Chapter 10: Can You Please Not Leave Me?

After saying that, Cen Wan grabbed a random set of pajamas and fled, rushing into the bathroom and closing the door.

When she came out of the bathroom, the bedroom, which she had messed up, was perfectly tidy again.  She blinked.  “My clothes…”

A bad feeling crept in.  Had they been thrown out?  Not only did she think that, but she also opened the bedroom door and looked outside before she breathed a sigh of relief.

She closed the door and turned around, meeting Lu Beixun’s puzzled gaze.  Cen Wan didn’t know what to say for a moment.

Before she could find the right words, Lu Beixun spoke first.  “Your pajamas are in the closet, and the rest are in the dressing room.”

Cen Wan was stunned.  He was tacitly allowing her to sleep in his bedroom long-term…

“Thank you.”  This was good.  Sleeping together would make things easier, no… it would help deepen our feelings.

She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.  “You’re not going to work again, are you?”

She was afraid he would go back to his study and work until the early morning like he had last night.

“No.”  Lu Beixun leaned back against the headboard, a hint of weariness in his eyes.  He hadn’t slept well last night.

This time, Lu Beixun didn’t turn his back to her like he had last night.  We lay flat on the bed, with a person’s distance between us.

The floor lamp was on her side.  She spoke softly, “I’m going to turn off the light.”

She glanced at Lu Beixun.  The warm light cast a soft glow on his sharp profile, softening his features.

He gave a quiet “嗯.”

Cen Wan reached out and turned off the floor lamp.  The room plunged into darkness, and she could only vaguely see the outline of his profile.

She remembered what she had to do.  She turned to face Lu Beixun.  “Are you going to sleep?”

“Something wrong?”  His voice was low and deep in the darkness.

“If you’re going to the gym tomorrow morning, can you wake me up?”  She waited quietly for his answer.

I never had the habit of waking up at six.  Even if I couldn’t sleep, I would stay in bed, scrolling through my phone until it was time for breakfast.  For a chronic procrastinator, waking up early every day requires a lot of willpower.  It’s really hard to get out of bed.

But luckily, the gym was on the third floor.  I didn’t have to go outside, which made it a little easier.

Lu Beixun said, “If you can get up, you can.”

“I can.”  Cen Wan said, “Remember to wake me up.”

“嗯,” Lu Beixun said, “Sleep.”

Cen Wan obediently “嗯”ed.  She wasn’t sleepy at all.  She kept her eyes open, looking at his vague outline, listening to his steady breathing.

Cen Wan thought, he must be asleep now.

She gently shifted closer to him.  He smelled of shower gel.  Cen Wan’s heart fluttered.  What should I do?  I want to hug him so badly!

She tentatively reached out to wrap her arms around his waist, but she hesitated.

She tried a few times, but she gave up.  She was afraid of waking him up.  He hadn’t slept much last night.

As she withdrew her hand, her wrist was suddenly grabbed.  Cen Wan wasn’t very brave, and she was startled.  The hand on her wrist tightened slightly, and she fell into Lu Beixun’s arms.  An arm went around her neck.

The hand that had been holding her wrist released her, wrapping around her slender waist.  Lu Beixun, who had been lying flat, was now facing her.

She rested her head on his arm.  They were so close that she could hear his steady heartbeat.

Lu Beixun’s voice was low and magnetic.  “Behave yourself and go to sleep.”

In the darkness, Cen Wan blinked.  She realized he wasn’t asleep.

She called his name, “Lu Beixun.”

“嗯?”

“Goodnight.”

“嗯.”

Cen Wan snickered.  She wrapped her arms around his waist.  This was the most secure and comforting position.

She was so comfortable that she soon fell asleep in Lu Beixun’s arms.

She didn’t sleep for long before she was plagued by nightmares.

Fine beads of sweat appeared on her forehead.  The hair on both sides of her temples was damp with sweat.  Her little face was scrunched up, and her complexion was pale.

In the dream.

Lu Beixun wasn’t dead.  He coldly questioned her.  Why didn’t she believe him?  Why did she kill him?

His dark eyes were filled with disgust and intense hatred for her.  He said, if there was a next life, he never wanted to see her again.

After saying that, Lu Beixun didn’t look at her again.  He turned and left, his back resolute.

She wanted to call his name, to chase after him, but she couldn’t make a sound.  Her feet were heavy, unable to move.  She could only watch helplessly as he left.

After Lu Beixun left, she was trapped in darkness.  She couldn’t see her hand in front of her face.  There was no direction, no light.  No one could get in, and she couldn’t get out.

Fear coursed through her nerves.  She crouched down, hugging herself, trembling.

“Cen Wan, wake up.”  Lu Beixun noticed her distress.  His brow furrowed, and he called her softly, “Wake up.”

Cen Wan’s brow furrowed, her hand tightly gripping the blanket.  She couldn’t hear anything.  She was trapped in her pain, muttering constantly.

“Don’t leave… I’m scared.”

“Lu Beixun… it’s so dark here.  Don’t leave me…”

“Lu Beixun…”

Her voice became choked.  “Lu Beixun, it wasn’t you who killed Mom and Dad and Luoluo… I know…”

“I really know I was wrong…”

Hearing this, Lu Beixun’s eyes changed.  The emotions in his eyes were obscure.

Cen Wan’s voice went from choked to sobbing.  She kept muttering, apologizing.

Lu Beixun came to his senses.  He grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her.  “Wanwan, wake up.”

“You’re having a nightmare.  I haven’t left.  I haven’t left you.  I’m right here.”

Cen Wan seemed to hear Lu Beixun calling her.  Didn’t he already leave?

He left.  He doesn’t want me anymore…

He reached out and gently wiped away the tears from her eyes.  “Wanwan, open your eyes and look.  I’m here.”

It was Lu Beixun’s voice.  She wasn’t mistaken.  She cried and asked, “If I open my eyes… will you stay?”

“Can you… please not leave me?”

Cen Wan’s words were broken by sobs.  Tears streamed down her cheeks.  Her hair at her temples was damp, and her pillow was soaked with her tears.

Lu Beixun was silent for a moment before he hugged her.  “How could I bear to leave you when you’re like this?”

He sighed.  “Don’t cry anymore.  Open your eyes and look at me, okay?”

The darkness in her dream dissipated.  She stood up and looked at Lu Beixun in the distance, reaching out to her.  She smiled.

Cen Wan slowly opened her eyes, meeting Lu Beixun’s worried and heartbroken gaze.  She was stunned for a moment before she hugged him tightly.  “Lu Beixun…”

Lu Beixun gently patted her back.  “嗯, I’m here.”

After a while, her tears soaked the fabric of Lu Beixun’s chest.  “I know I was wrong.  Really.”

Lu Beixun “嗯”ed, his voice calm.

Although Cen Wan had woken up from her dream, her consciousness was still blurry.  She didn’t know if this was real or another dream.

“I was wrong…”

Cen Wan kept apologizing to Lu Beixun, and he gently comforted her.

When she was tired of crying, she fell asleep.  This time, she didn’t dream, and she slept soundly.

Lu Beixun laid her down, pulled the covers up, and placed his finger on her brow, smoothing out her slightly furrowed brows.  He looked at her softly for a while, then leaned over and turned off the floor lamp.  He lay down beside her and wrapped his arms around her.

Cen Wan rubbed her face against his chest in her sleep.