“……”

Sang Zhi uttered a sound of surprise, retracting her gaze and nodding slowly.

She lowered her head, pondering the meaning of his words.

She thought he had long forgotten about it, or perhaps had never taken it seriously. Moreover, Sang Zhi had never seen him mention having a girlfriend, nor had she seen him show one to her.

Then, who was the person at the airport before?

Sang Zhi looked at him again and couldn’t help but ask, “What about the one before?”

Duan Jiaxu asked, “Which one?”

“The one,” Sang Zhi played with her fingers, pretending to ask casually, though she wasn’t sure if bringing up something so old would seem strange, “the one who came to the airport with you when I came in Yihe in my first year of high school.”

“When you were in high school?”

“……” Sang Zhi hesitated for a few seconds and had to be more precise to jog his memory, “The time I came over to meet my online crush.”

Duan Jiaxu remembered. “She’s my boss.”

Sang Zhi pursed her lips, continuing to ask awkwardly, “Then why did she come with you?”

“Back then, I couldn’t drive yet.” Duan Jiaxu recalled, not remembering much from three years ago. “And I think I had pulled an all-nighter and wasn’t feeling well.”

“……”

“When your brother called me, she happened to overhear our conversation and offered to give me a ride.” Duan Jiaxu turned his head to look at her and added casually, “Her child is in primary school now.”

Sang Zhi’s thoughts momentarily went blank, suddenly recalling that difficult period in her life and all the memories she had locked away in a box.

She remembered the deliberate distancing.

She remembered the one-sided love she had initiated and ended on her own.

Sang Zhi nodded silently and absentmindedly asked, “Then why haven’t you found someone yet?”

Duan Jiaxu replied casually, “Your brother hasn’t either.”

“……” Sang Zhi recalled what her roommates had said, her expression complex. “You can’t be waiting for my brother, right…..?”

Duan Jiaxu laughed. “What are you talking about?”

Sang Zhi whispered, “I just think it’s strange.”

“I didn’t have time right after graduation.” Duan Jiaxu said nonchalantly, “My boss introduced me to some women in the past, but I didn’t find anyone I liked.”

Sang Zhi made a sound of acknowledgment and didn’t ask further.

The plane took off and the flight attendant handed out blankets.

Sang Zhi asked for one, covered her head, and pretended to sleep. Her head leaned towards the window, eyes opening and closing quickly a few times.

She seemed to be thinking.

After a while, Sang Zhi lowered her head slightly.

What used to feel like scars now strangely felt like they had been filled with honey. She bit her lip hard, but the corners of her mouth hidden under the blanket still curved up uncontrollably.

Without a sound.

———pr


The plane landed in Yihe City.

Before getting off the plane, Sang Zhi heard the man named Yuan Lang ask Duan Jiaxu for his contact information. Then she and Duan Jiaxu found a place to have lunch before he took her back to her school.

It was just past one o’clock and only Ning Wei was in the dormitory.

Sang Zhi’s dorm building had no elevator and she lived on the third floor. Duan Jiaxu carried her suitcase up but didn’t stay long. He politely greeted Ning Wei and reminded Sang Zhi of a few things before leaving.

Once he was gone, Ning Wei curiously asked, “In what identity did he bring you here?”

Sang Zhi squatted on the ground, opening her suitcase to start unpacking. “As an elder, I guess.”

“……” Ning Wei said, “An elder?”

Sang Zhi was silent for a few seconds. “Actually, I’m not really sure.”

Hearing that, Ning Wei immediately leaned over, blinking. “What happened?”

“I just can’t tell right now,” Sang Zhi thought for a moment, her tone somewhat hesitant, “because I feel like he used to talk like the same way too.”

“Huh?”

“But it also feels different.”

“Did he say something to you?”

Sang Zhi stopped what she was doing and whispered, “He told me he hasn’t been in a relationship these past few years. He said he couldn’t find someone he liked.”

“Wait, so did he never date before?” Ning Wei was shocked. “It can’t be, right?”

“I don’t know about that.” Sang Zhi added, “I can’t just ask him everything outright.”

“Then what do you mean by you can’t tell?”

“When I was younger, he talked to me like that too. Like when he drove me home, he would ask why I was smiling secretly, or say that I blushed whenever I saw him.” Sang Zhi scratched her head, “He was a pretty shameless person.”

“……”

“Recently, I feel like he’s getting worse.” Sang Zhi sighed. “I just can’t tell. You know, it’s also possible I might be overthinking it……”

“Do you think he might also like you a bit?”

“No.” Sang Zhi immediately denied, “Not really.”

