For the past few nights, as Qian Wang lay in bed, he kept thinking about what happened that night at the bar. He recalled the moment when Zhao Ziqiang, who wasn’t in his right mind, spoke in the most seductive voice with the purest gaze, revealing the deepest grudge in his heart.

Qian Wang hates himself for being powerless. He can’t erase the dirty deeds he’s committed, nor can he wish away the memories embedded in Zhao Ziqiang’s mind. All he can do is lie in bed, tormented by regret, over and over again.

He slowly closed his eyes, pressing his body against the wall where Zhao Ziqiang slept on the other side. In his mind, he was still childishly praying for some kind of remedy for regret, entertaining the absurd thought of being able to go back in time.

Outside, the puppies were scratching at the door again, growing more and more mischievous. They always acted cute on purpose, cunningly winning Zhao Ziqiang’s soft heart. Qian Wang scoffed in disdain, then became frustrated with himself for reaching a whole new level of boredom. What on earth had he been thinking about since getting into bed?

As his consciousness gradually blurred, Qian Wang felt as though a halo of light was circling above his head. He raised his hand to brush it away, still not opening his eyes, and then sank into darkness.

In the middle of the night, his heart suddenly jolted. Qian Wang kicked his legs, startling himself awake. A dizzying sensation overwhelmed him, and as he opened his eyes, his heartbeat gradually quickened.

…What was in front of him? A coffee table? A TV? How could he be in that two-bedroom apartment that had already been sold, holding a glass he had thrown away long ago?

Qian Wang sat there in stunned confusion, utterly at a loss. Then, with a click, the door opened. Zhao Ziqiang stepped halfway in, wearing a down jacket, rubbing his shoes on the doormat by the entrance. After a while, he let out a final sigh, exhaling the last bit of smoke, fully stepped inside, and closed the door behind him.

Qian Wang’s heart trembled, his hands shook, and his eyes were almost glazed over, fixated solely on Zhao Ziqiang. He couldn’t believe it, he had really come back. Back to the past.

With his mouth slightly open, Qian Wang noticed the mix of green, red, and white vegetables in Zhao Ziqiang’s hands. Without thinking, he blurted out, “What groceries did you buy?”

He saw Zhao Ziqiang glance at him out of the corner of his eye, rub his left ear against his shoulder, and then, as if ignoring him entirely, changed into slippers and headed into the kitchen.

Unsure of Zhao Ziqiang’s current mood, Qian Wang cautiously got up and followed him.

It had become a habit for him to smile whenever he saw Zhao Ziqiang. So, after following him into the kitchen, he grinned under Zhao Ziqiang’s gaze. Zhao Ziqiang furrowed his brows, and Qian Wang thought he must find him a nuisance and want him out. So, he stepped aside to the far edge of the stove, still smiling.

Zhao Ziqiang gave him a look as if he were crazy, then slid his foot out of his slipper, bracing himself against the stove with one hand while pulling off his socks with the other. The sock had a hole in the front. This scene was too familiar—so familiar that Qian Wang didn’t even know how to react, his hands instinctively tightening and loosening in a helpless gesture.

“Throw it into the laundry basket, but don’t mix it with the underwear.”

Zhao Ziqiang leaned back for a moment, and seeing Qian Wang lost in thought with his head bowed, his eyes flickered for a second before darkening. He then put his slippers back on and shuffled toward the bathroom.

Once Zhao Ziqiang left, Qian Wang finally snapped out of his daze. He hurried after him, but when he reached the bathroom door, he didn’t know how to explain himself, only standing there with a frown.

Zhao Ziqiang placed the dirty socks down and used his hand to block Qian Wang from coming any closer.

He pointed out, “You’re in the way.”

Then, he headed back to the kitchen.

Qian Wang, like a shadow, followed him closely.

Zhao Ziqiang ignored him, standing by the chopping board and slicing cabbage with practiced skill. Qian Wang, as if possessed, didn’t know what came over him but found himself drawing closer, calling out:

“Zhao Ziqiang.”

