Chapter 30: Habit is a Terrifying Thing

Xu Muzhou had gone on a mission, and after just a few days without seeing him, Xiao Qingru found herself unaccustomed to his absence, silently counting down the days until he would return.

“Thinking about Xu Muzhou, are you?” teased Song Yuan.

“He said he’d treat me to a meal when he got back.”

Song Yuan gave her a look that said, Oh, keep pretending. “Habits are truly scary things.”

Xiao Qingru clicked her tongue. “You should be precise, Teacher Song. I haven’t known him that long what habits could I possibly have?”

“That’s the beauty of fate. Some people spend a lifetime together and never think of each other. But then there are people who leave a mark in just a short time once they’re gone, they’re unforgettable.”

Xiao Qingru raised her eyebrows playfully. “Such an experty you must be missing that comrade surnamed Qin.”

“Stop it. There’s nothing certain between us.”

“This doesn’t sound like you. Aren’t you usually the one who believes in boldly going after what you want?”

A rare look of distress crossed Song Yuan’s face. “His family background is complicated. My parents would never approve, and honestly, I’d worry about the consequences for my family.”

Xiao Qingru understood without needing further explanation. A difficult family background was indeed a heavy burden.

“So what do you plan to do?”

“Nothing, for now. We’re not dating, after all. Who knows, maybe I’ll meet someone else and forget about him entirely.”

Xiao Qingru didn’t know how to comfort her, so she just stayed by her side.

Song Yuan let out a quiet sigh. “Sometimes I wish I could be brave, but just the thought of bringing trouble to my family makes me hesitate.”

There was nothing wrong with following her heart, but she couldn’t do it at the expense of those she loved.

“Forget it. Why dwell on things? Love isn’t essential to life, after all. Cherishing what we have now is what matters.”

Although Song Yuan smiled, Xiao Qingru could see the sadness she tried to hide. Some issues could be worked through others were walls that couldn’t be breached.

“Take good care of yourself, put yourself first. Life’s easier that way.”

Song Yuan nodded. “I agree. That’s why I won’t be blindly chasing love. If I give up everything for something intangible, that’d be plain stupid.”

She patted Xiao Qingru’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s go. We’ve got a banquet to attend.”

Today was Jiang Chuan and Du Wanqiu’s wedding, and both the Xiao and Song families had received invitations.

“I’m not going.”

Song Yuan was surprised. “Didn’t you say you were looking forward to it?”

“I’d just end up losing my appetite seeing someone I dislike. And besides, if I go, people will stare at me like I’m some sort of spectacle.”

“You could still go just to annoy Du Wanqiu.”

“And what good would that do? I’d still just be a spectacle.”

Song Yuan gave her a pensive look. “Are you really over Jiang Chuan? Not even a little bit?”

“If you were me, would you still like him?”

“I’d be grateful if I didn’t punch him! Like him? Not a chance.”

Xiao Qingru smirked. “So why would I like him?”

For a long time, she thought it would be hard to let go of someone so completely. But when she went through it, she realized some feelings just vanish all at once.

Xiao Qingru didn’t want to give the gossipmongers any reason to talk, and seeing Jiang Chuan and Du Wanqiu together would only irritate her.

“If you don’t go, they might think you’re home sulking.”

“Why should I care what they think?”

Song Yuan stared at her, then gave a thumbs up. “Xiao Comrade, that’s some real enlightenment!”

Life is your own, and once you stop caring about others’ opinions, it becomes much easier.

“You could still make it if you go now,” Xiao Qingru said.

“If you’re not going, I won’t either.”

“But free food…”

“You’re right. I’ll go and see what kind of show they put on for their wedding!”

Song Yuan sped off, and Xiao Qingru shook her head, calling out, “Teacher Song, control your emotions!”

“Relax, I’m just there to watch. I won’t cause a scene.”

Left alone in the house, Xiao Qingru’s thoughts drifted. When Xu Muzhou completed his mission, it would be near the Spring Festival. Would he be staying in the Northwest for the New Year?