Chapter 6: Only One Egg Per Visit

Although Fu Yuanhang didn’t particularly like his sister-in-law, he had been influenced by his mother’s subtle encouragement to tolerate her more. As long as she didn’t keep scheming to sell Chenchen, he wouldn’t make a fuss.

“It’s Aunt, she comes to our house to use the bathroom at this time every day. You haven’t encountered her because you’ve never woken up this early,” Fu Yuanhang explained.

It wasn’t a complaint, nor a reproach; Fu Yuanhang was simply stating a fact.

Su Taotao opened her mouth to speak but stayed silent. Waking up at the crack of dawn? That was nothing—original owner had done much stranger things. This was nothing in comparison.

She casually asked, “Doesn’t she have a toilet at home?”

Fu Yuanhang shook his head. “Our house is the only one in the entire village with a squat toilet.”

It wasn’t hard to guess: It was because of the strong request from Fu Yuanhang’s elder brother during their wedding to have one installed, Fu Yuanhang thought, not without a touch of bitterness, as it had cost quite a bit of money.

Su Taotao realized that her question had been a bit pointless. This was the 1970s—every household had a chamber pot for peeing, and most people had an outhouse for their larger needs. Building a separate toilet was often necessary for storage of organic fertilizer since everyone’s small plots of land needed it.

A bad feeling crept over her, and she asked, “Other than Aunt, no one else comes to our house to use the toilet, right?”

Just as Fu Yuanhang was about to answer, several more aunts entered, arguing over who would get to use the toilet first.

Aunt A said, “Oh, my pickled vegetables might have gone bad, my stomach has been growling all morning! Sorry, but can I go first?”

Aunt B retorted, “No way! I was here first, and I’m in a hurry! If I wasn’t in a rush, would I be up this early?”

Aunt C chimed in, “Yeah, first come, first served. If you can’t hold it, go to the outhouse. There’s no cutting in line!”

Aunt A squeezed forward, pleading, “Why are you all like this? If I could use the outhouse, I wouldn’t be wasting fertilizer here! Please, I really can’t hold it anymore…”

Aunt B and Aunt C immediately shoved her to the back, speaking in unison, “No!”

Su Taotao stared at them, wondering: Did they even ask the owner of this house for permission to use the bathroom?

Clearing her throat, she crossed her arms and walked up to them, blocking their path with a bright smile. “Good morning, Aunties.”

Seeing who it was, the aunts’ eyes widened. The argument ceased abruptly, as if someone had choked them.

Aunt A pointed at her, stammering, “Y-y-you… you’re Chenchen’s mother? What are you doing here?”

Su Taotao laughed at the question. “I should be asking you that. Did you forget this is my house?”

Aunt A pouted, thinking to herself: She remembers it’s her house? We never see her around.

It wasn’t surprising that the aunts had forgotten about her; the original owner rarely showed up at home, so they hadn’t seen her in ages.

Aunt B, more perceptive, said, “It’s been a while since I’ve seen Comrade Su. You’re looking more and more beautiful!”

Aunt B had meant it casually, but when she looked again, she was struck by how Su Taotao seemed to glow—was she a fairy descending from heaven?

The other aunts, hearing this, looked at Su Taotao more carefully. Indeed, with her peach blossom complexion and smooth, porcelain skin, she stood in the sunlight looking more beautiful than ever. Surrounded by the weathered, sun-baked faces of the laborers, the contrast was striking. Was this really the same woman? She looked like a celestial being descending to earth.

Aunt C, regaining her senses, said, “City girls are different. They look so pretty, and even their toilets are so nice to use. Is anyone in there? Can we use the bathroom first?”

Su Taotao, taken aback, thought, “Uh-oh, I forgot to make myself look ugly before stepping out.” It was the first time in her life she had seen how striking her bare face was. What could she do now? She had no choice but to look grumpy, put on a harsh expression, and try to downplay her beauty.

She wiped the smile off her face, placed her hands on her hips, and pointed a finger at them. “What’s going on here? You’re coming to my house early in the morning, treating it like a public toilet? I haven’t even used the bathroom yet, and here you are, stinking up my yard! Do you think I’m going to eat my breakfast with all this stench? Get out! We don’t welcome you here, go back to where you came from!”

The aunts were taken aback, stunned by her harsh words.

Aunt A was the first to react. “Hey, what’s wrong with you? We’re just here to bring you some fertilizer for your crops, and instead of thanking us, you’re accusing us of making the place stink?”

Aunt B added, “Yeah! We knew your family was short on labor, so we thought we’d help you out, and now you’re shouting at us?”

