Chapter 19

Li Mu kept her word and had Nanny Liu put away the remaining wine that night so she wouldn’t have anymore. After all, she wouldn’t share the wine with Lin Que and didn’t want to be reported to Grand Princess Zhaoming for drinking wine instead of taking her medicine.

The next day, Li Mu woke up feeling mortified by her actions the previous night. She spent the morning like a wandering soul, with memories of the previous night attacking her from time to time. She kept repeating in her mind, “I shouldn’t have spoken. I shouldn’t have spoken. I should find some poison and mute myself,” while also recalling what she had said to Lin Que, especially the line—

“I will try to repay your kindness.”

The more serious and determined she had been when saying it, the more she wanted to bang her head against a wall when she remembered it.

Repay?

Li Mu covered her eyes. She really dared to say that. How could she repay? She wasn’t even sure if she could survive this winter. How could she repay?

“What’s wrong with the young lady?” Outside in the courtyard, Qianyun, seeing Li Mu covering her eyes through the window, whispered to Feixing beside her.

Next to them was Nanny Zhao, whose osmanthus preserves and jam were tastier than those bought outside. When they were still in the old lady’s courtyard, they would buy fresh osmanthus every blooming season to make preserves and jam.

This year, they didn’t need to buy any because the palace had the most fragrant golden osmanthus trees. They had a few people pick a lot, ready to clean and dry them outside to sprinkle on sweet porridge, cheese, glutinous rice lotus root, and other foods.

Hearing Qianyun’s wrong address, Nanny Zhao glared at her. Qianyun shrank her neck, lowered her head, and focused on picking osmanthus, no longer asking questions.

Sitting on the couch, Li Mu didn’t notice the commotion outside. She put down her hands, patted her face, and tried to shake off the awkwardness.

Lin Que wouldn’t live long, but there were still Grand Princess Zhaoming, Gu Chi, Lin Qiwu, and Lin Yan’an. The Li family hadn’t suffered because of their involvement in the assassination of King Yan. Li Yunxi hadn’t entered the palace as a maid and met the male lead. She could help Grand Princess Zhaoming avoid the male lead and persuade Lin Qiwu to do what she liked instead of sacrificing herself to marry the male lead.

That could be considered… repaying.

Li Mu thought, turning her head to look out the window. The autumn breeze was cool, carrying the fragrance of osmanthus across her face.

Li Mu realized it was already September, and the time of Lin Que’s death in the book was approaching. But Lin Que didn’t seem to be unwell. Maybe with Grand Princess Zhaoming back from the temple, he could live longer than in the book.

As it turned out, one shouldn’t make assumptions. Just as Li Mu thought this, she went to change her dirty riding clothes and saw Lin Que lying on the bed, hair disheveled, looking half-dead.

Li Mu paused, thinking for less than three seconds before Lin Que opened his eyes and looked at her.

Li Mu noticed something was clearly wrong. She waved her hand to signal Qianyun and Feixing to leave, then walked to the bedside out of courtesy to express her concern.

“Headache,” Lin Que said. He frowned slightly, exuding an unapproachable aura.

Li Mu: “Did you see a doctor?”

“No use.” Lin Que closed his eyes, looking like he didn’t want to talk anymore.

Li Mu rarely saw Lin Que speak so little. She left the room and ran into Nanny Liu.

Nanny Liu immediately knew what was happening: “The King has a headache again?”

Again?

Nanny Liu: “It’s an old problem. He probably hid in Qinxin Residence to avoid scaring the consort when he had a headache. It’s the small courtyard next to the main courtyard.”

Li Mu understood. It wasn’t that Lin Que wasn’t unwell; he just avoided her when he was.

Last night, she told Lin Que not to make himself uncomfortable for her, so he didn’t bother hiding anymore.

Li Mu: “He said seeing a doctor is useless?”

Nanny Liu: “Yes, the medicine hasn’t helped much and made him feel worse, so he stopped taking it. However, a doctor taught him a head massage technique that helped a bit. But the King is irritable when he has a headache and doesn’t like people getting close. Maybe the consort could try?”

Li Mu: “…”

No way. Why would she be an exception if Lin Que didn’t like people near him when he had a headache?

