Chapter 36

His heartbeat thundered in his chest.

For the first time in his life, Xie Qingya felt what it was like for one’s heart to race this fast.

He dared not speak, even less move.

Xie Qingya’s expression was frozen, his hands limp at his sides like those of a puppet with no control.

His waist was tightly held by Xu Duanyi’s arms, and there was no way to break free.

He could also feel the warm breath against his neck.

Xie Qingya’s mind had already lost its ability to function, filled with only one thought: what is going on? Why is Xu Duanyi holding him?

The last time she held him like this was when they were very young.

Back then, he had been careless and allowed Xu Duanyi to be taken by human traffickers. When he found her again, he was both anxious and scared. He wanted to scold her but was too afraid to do so. That was when Xu Duanyi did the same thing—she suddenly embraced him and began crying.

Now, Xu Duanyi was crying again.

The sobs, never ceasing, still echoed in his ears.

But unlike that time, he did not dare to return her embrace or comfort her.

He had no idea if Xu Duanyi was awake at this moment, nor did he know who she thought he was.

Who had she been this close with?

Close enough to embrace someone like this in such a situation?

Was it her cousin Wen Zhao?

Or had she found someone else she cared for?

Just the thought of this made Xie Qingya’s heart feel like it had been set on fire, and his face turned pale in the dim light of the bed.

The hands that had been hanging stiffly at her sides suddenly half-lifted.

Both hands hovered over Xu Duanyi’s waist, the veins on his hands bulging as if he wanted to grasp her slender waist forcefully, either to wake her or push her away.

He didn’t want to be seen as a substitute!

But his facial expression changed several times, and yet his decision was never made.

His hands remained hovering over her delicate waist, unwilling to take the next step.

At this moment, Xie Qingya resembled a furious beast, angry but unwilling to hurt the one he cared for. He suppressed his anger, wandering aimlessly in his confusion…

Until he heard a voice besides the sobs.

“…Xie Qingyao.”

“What?”

Perhaps because he was too surprised, Xie Qingya instinctively responded.

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it immediately.

But at this point, it was too late to regret.

Fortunately, Xu Duanyi was still not fully conscious and hadn’t woken up the maid on night watch. She was just holding Xie Qingya while crying, calling his name repeatedly: “…Xie Qingya.”

Now, it was clear.

Just moments ago, Xie Qingya was burning with fury, but now all his anger had disappeared.

He had a dazed look on his face.

Beyond the confusion, his eyes, which should have been cold and filled with fury, began to soften in the dim light.

His hands, which had been tense with anger, finally gently encircled her slim waist.

“Why are you crying? Did I wrong you?”

Xie Qingya whispered to her in the dark.

He knew that Xu Duanyi must not be conscious at this moment.

If she were awake, she wouldn’t be holding him.

But he hadn’t expected that, even in an unconscious state, she would cry and cling to him.

What kind of dream could have made her feel so wronged? She usually acted as if nothing was wrong.

Xie Qingya began to reflect on his recent actions, and the more he thought, the guiltier he felt.

No wonder she felt this way.

He lowered his eyelids with a soft sigh.

“Didn’t you already know that I’m a bad person?” Xie Qingya muttered, placing his hand on Xu Duanyi’s back, gently rubbing her back as he softly comforted her, “It’s okay, don’t cry.”

But how could Xu Duanyi, still unconscious, listen to him?

It was as if she had entered a strange loop in her own mind, believing she was dreaming, exposing all the sides of herself that she usually kept hidden.

She continued to cry.

She cried while calling Xie Qingya’s name and even began apologizing.

She looked as though she had done something wrong.

When Xie Qingya heard her say “sorry,” his hand, which had been soothing her back, stopped suddenly.

He asked hoarsely, “Why are you saying sorry? What have you done… that you feel sorry for me?”

At this moment, many thoughts crossed his mind.

But Xu Duanyi didn’t answer him.

She just continued crying and hugging him, repeating the apology over and over.

Xie Qingya sighed deeply.

He didn’t press her further.

His stiff hand started to move again, and he gently continued to rub her back, saying in a low voice, “I don’t blame you, stop crying.”

Whether it was because she was too tired from crying or because of his words, Xu Duanyi, who had been sobbing uncontrollably, finally quieted down.

Xie Qingya felt a sudden weight on his shoulder. Looking down, he saw that the person who had been crying like a child had fallen asleep again.