Aunt C chimed in, “And you’re supposed to be a high school-educated youth! We’ve been coming to your mother-in-law’s house all the time without her complaining. Why are you talking like this? You sound like a crazy woman!”

Su Taotao wasn’t angry. She wasn’t great at yelling and causing a scene, but the moment called for it. She spread her hands and made a money-grabbing motion with her thumb and index finger.

“Ah, so you’re all so kind, huh? Well, my family is in need of more than just fertilizer—we need money too! Look at how skinny Chenchen is, he’s starving! Why don’t you be generous and give us some money? Not just a handout—let’s make a deal. Every time you come to use the bathroom, you pay a dime. If you get a monthly pass, I’ll even give you a discount—two yuan for the whole month. How does that sound?”

Aunt A’s stomach was indeed feeling a bit uncomfortable. After hearing Su Taotao’s words, her blood pressure soared, “You, you, you…” She blushed for a long time, and before finishing her sentence, she covered her backside and ran away in a hurry—she was just too urgent!

Aunt B immediately jumped up, her words turning into a shrill scream: “Two yuan? Have you gone mad wanting money? Why don’t you go rob someone!”

Her entire family worked for a month’s wages, living frugally, and they didn’t even have two yuan left. And now, to use the toilet, she was being asked to pay two yuan—this was simply asking for her life!

Aunt B looked at Su Taotao’s “ugly” face and thought to herself that she must have been blind earlier to think that Su Taotao had become as beautiful as a fairy. This greedy look on her face was even uglier than the old woman selling bean curd skins at the village entrance!

Aunt C pointed at Su Taotao: “You must have fallen into the river yesterday and messed up your brain. Go see Dr. Huang Liu for some medicine! If you dare charge us, I’ll report you to the commune for cutting off the tail of capitalism!”

Su Taotao nodded: “You’re right, charging money is inappropriate. Then how about I charge one egg for each use? If it’s a monthly pass, I’ll give you twenty eggs.”

In those days, eggs were considered hard currency.

Aunt C scoffed and pulled Aunt B over: “Hmph, Dr. Huang Liu only charges five eggs for a consultation. What makes you think you can charge? Let’s go back, the bathroom is still available at home. We can save our fertilizer for our own vegetable patch. We can’t let someone with a brain full of water get the better of us!”

Su Taotao watched them leave, bending over with laughter. She shouted, “Hey, aunts, you’re really not going to use the toilet? The outhouse smells terrible, but one egg is really worth it. Don’t forget to help me spread the word and bring more people to use our toilet. No matter who comes, I’ll only charge one egg. Fair to everyone, no cheating!”

The two aunts stumbled, almost tripping over the threshold, and turned back to glare at Su Taotao angrily.

It wasn’t like they were sick or didn’t have their own outhouse. Who else in the production team had a brain full of water if not Su Taotao?

Sure enough, within ten minutes, everyone in the production team was gossiping that Su Taotao must have had her brain damaged when she fell into the river yesterday, and now she was charging an egg for people to use her toilet!

From then on, no one dared to use Su Taotao’s toilet anymore.

Of course, that’s another story.

Aunt’s mother-in-law, who had been in the toilet listening to the whole conversation, had been in there for quite some time but was too scared to come out, fearing Su Taotao might charge her an egg.

Finally, Su Taotao, unable to hold it in anymore, knocked on the door: “Aunt, you didn’t fall into the toilet, did you? If you don’t come out soon, I’ll kick the door down!”

Aunt’s mother-in-law had no choice but to open the door, not daring to raise her head to look at Su Taotao, leaving a quick “I have something at home” and running out of the yard, her speed rivaling when she came in.

Neither Su Taotao nor Zhou Linglan or Fu Yuanhang liked these people coming to use their toilet.

Since they had built the squat toilet, people had been coming and going all day, claiming to bring fertilizer to the family. But the fertilizer from the compost pit was all taken back to water their own vegetables. Zhou Linglan had never used it.

Zhou Linglan was soft-spoken and didn’t want to create conflict with the villagers, so she would always greet them with a smile, even though she didn’t like it. Fu Yuanhang had complained several times, but everyone treated him like a child and ignored him. They also worried about making things difficult for his mother, so he had kept quiet.

Today, he truly saw the saying “Bad people will always meet their match” come to life.

To deal with these people, you really had to use extreme measures.

Fu Yuanhang looked thoughtfully at Su Taotao, who was smiling and trying to get Chenchen to wash his face and brush his teeth. Maybe his sister-in-law really had gone mad? It seemed like her madness was quite effective.