Chapter 17

Don’t want to be thrown away…

These few words were like needles piercing Dazai’s heart.

The reason for this is closely related to the eldest child’s original family.

The story can be traced back to the generation of Li Fengbei’s father.

The Li family was originally a poor family, so they sent their sixteen-year-old child to join the army.

It was also because of this that the Li family received a subsidy from the army. The family had some money and was finally able to afford the bride price.

Li’s father and mother found a wife, Liu Mei’e, for their eldest son Li Fengnan.

But the good days did not last long. Li’s father fell seriously ill and the family spent all their money on medicine for his treatment, and also owed a lot of debts to relatives and neighbors.

In the end…

Li’s father died without receiving treatment.

Before he died, he didn’t even see Li Fengbei for the last time.

Even the news of his death was not sent to Li Fengbei until a year later.

As a farmer’s family, without an adult man who can do heavy physical work, the Li family’s life became more and more difficult.

During those years, the biggest source of income for the Li family was the allowance that Li Fengbei sent from the army.

At that time, Li Fengbei’s position was not as high as it is now, he was just a private.

His allowance is not much.

Later, as Liu Mei’e became pregnant, she gave birth to two big fat boys.

For other families, it may be a great joy.

But to the poor Li family, having two more hungry mouths to feed, waiting for food and drink every day, was like the sky falling.

The burden of life suddenly fell on Li Fengnan.

In order to support his large family, Li Fengnan not only had to work in the fields, but also had to find every way to make money.

I’m just a peasant. Apart from doing dirty and tiring physical work, how can I make money other than this?

This went on for three years.

Liu Mei’e was pregnant for the second time, and her three cubs were born with loud cries.

Li Fengnan gritted his teeth and worked hard.

But when the third child was one year old, Li Fengnan died.

A middle-aged man in his thirties.

He died of overwork.

The pillar of the Li family has completely collapsed.

Life was even more unbearable, and we could only make ends meet every day.

The two remaining women in the family took care of the three children with great difficulty.

During those hard days, Sanzai was just a baby in swaddling clothes, with no memories at all. He could only have a runny nose and cry for milk.

Erzai is careless and forgetful, and he didn’t seem to take it to heart.

But the big one is different…

When they were in Li Fengnan, Liu Mei’e and Li’s mother had to work in the fields, so she left all the housework to the eldest son, who also asked him to take care of his two younger brothers.

The eldest cub at that time was only three or four years old.

A little kid of three or four years old, carrying one on his back and holding another in his hand.

You have to walk several miles along the mountain road to fetch water and collect firewood.

Going to the river to wash clothes in the middle of winter.

If it’s just a little bit hard, the family can still get through it by staying together.

But Liu Mei’e is not a person with a good temper.

When Li Fengnan was still alive, Liu Mei’e was a shrew.

Now that Li Fengnan is gone, life is hard and her temper is getting worse and worse.

As long as the older child did not do something well, she would beat and scold the younger child.

Even when the third child cries, it is blamed on the eldest child for not knowing how to coax children.

“I went through so much trouble to give birth to you, what’s the point of having you as a child! You can’t even do such a simple thing! I might as well give birth to a pig!”

“You just get into trouble all day long. Do you think I’m not tired enough? Do you want me to die of exhaustion?”

“You’re just a fatherless child anyway, and I don’t want you anymore! I might as well just throw you away so I can have some peace and quiet.”

Liu Mei’e shouts similar words every day.

The little big cub remembered it all in his heart.

Later.

Liu Mei’e did not abandon her eldest child. Instead, she could not bear the hardship, so she left the child behind and ran away secretly.

Not even a single word was left, and there was no news at all.

At that time, there was still a whole month before Li Fengbei returned home.

That month was also the most difficult time for the Li family’s one old man and three children.

Li’s mother also became ill due to overwork and was unable to work in the fields. The whole family could only dig some potatoes to fill their stomachs.

She could bear it, but the three little cubs needed nutrition for growth, so how could she bear it?

Li’s mother had no choice but to think of sending the child to foster care.

It is better to be adopted by someone else than to starve to death in your own home.

There are actually people who come to pick children.

The first ones to be picked are the older ones who are well-behaved, sensible and capable of working.

Even if you don’t raise him as a son, it would be a good deal to buy him as a farmhand.

