Chapter 1: Reborn as a Boy, I’m Going to Marry a Female Bachelor

Thud~ Thud~ Thud~

A dirty, broken bowl crashed to the ground, spilling the thin porridge with it.

“Waaah!”

“Mother, it’s all Brother’s fault, he knocked over my porridge!”

Xun Li, reborn into a female-dominated dynasty, not only lacked a cheat code but also suffered from the persecution of a patriarchal mindset – he was poorly clothed and barely had enough to eat.

Xun’s mother flew into a rage, grabbing the innocent Xun Li and scolding him: “You worthless, good-for-nothing, I’ll make you pay for knocking over your sister’s bowl!”

“Tomorrow, I’ll sell you to the female bachelor at the head of the village! See how you dare to act up then!”

Xun Li had a handsome face – as white as snow, with eyes like autumn water; the women in the village who hadn’t found husbands had long coveted Xun Li, and if he were to marry one of them, who knows what they might do to him.

Xun’s mother had said these words to Xun Li before, but this time she meant it.

“Mother, I didn’t, please don’t hit me anymore~” “It really hurts~” Xun Li’s painted eyes were wet with tears, begging his mother to go easy on him.

He couldn’t understand why a mother could be so biased.

Xun’s father silently cleaned up the broken pieces of porcelain on the ground, saying nothing, ignoring the existence of his son, Xun Li.

“I’m dying of laughter, he really looks like a stray dog!” Xun Li’s sister laughed heartily, completely disregarding their blood ties.

Xun Li had been living like this for over a decade, and the neighbors who passed by were used to it, everything was so natural, yet so bizarre.

…

Night fell, then dawn broke, and then it seemed to get dark again.

All Xun Li had was a small, square thatched hut.

It was just as his sister said: like a stray dog.

“This scrambled egg life, I don’t want to do it anymore!”

“I, the brilliant student of medicine, am really going to be a wife to a buck-toothed, big-eared female bachelor? Waaah! Maybe I should just start over!” Xun Li curled up into a small ball, his fragile, sensitive nerves twitching uncontrollably.

The next day, the entrance to the Xun family’s house was decorated with lanterns and red lanterns.

Passerby A: “Did you hear? Old Liu is getting a wife! And it’s the Xun family’s eldest son! You know, the Xun family’s eldest son is the most beautiful man in the ten miles!”

Passerby B: “Xun’s mother is really willing to part with him, for 10 copper coins she’s marrying off her beautiful son.”

Passerby D: “I have to correct you on that, you know how worthless men are these days! Even if he’s beautiful, he’s still a good-for-nothing!”

The passersby gossiped and sighed, as if it were their own son getting married.

The Xun Family

Xun’s mother impatiently threw a bowl of clean porridge at Xun Li, “Eat it, today is your big day, don’t cause any more trouble for your old mother!”

“Big day?” Xun Li ate the leftover porridge, the cleanest food he had eaten in over a decade, feeling uneasy.

“Yes, in a few hours, the Liu family will come to pick you up, you have to be good, don’t cause any more trouble for your old mother, understand?” Xun’s mother still couldn’t help but threaten and scold Xun Li.

Xun’s father didn’t take Xun Li’s marriage seriously, he had already gone to chat with the neighbors.

“Li understands…” Xun Li hung his head, not daring to look at his mother, afraid she would hit him.

I didn’t expect this day to come so soon, if I were to escape, how would I survive in this feudal dynasty?

Xun Li’s small face lost its rosy color, lacking any of the youthful exuberance that a girl of marriageable age should have.

“Heh, this is what a good child should be like~” “When you give birth to a big, fat daughter, your life will naturally get better~” Xun’s mother, for the first time, rubbed Xun Li’s head, as if Xun Li, at this moment, was finally her son.

The Liu family was also bustling with activity!

Liu’s mother: “Oh, my precious daughter, you’ve finally found a husband!” “Once that little wretch comes through the door, your mother will have to teach him a lesson!”

Liu’s mother was beaming, after all, her only daughter, Old Liu, had been single for over thirty years!

