☆ Chapter 13

Ling Shaoze had no idea that the “perverted ex” he was talking about was currently standing right in front of him under a new identity, staring at him with a head full of very perverted thoughts.

Back when He Yi was hanging out with the young boy using his “Wuying” account, he never had the nerve to kiss Ling Shaoze’s female avatar on the lips—he only dared to sneak kisses on the cheek. I mean, he was a grown man, and the idea of kissing a petite girl whose head barely reached his chest just felt way too creepy.

But now, in his new identity as a swordsman—who, theoretically, had no clue that “Ling Guoguo” had a male priest main account—the little guy seemed dead set on dating him using the girl avatar. And there was no way he was going to go a whole week without kissing his soon-to-be wife, right?

He had been on the fence about whether to just hold back or somehow coax out Ling Shaoze’s male avatar—until the little guy went and called his “Wuying” identity a pervert.

He Yi decided then an there—there was no way he was going to let that title go to waste!

The #1 ice-cold beauty on the swordsman leaderboard—Yijian Fenghou^[1]One Slash, One Kill—flashed a calm smile at Ling Shaoze and said with ease, “It’s fine. When it comes to being a pervert, I’m a professional. That ex of yours doesn’t stand a chance against me.”

After all, he was an upgraded version of his old self—constantly evolving.

With that, He Yi casually scooped up his little “girlfriend” by the butt, lifting her with both hands, and planted a kiss right on her soft, pouty lips.

This was also the first time Ling Shaoze had been kissed on the lips while using his female avatar. His expression froze, utterly stunned for a long moment.

Because both of them had proactively held each other’s hands and verbally confirmed their relationship status, the system didn’t even bother to pop up the usual “Do you consent to this intimate action with your in-game partner?” window this time.

No matter how much Ling Shaoze’s female avatar screamed “fake loli”, he was, in real life, very much a legal adult. So obviously, the system wasn’t going to stop him from kissing his in-game partner.

Besides, after “gender-swapping” in the game, the most you could physically do was kiss anyway. Even if you were double-married ,both in-game and in real life, you could never take off those skintight system-issued underlayers. “Gender-swapped” basically just meant your face and figure changed—cosmetic patch only, folks.

Even so, Ling Shaoze still felt too awkward to kiss “Wuying” with his girl avatar—and Wuying, to his credit, had always respected that boundary.

But now? Now, the way Ling Shaoze was looking at Yijian Fenghou had completely changed.
Dear god
His second boyfriend had just confirmed their relationship and immediately kissed his genderbent-loli avatar on the mouth…

WTF. This man is a full-blown pervert! Like, actually worse than Wuying!

And yet… Ling Shaoze couldn’t exactly say anything.

After all, this was the first time he’d met Yijian Fenghou, and he’d shown up using his female avatar. Theoretically, Yijian Fenghou had no idea that this was just a disguise for a real-life guy.

So from Yijian Fenghou’s point of view, kissing his brand-new, adorably petite girlfriend made perfect logical sense.

He Yi tried to hold back his laughter as he watched the little guy freeze up—shocked, conflicted, and clearly looking at him like he was some freaky pervert but didn’t know how to say “stop.” Oh, it was deliciously satisfying.

Serves him right! Always flirting without taking responsibility… and even had the nerve to call him a pervert? Time to get a little payback!

Of course, while Pervert Y, Esq. was enjoying this in his heart, outwardly he wore the tender, attentive face of the Perfect Boyfriend™.

“I just thought my little girlfriend was way too cute… I couldn’t help but want to kiss her. We’re a couple now, right? Isn’t kissing allowed? But… if you really don’t like it, I can hold back…”

Ling Shaoze looked tortured.

What had been the whole point of flirting with the #1 god-tier player to begin with?
Oh right—He wanted Pervert Y to think he was a shameless, flirty trashbag with no moral compass—someone who’d sleep around and break hearts until Y was so disgusted he gave up chasing him altogether.

And now? He’d finally seduced another leaderboard god—only to barely hold hands, acting all sweet and innocent like some awkward middle-schooler? How was that “player” behavior?! All his scheming would be wasted!

This won’t do. Time to crank up the heat.

Ling Shaoze gritted his teeth.
“What’s there to hold back!? Not kissing would be weirder!”

And then, full mission-suicide-mode, he threw his arms around the man’s neck and practically coiled himself onto him like a koala, initiating a kiss on that cold, pale, impossibly handsome mouth.

He was the very picture of a seductive, clingy little vixen.