Zhao Ziqiang tilted his head, squinting as he held a cigarette between his lips. Seeing Qian Wang in a dazed state, he frowned slightly, dropping the knife and placing his hand on Qian Wang’s forehead.

“Are you sick?”

After a moment, he pulled his hand away and checked his own forehead. Finding nothing wrong, he ignored him and went back to chopping the vegetables.

Qian Wang swallowed, savoring the long-lost feeling of being indulged, while pressing himself closer, completely surrounding Zhao Ziqiang.

His nose buried in the back of Zhao Ziqiang’s hair and breathed in deeply. His breaths alternating between shallow and deep. Zhao Ziqiang showed no reaction, continuing to chop quickly, only releasing a soft chuckle.

Qian Wang chuckled in response, unable to stop himself from touching Zhao Ziqiang, both playfully and recklessly. Zhao Ziqiang let him do it for a while, then stopped laughing and, with a serious tone, asked,

“Alright, what’s going on today? What’s got you so happy?”

Qian Wang shook his head, holding tightly to Zhao Ziqiang’s waist as he moved closer to the gas stove. Zhao Ziqiang didn’t stop him, simply going about his business—stirring the pot, heating the oil, and adding the vegetables. It wasn’t until the oil began to smoke and splatter, filling the small kitchen with the scent of frying, that Zhao Ziqiang finally pulled Qian Wang’s hand away, coughing a couple of times before saying:

“You should go out… Your clothes will get soaked in the cooking fumes soon.”

Qian Wang’s eyes were also a little dazed, but he insisted:

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. We’ll stick together through thick and thin.”

Zhao Ziqiang curled his lips.

“You aren’t the one who’s going to wash the clothes, so of course, it’s no problem for you!”

Though Zhao Ziqiang said this, he still let Qian Wang hold onto him, smiling slightly while adding seasonings to the pot with his back turned to Qian Wang.

Once the meal was ready, Zhao Ziqiang set it on the coffee table. Qian Wang wore an expression of serious anticipation, as if he were about to eat a grand feast. Zhao Ziqiang, in a good mood, said,

“Anyone who didn’t know would think we’re waiting for bear paws. But here it is… stir-fried cabbage with vinegar.”

Rice and cabbage were placed on the table, and Qian Wang picked up his chopsticks and started eating. His hands moved swiftly between the plate and the bowl, working quickly. Zhao Ziqiang, sitting across from him, laughed softly, occasionally taking a sip of water. Qian Wang buried his head, eating with great focus, his head bowed low as his eyes grew misty. He had never known that something as simple as stir-frying a small dish and sharing a meal could bring so much happiness.

After finishing his meal, he headed to the bathroom. His phone rang from the living room. He heard Zhao Ziqiang’s footsteps drawing near, and soon, the door to the bathroom creaked open. Zhao Ziqiang stood there, arm outstretched, his expression calm.

“Phone.”

Qian Wang paused for a moment, reaching out to take the phone. The name on the screen seemed strangely unfamiliar. Zhao Ziqiang, seeing he didn’t answer, understood and walked away, closing the door behind him. Qian Wang pressed the power button and tossed the phone carelessly onto the sink.

When he exited the bathroom, Zhao Ziqiang was already sitting cross-legged on the sofa, expressionless, watching the news channel. A sense of sourness unexpectedly filled Qian Wang’s heart. He had a strong feeling that the time he had left to return to the past was running out.

He moved closer, circling around to the back of the sofa, bending slightly to wrap his arms around Zhao Ziqiang’s body. His breath brushed against Zhao Ziqiang’s collarbone, but Zhao Ziqiang remained unmoved.

“Are you going out?”

Qian Wang nodded, clearly feeling the person in his arms slightly pull away. He smiled, speaking softly:

“I think I’m still craving something… Let’s go on a date.”

Zhao Ziqiang turned his head, his eyes showing no surprise, but instead a hint of mockery.

“Sure.”

Qian Wang smiled widely, quickly getting up and heading back to his room to get dressed. He didn’t notice Zhao Ziqiang behind him, tilting his head and rubbing the water cup in his hand with a bit of force.