He gently placed her back on the bed.

Under the moonlight, Xu Duanyi’s face was covered in tears, her eyes and nose reddened.

Even with her eyes closed, she looked pitiful.

Gone was the dignified appearance she usually maintained.

Xie Qingya didn’t know what he was thinking, but his hand reached out toward her, using the soft sleeve of his robe as a handkerchief.

He gently wiped away the tear stains on Xu Duanyi’s face, and while doing so, he muttered, “You did something wrong, and now you’re feeling wronged?”

“Xu Duanyi, you’ve really become more delicate as you grow.”

The person in her sleep couldn’t possibly respond to him, but as Xie Qingya watched her frown even in her sleep, he suddenly reached out again to smooth her furrowed brow, and while doing so, he said, “I don’t blame you.”

After a while, he softly added, “I don’t blame you.”

That night.

Xie Qingya sat by Xu Duanyi’s bed for a long time before leaving.

No one knew that he had come to this place in the middle of the night. Only when Bixi got up in the middle of the night and came to check on her mistress’s sleep did she mumble, “Strange, why is the mistress’s blanket so neatly arranged today?”

But she didn’t think much of it.

After muttering, she yawned and left to go back to bed.

As for Xu Duanyi—

She never suspected that Xie Qingya had come by.

She believed that everything from last night was just another dream.

She wasn’t unfamiliar with such dreams.

Ever since entering the palace, she had often been trapped in nightmares, where she was torn between her aunt and Xie Qingya.

The two of them stood at opposite ends, and she was in the middle.

They both asked her to choose, and she was repeatedly stuck in this dilemma, unable to move forward.

The only thing that surprised her this time was Xie Qingya’s reaction in the dream.

In the past, he had always been disappointed with her in her dreams, but last night, not only did he hug her, but he also spoke comforting words.

This is simply a wild tale.

Xu Duanyi felt as if her head had truly gone muddled for her to have such a dream.

How could Xie Qingya embrace her?

If he knew, he would probably want to kill her.

Even if he held onto past affections, he would never embrace her. He would only disdain her and distance himself.

The next day, upon waking up, Xu Duanyi’s eyes were swollen from crying, just as expected.

Bixi was no longer surprised by this. She knew the cause, so she didn’t ask what had happened.

She just instructed Xiuyu.

She told them to prepare two more boiled eggs from the kitchen, to roll under the master’s eyes to prevent anyone from noticing anything odd.

Xu Duanyi, however, paid no heed to it.

She had not slept well, sitting in front of the vanity mirror while Bixi combed her hair, pressing her temples, and hoarsely asked, “Did Xuefu go to Fushuiju?”

Bixi replied, “She did. Last night, I had Xiuyu take her there.”

Xu Duanyi hummed and asked again, “Did they say anything?”

Bixi immediately understood who “they” referred to. She quickly answered, “No, they seemed quite envious.”

After all, handling dowries was an easy task.

Only those who were trusted by the master would be entrusted with such duties.

Upon learning that Xuefu had been assigned this task, most of them envied her, with a few harboring jealousy. But Bixi did not see any other suspicious signs.

She knew the true reason Xu Duanyi was asking, so she softly added, “I’ve observed carefully, and for now, I haven’t noticed anything unusual among the people in our courtyard.”

Xu Duanyi lightly hummed.

Yet the unease in her heart had not lessened.

She gazed at her reflection in the mirror, and after a long while, she softly asked again, “Has anyone in the Wangfu noticed anything?”

Xu Duanyi, still with a hoarse voice, added, “Have they discovered anything?”

Bixi had already sent Shiyu out earlier to investigate. There was no need to hide the truth: “Don’t worry, I had Shiyu check, and there’s nothing unusual.”

Xu Duanyi felt a sense of relief at hearing this.

However, the anxiety deep inside her still lingered.

She knew that until things were completely resolved, it would always be with her.

She lowered her eyelids, refusing to dwell on this emotion, and continued giving instructions.

“Later, draw pictures of everyone and go to the Houfu.” Xu Duanyi ordered Bixi, adding, “Be careful, don’t let anyone see.”

She truly did not want Xie Qingya to find out.

She feared that the scene from her dream, where Xie Qingya would despise and criticize her, might actually come true.

Even though, in the future, it was likely that such a scene would indeed happen.

Xu Duanyi couldn’t help but hope that it would come later rather than sooner.

