Chapter 9: Letting Go

Shen Tang was carried back to Qingyi Garden after fainting.

When she finally woke up, it was already evening.

Her fainting was feigned, but she had lost a significant amount of blood from her injuries and had knelt for an extended period, leaving her exhausted. She felt as if she had been in a deep slumber.

As soon as she opened her eyes, before she could ask anything, Ginkgo  chattered on about everything that had happened after she fainted. “Now I finally understand why you went to Pine Crane Hall even though you knew it was Second Madam who wanted you there.”

“Second Madam must have been scolded terribly by the Old Madam…”

Ginkgo ‘s delicate face was filled with schadenfreude and satisfaction.

Shen Tang’s fainting outside Pine Crane Hall had undoubtedly put the Old Madam in a difficult position.

Everyone outside the manor was unaware of the grievances Shen Tang had endured over the past few days, but within the manor, everyone knew.

Shen Juan, afraid of becoming a widow, had poisoned herself and framed Shen Tang. Second Madam, concerned for Shen Juan’s reputation, had refused to defend Shen Tang, allowing her to be coerced by Consort Ye into marrying Prince Jingyang’s son.

Having suffered so much, and still worrying about sisterly relations, Shen Tang had bet her life to refuse the marriage, choosing to kneel in the ancestral hall to accept her punishment instead of waiting for her father to penalize her.

With Prince Jingyang’s son awake, it proved that she had not been wrong.

She was injured and needed a physician, but the Old Madam, anxious to know why Shen Tang was so certain Prince Jingyang’s son would wake up, had called her over without regard for her condition, leading to her fainting outside Pine Crane Hall.

Of course, it was not the Old Madam who had summoned Shen Tang, but Second Madam.

Yet when Shen Tang spoke, the Old Madam did not deny it, and Second Madam did not admit it either. Now that Shen Tang had fainted, denying it was pointless.

The consequences would naturally fall upon the Old Madam.

Once news of Shen Tang’s fainting spread, the manor’s servants were overwhelmingly on Shen Tang’s side. They felt that the Old Madam was too biased towards Shen Juan and that her treatment of Shen Tang was not merely harsh but downright malicious. Even Shen Sui was angered, saying, “This is a serious matter. I won’t ignore it. With my daughter injured, Mother should not have called her here to question her in person!”

Shen Sui had always respected the Old Madam and had never spoken harshly to her before. This was the first time.

Second Madam had used the Old Madam’s authority to bully Shen Tang, and now she had dragged the Old Madam into the fray, leading to Shen Sui’s rebuke. The Old Madam could not help but feel furious at Second Madam.

It was enough to make her want to tear Second Madam apart.

Shen Tang did not feel that the Old Madam’s reprimand was unjustified. Second Madam had dared to bully her under the Old Madam’s guise, and it was only after her father expressed his anger that the Old Madam would rein in Second Madam’s behavior, ensuring she would think twice before acting recklessly in the future.

The Old Madam’s excessive favoritism had diminished her authority, and she would not be able to show such bias in the future, at least not openly.

Just then, a younger maid entered and stood outside the beaded curtain. “Miss, Mama Wang is here.”

“Please let Mama Wang in.”

The young maid retreated, and before long, Mama Wang entered.

As Mama Wang walked in, Shen Tang managed a faint smile despite her pale face. “Mama Wang, have you come because Grandmother has any instructions?”

Mama Wang replied, “The Second Miss fainted outside Pine Crane Hall, and the Old Madam was very worried. She sent me to check on you.”

Shen Tang weakly said, “I have troubled Grandmother; it is truly unfilial.”

Mama Wang said, “The Old Madam knows that you have suffered grievances and is heartbroken. She specifically sent me to bring you some things.”

Mama Wang glanced back, and two maidservants followed her in, holding a tray.

On the tray lay an exquisite brocade box, clearly containing jewelry.

After enduring grievances, it was natural to seek to appease her.

The maidservants placed the tray down, and Mama Wang said, “Take good care of yourself, Second Miss. I will take my leave now.”

Shen Tang said, “Ginkgo , see Mama Wang out.”

After Ginkgo  escorted Mama Wang out, she quickly returned, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Miss, guess what happened to the Eldest Miss?”

Shen Tang replied nonchalantly, “Is she regretting not marrying Prince Jingyang’s son?”

Ginkgo  covered her mouth, laughing, “The Eldest Miss caught a cold and developed a high fever.”

Shen Tang was taken aback.

How could Shen Juan have caught a cold?

The weather was not cold, and Shen Juan hadn’t even left the house. Even if it were cold outside, the cold wind wouldn’t reach her. This had not happened in her previous life either.

Ginkgo  explained, “I heard from the little maid in the courtyard that the Eldest Miss soaked in the well water for half an hour last night…”

Shen Tang, “…”

She was someone who sought out trouble.

Shen Tang guessed that it must have been because she hadn’t let Ginkgo  return the wedding gown yesterday, which made Shen Juan anxious, fearing she would refuse to marry and could only make herself truly ill.

The person needing the auspicious ceremony had recovered, while the one providing it had fallen ill.

It was indeed amusing.

Shen Tang struggled to suppress her laughter.

The two of them laughed for a moment, and then Ginkgo  went to see what the Old Madam had sent Shen Tang.

Opening the brocade box, Ginkgo  exclaimed in surprise, “The Old Madam actually gave this set of jewelry to the Miss…”

It was no wonder Ginkgo  was surprised; Shen Tang was also taken aback.