The two of them got ready to head out. Qian Wang was actually quite full from the meal, so when they passed by restaurants, he would casually distract Zhao Ziqiang and pull him away. Zhao Ziqiang had already noticed, but said nothing, simply following along wherever Qian Wang led.

With the New Year approaching, the streets were especially crowded. Qian Wang figured there was no harm in being bold, so he reached over and grabbed Zhao Ziqiang’s hand. Zhao Ziqiang, who had originally been keeping his hands in his pockets, looked at Qian Wang in surprise when his hand was pulled out and held. But seeing that Qian Wang was casually gazing at the street scene, he didn’t raise any objections.

The two grown men wandered aimlessly around the snow piles on the busy street, occasionally stopping to glance at the couplets and firecrackers on the roadside. They didn’t buy anything or say much to each other, yet the atmosphere was unexpectedly harmonious.

“What’s making you so happy?”

The distant sound of firecrackers echoed on the street, one after another. Zhao Ziqiang had been holding it in for a while but couldn’t help asking.

Qian Wang grinned, seizing the moment when no one was looking, and suddenly gave him a light kiss on the side of his forehead. Zhao Ziqiang stopped in his tracks, and Qian Wang, smiling playfully, said:

“Nothing much, just… I really like seeing you.”

Zhao Ziqiang stood still, gazing deeply at Qian Wang, who had turned to face him. After a moment, he broke into a smile.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve heard you say something so sweet. It feels kind of awkward.”

Qian Wang chuckled, slinging his arm around Zhao Ziqiang’s shoulder, and reached out to hail a passing taxi.

“To [X] village.”

Once they got into the car and it started moving, Zhao Ziqiang turned to glance at him with a strange expression, somewhat awkwardly asking:

“Why are we going there?”

Qian Wang leaned his forehead against Zhao Ziqiang’s, squinting his eyes and letting out a sigh, only repeating:

“I really like you…”

Zhao Ziqiang gave a faint smile, his eyes dimming slightly. He didn’t respond, and it wasn’t until they got out of the car, standing in front of a gate, that a large dog started barking loudly, its nose pressed against the iron gate. The two of them stood there in the darkness.

Zhao Ziqiang understood what he meant and asked, “When did you find it?”

Qian Wang paused for a moment, murmuring, “Long after….after making so many mistakes…”

Zhao Ziqiang turned to look at him, not understanding his meaning. Qian Wang’s eyes were filled with sadness, but his smile remained unchanged as he pressed his forehead to Zhao Ziqiang’s and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“If I make a mistake in the future, you can just drag me back, beat me up—don’t wait until I’ve messed up too badly. If you’re hurt, push me away, and when I’ve properly apologized, let me make it right. You… if I’m wrong, it’s just me being foolish. I like you, I know.”

Zhao Ziqiang looked at the man’s face, feeling a wave of emotion rise up through him, the salty sting of tears threatening to spill, impossible to hold back.

“Are you talking about you and that Sun Kan?”

Qian Wang felt a pang of bitterness in his heart, not knowing whether this moment was a fresh start or if, in the next minute, he’d be back in the future. All he could do was hold Zhao Ziqiang tightly.

“If… I mean, if… don’t always indulge me. You need to teach me how to organize your clothes, how to do your laundry. Teach me, teach me how to distinguish between what’s like and what’s love…”

Qian Wang felt that words were so limited. He didn’t know how to explain all of this to Zhao Ziqiang. He didn’t want the future version of himself to hurt this Zhao Ziqiang just like the past one had. But he knew, even though he couldn’t understand how any of this had happened, he was powerless to stop it.

Qian Wang’s voice gradually softened, then he chuckled lightly.

“I’m just talking nonsense… let’s go home.”

Zhao Ziqiang seemed completely unmoved by everything Qian Wang had said, following him back home without a word. The two washed their faces, brushed their teeth, undressed, and curled up together in bed, embracing each other.

Just as they were about to drift into sleep, Zhao Ziqiang mumbled drowsily.

“Teacher…”

Qian Wang leaned over, their noses brushing gently.

“Shh… I love you, goodnight.”