“……”

Noticing Ning Wei’s expression, Sang Zhi stared at her for a few seconds and then suddenly gave in, “Okay, maybe a little.”

“Why are you afraid to even think about it? You’re not lacking in any way.”

“Because I feel it’s unlikely. And besides, I’m quite clear about one thing.” Sang Zhi said softly, “Because I like him, some of his actions which might seem normal to him could be misinterpreted by me.”

“……”

Sang Zhi laughed softly. “I have quite a bit of experience with that.”

Having a secret love for someone.

Self-absorbed, yet self-deprecating.

“And besides, this relationship is already difficult to change.” Sang Zhi lowered her eyes, continuing to unpack. “If he were a stranger, I would probably just go for it. If I couldn’t get him, it wouldn’t matter and there’s nothing to fear.”

Ning Wei, not fully understanding her feelings, sighed and asked, “How many years had it been since you last saw each other before you came to Yihe?”

“It feels like I hadn’t seen him much since the second year of middle school.” Sang Zhi added, “After that, he got very busy and then moved back to Yihe.”

“When did you first meet him?”

“In my first year of middle school.”

“So you think that because he watched you grow up, it’s impossible for him to have those feelings?”

“Pretty much.”

“But if you think about it,” Ning Wei said innocently, “You didn’t see him much after the second year of middle school and only reconnected in your first year of college. How can that count as watching you grow up?”

“……”

It seemed to make some sense.

Sang Zhi didn’t know what to say for a moment and hesitated, “We did see each other a few times in between.”

“Be reasonable.” Ning Wei said, “The summer after my third year of high school my dad brought home a dog and it stuck to me like glue for a month. This winter break when I came back, it didn’t even recognize me.”

“……”

“Even a loyal animal like a dog can be like that. You’ve only seen each other a few times over the years, how can that count as watching you grow up?” Ning Wei said, “At most, he’s a person you knew when you were younger.”

“But he did give me gifts during those years.” Sang Zhi said, “And he also asked about my studies sometimes.”

“Oh.” Ning Wei said, “Then maybe he was like an online friend.”

“……”

“I’m just saying my thoughts, you can take it or leave it. My little brother is in middle school now too. If he had a friend that I know, I’d treat him like a kid.” Ning Wei continued, “If he grew up handsome and tried to pursue me……”

Sang Zhi looked at her.

Ning Wei grinned. “Sorry, but it’s really possible for me…… hehehe……”

“So what do you think,” Sang Zhi asked with hopeful eyes, “what should I do now?”

“Just go with the flow.” Ning Wei added, “Don’t always think about the age difference. Just interact normally. If he flirts with you, flirt back.”

Sang Zhi felt a bit frustrated and nodded.

“By the way, what do you mean by ‘getting worse’?” Ning Wei asked curiously, “Do you prefer the way he interacted with you before or now?”

Sang Zhi thought seriously for a moment. “I think recently it’s been a bit…… It’s hard to describe……”

She suddenly remembered Sang Yan’s comment about corny romantic lines and felt too embarrassed to say it out loud, so she vaguely said, “It was fine before.”

———pr


After returning home, Duan Jiaxu checked WeChat.

A friend request from Yuan Lang, whom he had met on the plane, popped up on his phone. Duan Jiaxu glanced at it casually, but instead of accepting, he simply exited the app.

Duan Jiaxu grabbed a change of clothes and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. Afterward, he returned to his room, planning to take a nap.

At that moment, his phone rang.

He looked at the caller ID and answered.

Qian Fei asked, “Did you arrive in Yihe?”

“Mm.”

Qian Fei sounded a bit melancholic, “How long will it be before we see each other again?”

Duan Jiaxu chuckled lazily. “If you weren’t married, I’d think you had a crush on me based on your tone.”

“Come on,” Qian Fei replied, “I was just hoping you’d move faster and bring that woman you like over so we could meet her.”

“Not happening that soon.”

Qian Fei teased, “Didn’t you say you were doing pretty well?”

“……” At that, Duan Jiaxu’s eyelids lifted and he sat up, feeling a bit indescribable. He cleared his throat lightly. “Let’s not talk about that.”

“Why not?”

“Because her type is so strange.” Duan Jiaxu said, laughing helplessly. “I’ve never met anyone like her.”

“Huh?”

“Bro,” He said, thinking of Sang Yan’s reaction when he tried to call him older brother and Sang Zhi’s behavior over the past few days, “Although it’s quite interesting, I truly……”

“……”

“Find it absurd.”

“……” Qian Fei exclaimed, “Can you freaking stop keeping me in suspense?”

