Chapter 46 What if I can’t control the strength? I’ll give you… What if it breaks?

“…”

Fu Jingchuan suddenly sat upright, staring in the direction of Jiang Wan’s face in the dark, using the faint light coming from the bedroom. Unfortunately, Jiang Wan had her back to the bedroom, so she was backlit. Her gaze was lowered, and her long black hair cascaded over her delicate shoulders, completely obscuring her small, palm-sized face.

Fu Jingchuan couldn’t see her expression clearly, but he could vaguely make out the soft tremble of her petite frame.

“You—” Fu Jingchuan opened his mouth, but his voice was terribly hoarse. His throat bobbed slightly before he managed to speak again. “What do you mean by that?”

Jiang Wan bit her lip, her pale fingertips subconsciously clutching at the hem of her skirt. The room was dark, which she thought was the perfect opportunity to finally talk things through. Better than second-guessing all the time.

“Fu Jingchuan, we’re already married, right?” Jiang Wan bit her lower lip, not daring to look up at him. “So are you planning to keep sleeping at the base in the future? Or even if you do come home, do you still plan on sleeping in the woodshed?”

Her voice grew softer and softer as she spoke, a genuine sense of grievance coming through at the end.

If Fu Jingchuan was really planning to keep brushing her aside like this, then what was the point of this marriage? In both her past and present life, she hadn’t even had her first kiss. What girl doesn’t want to be close and affectionate with the person she likes? If they just kept treating each other with formal politeness every day, like comrades-in-arms, then what was the point? He might as well find a comrade to live with.

“…Jiang Wan, don’t cry. And don’t be mad either.”

The dim light seemed to lower the defenses between them. Fu Jingchuan sat on the sofa and let out a deep sigh.

“Come here,” he said, his neck starting to feel hot and a dampness forming in his palm. He rubbed his rough fingertips together, and when he spoke again, his voice held a trace of stiffness and awkwardness. “Jiang Wan, don’t laugh at me.”

“I know I’m an old bachelor now, but I really haven’t had much contact with women.”

“I… Can you just sit down first? Please?”

Hm? Was this turning into a heart-to-heart now?

When Jiang Wan heard Fu Jingchuan say he hadn’t had much contact with women, her glistening almond-shaped eyes curved without her realizing it. She thought maybe her earlier guesses were right—this Fu Jingchuan might really be a virgin.

Although she had come from a much more open and modern era, and didn’t care about such things the way others here might, to say she didn’t mind at all would be a lie.

She saw Fu Jingchuan silently scoot to the side, making plenty of space for her. He even pressed himself close to the right armrest of the sofa, looking a bit pitiful.

Jiang Wan fought back a laugh, pinching the palm of her hand before walking over, keeping her head down and sitting in a way that looked pitiful and meek.

Fu Jingchuan glanced at her sideways under the silvery moonlight and saw only the delicate contour of her jaw and her pert little nose. Her long, thick lashes fluttered lightly like they were tickling his heart.

Her soft, youthful face didn’t even seem to have a single visible pore. Seeing her silent and aggrieved like this made Fu Jingchuan’s heart ache terribly.

He licked his dry lips unconsciously and cautiously reached out his broad, rough palm. Slowly and carefully, he wrapped it around her delicate, slender wrist.

Jiang Wan tensed instantly from the heat of his palm — his touch was scorching. Her breath quickened, but she didn’t speak. And, of course, she didn’t pull away.

That gave Fu Jingchuan a little more courage. His warm, slightly sweaty hand wrapped tightly around her soft, tiny one.

“Jiang Wan.”

Fu Jingchuan lowered his voice, afraid the little ones sleeping in the other rooms might hear. His rough, hoarse tone brushed past her ear in the dim room, and Jiang Wan felt like there was even a faint, grainy texture in his voice.

“I never had any… physical intimacy with the women I married before.”

“No… never held hands. Never hugged. Never… had a husband-wife relationship.”

“So if you really think about it, the failure of those three marriages… it’s not like I was completely blameless.”

He frowned unconsciously, feeling like his palm was getting even sweatier. Afraid Jiang Wan would feel stifled, he moved to pull his hand away.

But just as his fingers twitched, her soft little hand suddenly opened up and slipped between his fingers — lacing them together, locking tightly.

It was like someone plucked a string deep in his chest. Fu Jingchuan felt his heart clench instantly, his breath catching.

It was like an electric current ran through his fingers again and again.

“I haven’t either,” Jiang Wan whispered softly, her voice like a mosquito’s hum. But she couldn’t stop the smile that spread on her lips.

So… this was their first time — for both of them.

“Mm.”

Fu Jingchuan lowered his thick lashes, staring at his large, wheat-colored hand interlaced with her pale, dainty one — tightly clasped, no gaps between them.

The strong visual contrast made his mind go blank for a second. He forgot what he had planned to say next.

He tried hard to refocus, closed his eyes briefly, and let out a silent, strained breath. Then, in a slightly stiff and husky voice, he said:

“Jiang Wan, you’re still really young. If I’m not mistaken, you’re not even twenty yet, right?”

Jiang Wan was stunned for a moment, then responded with a muffled “mm.”

Fu Jingchuan figured he’d already said this much, so he might as well lay all his thoughts out. That way she wouldn’t keep misunderstanding or overthinking things.

“I’m afraid of hurting you,” he said. “Really.”

“Pfft—” Jiang Wan couldn’t hold it in anymore. She never expected such a rough man to say something… so ridiculous yet heartwarming.

Her slender shoulders trembled as she laughed so hard she curled up, her stomach aching. Tears began to gather at the corners of her eyes. With reddened eyes, she turned to look at him and said between bursts of laughter, “Hahaha, Fu Jingchuan… pfft—you, I might be young, but I’m not some porcelain doll, okay? Hahaha. Why are you—why are you afraid—”

“Mm…!”

Jiang Wan was laughing so loudly that it made Fu Jingchuan flustered. His ears turned red, and with his brows furrowed and his mind suddenly blank, he impulsively reached out and covered her mouth!

“How are you not a porcelain doll?”

Maybe it was because his body was practically burning, or maybe he’d just given up on pretending. His long, narrow eyes were tinged red at the corners, and his voice, hoarse and low, seemed to be speaking before he could stop himself.

“You’re so delicate, so soft—like cotton, like jade.”

“I’m just a rough guy. What if I can’t control my strength and end up… breaking you?”

“You’re my wife. I don’t want to be the one to hurt my own wife!”