Chapter 53: My Heart’s Desire – Your Highness, Do You Understand?

He was found out.

Yun Chu’s expression froze for a moment. He lowered his head slightly, watching as tiny pebbles were kicked up by the horse’s hooves. His voice was soft, “Why do you ask that?”

His reaction further confirmed Li Yunli’s suspicions.

“So, is it true?”

“…Yes.”

Yun Chu swallowed, his throat dry.

He had no idea from which point in time Li Yunli had returned. If her memories hadn’t reached the events of Yuanhe Year Nine, when Chu was annihilated, then she wouldn’t yet hate him to the bone.

But Zheng Siyan had appeared before Yuanhe Year Nine.

That ruthless Right Chancellor of Wei had never once shown Li Yunli any mercy.

Their horses moved at a steady pace, side by side.

Yun Chu kept his head lowered, hardly pausing. Closing his eyes briefly, he spoke, “Your Highness, do you still remember Zheng Siyan?”

Li Yunli hesitated. “Zheng Siyan, the Right Chancellor of Wei?”

“Yes.” His tone was slow, carefully measured. This was a sensitive topic for him. He asked cautiously, “In your eyes, what kind of person is he?”

A light chuckle.

Li Yunli turned to look at him, her voice cooling slightly. “I refuse to answer that. If you insist on hearing my opinion, you’ll regret it. Why? Is he involved in Wurong’s affairs too?”

Yun Chu quickly lifted his head but hesitated to speak. “I…”

“If he is involved, can you guarantee you’ll protect me from him? Or did you already know of his involvement?”

“No, Your Highness! I didn’t know in advance!” Yun Chu hurriedly explained. “I’ve been by your side all this time, with no contact with anyone else. The information I received was uncertain, so I didn’t dare report it immediately… but I couldn’t help worrying.”

Li Yunli glanced at him. “If you handled things with half as much sincerity as you speak, people wouldn’t always doubt you.”

Saying this, she deftly tossed something toward him.

Yun Chu instinctively caught it.

Li Yunli continued, “You hesitate and overthink everything, unable to act decisively. You should reflect on what you’re lacking. Whether it’s guilt or insecurity, if you want to make up for it and you have the chance, then start speaking up! If you lack something and I can provide it, then tell me. Or do you always have to wait for me to notice the problem and question you first?”

Yun Chu clenched the object in his hand. It felt hard yet smooth to the touch. Looking down, he realized—it was the Black Jade Token, the command seal for Li Yunli’s royal shadow guards!

His heart jolted, followed by a wave of warmth. But he hesitated. “This… how could I accept this?”

“This is one of the groups. There are seven in total. Some of them worked with you at the estate before and should already be inclined to follow you. Now, they are yours to command.”

Li Yunli held another identical token in her hand. She had acquired these two small teams of shadow guards when she left the capital, gifts from Li Han.

Calmly, she said, “Now, back to Zheng Siyan. You said the intelligence is uncertain—is that because you had no people to use and no way to continue investigating?”

She hit the nail on the head.

Yun Chu fell silent. His chest felt tight, suffocating.

This was his limitation.

Alone, with his life entirely in Li Yunli’s hands, even if he had suspicions, he lacked the resources and manpower to investigate.

At first, he had planned to feign loyalty to A Si for a while to gain access to usable informants. But now that A Si suspected him, that path was no longer an option.

He had never imagined that Li Yunli would actually entrust her people to him.

“Yes. I only had Lin Feng, but I couldn’t confide in him. He could do little for us, and I feared Your Highness’s suspicion… Thank you for your trust.”

Yun Chu gripped the Black Jade Token, his voice hoarse.

Only now did he realize—after Li Yunli discovered Lin Feng’s identity, she had not dealt with him. So this was why.

“What’s this talk of trust? It’s simply to make things easier for you.” Li Yunli smirked slightly. “Since you’ve repeatedly sworn loyalty, I acknowledge it. Now—are you still afraid?”

She was referring to how, in the past, Yun Chu had always been consumed by guilt when discussing the past, visibly fearful.

Now, she had given him her trust. Was he still uneasy?

Yun Chu felt a lump in his throat.

“Your Highness, I… am not worthy of this kindness.”

Suddenly, a solid but not-too-heavy jab hit his waist.

Startled, Yun Chu looked down to see Li Yunli coldly withdrawing her riding crop.

She never used it on her prized horse, Zhuxue. Just now, she had used the handle to prod him.

“I don’t like hearing that. Take it back.”

Li Yunli’s voice was icy.

She had even switched to referring to herself as “Gu” (孤), a royal first-person pronoun. Yun Chu quickly patted his lips and said, “Yes.”

“I gave you the token. I believe I have a good eye for people. What, are you saying I’m unworthy? Or that my judgment is flawed?”

Realizing she was about to get angry, Yun Chu immediately lowered himself slightly and said, “No, no! That’s not what I meant. Your Highness is magnanimous and perceptive. My past actions were truly inappropriate. I will not make the same mistake again!”

“As long as you understand.” Li Yunli pointed at him. “Stop overthinking and belittling yourself. The best way to serve me is to do your job well. Now, tell me—what exactly is going on with Zheng Siyan?”

Hearing this, Yun Chu finally felt at ease.

As they rode, he truthfully reported the suspicions A Si had about him and the bits of information he had pried from Lin Feng.

With no one else around, they were able to speak freely. By the time Yun Chu finished explaining, they were nearing the government office.

Lowering his voice, Yun Chu concluded, “I didn’t expect A Si to suspect me this quickly. I doubt I can get much more from him, so I’ll have to rely on Lin Feng.”

Li Yunli listened, her brows gradually relaxing.

She had anticipated that A Si would doubt Yun Chu.

When Yongzhou’s lockdown was lifted, she had spread rumors through her shadow guards that the long princess and her consort were deeply affectionate—ensuring this news reached A Si’s ears.

She was not someone who would give her trust easily, no matter the circumstance.

Fortunately, she now knew that Yun Chu was truly devoted to her.

The last traces of doubt in her heart crumbled completely.

“No matter. This information is still unconfirmed. Even if Zheng Siyan has allied with Wurong, our current plans remain undisclosed. He is not omniscient—he cannot intercept us tonight. And even if, by some misfortune, we do run into him, we have enough people to retreat safely. Stay calm.”

Yun Chu nodded.

It was precisely because he had thought of this that he hadn’t raised objections earlier while discussing the mission with Gongliang Chong.

“The hour is late. Get some rest—we have important work tonight.”

—

Later that night, as they set off, they rode along the devastated fields left by the flood.

Gongliang Chong caught up with Yun Chu.

“Third Highness, I have something to say to you.”

“You need not call me that—I don’t deserve it.” Yun Chu turned his head slightly. “Speak freely.”

Gongliang Chong smiled. “Very well, Yun Shijun, you’ve been in Yongzhou for a while. Have you observed these fields?”

As he spoke, he gestured toward the ruined farmland, his tone weighty.

Yun Chu remained silent, his gaze fixed on the desolation before them.

Gongliang Chong sighed. “All I wish for is a world where the people can live in peace… Your Highness, do you understand?”

“…I understand,” Yun Chu murmured. “Rest assured, Left Chancellor.”