In the real world, if Pervert Y ever found out that just moments earlier, his darling had dumped Wuying with a passionate kiss up at Lover’s Cliff—only to run straight down and make out with a new lover at the cliff’s base, and in full loli cosplay no less—he’d definitely be convinced he was dealing with a two-faced, utterly shameless scumbag and finally give up!

…Or at least, that had been the plan.

Except aside from that one night in real life, this was the first time He Yi had ever seen the little guy be so wildly proactive and affectionate. His heart practically burst with joy—and he responded with even more enthusiasm.

While kissing, he even sneakily started comparing—hmm, the realism of the holographic technology? So-so at best. Still can’t beat the real deal when it comes to kissing his little sweetheart in person…

If only he could hurry up and drag the kid into his real-life love trap already—kiss when he wants, do everything else when he wants…

Fortunately, Ling Shaoze had no idea what kind of depravity his fresh-out-the-box second boyfriend was fantasizing about. Otherwise, he might’ve spontaneously combusted on the spot.

Even without psychic powers, Ling Shaoze still found something weirdly familiar in this steamy French kiss that totally didn’t match Mr. Iceberg’s cold abstinent vibe.

“Wait…do all men kiss like this??” he wondered, baffled.

Because he sure as hell didn’t kiss like this!

But before he could untangle his thoughts, a group of players began approaching fast.

“Quick! Kite the boss to the base of Lovers’ Cliff—no active mobs down there!”

And there was another voice he was very familiar with:

“I can’t hold on much longer! If only Great God Wuying and Lingling were here!”

Followed by another oh-so-familiar voice:

“Hang in there, Guangguang! The Boss only has a third of its HP left!”

Ling Shaoze shoved his overly mouthy new boyfriend off him and looked over—wasn’t that Pang Wenguang, who was kiting a giant butterfly boss this way like his life depended on it?

Trailing behind him were “Most Handsome Under Heaven”, Dou A’Dou, and five or six players from Hengxing Badao, all of them being chased by a flock of elite aggressive butterfly mobs.

They all looked like they were one sneeze away from a team wipe.

Seeing someone nearby, Most Handsome Under Heaven yelled out:

“Hey! Bro, Miss! Can you help us out? You get first pick from the boss loot if you help kill it!”

How could Ling Shaoze, seeing his friends in danger, still be in the mood to be affectionate and play kissy-face?

Friendship > Kissing time

He leapt off his currently-pouting boyfriend and ran straight into battle.

“Hey! I’m here!”

The Swordmaster leaderboard king (a.k.a. Not-As-Charming-As-My-Friends-slash-Boss New Boyfriend), not happy to be one-upped in importance, unsheathed his sword with a grim face and followed suit.

---

Ten minutes later…

The Wild Map Boss—Mega Butterfly, a massive sparkly death-butterfly—hit the ground and dropped a the loot of ‘Diamond treasure chest’.

Since Yijian Fenghou landed the final blow, the chest defaulted to him.

But He Yi couldn’t care less about the drops. He turned to Ling Shaoze and said generously:

“You open it. Pick something you like.”

Now, Wild Boss loot wasn’t as god-tier as a hell-mode dungeon first-clear, but a diamond chest could still be decent. If you were lucky, it might drop an orange-tier item. Even a standard pull could give you one to three purples.

Ling Shaoze, though, felt kind of guilty. He’d only joined in near the end — and more importantly, he was no longer with Wuying, “The European Emperor” of loot. Who knew if he still had any luck left after that breakup?

Without that elite-tier luck by his side… what if he pulled trash?

So instead of opening it, he turned and handed the chest to Pang Wenguang.

Pang Wenguang stared at Ling Shaoze’s face for several long seconds and finally asked:

“Miss… do you happen to know someone named Domineering Lingling? You two look quite alike…”

Most Handsome Under Heaven and Dou A’dou were also staring at Ling Guoguo with intense curiosity—then glanced, not so subtly, at her supposed boyfriend: the handsome and mysterious swordsman god, Yijian Fenghou.

Ling Shaoze: …

Well, how could they not look alike? The character appearance was generated based on his real face—it was at least 70–80% similar.

Ling Shaoze could only brace himself and say, “Ahem, I’m Domineering Lingling’s younger sister. You’re all my brother’s friends, right? He’s mentioned you to me before.”

‘Most Handsome Under Heaven’ said, “Tsk, Lingling’s too stingy—he’s got such a pretty and cute little sister and never thought to introduce her to us!”

Dou A’dou got excited immediately: “Then Little Sister Ling, you should open the treasure chest! Your brother’s got such amazing luck, so yours must be too!”

