Chapter 10: Obtaining the Longevity Technique

Finding the herbal girl Hong Yingtao, he said, “Sister Yingtao, I’m back again. Look, what’s this?”

“Sir, isn’t this a softshell turtle?” she replied.

Ding Quandan said excitedly, “Sister Yingtao, braised softshell turtle is a delicacy in the human world. This one is wild, very nourishing! I want to trade you some milk grass seeds and some herbal medicine to treat mastitis!”

“Oh, and please, sister, give me a breath of your immortal energy!”

Hong Yingtao hesitated, “Sir, you’re so naughty. Trading one softshell turtle for milk grass seeds is already a great bargain for you, and then adding herbal medicine for mastitis treatment—now you want a breath of immortal energy too? I’m losing out big time!”

“Sister Yingtao, we’re doing long-term business. You won’t lose out. I came in a hurry this time, so I brought fewer things, but I really need it. Sister Yingtao, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen; you’ve completely bewitched me. Please be merciful, please!”

After a shower of flattering words, Hong Yingtao was delighted, laughing coquettishly, “Sir, your words are so sweet. Alright, I’ll make an exception this time. Press your mouth against mine…”

Their lips touched, no different from a kiss. After a moment, Hong Yingtao blew a breath of immortal energy into his mouth. The energy entered Ding Quandan’s body, swirling like fish and lightning, finally settling into his dantian (energy center), beginning to build a foundation and develop a spiritual energy embryo!

The herbal girl Hong Yingtao was shocked and said, “Oh no, something’s wrong! I accidentally passed on the power of the Solar Longevity Technique to you. Your dantian has successfully grown a spiritual energy embryo! Oh my god, I’m at a big loss!”

Ding Quandan thought she was joking, confused: “What’s the Solar Longevity Technique? Sister Yingtao, why does my belly feel so big?”

Suddenly, he noticed his belly was huge like a ball, as if he were eight months pregnant.

Pfft!

Hong Yingtao laughed out loud, “Naughty sir, you have a spiritual energy embryo now. Without the Solar Longevity Technique’s secret formula, it’s useless!”

“Sister Yingtao, don’t play with me. Teach me the formula, and I’ll become your disciple!”

After saying that, Ding Quandan bowed deeply.

“Alright then, I accept you as my student!”

Hong Yingtao graciously taught Ding Quandan the secret formula.

Ding Quandan activated the Solar Longevity Technique, and soon his big belly shrank away.

He got the milk grass seeds and found that the herb for treating mastitis looked peculiar, somewhat like deer antlers.

“This is Deer Antler Grass. Mix it with Yuanbao Grass, make a medicinal paste, and apply it!”

“Great! Thanks, beautiful teacher, I’m off now!”

The space vanished, and Ding Quandan crawled out of the woods, startling Wan Zihong who had been looking for him: “Quandan, where did you suddenly disappear to? You scared me to death!”

“Scared what? I told you I went into the mountains to find medicine!”

Wan Zihong gasped, “Isn’t that deer antler? Could there be wild sika deer in the mountains?”

“It’s not sika deer, it’s Deer Antler Grass!”

Ding Quandan pulled out a medicinal mortar and pestle from his cowboy bag, took some Yuanbao Grass, cut a small piece of Deer Antler Grass, mashed them together into a fragrant medicinal paste.

He smeared it all over Wan Zihong’s two trouble spots.

A few minutes later, Wan Zihong excitedly said, “Oh my god, my two troublemakers are healed? The pain is gone! Wow, Quandan, I wouldn’t have guessed you’re such a genius doctor!”

“Deer Antler Grass is hard to find. That’ll be two thousand bucks.”

Ding Quandan held out his hand.

“Alright, two thousand is not too much!”

Wan Zihong was the richest woman in the village; she definitely wasn’t short on money. She pulled out two thousand yuan in cash from her bag and handed it to Ding Quandan.

Ding Quandan took the money and said, “Can you do me a favor?”

“What favor?”

“I’m an idiot. My sister-in-law, Su Jingwen, will definitely ask me where the money came from. I can’t let her know that I can actually make money, you get what I mean?”

“Huh? Why’s that?”

“If my sister-in-law finds out I’m capable of supporting myself, she’ll definitely go back to her parents and remarry.”

Wan Zihong’s eyes lit up like Columbus discovering the New World. She hit him in frustration and said, “Alright then, Ding Quandan, so you’ve been pretending to be dumb?”

“Could I not pretend? The only reason my sister-in-law hasn’t remarried is because she thinks I’m an idiot!”

Wan Zihong’s eyes sparkled as she said, “Oh my god, Ding Quandan, you’re definitely not dumb at all! If you keep pretending to be dumb just to keep your sister-in-law here, that’s actually a pretty good strategy!”

“So, you agree to help?”

“You mean help cover for you? So if your sister-in-law asks, I’ll say I gave you the money?”

Wan Zihong pursed her lips, “No, no, that won’t do. She’ll ask why I gave you money.”

Ding Quandan said, “That’s easy! You just say you have back pain, and I give you massages. That’s your payment!”

“Besides, I went to medical school. You can also tell my sister-in-law that I know how to treat illnesses!”

Wan Zihong nodded enthusiastically, “Right! You know medicine, and that doesn’t stop you from pretending to be dumb!”

“Alright, it’s settled then!”

“Deal. I have something to do, so I’m off. Bye, idiot!”

Wan Zihong looked like she’d seen a ghost, jumped up, and tried to sneak away.

Ding Quandan’s vision darkened; he grabbed her and said, “Wan Zihong, we agreed on three minutes. You’re trying to back out?”

“Uh… Quandan, how about no more kissing? I’ll give you an extra thousand yuan for medical fees, how’s that?”

“No way! We agreed—no breaking promises. I hate people who don’t keep their word!”

Ding Quandan shook his head back and forth like a rattle.

Wan Zihong sighed helplessly, “You little stinker, fine, you win!”

Then the two of them kissed for several minutes in the woods.

Afterward, Wan Zihong was so shy she quickly slipped away, running home as fast as she could.

“Wow, that felt great!”

Ding Quandan exhaled deeply, feeling enlightened.