Inside the brocade box was a set of jewelry that the Old Madam cherished most. Shen Juan had coveted it for a long time. Even with Second Madam’s help, the Old Madam had never parted with it. In her previous life, this set of jewelry ended up in Shen Juan’s hands.

Shen Juan had schemed to make Shen Tang  marry Prince Jingyang’s son in her place, But after he woke up, she regretted, feeling wronged, thinking that Shen Tang had stolen her beloved fiancé. To soothe her, the Old Madam had given her this set of jewelry.

On the day Shen Guimo accompanied her back to the manor, Shen Juan had worn this very set of jewelry. Now, in this life, the Old Madam had decided to use it to comfort Shen Tang instead.

Indeed, provoking her father’s anger had remarkable effects.

In addition to this set of jewelry, there were also a pair of sheep-fat jade bracelets and two white jade hairpins.

But no matter how exquisite the jewelry was, it could not make up for the grievances Shen Tang had suffered. After a single glance, she instructed Ginkgo  to put it away.

Ginkgo  thought it wasn’t enough to just hide it; she needed to hide it so well that Shen Juan wouldn’t be able to find it at all. The Eldest Miss had expressed her desire for this set of jewelry several times, and the Old Madam had never been willing to part with it. Now that it had been given to Shen Tang, the Eldest Miss would surely try to find a way to claim it.

As Ginkgo  packed the jewelry away, she said, “Miss, do you know what everyone is saying about you inside and outside the manor?”

Shen Tang was indifferent to what others said about her, but seeing Ginkgo ’s puffed-up expression, she asked, “What are they saying about me?”

Ginkgo  replied, “People outside say that the Miss values sisterly affection, but the servants in the manor think you’re foolish. The Eldest Miss treats you like this, and you clearly know that marrying Prince Jingyang’s son would not lead to you becoming a widow, yet you refused such a good match…”

Shen Tang understood that her refusal to marry must seem foolish to others, incredibly foolish at that.

But she had already been married to Shen Guimo once, and that had been a path filled with thorns and torment. She knew that her future marriage might not even compare to that, but she truly lacked the courage to walk that road again.

Besides, she and Shen Guimo were not meant to be together, whether in personality or… in physical compatibility.

Their one and only night together had nearly cost his life.

Thinking back to that incident with the child…

A wave of pain coursed through Shen Tang, spreading from her heart to her limbs, and she desperately suppressed it.

What kind of marriage could two people who couldn’t even fulfill their marital duties have?

Forcing them together would only lead to suffering.

She had more important matters to attend to than getting married. Wasn’t it better to let herself and him go?

No matter whether Shen Guimo truly had feelings for her as Shen Juan claimed or not, this time, she wouldn’t marry him, and they were destined to have no further ties.

However, Shen Tang still couldn’t figure out why, among so many young ladies in the capital, Shen Juan—who was only average in terms of family background, looks, and talent—caught the eye of someone as important as Prince Jingyang. Why would the old prince himself come to propose?

What poor judgment!

Very well, that just added another reason for her not to marry.

While Shen Tang pondered many thoughts in silence, Ginkgo  was left wondering if her Miss had someone special in her heart…

That beautiful glazed lamp that no one knew where it came from—could it be a gift from the person Shen Tang had feelings for?

As she thought about this, Ginkgo  felt a pang of anxiety. The glazed lamp had been sent for repairs, and she had asked Si’er to go into town to retrieve it. Why had Si’er not returned yet?

Just as she was worried, Si’er’s hurried footsteps could be heard outside the beaded curtain, and she waved at Ginkgo .

Ginkgo  approached, only to see Si’er empty-handed. “Where are the things? Why did you come back empty-handed?”

Si’er exclaimed anxiously, “The glazed lamp is gone…”

Ginkgo  froze, her voice rising in shock. “Gone?!”

“How could it be gone?!”

Shen Tang was about to get out of bed when she heard Ginkgo ’s anxious tone. “What happened?”

Si’er cautiously stepped forward and said, “The glazed lamp was shattered too badly. The old craftsman at the jade shop tried several methods but couldn’t fix it. The new apprentice thought it was something unwanted and threw it away…”

Si’er’s voice grew softer with every word.

Everyone in Qingyi Garden knew how much Shen Tang valued that glazed lamp.

Second Miss had always been generous towards her elder sister, but when it came to that glazed lamp, she wouldn’t part with it no matter what. After Shen Juan had “accidentally” broken the lamp, Shen Tang had cried in anger but never threw it away, instead spending a fortune to find a craftsman to repair it. However, due to the severe damage, the repaired parts kept breaking after a while.

After several attempts at mending it, they had reached a point where it was no longer fixable.

Now that it had been thrown away by the apprentice at the jade shop, who knew how heartbroken and furious Shen Tang would be?

While Second Miss had a gentle temperament, when she truly became enraged, it was frightening indeed. Just look at how decisively she had stabbed herself with the hairpin…

Shen Tang sat on the bed, having completely forgotten about the glazed lamp, but her silence was what frightened Ginkgo  the most.

Ginkgo  was almost in tears. “Miss, please say something! Don’t scare me like this…”

Shen Tang shook her head. “I’m fine.”

Am I really fine?

As Shen Tang’s personal maid, Ginkgo  knew better than anyone how much her Miss valued that lamp.

Not reassured, Ginkgo  cautiously probed, “The glazed lamp is gone, and not even a shard can be found. Are you really not angry?”

In her mind, Shen Tang was haunted by the image of a masked man and the promise made in her youth.

A self-deprecating smile crossed her lips.

“A lamp that should have been thrown away long ago is not worth getting angry over.”