Pang Wenguang simply shoved the treasure chest right back into Ling Shaoze’s hands.

This scene was eerily similar to when they first ran a dungeon together—except now he was using a female avatar, and had switched to a brand-new Great god boyfriend.

Ling Shaoze was actually kind of curious to see how his luck fared now. He gave a little warning:
“If I don’t get anything good, don’t blame me…”

Then he opened the treasure chest.

And result? Boom—maximum drop rate triggered: one piece of orange-grade material, three very decent purple gears, and even the blue items were high quality.

A certified little red hand.

The perennially cursed Dou A’dou muttered jealously, “How come you siblings are not only good-looking but also disgustingly lucky?!”

Most Handsome Under Heaven sighed in regret: “And both taken, too!”

He looked every bit like he’d have tried to court either of the Ling siblings if they were single.

Pang Wenguang, meanwhile, silently added another mental note:
These two siblings not only look alike—they both go for #1-ranked gods. And even more absurd? They actually succeeded. The brother bagged the #1 assassin, and the sister? The #1 swordsman.

Since there was only one orange item, Ling Shaoze obviously wouldn’t take it.

He picked a pair of purple bracers that were suitable for swordsman class and handed them to his new boyfriend, Yijian Fenghou.

But Yijian Fenghou refused:
“No need. The stats aren’t as good as what I’m already wearing. Pick that ring over there—something that you can actually use.”

Ling Shaoze glanced over. His new man was already fully decked out in purple gear, with an orange weapon to boot—he really didn’t need anything. So Ling Shaoze didn’t insist and took a ring that suited his mage account.

Pang Wenguang also gave Ling Shaoze two blue materials and said warmly:
“Next time, bring your brother—and both your partners! Let’s run a ten-man dungeon together!”

Ling Shaoze: …

That might be a bit of a problem.

For starters, he and his “sister” couldn’t be online at the same time. And more importantly, Wuying wasn’t his boyfriend anymore—he was an ex.

With the way things stood, next time they met, it might not be dungeon team-up vibes so much as mortal enemies on sight.

Fortunately, before he could figure out how to respond, his aloof and handsome boyfriend coolly interjected from behind:

“No need. I prefer spending quality time alone with Guoguo.”

Pang Wenguang coughed awkwardly: “Oh, oh—then we’ll leave you guys to it!”

Most Handsome Under Heaven gave him a knowing look: “Mhm, got it! We’re off!”

Dou A’dou clutched his chest like he’d just been choked by a mouthful of dog food.

The three friends all looked at Ling Shaoze with weird expressions, and even though it was awkward, he somehow understood exactly what they were thinking—

No wonder Lingling never introduced them to his sister. Turns out she’s got a boyfriend even clingier than Wuying!

After parting ways, Yijian Fenghou personally escorted Ling Shaoze to the flower field grinding zone, power-boosted his mage account by two levels, and only then did they return to the main city.

Only then did Ling Shaoze—a bit late to the party—suddenly ask:

“Aren’t you curious about my brother? How come you haven’t asked anything about him at all?”

I mean, normally if your girlfriend had a brother in-game, wouldn’t you at least ask a few more questions about him?

Ling Shaoze couldn’t put his finger on it, but something about this new boyfriend felt… off.

The #1 ranked Swordsman paused for a moment, then smiled gently at his “little girlfriend” and said:

“Of course I want to meet him. You tell me when it’s convenient—let’s all go have a meal at the in-game tavern, just the three of us.”

Ling Shaoze: …?!

Why did I even bring this up?! I totally dug my own grave.JPG

---

Author’s Note:
When I typed “有口难言 (hard to explain)” for Lingling, my input method editor’s second suggestion was “有口难言不如睡 (if it’s hard to say, just go to bed instead)”…

Seems like this IME^[2]Chinese Input Method Editor: a tool or app that lets users type Chinese characters using a keyboard, often by typing pinyin (the Romanized form of Chinese sounds) and choosing from suggested … Continue readingreally gets it!【laughing and crying emoji】

T/n: New chapter is up 🎉🤩 And our little LingLing is getting some subconscious about his new boyfriend but he is too distracted to catch them or busy kissing😏🤣🤣🤣 but yeah He Yi sure is going through the greatest evolution of his life- from not being a Pervert to being the greatest pervert of all time that even author was forced to name this novel ‘I have Seven Gongs in holographic game’ Lol 🤣. Stay tuned for more Chaos, 😉🎉. You can support the original author here. If you’re enjoying what I’m doing you can buy me a Ko-fi. Happy Reading 🎈😁.