Long Wind Crossing
Long Wind Crossing Chapter 12

Chapter 12: If You Continued Like This, You’ll Truly Have Wasted Your Life

Liu Yuru saw Jiang Rou and hesitated briefly before rising to greet her. Jiang Rou, however, gestured for her to remain lying down. “Please rest if you’re feeling unwell. There’s no need for formalities. I’ll have the physician examine you.”

Though not seriously ill, Liu Yuru felt numb inside. She allowed the physician Jiang Rou summoned to check her pulse. He noted some minor concerns, advising her to take care, but made no remark on her current state of mind.

Jiang Rou nodded without further comment and instructed the physician to prepare a prescription. She then had someone bring food for Liu Yuru before turning to gaze at her quietly.

Seeing this, Jiang Rou’s senior maidservant ushered everyone out of the room, leaving only the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Jiang Rou observed Liu Yuru, who looked a far cry from a joyful new bride. Her makeup was smeared, her eyes swollen, and her demeanor lifeless after a night of weeping.

With a sigh, Jiang Rou tucked the blanket around Liu Yuru. “What happened between you and Jiusi last night?” she asked gently.

Liu Yuru lowered her gaze, offering no response.

“Did Jiusi say something inappropriate?” Jiang Rou guessed. Met again with silence, she remarked with a rueful laugh, “Before proposing this match, I was told you were a properly raised young lady. But it seems marrying into our family has changed you.”

“Madam Gu,” Liu Yuru finally spoke, her voice calm, “I did not wish to marry in the first place.”

Jiang Rou blinked in shock. “But… when I brought up the proposal, your Concubine-Mother said you had feelings for Jiusi.”

A bitter smile curved Liu Yuru’s lips. “Surely you know my family’s situation, Madam. Can you truly believe what my Concubine-Mother says?”

“But your father was right there,” Jiang Rou said, baffled. “Your family… you…”

She trailed off, at a loss. Though aware of the discord in the Liu household, she knew Liu Xuan to be a reasonable man. Her sources indicated that while he favored his concubine somewhat, he had never neglected his children, especially Liu Yuru as the eldest legitimate daughter. She had never lacked for food, clothing, or a proper upbringing. Children were the apple of their parents’ eyes, especially the first child, towards whom parents tended to have deeper feelings.

Just as Jiang Rou cherished Gu Jiusi with all her heart, she couldn’t fathom how a father could allow his concubine to deceive others about his own daughter’s marriage without any intervention. It was unthinkable!

Suppressing her rising anger, Jiang Rou asked as gently as she could manage, “Tell me truthfully—did your family truly have a prior betrothal agreement with the Ye family?”

“They were planning to,” Liu Yuru replied honestly, her expression numb. “Old Madam Ye personally visited to propose the marriage. My family had agreed and were simply waiting for Young Master Ye to return from his provincial examinations before finalizing the betrothal.”

“Outrageous!” Jiang Rou exclaimed, leaping to her feet to pace the room in agitation. So much effort had gone into arranging this union, only for it to make both the bride and groom miserable while offending the Ye family in the process!

Jiang Rou closed her eyes and took a deep breath, finally understanding Liu Yuru’s current attitude. She allowed herself to calm down, reminding herself that the young girl was probably more frightened than they were.

Jiang Rou looked at Liu Yuru, whose expression remained numb, and felt a twinge of pity. After a moment’s hesitation, she returned to Liu Yuru’s side as she carefully chose her words. After a long pause, she gazed at Liu Yuru and slowly began to speak, “Miss Liu, it was imprudent of our family not to thoroughly investigate your potential betrothal to the Ye family. The fault is ours, and I deeply apologize. I hope you can forgive us.”

Liu Yuru didn’t respond, but she was somewhat surprised. However, this emotion was so faint that it failed to stir any ripples within her. She lowered her eyes and calmly said, “Such private matters are not suitable for outsiders to discuss. Even if you had good intentions, Madam, it would have been difficult to uncover the truth. My family misled you, so I do not blame the Gu family.”

