Chapter 1 – Starting Off by Being Married to a Fool

“He’s a little slow in the head, sure, but he’s pure! A man like that is better—better than one who’s out messing around all day!”

“He’s the only son in his family. Once you marry in, won’t they treat you like a precious young madam? Whatever you say goes!”

“You won’t find a marriage this good even if you search with a lantern! You have no idea how many people envy your luck!”

Xu Nuo sat expressionlessly at the edge of the hospital bed, listening to Liang Xiulan’s mouth—which could talk a corpse back to life—going on and on, praising the fool son of the clothing factory director like he was some kind of flower.

There was no need to dig around for gossip. Everyone in the surrounding villages knew the fool still wet the bed at eighteen, and at twenty, mistook sheep droppings on the ground for black beans and stuffed them into his mouth.

If this marriage was so good, why didn’t you marry your own daughter off to him?

All for a 500-yuan bride price—she really was pulling out all the stops!

“Nuo Nuo? Did you hear what Second Aunt just said?” Seeing that Xu Nuo still hadn’t responded, Liang Xiulan was clearly running out of patience.

Xu Nuo stood up, stretched her stiff back, and rubbed her wrist. “Are you done talking now?”

Liang Xiulan was stunned. “Yes… I’m done.”

“Good!” Xu Nuo rolled up her sleeves, bent down, grabbed the broomstick by the bed, and charged straight at Liang Xiulan.

Startled, Liang Xiulan shrieked and fled.

But she wasn’t watching her step and tripped over the threshold, falling face-first into the yard like a pile of dog crap.

She rolled on the ground and scrambled to her feet, hands on her hips, ready to explode. “You think you’ve got backing just because that old hag’s still alive? She won’t last more than a few days. You’d better open your eyes and see the truth! I’m warning you, Xu Nuo—don’t you dare act out again! You want to hit me with a broom? Try it, just try it!”

Xu Nuo smiled, eyes curving into perfect crescent moons. A direct challenge?

Well then, I’ll gladly fulfill your wish.

Just as Liang Xiulan was mid-rant—whoosh!—the broomstick flew through the air and landed squarely on her shiny bald forehead, instantly raising a lump the size of an egg.

“Aiyooo! That hurts like hell… What is this rebellion?! Xu Lao’er, come get your niece!”

Taking advantage of the chaos, Xu Nuo slammed the door shut with a loud bang, poured a cup of hot water, and helped the frail old lady on the bed take a sip.

“Nuo Nuo…” Old Madam Lin’s breath was already shallow, her time clearly near. She gripped Xu Nuo’s hand tightly, repeating her instructions, “Once I’m gone, you must take that thing and go to Beijing to find them! Your beast of a second uncle and that snake of a second aunt will do anything. I’m afraid if you wait too long, you won’t even be able to get out the door!”

She’d been saying this over and over these past few days. Xu Nuo had memorized it by heart.

She gently stroked the old woman’s hand. “Grandma, I remember everything you told me.”

But Old Madam Lin still wasn’t at ease. Gasping for breath, she continued, “That thing holds your whole future—keep it safe. Don’t let that pair of snakes get their hands on it!”

Xu Nuo nodded.

Though in her heart, she thought: They already did.

A week ago, she had transmigrated here. Through the original host’s memories and her own observations over the past days, she now had a clear picture of the family’s situation.

Old Madam Lin had two sons. The eldest and his wife had died in a major flood over a decade ago, leaving behind their three-year-old daughter, Xu Nuo, whom the old woman raised on her own.

The year Xu Nuo was born, the family had arranged a childhood engagement for her and even kept the marriage contract. The “thing” Old Madam Lin kept mentioning was that very contract.

She wanted Xu Nuo to take it and go to the military compound in Beijing to find the Lu family and fulfill the engagement.

But the original Xu Nuo had a timid personality. Before the contract had even warmed in her hands, her aunt and uncle discovered it and tried to snatch it. In the struggle, she hit the back of her head and fell unconscious for two days.

By the time she opened her eyes again, someone else had taken her place—Xu Nuo had died.

And in those two days, Xu Shan had taken the contract, left the village overnight, and boarded the train to Beijing to marry into the Lu family in Xu Nuo’s place.

