Little Drama Queen of the ’80s: Winning Big After a Substitute Marriage in the Military Compound!
Little Drama Queen of the ’80s: Winning Big After a Substitute Marriage in the Military Compound! Chapter 3: How Dare You Steal from Me? Go Eat Sh*t!

When Zhou Qiqi was shaken awake, her eyelids were still glued together.  

“Girl, wake up! Your bag’s been stolen!”  

Seeing her still dazed, the middle-aged woman next to her raised her voice to repeat the warning.  

Only then did Zhou Qiqi fully snap out of her grogginess. Her heart sank as she immediately looked down at her arms.  

She distinctly remembered clutching her bag tightly against her chest before falling asleep. But now? It had slipped onto her lap, completely unprotected.  

A quick glance at the bag confirmed the worst—though the knot on top was still tightly tied, the side had been slashed open. The patched-up cloth jacket inside had also been cut, with half a sleeve dangling out of the tear.  

Frantic, she yanked open the bag. Sure enough, the handkerchief inside was gone.  

When she had bought the train meal earlier, that handkerchief had been bulging with cash. She’d even pulled out a ten-yuan bill from it, and the conductor had taken forever to count her change. Everyone around had seen it.  

Now that the handkerchief was gone, it meant she’d lost a huge sum of money.  

Just then, several other passengers in the car started shouting—they’d been robbed too.  

“Go on, hurry and report it to the patrol officer!”  

Following the crowd’s urging, Zhou Qiqi went to find the train police.  

But before long, she returned, dejected.  

“Well? What happened?”  

The middle-aged woman asked with concern. Zhou Qiqi shook her head slightly.  

In this era, trains were practically the only means of long-distance travel. The cars were packed like dumplings in a steamer, crowded and constantly shifting.  

But security personnel? Few and far between.  

Thieves blended into the crowds like slippery eels, making it nearly impossible to catch them in the act.  

Besides Zhou Qiqi, over a dozen others had also reported thefts.  

The officers took down their information, saying they’d contact them if the stolen items were recovered.  

But everyone knew the chances were slim.  

Hearing this, the passengers around her immediately broke into chatter.  

Some sighed sympathetically, shaking their heads. Others smirked with schadenfreude.  

A few munched on melon seeds, watching the scene like it was entertainment.  

Zhou Qiqi ignored them all. After thanking the middle-aged woman, she was about to sit back down when—  

Wham!  

The woman slapped her thigh and pointed at her.  

“This is all your own fault!”  

The crowd nodded in agreement like a flock of pecking chickens.  

“Auntie, what do you mean by that?”  

Zhou Qiqi was stunned. She never expected the blame to land on her, the victim. She stared blankly.  

“You’re a military dependent, aren’t you? A new bride? I saw a pass in your bag earlier with the August 1st emblem on it.”  

The woman raised an eyebrow, her tone sharp.  

Damn, this auntie’s got sharp eyes—sharp enough to peek into other people’s bags!

Zhou Qiqi stayed silent, only grumbling inwardly.  

“See? I was right!”  

The woman, triumphant as if she’d won a battle, pulled out a handful of sunflower seeds from her pocket and cracked them loudly between her teeth as she spoke.  

She’d been holding back these words since boarding the train. Now, she finally had her chance.  

“Look at your outfit—just like mine. You’re definitely from the countryside! Your clothes are covered in patches, but you don’t act like a proper, frugal village girl at all! You don’t seem like a decent, hardworking wife!”  

“Finally get your hands on some money, and what do you do? Splurge on spicy chicken and fried eggs like there’s no tomorrow! Can’t control your cravings, huh? That’s your husband’s hard-earned money—money he risks his life for out there! How could you spend it so carelessly? Don’t you have any shame?”  

“And don’t you know the saying, ‘Don’t flash your wealth’? You just had to pull out that ten-yuan bill for everyone to see, didn’t you? Showing off? No wonder the thief targeted you!”  

The woman spat out a seed shell and glared sideways, her tone dripping with disdain. “So I say—you had this coming!”  

Zhou Qiqi’s fingers clenched around the torn bag, her knuckles turning white. She stayed silent, head bowed.  

“Look at her! Finally feeling ashamed, huh?”  

The woman pointed at Zhou Qiqi, laughing loudly.  

The crowd joined in, all of them now criticizing Zhou Qiqi.  

In their eyes, a military wife should live a life of simplicity and frugality—how could she splurge on expensive train meals?

The middle-aged woman was absolutely thrilled, feeling like she had suddenly become the opinion leader of the entire train car, puffing out her chest with pride.  

Zhou Qiqi finally raised her head, a cold smirk on her face.  

