Chapter 5: The Ironclad Straight Man

After arranging to visit the Dayan Sect with Xie Kun in three days, He Guang returned to Anger Peak to bid farewell to her master.

Her master, known in the secular world as Li Tiezhu, was revered by outsiders as the Iron Zen Master. With a head as hard as iron, he once had the audacity to wield a rusty blade and confront a Nascent Soul cultivator—an encounter he somehow emerged victorious from. However, fate had a way of balancing the scales; the victorious cultivator had a twin brother who exacted revenge, resulting in her master getting stabbed in turn. Rumor had it that the twin brothers later became the heads of the prominent Xie family in Shengjing.

The main hall of Anger Peak was grand and imposing, with high ceilings and a massive bronze bell hanging overhead. Bright yellow drapes cascaded down from intricately carved beams, giving the place a solemn and majestic atmosphere, though it felt oddly dim and cold, reminiscent of a ghost temple from folk tales rather than a proper Buddhist hall.

As He Guang made her way through the hall, she approached the wooden door at the back.

A beam of sunlight burst through the entrance as she pushed the door open.

Inside was a simple courtyard, with a haphazardly built thatched cottage, crooked wooden fences, and a patch of worn earth with a vegetable garden.

It was modest yet infused with warmth and humanity.

The grand hall in front served as a workspace, used for meetings with outsiders, while the dilapidated cottage in the back was where the three of them—master, disciple, and senior brother—resided.

Before she achieved her Golden Core, He Guang had lived here with her master and senior brother.

Taking a deep breath, she gently pushed open the small gate of the courtyard.

The nearby hen was startled by her entrance. It turned its beady black eyes toward her for a moment, assessing her presence, before turning back with disinterest. In contrast, several curious little chicks hopped over boldly, pecking at the hem of her robe.

He Guang hesitated, unsure of where to step. She waved her sleeve lightly, shooing away the little chicks. They tumbled to the ground, their heads cocked in confusion as they tried to comprehend what had just happened.

The hen seemed incensed by the disturbance, glaring at He Guang with fierce determination. It charged forward, pecking at her as if to seek revenge.

He Guang sighed in exasperation. “Come on, Sister Hen, I’m technically your ancestor’s sworn sibling! Can’t we reach a peaceful understanding and let me pass?”

The hen paid her no mind, gearing up for a sprint with its powerful legs. He Guang cast a spell, freezing the hen in place, causing it to crash down onto the ground.

She deftly sidestepped the disgruntled hen and made her way toward the back of the thatched cottage.

On the stone steps stood a tall man dressed only in his undergarments, lazily watering a pot of grass with a wooden jug in hand.

The tradition of cultivating flowers in Anger Zen had been passed down through generations—from her great-grandmother’s peach blossoms, to her master’s succulents, and now to He Guang’s vibrant array of blooms.

However, her master’s succulent was not what one would expect; it was actually a single tuft of foxtail grass.

Years ago, Li Tiezhu was just a reckless youth, diligently following his master’s teachings. He had spent a small fortune purchasing a seed of a rare succulent from the medicinal sect.

He nurtured it meticulously, showering it with spiritual liquid, day and night, never leaving its side.

But as fate would have it, during one fateful sword practice, he overexerted himself and accidentally sliced into the neighboring hillside. While the hill was no great loss, the wind had swept away the precious succulent seed, causing it to accidentally land beside a foxtail grass seed.

The real issue was that he remained blissfully unaware of what had transpired.

As the seed sprouted and matured, he still hadn’t pieced it together. Although he sensed that something about the succulent seemed off, he shrugged it off, oblivious to what a real succulent should look like.

And so, this tuft of foxtail grass distinguished itself among its peers, thriving under the nourishment of spiritual liquid. With the ignorant yet generous support of the simple-minded Li Tiezhu, it smoothly progressed through the Foundation Establishment, Golden Core, and Nascent Soul stages.

Li Tiezhu, the unwitting fool, genuinely believed he had cultivated a rare succulent, and the naive succulent believed him as well. The two lived blissfully together until a senior from the medicinal sect came to visit and revealed the harsh truth.

Li Tiezhu was furious, his anger flaring to the point that it felt as if his crown was about to burst. He felt utterly betrayed, believing that hundreds of years of youth and effort had been squandered on a mere deception.