Old Liu, on the other hand, was drooling, looking completely unhinged: “Mother is so good, once Little Li comes through the door, daughter will make sure he takes good care of you!”

Old Liu didn’t care about anything else right now, he only cared about the beautiful Xun Li, and how he would control him in the future.

Liu’s mother was very pleased with Old Liu’s words: “You’re truly your mother’s precious daughter, mother hasn’t loved you in vain!”

Liu’s father had no status in the family, his head bowed to the ground, he had no chance to speak.

But what everyone didn’t know was that Xun Li would run away on his wedding night!

After all, Xun Li wasn’t a native of the Jin Kingdom!

Night

The guests were drunk and boisterous, clinking glasses and laughing.

Old Liu, dragging his drunken body, stepped into the bridal chamber, “Little Li, your wife is here~” “Hee hee hee, don’t be afraid, Little Li, with me, Old Liu, you’ll be eating and drinking the best, I won’t mistreat you!”

The red bed curtain opened, but the bed was empty.

“Where is he!” “Ahhhhh! Where’s my Little Li!” A loud pig-like scream pierced the night, as if it would overturn the entire village!

At this moment, Xun Li, wearing a red wedding dress, was hitching a ride to Chang’an City.

…

Guard: “Miss, there seems to be movement on the money carriage.”

“Oh? Is that so?” Song Zisu smiled without showing her teeth, slightly surprised.

“Yes, yes!” The guard nodded repeatedly.

“I didn’t expect that before I even reached Chang’an, the Crown Princess would be so eager to get rid of me! Good!” “Heh, go bring him up!” Song Zisu’s fingertips brushed against her sword, her expression sharp.

Xun Li was so sleepy at this moment, he hadn’t realized the seriousness of the situation: “Finally escaped, I need to get a good night’s sleep!” “By tomorrow, I, Xun Li, will no longer be a puppet for others to manipulate!”

Xun Li lay back, just about to close his eyes, when he was grabbed by the guard: “Ahhhhh!” “I was wrong! Waaah! I won’t dare again, I’m leaving!”

The guard looked Xun Li up and down, clearly disappointed: “My lady wants to see you, please come with me.”

“Huh?” Xun Li looked confused, he had no choice but to comply.

Thump~

Xun Li was thrown into Song Zisu’s carriage and knelt before her.

“Big Sister, I was just passing by, really!” “If you let me go now, I can roll away! Do you believe me?” Xun Li’s heart was filled with mixed emotions, he didn’t want to have just escaped from a wolf’s den only to fall into a tiger’s mouth!

Song Zisu, on the other hand, was amused by Xun Li’s wide-eyed stare: “…”

The more silent Song Zisu was, the more apprehensive Xun Li became: “Then… I’ll roll away…”

Xun Li firmly believed that if he rolled fast enough, Song Zisu might just let him go like a fart!

Gulp~ Gulp~ Gulp~

In a short while, Xun Li had rolled far away.

Song Zisu’s lips curled up slightly, she smiled faintly at the guard: “Bring him back!”

“Yes!” The guard was quick, in less than three seconds he had brought the dusty Xun Li back into the carriage.

Song Zisu crossed her fingers, resting her chin on her hand, and looked at Xun Li: “I’ll give you two choices: 1. Come back to the Duke’s Mansion with me and be my bed warmer! 2. Let me tie you up and take you back!”

“Big Sister, you’re bullying me!” Xun Li was in despair, he had just escaped from a wolf’s den and now he was in a tiger’s mouth, Xun Li’s mind was blown!

He didn’t dare to dream of being favored by a noble lady… A rich and powerful lady with countless handsome men around her, how could she possibly fall in love with him at first sight, it was just a novelty!

Song Zisu: “Hmm?”

Song Zisu wanted to keep Xun Li, simply because she thought he was the Crown Princess’s spy, and it would be easier to control him if he was by her side.

“Then… will you provide all three meals?” Xun Li’s little stomach grumbled, unable to help itself.

Song Zisu’s phoenix eyes twinkled with amusement, the sun and moon lost their luster, “Of course~”

Bed warmer, so be it, it’s better than starving to death, waah! Xun Li comforted himself in this way.