wrong with me?”

Chen Shi said: “You know it yourself.”

Gui Tingyue: “…”

Gui Tingyue was silent for a second: “You’re so handsome, I’m sure other girls flirt with you. I don’t believe they don’t say these cheesy lines to you.”

Chen Shi hesitated: “You’re the most…”

Gui Tingyue turned back with a fierce expression, finishing his sentence with a hard enunciation: “Lov-a-ble!”

Chen Shi turned his head and sighed: “If you say so.”

Gui Tingyue continued to emphasize: “They don’t understand you, but I do.”

Chen Shi smiled slightly: “What do you understand?”

Gui Tingyue paused, her voice as soft as a mosquito: “The small softness and fragility in your heart.”

“Turn back,” Chen Shi stopped: “Let’s not eat.”

“Why—”

“You’re at it again.”

“But why can’t you let people speak the truth?”

“You don’t understand at all.”

“Oh, I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I’m the little clueless one.” She began to shake her head, being unreasonable.

Chen Shi was at a loss. He decided to blame everything on Gui Tingyue’s face, which was as delicate, white, and full of a sense of fragility as tofu, so he couldn’t bear to destroy it.

Sitting in the restaurant, Chen Shi first ordered a clay pot tofu dish, then handed the menu to Gui Tingyue: “You choose the rest.”

Gui Tingyue took it: “You’re not ordering anymore?”

Chen Shi nodded, crossing his arms on the table: “Mm.”

Gui Tingyue casually ordered four more dishes.

After the waiter left, Gui Tingyue imitated his posture and called him: “Chen Shi.”

After completely opening up, she became even more persistent and courageous than before, and of course, clingier and greedier.

Chen Shi raised his eyes, his long eyelashes like curtains: “Mm.”

Gui Tingyue smiled and pursed her lips: “Why is your name Chen Shi?”

Chen Shi didn’t move, pointing his chin towards where his phone was placed: “Want to ask my parents for me?”

Gui Tingyue: “…”

She changed the question: “What did you do before? I told you mine, so you have to tell me too.”

Chen Shi didn’t hide it: “I played drums.”

Gui Tingyue guessed: “Are you in a band?”

Chen Shi made an “mm” sound.

Gui Tingyue’s eyes widened: “Really?”

Chen Shi nodded.

Gui Tingyue asked again: “Can we still see you perform now?”

Chen Shi said: “We disbanded.”

Gui Tingyue was momentarily speechless, after a while she said: “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

But Chen Shi looked unconcerned. He picked up his chopsticks and said, his tone casual: “That’s how it is in music, you get the spotlight, then fade away.”

Gui Tingyue fell silent.

After a while, she said: “But I don’t think you’ve faded. You know, your drumming is very powerful. Even someone as down as me can hear it, so of course others can hear it too.”

Chen Shi was quiet for a few seconds, then smiled: “Except you, everyone else is complaining about me.”

This smile was quite meaningful, it was hard to distinguish whether it was self-mockery or joy from receiving praise.

Gui Tingyue’s heart ached: “No, there are so many people in this community, only those few troublemakers are complaining about you.”

She sounded like a naïve little kid who was standing up for justice, making Chen Shi smile again.

The waiter brought the first dish, the clay pot tofu Chen Shi ordered.

Chen Shi picked up his chopsticks and said nothing more.

After lunch, they chatted and then went their separate ways.

Back home, Chen Shi washed his hands and walked to the practice room. His drum set was placed in the shaded area, like a black, menacing mechanical monster, cymbals shining but also covered with strike marks.

Leaning against the doorframe, he stared at it for a while before turning away to return to his bedroom for a nap.

Before lying back on his pillow, he picked up his phone, curious if the cheesy talker had sent any new messages.

Unexpectedly, the homeowners’ group chat, which was usually silent, appeared at the top of his list—the one he was forced to join after being called to property management for the first time, which he later forgot to mute.

A familiar avatar caught his eye.

Building 2, 1203: Have you heard the drumming in the afternoon recently? Around 4 to 4:30 PM, I think it sounds really good.

Other residents quickly chimed in:

Building 20, 0204: Yes, don’t know which bro is playing! It’s amazing! Super energetic! Feels like I’m listening to a live version of Whiplash!

Building 18, 1101: Exactly, my son keeps telling me he wants to learn. His mom is speechless.

Building 23, 0103: It’s right in our building, and he seems quite handsome.

Other residents joined in:

—There’s a handsome guy? I want to meet him!

—Is he in the group?

—Can someone @ him?

—Which building? I’ll go listen too.

Chen Shi didn’t expect this girl’s surprising move at all. His heart beat a little faster as he exited to message her privately: ?

The other side innocently replied: What’s wrong?

Chen Shi asked: What are you doing?

MoonPie: I’m being selflessly loving.

Chen Shi: What does that mean?

MoonPie: Although I don’t know how you were in the past, I want to say you haven’t faded away now.

MoonPie: Your drumming can still ignite many people, you’re still shining bright.