The “succulent,” now with a dazed expression, was equally shocked to discover it was merely a side character in someone else’s tale. However, after years of being nourished by spiritual liquid, could it really give that up? Besides, it was reluctant to part with the comfortable life of ease it had grown accustomed to.

With a determined grit, it clenched its imaginary teeth, flopped dramatically onto the ground, and began to roll around in despair, wailing, “Li Tiezhu, you heartless scoundrel! After all this care, how can you just toss me aside?”

Li Tiezhu was torn between the impulse to strike the rebellious tuft of grass and the reality that he simply couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was prone to anxiety over every tiny leaf that turned yellow; how could he possibly bring himself to harm it? If he injured it, he would then need to pour even more spiritual liquid into it to nurse it back to health.

And so, the stubborn man and the defiant grass settled into a strange coexistence, continuing on together. The foxtail grass longed to change its name, but Li Tiezhu stubbornly insisted on referring to it as a succulent.

Now, as He Guang gazed at the potted plant, she couldn’t help but feel a wave of sentiment wash over her.

This foxtail grass had gained spiritual awareness, transformed into a Nascent Soul, and yet it was still content.

She stepped forward and lowered her head respectfully. “Master, I have something important to discuss.”

Li Tiezhu lifted his eyelids to glance at her before dropping them again, intently focused on watering the foxtail grass. “Wait a moment; I’ll talk after I finish.”

His voice was hoarse and dry, sounding as if he were just recovering from a drunken stupor.

Around them lay the remnants of a bonfire, with a few chicken bones scattered about, alongside a pile of empty bottles forming a small hill. A black sword stood straight in the ground, its blade glinting in the sunlight, as if it were growling in discontent.

Chicken and wine had made for another debauched night.

He Guang took a step closer, raising her voice slightly, “Master, I really have something urgent to discuss.”

Li Tiezhu remained unfazed, raising a hand to tap his nose and casually wiping it on the flowerpot. “Can’t you see I’m busy tending to my ancestors here?”

With a subtle pursing of her lips, He Guang advanced swiftly. Taking advantage of his distracted state, she yanked the foxtail grass from the pot and tossed it aside. Then, seizing the opportunity while he was momentarily stunned, she poured out everything about Ji Chanzi and the otherworldly souls.

With that series of audacious moves, Li Tiezhu’s hangover was immediately shaken awake.

He stepped down the stone steps, following his line of thought and concluding that his disciple had come to say goodbye.

Meanwhile, the uprooted foxtail grass fell to the ground and instantly transformed into a man.

As a person, the “succulent” had a somewhat delicate appearance, with a smooth face and rosy lips, his skin as fair as jade. His hands were slender and pale, with fingers as dainty as green onions, looking almost fragile. Each fingertip was adorned with a light, fashionable sheen, reminiscent of the latest trends.

He steadied his hairpiece, exasperatedly shouting, “You little pervert! Why did you pull me out like that?”

He Guang coughed lightly and replied, “I was just loosening the soil so you can grow better in the future.”

The “succulent” rolled his eyes in disbelief, a hint of amusement creeping in. “You really know how to scare people.”

Li Tiezhu sat on the steps, his head lowered, still dazed from the effects of his hangover.

The “succulent” kicked him playfully and clicked his tongue in disapproval, turning to He Guang to complain, “You’re a little pervert, and your master is a big pervert! I could run around in my human form, but he still wants me to revert to my original state and bury myself in the ground to water me! I’ve already reached the Nascent Soul stage! What if someone sees me? Where would I put my face?”

He Guang chuckled awkwardly, trying to soothe him, “The original form and human form are different. Master cares about you. He bought that spiritual liquid from the medicine sect just for you. If you water yourself more, you might even reach the God Transformation stage faster.”

Upon hearing this, the “succulent” couldn’t hide his delight; a smile broke across his face, almost shining with joy.

Li Tiezhu finally regained his composure, holding the watering can in silence.

He realized this was likely last night’s foot-soaking water.

Frustrated, he scratched his head and leaned back slightly.

“When do we set out?” he asked.

He Guang answered, “In three days.”

Li Tiezhu waved his hand, intending to dismiss her; it was just a trivial matter. But midway through the gesture, he suddenly paused, his tone becoming unexpectedly serious.

“Guang, is it just you going? That doesn’t seem right.”

He Guang chuckled, surprised that her master, known for his stoic demeanor, was actually showing concern for her. In the past, he had only scolded and hit them.

