Chapter 25: Never Bet That It’s Just a Fart

Ruan Li dug into her ear and muttered, “Why did that sound like a fart to me?”

Li Fan had just taken a sip of water, and upon hearing her, she promptly spat it all out with a loud pfft.

She couldn’t hold it in.

Ruan Li, who took the full blast, was speechless: “…”

“The lake’s on your right! Why did you spray it toward me?!”

Li Fan hurriedly pulled out a handkerchief to wipe her down. “Sorry, sorry, you’re just too funny.”

Ruan Li froze for a second, then stopped wiping her face and leaned in close to whisper,
“What do you mean? Was that really a fart just now? Who did it? Liang Kang or Shen Yuwan?”

It obviously wasn’t her or Li Fan.

Li Fan focused on her breathing and said nothing. “I didn’t say anything.”

Meanwhile, on the bamboo raft behind them, Shen Yuwan had just started to feel like she was recovering.

But not long after, a sudden sharp cramp hit her stomach. Her toes curled, and she used every ounce of strength to hold it in.

“Liang Kang!”

She had no mood left for his sweet talk at this point.

Liang Kang turned around. “What’s wrong?”

“Let’s go back. I’m not feeling well,” Shen Yuwan couldn’t even force a smile anymore.

Liang Kang quickly steadied himself with a pole and walked over, but Shen Yuwan felt that the fart was already at the doorstep.

She quickly held out her hand to stop him. “Don’t come over! You’re supporting the raft. Don’t move around. We’ll just go back.”

Liang Kang paused mid-step. “Where does it hurt?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a monthly thing for women. Just turn back for now,” Shen Yuwan urged him as cold sweat beaded on her forehead.

This wave came fast and strong.

Liang Kang nodded. “Alright, let’s go back then.”

As they turned around, Li Fan and Ruan Li naturally had to follow.

Shen Yuwan took a deep breath and, holding on to a sliver of hope, tried to release another fart slowly.

This time, it came with a wet sensation.

Her face went pale, and embarrassment caused goosebumps to rise all over her skin.

Ruan Li heard the sound again, and a lightbulb went off in her head. The queen of witty jabs was back at it.

She exclaimed, “Miss Shen, did you eat too many raw lotus seeds? Is that why your stomach hurts?”

Shen Yuwan’s face froze, and she quickly denied it. “No, it’s just my period.”

[What bad luck, just when I thought we could enjoy more of the view.]
[Yuwan’s face is pale, probably menstrual cramps?]
[Haha, Liang Kang’s chance! Goddess has cramps—he better step up!]

Ruan Li didn’t believe her. She was certain she’d heard a fart earlier.

Then she remembered something she’d read online and solemnly warned Shen Yuwan.

“Miss Shen, I’m telling you now—don’t ever bet that it’s just a fart.”

Shen Yuwan: “…Shut up.”

She was on the verge of losing control.

Ruan Li tsked. “This is wisdom from experience, don’t doubt it. I told you not to eat those raw lotus seeds earlier, and you didn’t listen.”

[What’s Ruan Li’s problem? The girl already said it’s period cramps.]
[Ruan Li’s just being mean—she wants to see someone make a fool of themselves.]
[She has her own scandals, doesn’t she? Always laughing at others. Did she forget about those shoe lifts of hers?]

Then suddenly, Shen Yuwan shot up and yelled furiously, “I said it’s not a stomachache! Can you shut up already?!”

Her shout echoed across the lake, startling everyone into silence as they stared at her in shock.

And then—

In that perfect moment of silence, a long, loud fart erupted, complete with rhythmic pfft pfft sounds.

The air grew even stiller.

The two bamboo rafts were side by side, and Ruan Li just happened to be seated right next to Shen Yuwan. She took a deep whiff.

“Ugh!”

Ruan Li gagged dryly. She really had the worst luck today.

“Miss Shen, did you… poop yourself?” Ruan Li gagged again.

Li Fan was truly impressed. Not even now could Ruan Li resist adding another jab.

Shen Yuwan’s face twisted with rage and humiliation. She was on the verge of a breakdown.

This was a hundred times more embarrassing than when Gu Lanyi’s feet stank!

Because this time—she really did soil herself!

“Get us back! I want to go back now!” she shrieked like a madwoman, rushing toward Liang Kang, who was still on the raft, and snatched the bamboo pole from his hands.

Liang Kang was caught off guard and actually let her take it.

“Yuwan, don’t panic! Let me handle it!”

He hurriedly took off his only T-shirt and tied it around Shen Yuwan’s waist—just in time for another round of vigorous pfft pfft sounds.

Even with all the rose-colored filters Liang Kang had for her, that smell shattered every illusion.

“Yuwan… people… people have emergencies. It’s okay.”

Shen Yuwan burst into tears. That made it worse! She’d rather he said nothing!

[Uh… wow.]
[Nothing scarier than sudden silence.]
[Moral of the story: Never eat too many raw lotus seeds.]
[Hahahaha I’m sorry—I laughed away all my good karma!]
[So tragic, yet I couldn’t help laughing. Buddha forgive me—press 1 if same.]

With Shen Yuwan paddling wildly with the bamboo pole, the small raft couldn’t handle the chaos. It began to sway dangerously.

The more it wobbled, the more desperate she got—until she finally lost her balance and fell into the lake.

Before, she could still hold back just a little. But once she hit the water, all bets were off.

Murky yellow bubbles began surfacing on the lake. Ruan Li glanced sympathetically at the lifeguard.

“So… you guys gonna go in and save her?”

Lifeguard: “…”

Ren Xuan, expression deadpan, checked her phone.

The livestream was experiencing unprecedented viewership.

Fame comes at a price, and nobody likes this kind of fame.

Eventually, Liang Kang carried the soaking wet Shen Yuwan back to her room.

Anyone who saw it would’ve praised his devotion.

Li Fan murmured, “Should we get Mr. Ling? Maybe he can prescribe her something.”

Ruan Li immediately ran off. “Mr. Ling! Mr. Ling, please come out! Your skills are needed!”

Ling Liren walked out from his room, clearly exasperated with these kids.

“What’s the situation?”

Ren Xuan replied, “Miss Shen ate too many freshly picked lotus pods. She’s got an upset stomach.”

Ruan Li nodded furiously. “Diarrhea. A lot of it.”

“I see. I’ll ask a few questions and prescribe some medicine.” Ling Liren looked around but didn’t see Shen Yuwan anywhere.

Ruan Li followed closely. “What do you need to ask? You can ask me.”

Ling Liren looked confused. “Was her stool watery?”

“Yup.”

Ling Liren: “…” His feelings were complicated.

“Wait, how would you know? She’s the one with diarrhea.”

Ruan Li shrugged. “The entire nation knows by now.”

Ling Liren was stunned. Was this show really that unfiltered?

Li Fan couldn’t take it anymore and covered her face as she stepped forward.

“Mr. Ling, please just write the prescription.”

Still reeling, Ling Liren nodded distractedly.

“Oh, right. Lotus seeds are cold in nature and contain alkaloids that can irritate the intestines. A little is fine, but too much causes diarrhea. Moderation is key.”

He wrote out the prescription, told them to grab the meds from the pharmacy, and promptly grabbed his bag and left.

“No need to see me off. I had a great time filming this episode, but I’m leaving now. Farewell!”

Ren Xuan: “…”