“I will be careful, ma’am.”

Bixi answered softly.

—-

In the afternoon.

At the Shuntian Mansion.

Xie Qingya, resting in a public room, received the news brought by Chang Feng.

“This morning, the princess’s personal maid, Bixi, suddenly returned to the Houfu. Our people didn’t dare to go in, but they learned that shortly after Bixi left, a guard carrying a booklet went to the Jinji Zhai in the east of the city.”

“Jinji Zhai?”

Xie Qingya had not slept well the previous night, and now his headache was severe.

He pressed his brows, asking as he rubbed, “What kind of place is that?”

Chang Feng had already investigated this beforehand, and so he replied smoothly, “On the surface, it’s a rouge shop. In reality, it’s a business venture among some wealthy and influential eunuchs and palace maids. I believe this place is used for communication between outsiders and those in the palace.”

Xie Qingya paused in his movements, lifting his gaze to look at Chang Feng.

They had not known about this place before.

But in just a moment, he lowered his gaze again, pressing his brow as he asked, “Did you find anything else?”

Thinking about what Xu Duanyi had said the previous night—those repeated apologies—Xie Qingya fell silent for a moment. Before Chang Feng could answer, he asked again, “Did the guard send any messages to Jinji Zhai?”

He asked with a calm expression, as if no matter what Chang Feng replied, it would not surprise him.

After all, he had heard those countless apologies.

Even if Xu Duanyi had truly betrayed him, he wouldn’t be surprised.

Perhaps it was because the person had cried so pitifully last night, that he had even forgotten to be angry.

He was just curious.

At this moment, what could she find out? What kind of message could she send back?

He wondered if he had revealed anything recently that could give her a reason to send a message to the palace.

But Chang Feng’s next words still surprised him.

“I didn’t explain it clearly earlier, but the guard didn’t go directly to Jinji Zhai. He stayed outside for a while before booking a room in a nearby inn.”

This answer caught Xie Qingya off guard.

He raised his head again, looking at Chang Feng, waiting for him to continue.

“Our people followed him inside and overheard him talking with the innkeeper. It seems like he plans to stay there for a while. And the booklet he’s carrying…” Chang Feng paused here.

Xie Qingya followed up with, “What is it?”

Chang Feng looked at him and answered, “It’s a collection of portraits of the people the princess brought.”

Xie Qingya was completely silent now.

He replayed what Chang Feng had just said. Early this morning, Bixi took this booklet to the Houfu. After that, a guard from the Houfu went to Jinji Zhai and booked a room. And the booklet contained portraits of the people Xu Duanyi had brought…

Even though Xie Qingyao was incredibly smart, at this moment, he was still puzzled about what Xu Duanyi was trying to do.

Perhaps…

He already had some suspicions, but he was still unwilling to believe it.

How could he believe it?

Last night, she cried in his arms so miserably, as though she had already betrayed him, yet now, she was doing these things in secret.

Why?

What was Xu Duanyi trying to achieve?

“Lord, do you think the princess… doesn’t know about this? Is she helping us by doing this now?” Chang Feng asked, speaking the thoughts in his mind.

His brows were furrowed in clear confusion.

Otherwise, he couldn’t understand why the princess would do such things.

If she had known that someone around her was acting suspicious, or if she had been sent on a mission from the start, why would she do all of this?

The fact that she took a maid from the Marquis’ residence clearly showed she didn’t trust the people around her.

Also, sending people from the Marquis’ residence to keep an eye on JinJi Zhai… It was evident that she was trying to investigate who was in contact with the palace.

Then there was the matter of Xuefu yesterday.

Before even approaching the Lord’s study, she had been captured by Shiyu, then dispatched to the unvisited Fushui Residence…

Could it be that the princess was intentionally moving people away from her side to prevent them from approaching the Lord and gathering information?

If it were before today, Chang Feng certainly wouldn’t have thought this way.

But with the new information they had uncovered today… Chang Feng truly believed it was very possible.

Of course, there was still another possibility.

That was, the princess was deliberately acting in front of them, to deceive and lull them into trusting her in the future.

So, while Chang Feng was inclined to trust her, he still kept a measure of suspicion.

But was that really the case?

He looked at Lord Xie, hoping for an answer.

But what could Xie Qingyao give him?

He was even more confused than Chang Feng.

