Chapter 18: She Provoked Me

How could this be?

Had something happened to someone?

My hands clenched tightly, my nails digging into my palms.  I walked inside.  It was Lu Beixun’s funeral.  The thing I feared most, the thing I was most afraid of…

Cen Wan collapsed to the ground, unable to believe what she was seeing.  Wasn’t I reborn?  Lu Beixun was by my side.  How could this be…

That voice rang out again, telling me that I hadn’t been reborn.  Lu Beixun had been killed by my own hands.  He was gone.  The warmth of the past few days was just a dream, all fake.

This was the reality.

I couldn’t tell what was real and what was fake anymore.  Tears blurred my vision.  I couldn’t find my way home.

I forgot.  I didn’t have a home anymore.  Neither my home nor the home Lu Beixun had given me.  I had nothing left.

Tears and sweat soaked my pillow.  I was trapped in a dream, unable to wake up.

Vaguely, I smelled a familiar woody scent.  A kiss, soft and gentle, landed on my lips, tender and lingering, bringing me peace.

In a daze.

A gentle voice said, “Why are you crying like this?  It’s just a dream.  It’s not real.  I’m here.”

In my sleep, I kept calling Lu Beixun’s name, as if as long as I kept calling him, he would never leave.

Hearing that familiar voice, my heart settled.  I opened my eyes.  My eyelashes were wet.  In front of me was Lu Beixun’s face, magnified.  His brow was furrowed, as if he was worried about me.

His warmth lingered on my lips.  I was stunned.  “Lu Beixun…”

“Aren’t you supposed to be back tomorrow?”

I wasn’t sure if I was still dreaming.  The person in front of me felt so real, but I was afraid he would disappear from my sight the next second.

I pinched my thigh without making a sound.  My brow furrowed.  It hurt.  The Lu Beixun in front of me was real.

Resentment welled up inside me.  My beautiful brows furrowed.  My eyes were watery.  I pursed my lips, the corners of my mouth drooping.  I looked both wronged and pitiful.

Lu Beixun was worried about me.  After he arrived in Haicheng, all he could think about was the night I had nightmares, sobbing uncontrollably and calling his name.  After his meeting and taking care of some things, he flew back.

When he got off the plane, he saw that I had called him.  He wanted to call back, but he was afraid I was asleep and he would disturb me.

He gently wiped away the tears from the corner of my eyes.  His voice was low and deep, laced with weariness.  “There’s a troublesome person at home.  I’ll come back as soon as I take care of things.”

He had just gotten home, and he hadn’t even had time to change his clothes when Cen Wan threw herself into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.  “I had a nightmare.  Hug me.  Hug me tight.  I’m scared.”

Her voice was thick with a heavy nasal tone because she had been crying.

Lu Beixun looked down, tightening his arms around her, patting her back, and whispering words of comfort.

My heart slowly calmed down.  I stayed in his warm embrace for a while.  People tend to get sentimental at night.  “Lu Beixun, do you still love me?”

I usually pretended not to care about that, but that wasn’t true.  I cared, I cared a lot.  The day he handed me the divorce agreement, I lost my confidence.

I was afraid that he was only caring for me out of a sense of responsibility as a husband.  I was even more afraid that a year later, Lu Beixun would insist on divorcing me.  Maybe he had agreed to the year-long agreement just because they were married.

I was afraid.  I was afraid every day.  Afraid that I wouldn’t be able to keep him, especially when I was alone and quiet.

Lu Beixun’s thin lips pursed slightly.  He remained silent.

When I didn’t get a response from Lu Beixun, I didn’t press him further.  I pulled away from his embrace and looked up at him.  His eyes were filled with weariness.  “You must be tired after traveling all day.”

Cen Wan got out of bed and put on her slippers.  “You rest for a bit.”

I went into the bathroom, adjusted the water temperature, and filled the bathtub.  I grabbed a set of pajamas from the closet and placed them on the shelf next to the bathtub.  I lit some incense.

When I was done, I stood in front of Lu Beixun.  I untied his tie and helped him take off his suit jacket.  I put away my usual spoiled-princess attitude.  At this moment, I was a gentle, domestic wife who cared for her husband.

Lu Beixun’s gaze was gentle.  Something in his heart was touched.

I smiled at him.  “Go ahead.”

Lu Beixun “嗯”ed and went into the bathroom.  Cen Wan found a hanger and hung up his suit.

I was disappointed that I didn’t get the answer I wanted.

But it was okay.  I comforted myself.  We still had a year.

An hour later, I was nestled in his arms, hesitant to speak.  I wanted to ask him if he had rushed back from Haicheng because he was worried about me, or if there was another reason.

I opened my mouth, hesitated for a while, and finally swallowed my words.

“Did you drink?”  Lu Beixun, who had been silently holding me, suddenly spoke.  His voice was low.

Cen Wan didn’t deny it.  “Yeah, I had a little bit.  Not much.”

In my previous life, Lu Beixun never interfered with my drinking.  As long as I didn’t get drunk and hurt myself, he wouldn’t say anything.

By Lu Beixun’s side, I had always been free.  I was disobedient and not well-behaved.  I was always causing trouble and going against him.  Whatever made Lu Beixun unhappy, I did it.

Thinking back, I was just taking advantage of his love and doing whatever I wanted.  Lu Beixun had the power to tie me to his side and force me to be obedient and well-behaved.

But he didn’t do that.  He would rather be unhappy himself than treat me that way.

“I saw Shen Jianyu today.”

Lu Beixun looked at her, but he didn’t say anything.  He waited for her to continue.

“She provoked me,” Cen Wan said, lifting her chin.  “But I didn’t lose.”

The corners of Lu Beixun’s lips curved up subtly.  Cen Wan caught it.  She looked at him with a playful glare.  “Aren’t you worried that your wife will be bullied by your pursuer?”

Actually, Lu Beixun wasn’t worried about them meeting.  One was measured in her actions, and the other was like a cute, fierce kitten who never lost.

Cen Wan thought of Xu Zhitang’s words.  She looked at Lu Beixun and blinked.  “Lu Beixun, is Shen Jianyu really your pursuer?”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing.”  Cen Wan didn’t know what to say.  Whether she was a rival or not, any woman who flirted with Lu Beixun frequently was considered a rival in her book.

Cen Wan’s white fingers lightly poked Lu Beixun’s chest.  “Coach Lu, you’re a married man.  You need to stay pure.  Stay away from those bad women, okay?”

As she said those words, a strange look flashed in Cen Wan’s eyes.  She was the worst, most vicious woman to Lu Beixun…

Lu Beixun grabbed her restless hand and said in a low, deep voice, laced with a hint of indulgence, “Okay.”

Cen Wan’s eyes lit up.  She smiled.  “In return, I’ll wake up at six tomorrow morning.  I promise I won’t let you pull me out of bed.”

He stroked her head.  Lu Beixun said, “Sleep.”

Cen Wan got up and leaned closer to him.  Her warm lips landed on the corner of his lips, giving him a light peck.  She wanted to be greedy and go deeper, but she didn’t dare.  She was afraid that Lu Beixun would be uncomfortable and push her away.

“Coach Lu, goodnight.”

After saying that, Cen Wan went back to sleep.  She closed her eyes.  After a few seconds, something soft landed on her brow, staying there for two seconds before leaving.

Then, she heard Lu Beixun’s low voice, “Goodnight, Wanwan.”