As for Xu Nuo, she had been left behind—sold by Uncle Xu and Aunt Liang for 500 yuan to become the wife of the fool from the town’s clothing factory.

After Old Madam Lin gave her final instructions, it was as if all her strength had been used up. With a gurgling sound in her throat, she closed her eyes forever.

Xu Nuo didn’t leave right after the old lady passed, as instructed. She could feel the deep bond between the original host and the elderly woman, so she stayed to take care of the funeral arrangements.

On the evening of the burial, she overheard Xu Lao’er and Liang Xiulan scheming inside the house.

“Lao’er, ever since Xu Nuo hit her head the other day, she’s been like a completely different person! She used to be soft as cotton, easy to manipulate however we wanted. But now that mouth of hers is poisonous—she talks like she wants to choke someone to death! And she’s actually hitting people now!”

“This won’t be easy. I already took the money. If she refuses to marry…”

“Like she gets a choice? If you ask me, we should just tie her up and starve her for a few days. When the other family comes to fetch her, we throw her on the ox cart and be done with it! What’s the point of wasting breath?”

“You’ve got a point. Let’s do it.”

Before the words had even finished leaving their mouths, BANG—Xu Nuo kicked the door open, startling the two of them so badly they almost fell off the kang.

“You little wretch! Trying to scare us to death?!” Liang Xiulan clutched her chest and cursed.

Xu Nuo glanced at the two of them, then tilted her head slightly. She forced out two teardrops and said sweetly, “Second Uncle, Second Aunt, now that Grandma’s passed, I have no one left but you two to rely on. If you say I should marry, then I’ll marry.”

Xu Lao’er was stunned—what the hell kind of act was this?

A personality switch?

Liang Xiulan, on the other hand, was overjoyed. “Aiya, it’s great that you’ve come around! I’ve been saying it’s a good match—marry into that family and you’ll live a good life. Don’t worry, if they mistreat you, your uncle and I will stand up for you!”

Xu Nuo smiled broadly. “Thank you, Second Aunt!”

“What’s there to thank? We’re all family.”

Xu Nuo nodded, then held out her hand. “Since I’m getting married, it’s tradition in the village for aunts to give some wedding money to the bride. Auntie, can I ask you for fifty yuan? Not too much, right?”

“What?” Liang Xiulan hadn’t expected her to ask for money. “Xu Nuo, have you gone mad thinking about money? Fifty yuan? No way!”

“Xu Shan took the money and ration tickets that Grandma left for my dowry when she went to Beijing. That was supposed to be for me. Now I’m just asking you for some money—how is that unreasonable?”

Xu Lao’er waved his hand impatiently. “No money. Just forget it. You’re marrying into the clothing factory family—do you think you’ll go hungry there?”

“Exactly!”

“You two sold me for five hundred yuan but can’t even spare fifty for me? As if marrying a fool wasn’t humiliating enough, now you’re pushing me to the edge! Fine, tonight I’ll hang myself!”

Liang Xiulan sneered, “You think I believe that?”

Xu Nuo smiled too. “Believe it or not, that’s your choice. If I die, how are you going to explain it to the other family?”

As she spoke, she scanned the room as if seriously searching for a good spot. Her eyes finally landed on the wooden beam above Liang Xiulan’s kang. “That spot looks good. I’ll hang myself from that beam tonight. If I die, I’ll haunt you both every single day!”

Liang Xiulan’s spine tingled.

Normally, she’d brush off such threats. But Xu Nuo had hit her head—what if she really was crazy enough to do it?

Xu Lao’er seemed to be considering the same thing.

The couple exchanged a look. In the end, Xu Lao’er gave in. “Fine, we’ll give you fifty. But you better behave after that!”

“Of course. I always keep my word,” Xu Nuo said with a wide grin.

Five minutes later, she strutted out of the room, fifty yuan clenched tightly in her hand.

“Xu Nuo!” Liang Xiulan called out behind her, pointing toward the kitchen. “Your uncle and I have been working all day—we’re exhausted. Go cook dinner!”

Fifty yuan—it still made her heart ache!

She wasn’t about to let that money go to waste.

Xu Nuo turned her head and smiled sweetly, patting the pouch in her pocket. “Don’t worry—I’ll make sure to take great care of you and Uncle.”