Chapter 11: Letter from Zhong Youliang

He Yashu was rare enjoying a quiet moment of leisure.

Suddenly, she remembered the letter she received today and hurriedly took it out to read.

—–

Comrade He Jingshu:

Hello!

I am sorry to write to you so late.

I still remember the year I was called back by the superiors and didn’t get a chance to say much to you. I didn’t expect to be separated for four years. I guess you must be very disappointed and desperate because I did not fulfill my responsibilities as a husband. I want to say sorry to you!

There are many things in life that we cannot control. In my position, I have to stand firm at my post. For the sake of everyone else, I had to sacrifice our small family. I hope you can understand and forgive me. After all, without the big family, there is no small family.

A few days ago, I met a fellow townsman. He told me you gave birth to a daughter for me. I was very happy and excited. At the same time, I feel very sorry for you and our daughter. I can only be thankful that comrades have been sending you the allowance regularly every month. If possible, I would like to invite you to come see me; the child has never seen her father.

He Yashu, you don’t have to work. My allowance can support you and the child. I have been promoted recently and my allowance increased by five yuan. Although I am not by your side, I don’t want you to suffer any grievances.

If possible, please tell our daughter that I love her very much. When you come, I want to hold her in my hands and not let her suffer any hardship. Sorry, I am starting to ramble.

Soon it will be my turn for guard duty, so I’ll end the letter here. If you are willing, please reply to me at this address.

June 1, 1964
Zhong Youliang

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He Yashu was not usually someone who cried easily, but after reading this poorly written letter, her eyes were moist. Zhong Youliang was clearly forced to marry the original owner (the first wife). Unexpectedly, he did not blame the original owner at all, and could still write such a sincere letter to her. She couldn’t help but admire Zhong Youliang; this man had a strong sense of responsibility. She seemed to see the figure of a man protecting his country, promoted and resolute. After thinking about it, she took up her pen to reply.

—-

Comrade Zhong Youliang:

Hello!

I am honored to receive your letter. To be honest, I am not a qualified wife. Over the years, I have taken out my resentment towards you on your parents and the child.

Recently, when I looked at our daughter Zhong Ling, I saw fear in her eyes. She is already three years old, but due to my negligence, she is thin and small, like a two-year-old. I realized how unfit I am and have awakened from my mistake. Fortunately, our daughter is kind-hearted, and now our relationship is close. I am very touched.

I resented you because my thoughts were not noble enough. Our daughter asked me: why hasn’t she ever seen her dad? Does dad not love her? I know many things about your work are secret. After thinking, I simply introduced your job to her, saying you protect our country, you are our hero. She is happy to have a father like you, and I am glad she understands it so well. But I also feel sorry for our daughter — so mature at such a young age. You should understand.

Comrade Zhong Youliang, I think I understand your job better and better, and I am proud of you. The farm work will begin soon. I won’t work but will help my brother and sister-in-law take care of the children and cook for them. When the farming season ends, I will take our daughter to see you.

As for me, I have cut ties with my foster parents. I dislike who I was when I was not clear-headed. Now I am fully awake. I will take good care of you, the parents, and the child. Please do not worry about us. Everything at home is fine.

July 1, 1964
He Yashu

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He Yashu put away the letter, planning to send it from the county town. Through these letters, she could understand the helplessness of this profession. Since she decided to live properly, as long as the other party did not make fundamental mistakes, she would work hard to maintain this marriage.