Chapter 42

She looked at Shen Siyan in shock and horror, and, with a burst of strength, pushed him away.

“What are you saying?”

When did she agree to marry Shen Siyan?! Did he even know what he was talking about?!

Shen Siyan seemed oblivious to the gravity of his words and still held her tightly. “Is that okay?”

His voice was low and hoarse, as if he were begging her.

“Can you please not go on your graduation trip alone?”

He murmured, “Why didn’t you call me in advance?”

Xu Zhilu’s eyes widened in disbelief. Shen Siyan’s words stirred up a storm in her heart, like a bomb exploding in the sea, creating a splash of confusion.

Xu Zhilu adjusted her stance and forcefully pushed him away.

She grabbed Shen Siyan’s hands, swallowed hard, and asked, “What did you say?”

A terrible thought crossed her mind.

If she could be reborn, why couldn’t Shen Siyan?

She had wondered why Shen Siyan’s behavior was so abnormal. Xu Zhilu had always thought he was just mentally disturbed, but she had never considered that he might be reborn.

Rebirth is surprising enough for one person. It never occurred to Xu Zhilu that Shen Siyan might also be reborn.

Deep down, she felt it was an impossible notion.

But now, with this new thought, everything began to make sense if she considered this possibility.

If Shen Siyan were also reborn, it would explain why he could occasionally solve difficult questions on tests. Having studied and taken the college entrance exam before, he might find the questions easier now.

His improvements in rankings and scores during competitions also made sense. He could have calculated things in advance.

Additionally, his attitude towards her might have changed after her rebirth.

Xu Zhilu tried to recall when Shen Siyan’s attitude towards her had shifted. It seemed to have happened around the time she was reborn, though it might have been slightly later.

Xu Zhilu felt dizzy and unsure how to process all this information.

Under the streetlight, Shen Siyan’s face appeared blurry, shrouded in a fog.

Xu Zhilu stared at him with intense eyes. “Shen Siyan!”

She shouted, “Speak up.”

Shen Siyan lowered his gaze and looked at her without speaking.

After a few seconds, he pulled her into his arms again and asked hoarsely, “What did you say?”

Xu Zhilu’s temples throbbed. “Are you sober or drunk right now?”

Shen Siyan: “Hmm?”

Xu Zhilu pursed her lips, thought for a moment, and then looked around. “Are you going home today?”

Shen Siyan didn’t answer.

Xu Zhilu pushed his shoulder, but he remained silent.

Xu Zhilu closed her eyes and was about to step back when Shen Siyan fell towards her.

He had fallen asleep.

“…”

Xu Zhilu stared at the scene, unsure of what to do.

She took a deep breath and was about to call a taxi when Shen Siyan’s phone rang from his pocket. Seeing that he didn’t respond, she reached into his pocket and took out the phone. It was a call from Shen Guangyuan.

“Hello.”

Xu Zhilu quickly said, “Uncle Shen, this is Zhilu.”

Shen Guangyuan sounded surprised. “Zhilu, where is Shen Siyan?”

Xu Zhilu glanced at the person leaning on her shoulder. “He got drunk and fell asleep.”

Shen Guangyuan: “…Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”

Xu Zhilu gave him the address.

After hanging up the phone, she stared at the person leaning on her shoulder, feeling a mix of emotions. It seemed that after what had just happened, she had become much calmer.

Or maybe, there was no time to think about it.

Not long after, Shen Guangyuan arrived.

He glanced at Shen Siyan with a hint of disdain. “Why are you so drunk?”

“I’m just happy.”Xu Zhilu laughed. 

Shen Guangyuan looked at her. “So, will Zhilu go home with Uncle?”

“No,” Xu Zhilu said. “Uncle Shen, I didn’t drink much. I can just take a taxi back.”

Shen Guangyuan frowned. “If you don’t want to come to our house, then Uncle Shen will at least take you home first.”

Xu Zhilu knew she couldn’t refuse, so she nodded and said, “Okay.”

Shen Guangyuan drove her home, gave her a few instructions, and then took Shen Siyan back to their place.

Xu Zhilu watched the car drive away until it disappeared from view, then she withdrew her gaze.

_

When she got home, the house was empty, with nothing in it.

Xu Zhilu looked around and began to pack up slowly.

She didn’t have a quilt yet, but luckily it was summer, so she didn’t feel too uncomfortable.

After packing everything, she went to the bathroom to wash up.

After taking a shower, she lay down on the sofa and fell asleep, using a coat to cover herself.

There was a supermarket nearby where she could buy everything, but at that moment, Xu Zhilu felt as if her legs were made of lead and she couldn’t lift them.

She didn’t want to move at all.

She reached up and touched her forehead, which felt a little warm.

Xu Zhilu closed her eyes, and as soon as she did, Shen Siyan’s words echoed in her mind.

– “Can I marry you earlier in this life?”

This sentence felt like a “bomb.”

No matter how much Xu Zhilu thought about it, she had no memory of ever marrying him.

She picked up her phone, looked at the calendar—yes, it was still high school.

Xu Zhilu held the phone for a while and then opened Baidu.

She typed in her question, and Baidu’s answer suggested that drunken nonsense might be an expression of one’s inner desires.

Xu Zhilu scrolled down and saw a bunch of confusing answers.

She turned off her phone.

The room was quiet, but the sound of the wind outside was still somewhat noticeable.

Xu Zhilu listened quietly. Her eyelids were heavy, but she wasn’t sleepy.

After tossing and turning for a long time, she checked the time on her phone.

It was already past four o’clock.

Xu Zhilu closed her eyes and forced herself to go to sleep.

During this sleep, Xu Zhilu had a very long dream, as if she had lived her entire life in it.

She dreamed of Shen Siyan and their previous lives.

In the dream, when Xu Zhilu asked Shen Siyan to go on a graduation trip with her, she didn’t die from the fall.

Instead, she fell into a deep coma, and when she woke up, it was already a year later.

Xin An’an and others cried with joy, and Shen Siyan even smiled at her.

Afterwards, she and Shen Siyan had a serious conversation.

Shen Siyan revealed that he hadn’t seen her message and didn’t know she was going on a graduation trip.

He had gone back to school that day to have dinner with his classmates and to find her.

But when he went to see her, his roommate told him she was traveling.

Shen Siyan immediately bought a ticket and went there. When he arrived, he saw an ambulance going up the mountain.

Afterwards, Xu Zhilu was sent to the hospital.

He took care of her for over a year and waited for her to wake up. When she did, she asked him why he had stayed by her side, and if he wasn’t afraid she might never wake up.

Shen Siyan admitted he was afraid, but he wanted to try as long as there was a glimmer of hope.

After she woke up, the two seemed to grow closer.

Before Xu Zhilu had the chance to confess her feelings, Shen Siyan confessed first.

He admitted that although he had known Xu Zhilu liked him, he had never been clear about his own feelings. Previously, he had only seen her as a close neighbor, feeling an indescribable sense of guilt.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like her.

This was his first experience of liking someone, and he couldn’t distinguish between love and familial affection.

Despite knowing Xu Zhilu for over ten years, their feelings were complex. He lacked the confidence to define his love for her as something more than a deep friendship.