A smile crept onto her lips as she opened her mouth to respond, but Li Tiezhu interrupted.

“What if you get into trouble and there’s no one around to talk sense into you?”

A cold splash of reality doused her enthusiasm, and He Guang couldn’t resist firing back, “Oh? Then what about you, Master? Shouldn’t you have a guardian when you go out? Oh, wait, I forgot—you have your ‘succulent’!”

“Such disrespect! No regard for your elders!” Li Tiezhu huffed, shaking his head, though a hint of amusement danced in his eyes.

“I genuinely worry about you, Master. If we accidentally flatten the cultivation world, we won’t be able to pay for it!”

As they bickered, the argument escalated into a full-blown scuffle. Of course, it was one-sided—He Guang was getting thoroughly thrashed.

The “succulent” clutched his little flowerpot and hurriedly moved away from the epicenter of chaos, shaking his head at He Guang, who was pinned to the ground, face full of dirt. “After all these years, you still haven’t learned your lesson. You just can’t help but talk back, can you?”

Three days later, when He Guang set off, she wore a face marked with bright red bruises.

As You Xiaowu caught sight of her, his expression twisted in a mixture of concern and amusement. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but ultimately swallowed his words. After following his senior sister for decades, he knew all too well the origin of those red marks.

Xie Kun glanced at her several times, unsure how to broach the subject due to their hierarchical relationship. However, the red marks were impossible to ignore. After battling with his thoughts, he finally blurted out, “Master, are those red marks on your face from an allergic reaction?”

He Guang turned to look at him as if he were a fool. “Is that what allergic reactions look like in your family?”

“I got hit,” she replied.

“From a sparring match on the martial arts platform? I wonder which esteemed senior was responsible for that?”

“My master did it—he aimed for my face on purpose.”

Xie Kun felt a wave of awkwardness wash over her; he hadn’t expected to stumble into family drama.

Xie Xuan, on the other hand, seemed a bit oblivious. Having already disliked He Guang, he decided to provoke her further, saying, “I wonder what kind of person Master Tie is. Can you tell us a bit about him?”

Without sparing him a glance, He Guang replied, “He’s the kind of person who’ll hammer your brains out with a single blow.”

Realizing he was just digging his own grave, Xie Xuan pouted and fell silent.

You Xiaowu, however, was quite intrigued. Although he spent plenty of time with his senior sister, he hadn’t had many encounters with Master Tie. Unable to contain his curiosity, he chimed in, “Come on, Senior Sister, tell us more!”

Though He Guang initially didn’t want to indulge him, she relented under his enthusiastic pleading, finally spitting out four words: “Ironclad straight man.”

Then she began to share a story.

It was back when she was still in the Foundation Establishment stage.

During a tournament among the four major sects, He Guang had defeated Leng Baiwei from the Medicine Sect, securing a place among the top five in the Foundation Establishment tier. After the competition, she received a love letter inviting her to a secluded grove in the back mountains.

At the time, she was young and inexperienced, unsure how to respond to such a gesture. So, clutching the letter, she sought out her master for advice.

Li Tiezhu, a true ironclad straight man, glanced at the letter and casually remarked, “Too weak. He’s not worthy of you.”

He Guang found his words harsh and felt they wounded her pride.

When she finally went to meet the boy, she politely turned him down.

“I like powerful people,” she said.

The boy asked, “So if I become powerful, will I have a chance?”

He Guang replied, “You have to be stronger than me.”

And then, to show off a little, she performed a set of the legendary Dragon Subduing Palms, unleashing a display of overwhelming power. Each strike was thunderous, whipping up gusts of wind and creating a fierce, awe-inspiring spectacle.

The boy watched in wide-eyed shock, his face pale with sweat as he stared in awe.

He Guang’s heart raced with fear—he’s stealing my technique!

She has long since forgotten what the boy looked like, but that moment of him potentially stealing her martial arts left a lasting impression on her.

He Guang casually told this story as a joke, but none of the three people listening cracked a smile. Instead, their expressions were mixed.

You Xiaowu thought: Master Sister dares to call Master Tie an ironclad straight man? She’s way more iron than him!

Xie Xuan, unable to hold back, widened his eyes and covered his mouth, sneaking glances at the now pale-faced Xie Kun.

This story… I’ve heard it before, but from a different perspective.

That boy, it seems, was Kun Kun.