Ever since Xu Fangtong appeared, this part of my job had been canceled.
I still followed him around, but I now had a few more days off each month.
My colleagues were envious, thinking it was Shen Jinzhou’s special treatment towards me.
Only I knew that these were the days when he met with Xu Fangtong.
Every time, he would return smelling of her perfume.
When Shen Jinzhou mentioned “just a fling,” I realized he must have been referring to me.
At that moment, it felt like a heavy stone was dragging my heart deep into an abyss again.

I don’t know how long passed before the door opened.
His mother stood before me, her smile unchanged as she handed me a card.
“Forget about the remaining medical expenses. This is compensation for the past few years. He may have mistreated you, but I won’t. You’ve taken good care of him, and you deserve this.”

I stared blankly into the air, as if I could still see the back of Shen Jinzhou walking away.
It took all my strength not to chase after him.
The demon in my heart had begun to claw at its cage, restless to break free.
I heard my own voice drifting, “There’s no need, Madam. I was only fulfilling the agreement.”

5

On the way back, memories from the past kept flashing in my mind.
I had worked multiple jobs, tirelessly hustling.
I would fill my stomach with bread and water, and sleep in smoky bars.
I needed money—lots of it—to save my only family, my grandmother.

Someone introduced me to underground fighting, saying it was a quick way to make money.
If you could fight and avoid being knocked out, you could earn money.
If lucky enough to meet a wealthy sponsor, maybe the medical expenses for my grandmother would be covered.
I was tempted.

Fighting? That was my skill.
Taking a beating? I was even better at that.
Since childhood, my father’s fists never stopped. He drove away my mother and destroyed our family.
Grandma tried to protect me, but she was beaten too.
One night, he got drunk and drowned.

Grandma, despite her old age, scrimped and saved to put me through school.
But I didn’t realize then that children’s innocence could also be cruel.
They found excuses to bully me, leaving me bruised and battered.
Endless patience and avoidance only made them bolder.
So I fought back.

That was the first time I realized they could be afraid, too.
They feared death.
But I wasn’t afraid. And that’s how I made a name for myself in the fighting scene.

Then I met Shen Jinzhou.
Dressed in a tailored suit with polished shoes and a perfect smile, he looked like a model stepping out of a poster—completely out of place in the filthy underground fight ring.
He said he needed a bodyguard and asked if I’d work for him.
I looked him straight in the eye. “I need money—a lot of money.”
He laughed. “I’ll give you money, but what will you give me in return?”
“I’ll give myself to you.”
He tilted his chin up, grinning. “Kneel and beg me, and I’ll consider it.”
Without hesitation, I knelt, and he was taken aback.

How could a golden boy like him ever understand the agony of someone struggling in the mud?
What is dignity?
Can dignity save my grandmother?

From that moment, I became his bodyguard in name and his lover in secret.
I was his purchased “plaything.”
Shen Jinzhou occasionally showed kindness by rescuing a stray dog, earning its undying loyalty.
Even after my grandmother passed away, I still stayed by his side.
But in the end, I was not a dog.

I wanted to reclaim the dignity that had been trampled.
I, too, had a heart. I could feel pain, and I could be hurt.

6

On the way home, Shen Jinzhou called, ordering me to return quickly for dinner.
When I opened the door, the lights were off, with only a few faint glimmers in the dark.
There were candles lit on the table, and Shen Jinzhou was smiling at me.
“Where did you go?”
I handed him the flowers.

His eyes lit up, and he joyfully hugged the bouquet of roses, as if they were some kind of treasure instead of mere flowers.
He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent, and the red roses only made his smile appear more vibrant.
“Ah Xuan! I thought you’d forgotten what day it was today! It’s our five-year anniversary since we met!”
I was startled. I had indeed forgotten.

Shen Jinzhou had an unusual obsession with certain things, like celebrating random anniversaries.
Sometimes his actions gave me the illusion that we were lovers.
But an illusion is just that—an illusion that would eventually shatter.

Buying flowers was just an excuse for me to go out.
No matter what I gave him, he would always happily accept it.
And no matter what he truly thought, he always acted like he was madly in love with me.

He served me steak. “I made it. Try it.”
Shen Jinzhou rarely ever stepped into the kitchen.
He was a neat freak and despised the smell of oil and smoke.
Who knew what got into him today.

His dining etiquette was impeccable, elegant like a nobleman.
With a big smile and eyes full of expectation, he said, “You said you had something to tell me. You can say it now.”
I organized my thoughts, cutting the steak as if I were cutting into my own heart.
Piece by piece, it crumbled, oozing faint traces of red.

You don’t love me.
So why lie to me?

The demon inside me was howling, demanding I punish the person sitting in front of me.
I restrained myself, holding back the many things I wanted to say and ask.
In the end, I only said one sentence.
“I want to leave.”

“Clank—”
Shen Jinzhou’s knife scraped against the plate, his expression darkening. He asked coldly, “What did you say?”
“I don’t want to be your bodyguard anymore.”
He was momentarily stunned, then smiled. “I thought it was something serious. If you don’t want to, then don’t.”
We locked eyes, and I calmly said, “Since I’m no longer your bodyguard, I have no reason to stay by your side.”

Shen Jinzhou rested his chin on his hand, smiling lightly. “How could that be? You can focus on being my lover.”
Under the table, his foot teasingly slid up my leg, stopping on my knee.
He tilted his head, looking as docile as a cat begging for affection, his gaze affectionate and seductive.

Without any change in my expression, I grasped his ankle.
“And after you get married, what will that make me? Your mistress?”
Shen Jinzhou’s face darkened, and he suddenly sat up straight.