Jiang Rou, seeing her demeanor, understood that she was a sensible young lady. Although she was furious with Liu Xuan, she couldn’t direct that anger towards Liu Yuru. She looked at Liu Yuru and sighed, continuing, “But now that we find ourselves in this situation, what do you plan to do?”

“What can I do?” Liu Yuru laughed bitterly. “The betrothal was set, the marriage completed. Am I to let Gu Jiusi truly divorce me? I came to the Gu family hoping to live a good life. What other choice do I have?”

Jiang Rou remained silent as Liu Yuru took a deep breath, seemingly finding it extremely difficult to continue speaking.

“It’s not that I’m unwilling to make this work,” Liu Yuru continued, voice cracking with emotion. “It’s Gu Jiusi who isn’t! He spoke of divorcing me on our very wedding night, and now he’s disappeared. How does he expect me to carry on like this?”

Tears welled in her eyes. “Madam Gu, I had resigned myself to this marriage without much hope for happiness. But at the very least, let me live out my days in peace. If he divorces me, he leaves me no choice but death!”

Jiang Rou listened quietly, contemplating Liu Yuru’s words. The young woman’s speech was filled with undisguised disdain, and Jiang Rou couldn’t help but smile wryly. “Do you wish for us to find Jiusi and bring him back to you?” 

Liu Yuru said helplessly, “What use would that be? If you drag him back only for him to run off again, over and over, won’t I become the laughingstock of all Yangzhou?”

“Then what do you plan to do now?” Jiang Rou asked. 

Liu Yuru shook her head despondently. She didn’t know what to do, nor did she want to think about it anymore.

“Just let him go where he pleases, do as he likes,” she said hoarsely. “I’ve accepted my lot. All I ask is to stay here and be fed. I can’t be bothered to care anymore…”

“I can’t take it anymore…” she sobbed. “I just can’t take it anymore…”

Time and time again, she had been toyed with by fate. Time and time again, things had changed unexpectedly. She had thought the road ahead was smooth and wide, but suddenly she had fallen into an abyss. She had lived cautiously all these years, only to end up here despite all her efforts. She no longer had the will or courage to fight.

Jiang Rou watched the girl crying by the bedside and couldn’t help but sigh. She gently patted Liu Yuru’s back without saying a word.

This silent comfort caused Liu Yuru’s sobs to subside. She slowly hiccuped, and after a long while, she heard Jiang Rou say, “Miss Liu, cry your fill. After crying, you should stand up again.”

Liu Yuru didn’t respond.

Helping Liu Yuru sit up, Jiang Rou passed her a handkerchief. “I know your heart is full of bitterness, but when we fall down in life, we face a choice—to get back up, or to stay down. Rising again is hard, but it lets you continue forward. Remaining on the ground is easy, but it means your journey is over.”

“Everyone knows this,” Liu Yuru said dully. “But Madam Gu, I can no longer see the path ahead.”

Jiang Rou was silent for a moment, then slowly said, “I understand you’re dissatisfied with Jiusi, seeing him as a good-for-nothing dandy. Compared to Ye Shi’an, he indeed doesn’t seem like a good choice for a husband. But neither you nor our family can turn back time. We must move forward. I hope this to be a true union, not a feud. If you’re willing to hear me, I have some thoughts to share…”

“Please go ahead, Madam.” Liu Yuru inclined her head.

“Yes, my son has shortcomings—less ambition than Young Master Ye, he’s a wastrel. But he also has many good qualities. He has a pure and kind nature, and has never acted immorally, except for his fondness for gambling. 

“In other aspects, he exercises restraint. He doesn’t indulge in women. Those rumors of him spending a fortune on a courtesan were actually for his good friend. Jiusi may only be eighteen, but he is pure-hearted, desiring a wife as a lifelong companion. At least in matters of love, he will not mistreat his bride, which is more than many men can say.”