After a long silence, Xie Qingyao finally said, “Let’s wait and see… At least now we have this lead on Jin Ji Zhai, which will make it easier for our investigation.”

Chang Feng nodded.

“I’ll go tell them when I get back,” he replied.

Seeing that the Lord nodded but didn’t say anything more, and noticing his solemn expression, Chang Feng knew that the Lord was also thinking about the princess… He didn’t want to disturb him, so he was about to leave, but suddenly heard the Lord’s voice again.

“We still don’t know exactly what she’s planning. You and Lingji should be more respectful toward her, especially Lingji. He’s bad at hiding things. Don’t let him slip up in the future,” Xie Qingyao instructed Chang Feng.

When he spoke, his expression remained unchanged.

It seemed like he was simply worried that his subordinate couldn’t control his emotions and might ruin his plans.

But Chang Feng, who had grown up with him and knew his thoughts since his youth, could tell there was hesitation and careful consideration in his words.

He had already had this suspicion himself.

No matter if the princess was good or bad, at least from what they knew now, she hadn’t done anything to betray the Lord… so, in terms of both logic and emotion, they should show her respect.

Otherwise, if she were good, it would be too pitiful.

He cupped his hands and said, “I’ll go tell Ling Ji when I get back.”

Xie Qingyao didn’t say anything more, just waved for him to leave.

—-

Meanwhile, Xie Qingyao and his subordinates were still confused.

On the other side, Xu Duanyi had also been nervous and on edge for the past two days.

She had been worried that Xie Qingyao might suddenly come to question her, or that Xuefu’s actions might be discovered. What if he came to ask why she had entered the mansion?

After two days of this, she hadn’t even dared to meet with Changning or Ping’an, using the excuse that she was feeling tired and would skip meals with them.

By the third day, it was the tenth of April.

That day happened to be the wedding day of Xiao Baozhu and Liu Xun.

Early in the morning, Xu Duanyi got up.

Since she had to go out and didn’t want to attract attention, she made sure no one would notice anything unusual about her. She changed into a more formal and composed purple outfit suitable for receiving guests. Afterward, she sat in a chair while Bixi and Xiuyu helped her with her makeup.

“Probably, Aunt Deng will be coming soon,” Bixi said as she did her makeup.

Aunt Deng was the most frequent visitor at the manor. Even when there was nothing urgent, she would come to check in, worried about neglecting the princess.

Let alone on such an important day…

Aunt Deng would definitely not let the princess go alone to the Duke’s residence.

It was likely that Aunt Deng would come over to express her concern, then rush to the study to persuade Prince Nan’an.

In the past, Xu Duanyi would have been happy for Aunt Deng to do this.

It would have been good to prevent Prince Nan’an from going and even let him be scolded by Aunt Deng.

But now…

Ever since the matter with Xuefu, the princess had felt…

Looking down at the princess, Bixi could see the helplessness on her face.

Xu Duanyi truly felt helpless.

She knew that Aunt Deng was worried about her and wanted to play matchmaker between her and Xie Qingya… But she had never agreed to it before, and now, more than ever, she couldn’t.

She felt unworthy of it.

And she didn’t want to put Xie Qingya in a difficult position.

So for the past few days, no matter what Aunt Deng said, she hadn’t agreed, let alone sent any messages to Xie Qingyao.

She was more afraid of other people gossiping about her than about Xie Qingya being gossiped about.

And in this situation, she truly couldn’t afford to have more contact with him.

At that moment, someone entered to report, “Princess, someone is here…”

Xu Duanyi thought it was probably Aunt Deng, and although she felt helpless, she still said, “Let Aunt Deng sit for a while. I’ll finish getting ready and then go out.”

After saying this,

Xu Duanyi began to think about how to explain things to Aunt Deng later.

But to her surprise, the maid did not leave. Instead, she said, “No, it’s not Aunt Deng.”

Xu Duanyi furrowed her brows.

If it’s not Aunt Deng, then who could it be?

Changning?

She should have already gone to school by now.

And Ping’an is even less likely.

Could it be someone in charge?

Just as Xu Duanyi was about to ask, the maid responded, “It’s someone sent by the prince. They said the prince is already waiting for you at the screen wall. Once you’re ready, you can go directly.”

Upon hearing this,

Not only Bixi and the others, but Xu Duanyi also suddenly turned around. She looked at the maid in disbelief and asked in shock, “What did you say?”