Social Anxiety in Ancient Times
Social Anxiety in Ancient Times 15

Chapter 15

Before returning to her parental home on the third day, Li Mu had gained a preliminary understanding of King Yan’s residence. Although it was only two days and a wedding night, Li Mu experienced a lot.

For example, Nanny Zhao tried to give her a general idea of the layout of King Yan’s residence, starting with a map given by Steward Wu, specifically for her to learn the way around.

Li Mu opened the map, looked at it for a few seconds, and quietly closed it.

So big. Why would anyone live in such a huge mansion?

Coming from the modern world, Li Mu was deeply shocked.

Besides the series of houses along the central axis (*), there were buildings and gardens on the east and west sides, including a racetrack and a lake with a pavilion for winter snow viewing, summer boating, and lotus picking. Two large waterside pavilions by the lake were big enough to host banquets.

T/N: The Central Axis is a historical and cultural landmark that extends from the Yongding Gate in the south to the Bell and Drum Towers in the north. This axis is approximately 7.8 kilometers long and includes many of Beijing’s most famous landmarks, such as the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, and the Temple of Heaven.

Li Mu calculated the area of the residence based on the map’s measurements, converting the units…

Feeling dizzy, she closed her eyes. She put away the map, thinking that if conditions allowed, she could make exploring the residence part of her daily routine, giving herself something to do for the next four months. As for after four months…

She might have moved out of this mansion if Lin Que had gone.

Besides the layout of King Yan’s residence, Nanny Zhao also tried to get Li Mu to manage various household affairs.

Li Mu: “…” Do you remember I’m supposed to be a fool?

Madam Qian had indeed taught her a lot, making her understand that managing a household meant dealing with all kinds of people every day. Li Mu thought it would be simpler to just kill her.

Steward Wu and Nanny Liu supported Nanny Zhao in this matter. They seemed to hope that Li Mu could shine as the mistress of the residence. Until the third-day return, Li Mu was still in a tug-of-war with them, and the account books of the residence were still in her study.

Yes, her study.

The main house of the residence had five large rooms. The central room was the hall, the east side was Li Mu and Lin Que’s bedroom, and the west side had a study for her, separated by a screen door with a cracked ice plum pattern.

Li Mu could nap, read, write, and exercise there. She liked it very much, feeling like she had an independent small space. She even thought it would be nice to sleep there alone at night, but she hadn’t been able to say it yet.

She wasn’t sure if her insomnia affected Lin Que. She hoped it didn’t because social anxiety made her fear causing trouble for others. But she also hoped it did because if it did, Lin Que would complain, and she could then suggest moving to the study to sleep.

Li Mu did affect Lin Que’s sleep. When Li Mu couldn’t sleep, Lin Que couldn’t sleep either, but he never complained to her.

The night before the third-day return, Li Mu slept even later than usual, and Lin Que gained a deeper understanding of her fear of people.

On the day of the third-day return, the Li residence was bustling. They first met with Li Wendao and Madam Qian together, then went to see the old madam. Li Mu stayed with the old madam while Lin Que was invited to the front to talk with Li Wendao.

At the old madam’s place, besides Madam Qian and Li Mu’s two aunts, there were also her second sister-in-law and younger sister. Listening to their conversation, Li Mu realized that there were just as many people with Li Wendao, with her two uncles and brothers accompanying King Yan, their special guest.

Li Mu then understood she wasn’t the only one feeling nervous about this return visit.

After lunch, during a short rest, Li Mu and Lin Que went to the courtyard that Madam Qian had specially prepared for them.

Li Mu’s social energy was completely drained and utterly exhausted. She immediately lay on the bed, curling up with the blanket over her head, leaving only the top of her head visible.

Meanwhile, Lin Que had a guard bring him a memorial to read. After giving some instructions and handling a few matters, he walked over to the bed and patted Li Mu through the blanket.

Li Mu slowly pulled the blanket down and sat up, looking puzzled.

Lin Que asked, “How much do you know about your eldest brother?”

Li Mu: “…”

Li Mu found it hard to answer.

The old madam had three sons, and because of her superstitions, the names of the children of the three sons followed different patterns, even though they were all ranked together.

Li Mu’s third uncle’s children’s names are derived from water, like Li Yunxi. Her second uncle’s children’s names, such as Li Ying and Li Zhi, are derived from wood.

On Li Mu’s side, her eldest brother is Li Xu, and her third brother is Li Tingwu, both derived from fire.

Li Mu hadn’t interacted much with her eldest brother, Li Xu, in real life, but she knew him very well from the book.

