It had been three weeks since leaving the imperial palace. After barely escaping Karileum and entering Clozium, Kasha had joined up with the mercenaries waiting for him and was now leading Ruth toward the Rengetti region. Ruth, who had no idea what was going on, had to face three separate ambushes after entering Clozium. Thanks to that, he was able to use all the skills and traps he had learned during training, skills he had never once used while in the imperial knights. The imperial knights were more symbolic than practical, so the techniques he had learned had been left unused until now. Moreover, the fact that there weren’t many assassins pursuing them meant that he had been lucky enough to survive this far. However, the true identities of the attackers remained unknown.

At first, Ruth thought they were agents sent by Ail. But after being ambushed three times, he began to sense something was off. All of the assassins up to that point were from Clozium. While the cultures and clothing of Karileum and Clozium were similar, the overall shape of the sword and the swordsmanship were different. By the direction of the sword strikes and the angle at which the sword handle was held, one could tell the nationality of the person wielding it. All the attackers were trained knights from Clozium. Moreover, it seemed like they weren’t after Ruth but Kasha. They seemed to have no interest in him at all.

“Kasha, tell me the truth now,” Ruth asked in a serious tone as the carriage slowly left the mountain. Kasha, seeming to not understand, asked back.

“What?”

“Who did you piss off? If they’re sending assassins after you nonstop, it must be more than just a normal grudge.”

“Well…” Kasha trailed off, and Ruth turned to look at him. Kasha flashed a grin.

“Think about it carefully. There must be at least one person, right?”

“There are so many, it’s hard to keep track.”

Kasha’s playful answer made Ruth glance at him again, but Kasha smiled widely.

“It’s true. The assassins chasing us are probably from at least three different groups. And once they find out I entered Clozium, another one or two will join in.”

Kasha’s attitude was annoyingly calm, but Ruth could tell he wasn’t joking. He had expected Kasha to have many enemies. His personality wasn’t the type to get along with everyone, and he had many people who either loved or hated him. Moreover, when he got angry, he could be terrifyingly malicious and ruthless. It wasn’t surprising that he had earned some grudges.

“What did you do?” Ruth asked.

Though the weather had become cooler, there was still some lingering heat in the air. The air in Clozium, which was near the sea, was humid and heavy, in contrast to Karileum, which was inland. Ruth fanned himself with his clothing, feeling the heat. While the languages and attire were similar to Karileum, the climate, food, and other aspects were quite different. The trees in the forest were of completely different species, making it clear that they were in an entirely foreign land.

Kasha looked at Ruth, who was fanning himself, with an almost amused look and replied in a soft voice.

“I did a little threatening to some important people. There are plenty of people in Clozium who would rather see me dead.”

“Then why come to Clozium?”

“There’s someone I need to meet.”

“Who?”

“One of the people trying to kill me.”

“Are you negotiating?”

“No. I just have something I want to tell them.”

It seemed like a pretty important matter, considering he was willing to risk his life to come here. So, he had prepared thoroughly, waiting for the mercenaries and making all the necessary preparations. Now, Ruth understood why Kasha had come to Clozium. He nodded, accepting the reasoning. Seeing Ruth’s calm demeanor, Kasha turned the question toward him.

“Do you regret leaving Karileum?”

Kasha’s direct question made Ruth pause for a moment. But then, he answered casually.

“No.”

“You look like you regret it, though. It’s not really my place to say, but should I have left you there?”

“No, I was going to leave anyway.”

Though he said that, ever since that day, Ruth’s expression had been off. He smiled and said he was fine, but his eyes told a different story. Moreover, he couldn’t sleep properly at night. Sometimes, he would just stare blankly at the distant mountains.

Insomnia, a blank expression, and a distant gaze. All these signs pointed to only one thing. Kasha, having suffered from it severely himself, could easily recognize the symptoms. A relentless, poisonous, and fatal fever that left lasting aftereffects and could lead to death even after recovery. But it was a disease that everyone had to face at least once. Never getting it might even be more unfortunate than dying from it.

“Do you love that kid?” Kasha asked, gazing at Ruth’s face closely.

Ruth gave a self-deprecating smile.

“…Maybe.”

Kasha clicked his tongue at the weak answer.

“Why’s the answer so weak? Either you do, or you don’t.”

“I don’t know right now. I think I loved him, but maybe I didn’t… though I think I didn’t, but I still want to see him. Something like that.”

Kasha nodded as if understanding Ruth’s explanation, sensing the bitterness in his words. Sometimes emotions become stagnant, suspended in an ambiguous state. It’s not a matter of whether or not you are conscious of them. There’s something blocking, causing the will and emotions to clash and come to a halt. When that happens, without any progress or regression, emotions stagnate and eventually become numb. At some point, you start doubting the very emotion itself.

“What was the problem?” Kasha’s question hit the mark, and Ruth smiled faintly as he answered.

“Trust. Pride. And jealousy.”

“Which one?”