“Sincere feelings are sweet as honey to the beloved, but toxic as arsenic to the disliked,” Liu Yuru countered ruefully. “Aren’t those feelings why he’s rejecting me now? I’d prefer him to be a bit more fickle, so I would at least have a chance.”

“But feelings rarely begin as ardent passion,” Jiang Rou said. “Most marriages are arranged by elders. Why, I didn’t lay eyes on your father-in-law’s face until I lifted my bridal veil. Those who fall in love before marriage are vanishingly rare or have breached propriety. For most couples, affection grows through their interactions after the wedding.”

She smiled reassuringly at Liu Yuru. “Jiusi has never showed particular interest in any girl before you. It was the first time he expressed a desire to marry, which is why we thought he liked you. Even if it stemmed from a misunderstanding, you still have a head start over other women when it comes to his feelings.”

Liu Yuru lowered her eyes. Jiang Rou, sensing her reluctance, said, “I’m not asking you to curry favor with him. I only hope you won’t make things needlessly difficult for yourself. Take a look at my son first. You need to acknowledge him, to feel that he’s not entirely worthless, only then will you have a way forward. If you think he’s beyond hope, if you despise him, resent him, what do you plan to do in the future? Do you really intend to shut yourself in this room for the rest of your life?”

“If you do that, you’ll only be making things hard for yourself.” Jiang Rou sighed. “If you do this, your suffering won’t end, and you’ll have wasted your life.”

Liu Yuru’s tears fell silently.

Jiang Rou felt a bit helpless and continued, “I don’t expect you and my son to necessarily like each other. I can understand if you don’t like him. But I hope that since you’ve entered our family, you’ll invest yourself in building a life here. I will assist you however I can.

“Today, Jiusi went to the Spring Flower Pavilion. This is the first conflict between you two. How you choose to handle it today will determine the future path of your marriage. You can tell me what you plan to do.”

At the mention of Jiusi’s destination, Liu Yuru began to tremble, hot tears spilling down her cheeks.

The Spring Flower Pavilion…

How could he abandon her to indulge himself there on the very day after their wedding? Did he care nothing for her dignity, content to make her a laughingstock?

“Madam Gu,” she choked out, “you claim you’ll help me. How so?”

“That depends on how you want me to help.”

“If I demand you bring Jiusi back immediately and punish him harshly for this offense?”

“I can and I will,” Jiang Rou confirmed without hesitation, startling Liu Yuru. “What else?”

Voice trembling, Liu Yuru asked, “He is your son, Madam. I don’t understand why you would go against him to support me.”

“Yuru,” Jiang Rou tucked a loose strand of hair behind Liu Yuru’s ear. “I told you, I desire a true union, not a feud. Jiusi is clearly in the wrong here, and I will not endorse such behavior. You are the Gu family’s young madam now. Regardless of the circumstances that led you here, I am committed to guiding your marriage onto the right track. We all face hardships in life. The only thing to do is keep walking towards something better.

“To be honest, from my personal perspective, as long as you’re determined to make a good life for yourself, marrying into the Gu family will serve you better than the Ye family ever could have. Your father-in-law and I are reasonable, we’re not overly strict. If you wish to manage the household, engage in business, or study further, I’m happy to advise you.

“As for Jiusi, if he doesn’t divorce you, then he certainly won’t take concubines, so the rear court will be peaceful. He has a pure and kind nature. Going to the Spring Flower Pavilion this time is to cause trouble against his father. His rebellion also stems in part from him misunderstanding your role in the arranged marriage, not grasping the difficulty of your position. Once he learns of your plight, I believe he will take responsibility and support you.”

Jiang Rou said calmly, “Don’t reject this marriage so quickly. Give yourself a chance to truly know Jiusi and let him prove his worth before casting judgment. All I ask is that you keep an open mind and heart.”

Katra1212[Translator]

Hi I'm Katra! Translator by day, lemon aficionado by night. Secretly suspects a past life as a citrus fruit. Squeezing the joy out of language, one word at a time.🍋

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