Li Wendao was involved in the assassination of royal family members, leading to the confiscation of the Li family’s property. All males over the age of fifteen were executed. The unborn children of the Li family’s descendants died in the womb, and the youngest in the second branch, Li Zhi’s younger brother, was already fifteen.

None of them escaped.

But Li Xu did. He was the only surviving male of the Li family because his third brother, Li Tingwu, had many friends who were considered bad influences by the family. These friends, entrusted by Li Tingwu before his death, went to great lengths to help Li Xu escape.

Li Xu changed his name and fled to the border, abandoning his scholarly pursuits for a military career. After seven years of hard work in the military, he returned to the capital with military honors when Li Yunxi was eighteen, secretly reuniting with her.

In the book, Li Xu always felt guilty towards Li Yunxi—if it weren’t for his father’s involvement in the assassination, the whole family wouldn’t have suffered. So, Li Xu naturally sided with Li Yunxi and the male protagonist.

When Lin Qiwu tried to capture Li Yunxi as a hostage, it was Li Xu who saved her.

In the later part of the novel, Li Xu becomes a major force in the male protagonist’s camp and the strongest support for Li Yunxi’s rise to power—although under the schemes of the antagonist Lin Yan’an, this strong support almost becomes the biggest obstacle.

Li Mu knew what Li Xu went through in the book, but in real life, she decided to be honest: “I’m not familiar with him.”

Lin Que had guessed this. He gently tapped Li Mu’s forehead with his knuckles, “When your sister-in-law is about to give birth, will you come home to see her?”

Li Mu would definitely come back. With the poor medical conditions in ancient times, giving birth was like walking through the gates of hell. She wasn’t close to her eldest brother, but she had interacted with her sister-in-law and was cared for by her. Even if she only stood there like a pillar, she would feel more at ease.

But why did Lin Que specifically mention her eldest brother?

Seeing Li Mu’s confusion, Lin Que patiently explained, “Your eldest brother feels guilty towards you.”

Li Mu was puzzled.

Lin Que continued, “Your eldest brother learned from your third brother that your father offended the eunuch, which led the eunuch to persuade the emperor to bestow the marriage between you and me.”

During the Dragon Boat Festival, unable to get news from the palace, Li Tingwu greatly expanded his social circle, which even included some eunuchs’ adopted sons outside the palace. Thus, he managed to piece together the reasons behind Li Mu’s marriage decree.

Lin Que smoothed Li Mu’s messy hair and tucked it behind her ear.

Li Mu was gradually getting used to his touch and didn’t resist much, continuing to listen to him, “Your eldest brother then questioned your father and accidentally learned during their argument that if you hadn’t taken the letter from the study, the Li family would have been implicated in the assassination plot against me.”

Li Mu froze.

Lin Que, as if discussing the weather, said in a casual tone, “Your father seems to think that if you hadn’t given the letter to the old madam, forcing him to refrain from participating out of filial duty, with his help, they might have succeeded in killing me, and the Wen family wouldn’t have ended up in such a dire situation.”

Lin Que even smiled, “Your eldest brother resents him for not considering the family’s safety. Earlier, when he tried to make things difficult for me, your eldest brother stopped him. If I weren’t there, they might have fought.”

This development was very similar to the plot in the book, where Li Xu targeted Grand Princess Zhaoming while also resented his father for implicating the whole family. But the real question was, how did Lin Que know so much???

Li Mu stared at Lin Que in disbelief.

Like a teacher, Lin Que continued to explain, “Li Xu is grateful that you took the letter, saving the family from disaster, but he feels guilty for not being able to stop our marriage. He wants to be good to you. You don’t need to avoid him or try to please him. I’ll take care of everything for you.”

Take care of what?

Li Mu vaguely felt that Lin Que was now recruiting the main force of the male and female protagonists.

While Li Mu’s mind was overwhelmed, Lin Que continued, “The residence has a pigeon loft where news from various places is sent. I’ll have someone report the happenings in the Li family and major events in the capital to you. Nanny Liu and Steward Wu are my trusted aides. They will inform you about the affairs of the residence.”

“I know you’re afraid of people. I don’t expect you to be very sociable or force you to attend social events, but you need to be aware of what’s happening outside and the thoughts of those around you.”

“Okay?”

A similar scene seemed to have occurred on their wedding night. At that time, Lin Que said he would slowly tell Li Mu about the affairs of King Yan’s residence. Li Mu remembered that Lin Que smelled of alcohol before his bath, so even though she nodded, she didn’t take his promise seriously.

This time, when he asked Li Mu again, “Okay?” Li Mu still wasn’t sure if he was serious, but knowing it wouldn’t harm her, she nodded to Lin Que just like that night.

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