That’s what Li Mu thought, but she had said she would try to repay Lin Que’s kindness, so she reluctantly learned the massage technique. It sounded simple, just a few acupoints to remember.

Whether Lin Que would let her get close… well, she’d see. At least she tried.

Li Mu went to the study to change out of her dirty riding clothes, then returned to their bedroom. She walked slowly, her social anxiety making her very resistant to criticism. It didn’t matter who the person was. If she learned the massage technique for someone and they told her to leave, it would take her a long time to adjust her mood. She hadn’t even reached the bedside when she was already scared by her imagined reaction from Lin Que.

All she had to do was ask. If he agreed, she’d give him a massage. If not, she’d leave. It was simple, nothing to hesitate about. But Li Mu couldn’t take the step forward and even wanted to retreat.

Struggling, she felt frustrated and found it hard to breathe.

At that moment, there were two patients in the room: Lin Que with a physical problem and Li Mu with a psychological one.

Just then, Lin Que opened his eyes again, still looking pained. He asked Li Mu, “What are you standing there for?”

Li Mu’s gaze fell elsewhere. She opened her mouth several times before finding her voice, still slow and hoarse, hiding all her anxiety and fear: “Nanny Liu said that massaging your head can relieve headaches.”

Lin Que: “…You learned it?”

Li Mu: “I said I would repay you.”

A laugh came from Lin Que’s side. Li Mu finally returned her disobedient gaze to him and saw him reaching out his hand to her.

Li Mu didn’t react immediately. Lin Que urged, “Didn’t you say you would repay me?”

Li Mu finally took a step to the bedside and, for once, held Lin Que’s hand.

Lin Que rested his head on Li Mu’s lap. Li Mu, not very skilled, used the newly learned technique, adjusting the position and pressure based on his feedback.

Li Mu could clearly feel that as time passed, Lin Que was indeed not as uncomfortable as before.

The evidence was that Lin Que started talking more: “In a few days, it’s Qiwu’s birthday. I thought giving her An Ying would be enough. Last night, I also thought you and your eighth sister could go, so I prepared a set of horse gear for her. If you’re unsure what to give, you can give her a bow.”

An Ying? Li Mu thought for a moment and finally realized it was the Cabinet Scholar An Ying that Lin Que mentioned last night.

Li Mu was speechless. So, was the lecture by the Cabinet Scholar you mentioned yesterday a birthday gift for Lin Qiwu? Giving a child a set of professional lectures as a birthday gift, that’s really something.

Lin Que: “After Qiwu’s birthday, I plan to have Yan’an become the seventh prince’s study companion so he won’t run around and refuse to come home.”

Li Mu: Sure, wait, this “seventh prince” sounds familiar. Who is it again?

Lin Que: “I hope he causes less trouble in the palace, at least not getting any prince killed.”

Li Mu: Your expectations for him are quite low, huh.

Lin Que: “When he enters the palace to study, don’t forget to give him something.”

Li Mu finally spoke: “Brush and ink?” For a child going to school, it must be stationery, right?

Lin Que: “You can give whatever you think is appropriate.”

Lin Que rambled on and then fell silent. After a while, he suddenly called out to Li Mu, his voice tinged with a bit of weariness: “Weixi.”

Li Mu found it hard to refuse when Lin Que called her like that: “Hmm?”

Lin Que: “You said you would repay my kindness.”

Li Mu: “Yes.”

Lin Que: “Why not put it another way?”

Li Mu: “?” What way?

Lin Que raised his right hand, his fingers slightly curved, and gently stroked Li Mu’s cheek with the back of his fingers: “I am good to you, and you will be good to me.”

Li Mu stared blankly into Lin Que’s eyes, which, though not smiling, were as gentle as water and carried a hint of tenderness.

The atmosphere felt familiar to Li Mu. She recalled a similar situation she had experienced before, and a sentence suddenly popped into her mind, so she said—

“I won’t give you the wine.”

“Tsk.”

…

Li Mu’s sister-in-law was also due to give birth in September. The news of her labor came unexpectedly. Upon hearing it, Li Mu hurried to the Li residence. Lin Que even found an imperial physician skilled in childbirth from the palace and sent him to the Li residence.