Duan Jiaxu no longer felt sleepy. He got up, went to the living room, and took a pack of cigarettes from under the coffee table. Lighting one, he pondered for a moment before smiling. “It’s really tough.”

Qian Fei was going crazy. “What is?”

“She told me the type she likes.” Duan Jiaxu bit the cigarette, his expression lazy. “I’ve been learning a bit about it lately.”

Qian Fei was incredulous. “Are you alright? Why are you trying to learn from others?”

Duan Jiaxu chuckled. “Isn’t it a shortcut?”

“Is it working?”

Duan Jiaxu raised an eyebrow. “Not really.”

“So what’s your plan?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Aren’t you afraid she’ll like someone else?”

“That’s normal.” Duan Jiaxu’s lips curled slightly. “As long as she finds someone better.”

“How come you live like a monk?”

“……”

Qian Fei advised earnestly, “Why don’t you just act normally? Trying to be someone else makes you seem like a substitute. Bro, we’re not in such bad shape that we need to flatter someone like that.”

Duan Jiaxu straightened up and tapped his cigarette, letting the ash fall. He didn’t respond.

“By the way, what type did she say she likes?”

This time, Duan Jiaxu didn’t hold back, “A male vixen.”

“……”

“In my understanding, that means,” Duan Jiaxu paused for a few seconds, then continued languidly, “a combination of seductive, flirtatious, and shameless.”

Qian Fei couldn’t help but say, “Isn’t that exactly like you?”

“……” Duan Jiaxu choked on the smoke and coughed a few times. “What are you saying?”

“Let me ask you something,” Qian Fei said seriously, “I’ve never met this woman you’re talking about. Think about it, is it possible she’s describing you?”

Duan Jiaxu’s expression froze.

“Women often say one thing but mean another.” Qian Fei spoke like someone who had been through it all, “You can’t just take her words at face value. Have you seen the person she’s talking about?”

Duan Jiaxu extinguished the cigarette, looking thoughtful.

Qian Fei continued, “I used to be a spare tire in college and I did the same. Bro, do you remember? That woman from the Foreign Language Department would come to me whenever she broke up with her boyfriend. When they got back together, she’d ask if I liked anyone and give me advice. I ended up making up someone based on her personality.”

After a while, Duan Jiaxu spoke, “It’s unlikely.”

“……”

A few seconds later, he murmured, “But it’s possible.”

“Forget it, I don’t want to talk to you anymore. My wife is calling me.” Qian Fei said, “And let me remind you, you’re already that kind of person so don’t deliberately try to be like that.”

“……”

“It could come off as too much.”

“……” Duan Jiaxu said, “Wait.”

“What?”

“Did you tell anyone about this?”

Qian Fei chuckled. “No, I haven’t had the chance yet.”

“Then don’t.” Duan Jiaxu said slowly, “It’s rare for me to share something personal. If you tell others……”

“……”

“It would be quite hurtful.”

“……”

After hanging up, Duan Jiaxu sat in the living room for a while longer. He thought about what Sang Zhi had said when she was drunk, and other past events started to come to mind.

But it had been some time and the memories had faded somewhat.

Having stayed up late last night and woken up early that day, Duan Jiaxu felt a tightness in his temples and a bit of pain. He stood up, deciding not to think about it anymore.

He returned to his room and heard his phone dinged. He glanced at it.

Another friend request, this time with a note attached saying, 【It’s Jiang Ying.】

He closed his phone and lay down, closing his eyes.

He was awakened by a series of phone rings.

Sitting up, he saw that it was already dark outside and the room was pitch black except for the glowing phone screen.

The caller ID showed an unfamiliar number from Yihe City.

Duan Jiaxu stared at it for two seconds before answering.

Immediately, Jiang Ying’s crying voice came through, sounding drunk and muddled, “Duan Jiaxu, you finally answered my call…… I had to even use someone else’s number to reach you.”

“……”

“I heard from Yuan Lang that you’re chasing a woman…… Is that true?”

Duan Jiaxu’s tone was emotionless, “Do you need something?”

“I’m already like this yet you still act like nothing happened?” Jiang Ying said, “I…… I forgive you, okay? Can we…… can we—”

“Let me ask you something. Yuan Lang said we’re getting married. Did you spread that rumor?” Duan Jiaxu interrupted her, his tone flippant, “Do you actually want me to marry you?”

There was silence for a few seconds.

Jiang Ying softly answered, “Can’t we?”

The curve of Duan Jiaxu’s lips straightened and he hung up the phone. He stood up, found a tool to remove the SIM card from his phone, broke it, and threw it into the trash can.

His temples throbbed painfully and his stomach started to hurt as well.