“Both.”

At his brief reply, Kasha chuckled inwardly.

“You’re jealous?”

“Severely. Almost to the point where I wanted to kill him.”

“Then why didn’t you just kill him?”

“I ran away because I thought I might.”

Ruth turned his gaze toward the window, and Kasha muttered under his breath, “If it were me, I’d have just killed him…” The conversation fell silent for a moment. Ruth was staring outside with a cold look, and Kasha clicked his tongue as he looked at Ruth’s freshly cut hair.

“Such a waste of hair.”

Ruth chuckled as if it was no big deal. “It doesn’t matter. I had to cut it according to the knights’ policy.”

“Still… damn bastard, why grab your hair like that?”

As soon as they entered Clozium, an assassin had grabbed Ruth’s hair during a confrontation, causing him to cut it off with his sword. His once fine and beautiful hair was now gone. Kasha continued to express his regret over it.

“This is better. It’s the first time in 13 years I’ve had it cut short.”

“It’s a waste. All those 13 years of growth gone in an instant.”

“It’d be better if it just disappeared.”

Ruth, with a calm smile on his face, truly wished that everything related to the past would simply vanish, including his long hair from the last 13 years. He wished for everything to be wiped clean so that he could start a fresh, new life. He genuinely hoped for that.

Every time he closed his eyes, the last image of those golden eyes—the eyes that seemed abandoned like an orphan—came vividly to his mind. Those eyes, full of genuine despair and pain. The brilliant golden glow, which had always been bright with ambition, was now overshadowed, darkened, and slowly faded away. Like a gem that had been neglected for years, its once sparkling surface had become dull and cloudy.

He couldn’t stop thinking about him. His face, his gaze.

Instinctively, Ruth reached up to touch the pendant on the necklace hanging around his neck. It was the only trace left of him. No, there was one more thing. On his right hand, there was a scar that he had left behind. Every time Ruth saw the scar or touched the necklace, he couldn’t help but think of him.

How is he living now?

“If you’re that worried, why not just go back?” Kasha’s voice broke through Ruth’s thoughts.

Kasha, reading the worry still lingering on Ruth’s face, spoke up. However, Ruth merely shook his head in response.
“It’s already too late. The moment I tried to cut him down, it was over. If I wasn’t thinking of killing him, there’s no reason to go back.”

Kasha seemed about to say something but then closed his mouth. From the news they had received while traveling, there had been no movement from the imperial family of Karileum. Even when trying to gather information by reaching out to those with connections to the royal court, no one knew anything about the events that took place in the northern palace. This meant that Crown Prince Ail Linus had buried all of it.

The fact that the secret passage of the palace had been revealed, and that Ruth had escaped without any response, could be interpreted in two ways. One possibility was that the prince was trying to resolve the situation quietly and recover Ruth. The other was that the prince had completely given up on him. Kasha couldn’t definitively say which it was, as he didn’t know enough about the situation. However, the look in the prince’s eyes at the very end left him with a pang of guilt. He had thought of him as a reckless fool, but those eyes, in that moment, were desperate—so desperate that Kasha himself felt a tightening in his chest.

If his feelings were truly that intense, if he had been that desperate, he would have knelt and begged, rather than trying to kill Ruth at that moment. To be honest, the difference between his eyes and actions still confused Kasha—he couldn’t figure out what was genuine. People from the royal family were often arrogant and self-righteous, and they frequently spoke and acted differently from their true emotions. But this was the first time Kasha had seen such a stark disconnect.

It was as if he had been angry, his face on the verge of tears, his eyes full of fear and desperation as he shouted for Ruth not to go, and then swung his sword with an expression of hopeless determination.

He had been a strange person. So strange that Kasha couldn’t help but remember him. A person who, despite being awkward and pure, let his pride and stubbornness mask that purity—someone, in a way, pitiful.

Kasha understood that he hadn’t expressed his desperation properly, but that didn’t excuse his actions. That’s why Kasha had brought Ruth along. Knowing how much those kinds of people could torment others, Kasha thought they needed to escape. But now, he wasn’t sure if that had been the right choice. Ever since they left the palace, Ruth’s eyes had started to look distant, as if he too would break down soon.

Both of them were different in their words and their eyes. Their gazes were desperately searching for each other, while they stubbornly insisted with their words that they were fine.

Because of this, Kasha didn’t know what to say. He could only wait. He hoped one of them would realize the truth first. If neither did, then parting ways might be the better option. It would be better to miss each other from a distance than to be together in torment.

With a bitter smile, Kasha lowered his eyes and sighed. Now wasn’t the time to think of others. He had his own problems to deal with. There was a fire burning at his feet, and his hair was catching flame. The place they were heading to now was where his own grave awaited him. He had originally planned to ask Ruth to take care of things, but now he wasn’t so sure that was necessary. So, he decided to think of this as his last journey.

The cool autumn wind swirled through the forest, making a dry, lonely sound.