Chapter 9

Chen Kuo,

Hello!

This is the first time I’ve written to you in three years—perhaps it’s a bit late. People need to keep growing in order to mature!

The person I am now is fully capable of being your support from the rear. Please rest assured and focus on defending the country and protecting the people. I will take good care of our home, raise and nurture our children, and look after and honor Mother. I will get along harmoniously with Big Brother, Sister-in-law, Second Brother, and Second Sister-in-law.

I believe that when you return, we will all be different. Our marriage began out of our own individual reasons.

But now that we are husband and wife, and have children together, I want to properly build our marriage with you—to create a happy family for our children.

If you feel the same way, then during the days when we still cannot meet, let us maintain this special way of being together.

I will share with you everything happening at home—the bits and pieces of our children growing up. I also hope you’ll tell me about your hardships, the ones you have no one else to confide in.

Though I may not be able to ease your burdens, at the very least, I will be the most qualified listener—your emotional anchor and sense of belonging.

Alright, that’s all for the first letter. The following part is what Ruiduo and Fei’an told me to write on their behalf.

Gu Zhenqi paused her pen and looked gently at Ruiduo and Fei’an, who were cherishing their chocolate, licking it carefully, with their little mouths and noses smudged.

She smiled happily and pulled out a handkerchief to gently wipe their faces clean:
“Ruiduo baby, Fei’an sweetheart, no need to eat so sparingly. Mommy has prepared a lot more for you. If you want more, just ask Mommy.”

Gu Zhenqi really adored her children. They truly were her own—every bit as frugal as she was.

But…

Why were her daughter and son only frugal with her?

Seeing the two children looking up at her with their big, dark, grape-like eyes, Gu Zhenqi repeated, “Be good! Eat up!”

To convince them, she took out two more chocolate sticks and placed one in each of their little hands.

With extra in hand, Ruiduo took a satisfying bite. Her little face suddenly filled with regret. She held her licked chocolate out to Gu Zhenqi and said,
“Mommy, you eat. Ruiduo couldn’t help it and took a bite first.”

Gu Zhenqi didn’t mind at all. She took a small bite and smiled gently,
“Now that Ruiduo bit it first, it tastes even sweeter! Go on and eat.”

Fei’an, listening to Mommy’s words, seemed to understand. He stopped handing her his chocolate, took a bite himself, then gave it back to her, eyes full of expectation.

Seeing her son’s actions, she chuckled inwardly in embarrassment and thought, This child is teachable.

She took a polite nibble and praised him the same way:
“Sweet! After Mommy’s Fei’an sweetheart bit it, it became even sweeter!”

And just like that, thanks to Gu Zhenqi’s well-meaning encouragement, Ruiduo and Fei’an developed a habit: before sharing food with her, they would always take a bite first.

She patiently waited for them to finish eating, then wiped them clean with sterilized wet wipes.

“Ruiduo, Fei’an, let’s write a letter to Daddy now. Mommy has finished her part—just waiting for yours.”

Ruiduo nodded, a bit puzzled, and asked:
“Mommy, what’s writing a letter? I don’t know Daddy.”

Fei’an echoed:
“Fei’an doesn’t know Daddy either.”

“Writing a letter means putting what you want to say to Daddy on paper and giving it to the postman. They’ll deliver the letter to Daddy so he knows that Ruiduo and Fei’an miss him. Daddy will be really happy and he’ll write back to tell you how much he misses you too.”

“Oh, Mommy, I get it now. But… I still don’t know what to say!” said Ruiduo.

Fei’an didn’t echo this time. Gu Zhenqi noticed—her son was clearly a doting brother.

He always gave in to his sister, even when eating chocolate—letting her lick more so she could enjoy it longer, then giving her the remaining half as if it were a game.

Gu Zhenqi waited a while, but Fei’an remained silent. She finally asked,
“Fei’an sweetheart, what do you want to say to Daddy?”

“…When are you coming home?”

After holding it in for so long, Fei’an finally whispered the words like a tiny mosquito.

“Alright. Mommy will write that in the letter. Daddy will definitely see it!”

Gu Zhenqi picked up her pen again. Her handwriting, like her personality, was delicate yet full of quiet strength and confidence.

Seeing Mommy write for her brother, Ruiduo immediately said,
“Mommy, I want to write too. Ask him, does he miss Ruiduo?”

Gu Zhenqi wrote both their messages down and asked,
“Anything else? You can say anything you want. Whatever Ruiduo and Fei’an say, I think Daddy will love reading it.”

Ruiduo’s eyes lit up:
“Really, Mommy? Anything?”

Gu Zhenqi nodded firmly:
“Anything. As long as it’s what Ruiduo and Fei’an want to tell Daddy.”

Ruiduo thought for a moment and said:
“How do you stop candy from melting? Mine melted while I was licking it.”

Fei’an said:
“I want to beat Tie Tou. His head’s too hard. He always bumps into my tummy and it hurts.”

Ruiduo added:
“Do you not want me and Brother anymore? People in the village say we’re children no one wants. Is that true? Why don’t you come home? I don’t even need you to bring candy!”

Fei’an said:
“Do you know how to make little wooden swords or grasshoppers out of straw? Tie Dan has them. He says his dad is also making him a slingshot.”

Ruiduo:
“Don’t drink the pickled water by the window where you dry veggies—it’s salty! You’ll be thirsty all day!”

Fei’an:
“Don’t kick stones with your toe poking out of your shoe—it hurts too much. Also…”

“…”

What began as two children unsure of what to say quickly turned into a non-stop stream of soft, milky voices as they poured out all the thoughts in their hearts.

Gu Zhenqi kept writing, while pulling out fresh organic juice she had stored in her space and feeding them sips between sentences.

Before she knew it, she had filled seven or eight pages with dense writing.

When Ruiduo and Fei’an’s little voices turned hoarse, Gu Zhenqi immediately grew distressed and placed a platter of fruit in front of them.

“That’s enough for today’s letter to Daddy. Eat some fruit, babies—your little voices are getting hoarse.”

After settling the children, Gu Zhenqi returned to finish the letter:

—-

As for the children’s words, I’ll stop here for now. Their little voices are hoarse. Comrade Chen Kuo, feeling a little heartache, aren’t you?

Take care of yourself. Everything is well at home. I will guard it in your place—rest assured!

Comrade Chen Kuo, thank you for your hard work. We’re waiting for your safe return.

Sincerely,
Salute!

Your wife,
Gu Zhenqi
June 28, 1978