Duan Jiaxu went into the bathroom.

Feeling extremely nauseous, he bent over and inexplicably vomited a few mouthfuls of bitter liquid. Then he turned on the faucet, rinsed his mouth, and washed his face with cold water.

After a long while, Duan Jiaxu raised his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror.

Suddenly, he laughed.

Can anyone believe it?

In this day and age, there are still people who believe that guilt should be extended to others.

———pr


The courses in the second semester of freshman year had noticeably increased. Sang Zhi’s schedule was full, with no free time except for weekends.

After the Spring Festival, Duan Jiaxu’s work also seemed busy, with endless overtime.

Both had their own things to do and their communication was basically through WeChat.

Although Ning Wei had said those things, Sang Zhi’s interactions with Duan Jiaxu hadn’t changed much from before. Perhaps because they were separated through the screen, he didn’t say inexplicable things like before.

In the blink of an eye, it was already the end of March.

They had agreed to have dinner together on Friday night. After class, Sang Zhi returned to her dormitory to put away her things and was about to leave when Duan Jiaxu called her.

Sang Zhi answered the call while taking a lipstick out of her bag and applying a thin layer on her lips.

“Where are you now?” Duan Jiaxu asked, “My team suddenly decided to have dinner together.”

Sang Zhi paused and guessed, “So I don’t need to go out?”

Duan Jiaxu casually said, “I’m asking for your opinion. If you don’t want to eat with them, we won’t go. We’ll eat something else.”

“It’s okay.” Sang Zhi didn’t really mind. “Let’s go with them.”

“Then come out.” Duan Jiaxu said, “I’m at the entrance.”

Sang Zhi hung up the phone and tidied her hair. She glanced at herself in the mirror a few more times, then quickly went out and walked towards the school gate.

Duan Jiaxu’s car was parked just outside.

Sang Zhi got in and greeted him, “Brother Jiaxu.”

After a month of not seeing each other, Duan Jiaxu’s hair had grown a bit longer, slightly covering his eyebrows. His face was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes, suggesting he had been staying up late and lacking sleep.

Duan Jiaxu responded with a hum, glanced at her, and started the car.

Sang Zhi asked, “Have everyone decided on a place for the dinner?”

Duan Jiaxu replied, “The same hotpot restaurant as last time.”

Sang Zhi nodded.

Not knowing what else to say, she lowered her head and started playing on her phone. After a while, Duan Jiaxu initiated the conversation, “Do you have many classes lately?”

“Yes.” Sang Zhi said, “My schedule is full from Monday to Friday.”

“Make sure you rest well.”

“Oh.”

After a while, Duan Jiaxu asked slowly, “Are you still seeing that male vixen?”

“……” Sang Zhi didn’t know how to answer. “Why are you asking about that?”

Duan Jiaxu smiled. “Just making conversation.”

Sang Zhi stayed silent and continued playing on her phone.

Duan Jiaxu asked again, “Is that person from your school?”

Sang Zhi honestly replied, “No.”

“Then who else could you know in Yihe?”

“……” Seeing he wouldn’t stop asking, Sang Zhi was afraid of exposing herself and turned off her phone’s screen. She stammered, “I met him outside of school.”

“I see.”

Sang Zhi breathed a sigh of relief and looked out the window.

But Duan Jiaxu went on, “How did you meet him?”

“……”

Sang Zhi felt suffocated.

Why does he have so many questions?

Sang Zhi toughened up and answered, “I met him while hanging outside campus.”

“Where did you meet him?”

“Uh, I think, it was,” Sang Zhi hesitated, “a bar, a bar near school……”

Duan Jiaxu looked ahead, recalling the time they met again outside a KTV. He suddenly curled his lips and slowly released a bait, “Really? I seem to remember you saying you met at a KTV when you were drunk.”

“……” Sang Zhi was stunned.

Did she really say that?

She! Really! Blacked! Out!

Sang Zhi was so nervous she couldn’t speak. She didn’t dare look at him, licked her lips, and changed her answer, “Oh, it seems it’s indeed in a KTV. I remembered wrong.”

There was silence for a few seconds.

Then, Sang Zhi heard Duan Jiaxu suddenly laugh.

Sang Zhi immediately looked at him, feeling guilty. “What’s so funny?”

Duan Jiaxu was still laughing faintly. He seemed to be in a great mood, his eyes bright and slightly raised. “Nothing.”

“……”

“I just suddenly thought,” Duan Jiaxu barely restrained his smile and said softly, “your Brother Qian Fei is quite smart.”

“……”

Robbin: Merry Christmas! ⋆⁺₊❅.☃︎⋆⁺₊❅.