She wasn’t ashamed—she was just laughing at the woman’s shameless, twisted logic.  

Now that she’d had her fill of laughter, she straightened her back and met the woman’s gaze head-on, unwavering as she fired back:  

“Auntie, how can you be so sure this money was given to me by my husband? It’s mine—I earned it myself! What, in your eyes, just because I’m a rural woman, I can’t make my own money? Even Chairman Mao said, ‘Women hold up half the sky.’ Are you trying to go against his teachings?”  

The moment these words left her mouth, the entire train car fell silent. The earlier buzz of gossip vanished instantly.  

“Y-you—!”  

“Don’t you dare pin that label on me! Who can prove you earned that money yourself? That much cash? Impossible! You think we’re all fools?”  

The woman hadn’t expected this little bride to talk back. Pointing at Zhou Qiqi, she shouted aggressively, trying to rally the crowd to suppress her.  

But Zhou Qiqi wasn’t flustered at all. She turned to the entire car, her voice as clear as a radio announcer’s:  

“I don’t have proof. But even if this money was given to me by my husband—he fights to protect our country, shedding blood and sweat to earn it. Isn’t that so his family, so all of us, can live better lives? If I treat myself to something nice, isn’t that exactly what he’d want? What’s wrong with that? Don’t we all work hard and struggle just for this?”  

The train car was a mixed bag—all kinds of people, but every one of them was someone toiling away on life’s journey. Hearing her words, they couldn’t help but nod silently.  

Wasn’t making money all about living a little more comfortably? No one could argue with that.  

Now, the looks people gave Zhou Qiqi were no longer full of disdain. Satisfied, she turned back to the middle-aged woman.  

“And as for your so-called ‘don’t flaunt your wealth’ nonsense—thieves steal because they’re morally bankrupt! What does that have to do with me? By your logic, people wearing cotton hats deserve to have them snatched, and those in rubber shoes should get them stolen? Why don’t you just ride the train naked—that’d be the safest!”  

Scattered laughter broke out in the car, and all eyes turned to the middle-aged woman.  

She squirmed uncomfortably, tightening her patched jacket around herself.  

“Sharp-tongued little brat! Spouting nonsense! I’ll teach you a lesson today!”  

Her face flushed red as she rolled up her sleeves, ready to charge at Zhou Qiqi.  

But Zhou Qiqi, quick as a fox, darted behind the seats with her little bag, putting on an exaggerated look of sudden realization as she shouted loudly:  

“Ohhh, I get it now! You’re in cahoots with those thieves, aren’t you? Spouting all that nonsense to confuse the masses so your buddies could escape?”  

The entire car erupted in uproar. Someone immediately recalled:  

“Now that I think about it, this woman passed by me earlier, and right after, my wallet went missing…”  

“Yeah, same here! I remember that too…”  

In an instant, the crowd surrounded the middle-aged woman, demanding an explanation.  

But that was no longer Zhou Qiqi’s problem.  

Sticking her tongue out at the woman, Zhou Qiqi grabbed her bag and strode confidently toward the train door.  

In the bustling crowd at G City’s train station, Zhou Qiqi slipped through like a nimble fish.  

She fished out five cents to use the public restroom by the station and took the chance to check the money hidden in her waistband.  

Ninety-nine yuan and twenty-five cents—not a single penny missing.  

She wasn’t stupid. Of course she knew trains were crawling with thieves.  

After returning her aluminum lunchbox to the dining car, she’d borrowed a pair of scissors, cut a piece of cloth from an old shirt in her bag, wrapped her money in it, and tied it securely around her waist under two layers of clothing. No pickpocket could’ve gotten to it.  

As for that handkerchief with the money inside…  

[Hehe~ How dare you steal from me? Go eat sh*t!]  

A man had just subdued a few thieves when he glanced down and spotted a handkerchief on the ground. He picked it up.  

Inside was a note with a giant, meticulously drawn pile of feces—complete with a few flies buzzing around it, so lifelike it was impossible not to make the connection.  

The man’s face darkened instantly.  

Behind him, a few train police officers hurried over.  

“Comrade, thank you so much! These thieves are all trained fighters—we wouldn’t have caught them without your help! Judging by your skills, you must be military, right?”  

Before the man could answer, the orderly behind him stepped forward proudly and nodded.  

“That’s right! This is our regiment commander—Shen Huaichuan!”

Dreamy Land[Translator]

Hey everyone! I hope you're enjoying what I'm translating. As an unemployed adult with way too much time on my hands and a borderline unhealthy obsession with novels, I’m here to share one of my all-time favorites. So, sit back, relax, and let's dive into this story together—because I’ve got nothing better to do!

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