The eldest child didn’t know what foster care was. In his little consciousness, he just felt that Li’s mother was going to abandon him.

“Grandma, don’t abandon me, don’t! I can work, I can! I can wash clothes, chop wood, and make fire and cook by myself! Grandma, I will be obedient, don’t abandon me…”

That day, the eldest cub cried loudly and his tears flowed.

When the eldest cub started crying, the second and third cubs followed suit.

The miserable Li family was in tears.

Mother Li could only hold the three little cubs in her arms and wipe away her tears.

Fortunately, before the eldest son was sent away, Li Fengbei finally returned home, ending the miserable life of the Li family.

Li Fengbei paid off his family’s debts and moved his family out of the mountains to a big city he had never seen before.

At Li’s mother’s request, the three cubs were adopted by Li Fengbei and became Li Fengbei’s sons.

Later.

It’s about Li Fengbei getting married, letting his elderly mother stay in the city to live out her days, and he taking his wife and three children to the countryside to join the army.

During the year they lived together.

Li Fengbei treated the three children as his own sons, taking care of them, teaching them and caring about them.

They are like a real family.

But no one expected that Dazai’s psychological trauma had been deeply buried in his heart.

“I will be thrown away… I have to be obedient… I have to be sensible… I have to work… I am a child, it doesn’t matter if I eat less… I don’t want… I don’t want to be thrown away…”

As Qiao Anle listened to Dazai’s choked words, her heart felt deeply gripped.

The little child trembled slightly in her arms.

Even though she cried so sadly, she still held back and didn’t sob.

It seems that if I cry out loud, I will be beaten.

Qiao Anle felt so distressed that she hugged the cub tightly, stroking his back and soothing him gently.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry, big boy. You are so good, how could your parents bear to throw you away! You are our family’s treasure! We love you so much that we can’t throw you away!”

that’s all.

Qiao Anle kept making assurances.

I coaxed him for a long time.

The eldest boy’s excited and bursting emotions slowly calmed down, and his tears finally stopped.

But his little body still couldn’t help shaking.

Qiao Anle simply lifted the quilt and hugged the older cub, holding him tightly in her arms.

She took a wet towel and gently wiped the eldest cub’s tear-stained face.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I just said the wrong thing. From now on, baby, you can do whatever you want!”

The gentle comfort continues.

The eldest cub cried until his nose was red, his eyes were wet, and he was sobbing softly.

When he heard Qiao Anle call him “baby”, the dark pupils in his moist eyes moved.

Qiao Anle held the eldest baby for a long time, then poured him a cup of warm water and carefully fed him to drink.

Wait until the eldest cub’s emotions are completely stable.

Qiao Anle then asked softly, “Big boy, you are not sad anymore, are you? Can you listen to what your mother has to say for a few more times?”

The eldest boy opened his eyes, leaned his head on Qiao Anle’s chest, and nodded gently.

“Big boy, what I said just now was not to change you into someone else. I just wanted you to be happy and cheerful, to be as cheerful as the third boy every day, and to have a happy childhood.”

“But it doesn’t matter. No matter what our eldest cub becomes, he is always the best and most precious cub to his mother.”

“Mom loves you, and I also love the second and third cubs. We are a loving family. No one and nothing can separate us. So don’t worry, no one will abandon you. If anyone dares to do that, Mom will be the first one to not forgive him!”

Qiao Anle spoke aggressively and even waved his fist seriously.

That indignant look made the eldest boy laugh briefly.

Only when she saw the eldest child smile did Qiao Anle feel completely relieved.

This is a commotion…

Qiao Anle cried in her heart.

The eldest boy’s eyes were red. He rubbed Qiao Anle and spoke weakly.

“…Mom, can you… sing for me too?”

The well-behaved and sensible child expressed his first small wish.

“Of course I will! Not only will Mommy sing for you, she will sing something different! Just for Big Cub to hear.”

In Qiao Anle’s heart, she showed a little partiality to Dazai, a child who made her feel sorry for him.

She used her arms as a cradle, rocking him gently and humming a tender tune.

“My baby~baby~

Give you some sweetness~ so you can sleep well tonight~

My little devil~little devil~

Tease your eyes~

Let you like this world~

Hualalalalalalal, my baby…”