The Li residence was in chaos. Li Mu initially intended to stand outside the delivery room like a wooden post, but when blood started being carried out from the room, the old lady had Li Mu’s second sister, Li Zhi, take Li Mu elsewhere.

Although Li Zhi had been married for three years, she didn’t have any children and was sent back home, unable to help much. Because of this, whenever someone mentioned that the Ning family was divorcing her, they would argue that it was because Li Zhi was childless, not because they were cowardly. When they heard that Li Zhi’s uncle was detained in the palace, they quickly sent her back to her family to clear their relationship.

Because Li Mu married into King Yan’s mansion, they had privately said things like, “So what if she’s King Yan’s consort’s sister? This woman is not good for bearing children; even King Yan can’t stop them from divorcing her.” This was to overturn the accusation that they feared powerful people.

Such words, of course, reached King Yan’s mansion’s pigeon house. Soon after, Li Zhi’s ex-husband drowned in a river, and the Ning family, like a goose with its neck grabbed, finally quieted down for a while. But this didn’t stop the outside world’s opinion from changing. Initially, people said the Ning family was unkind, but now they sympathized with them. Li Zhi’s father was furious and urged his wife to find someone else to marry Li Zhi, regardless of status, to get her married quickly and have a child, proving it wasn’t Li Zhi who couldn’t bear children but the useless Ning family, to vent his anger.

Li Zhi had secretly cried many times because of this. Previously, she was worried about her sister-in-law, but now, being sent away with Li Mu, without the anxious atmosphere outside the delivery room, she couldn’t help but feel depressed and sat in a daze.

Li Zhi and Li Mu’s maids and nannies were called to help, leaving just the two of them in the room.

Li Mu was solving the nine-linked rings puzzle of her seventh sister, Li Ying— the Li family still used children’s things to comfort her— with her head down, not speaking.

Thanks to modern internet technology, Li Mu had watched videos explaining the nine-linked rings and practiced with a prop nine-linked rings her roommate used for Hanfu photoshoots. Although a long time had passed, she still remembered some steps and regained her memory after a few tries. To avoid the noisy clanging of the metal rings, Li Mu tried to prevent them from colliding as much as possible. She repeatedly solved and restored the puzzle, finally putting it down when tired. Looking up, she saw Li Zhi staring blankly at the well in the courtyard.

Li Mu’s heart skipped a beat, and her hand moved faster than her brain, grabbing the dazed Li Zhi. The nine-linked rings on her lap fell to the ground, making a loud noise.

Li Zhi snapped out of her daze, turned to Li Mu, and after a few seconds, forced a smile, asking, “What’s wrong, Little Five?”

Li Mu’s mind raced, unsure of what to say.

Li Zhi seemed to see Li Mu’s concern and tried to comfort her instead: “I’m fine, I…”

Li Zhi’s eyes welled up with tears after just a few words. She had been like this recently, feeling fine, with no parents pressuring her, but suddenly tearing up while talking. In the past, she would have suppressed her emotions, holding back her tears to avoid annoying others. But this time, she thought of Li Mu, who had once told her that crying wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t hold back anymore and hugged Li Mu, sobbing uncontrollably, asking Li Mu what she should do.

Li Mu let her cry, listening to her recount her experiences over the past days, gently patting her back in silent comfort.

After a while, Li Zhi finished venting her emotions, apologized to Li Mu, and thanked her.

Li Mu didn’t know what she was thanking her for.

Li Zhi simply said, “I figured it out.”

Her parents had once said that if she refused to marry, she should become a nun to avoid bringing shame to the Li family. Initially, she was afraid. But when Li Mu came, she remembered that when she was first divorced, she and Li Mu accompanied their grandmother to Mingtai Temple, which turned out to be the most comfortable period of her life after getting married.

Perhaps becoming a nun wasn’t so scary after all. However, she didn’t tell Li Mu, fearing that Li Mu would misunderstand and think she was the cause of her decision to become a nun.

Li Mu found out the next day after returning to King Yan’s mansion through the pigeon house that Li Zhi had told her parents she wanted to become a nun. Although their grandmother, who was a devout Buddhist, was heartbroken that Li Zhi would spend her days in a temple, she still stood up for her and arranged for her to go to Mingyue Nunnery.

It was the same Mingyue Nunnery where Li Zhi became a nun in the book.