Chapter 15: What She Feels

Her breath was shallow. The blurry afterimages in front of her eyes scattered like a dream. The image of Zenas, shedding tears, overlapped with that of a strange figure that crumbled away. Curly black hair. A beautiful woman on her knees. Dressed in a very lavish outfit…

“……”

Alec, who had roughly thrown the torn stag in front of Zenas, turned to look at her. Afrosa, who was sweating coldly, covered her mouth. She felt nauseous.

“Rose.”

Alec grabbed her shoulder. Afrosa slapped his hand away and glared at him. She couldn’t understand why he was acting like this all of a sudden. Alec looked at her with a stiff expression. Afrosa hesitated, taking a few steps back, her eyes twisting with discomfort.

“Rose!”

She fled as if running away. She dashed out of the shop and into the chaotic alley. The image of the figure that had overlapped with Zenas, shedding tears, faded away. It was the first time she had experienced something like this. Furthermore, it was a woman she had never seen before. Afrosa had never seen hair like that, dark and black… The outline wasn’t perfect, but the feeling it left on her was vivid. Her heart, which had been tightening, now ached as though it was being torn apart. It hurt so much that her mind started to blur… She shivered, as though she had been splashed with cold water. Why was she feeling like this? What had she seen earlier? She chewed on her lips. It was different from usual. No matter how much she tried to treat it as something insignificant, the emotion was strange.

“Rose. Wait!”

Long hands grabbed her shoulder. The force was crude. Was he unable to control his strength? The hand gripping her shoulder was rough. She thought she’d have bruises by tomorrow morning.

“What’s going on?”

“Why, why did you…?”

“Rose.”

“Let go of me.”

To shake off the hand on her shoulder, she twisted her body. Alec didn’t loosen his grip. Afrosa shook him off with disgust.

“It hurts!”

She twisted her body, rejecting his touch. Alec was surprised and briefly pulled his hand away. Afrosa glared at him, her chest heaving. His gray eyes, which had always been like eternal snow in front of Zenas, were now swollen, like a torn membrane. His face, like a wounded beast, didn’t move.

“Enough, let’s go back…”

“Rose.”

“Sorry. I… I was a bit…”

It was when she turned her head away from him. His arm grabbed her again. She spun halfway around and was pulled into his embrace. Her face touched his thick chest. Afrosa bit her lip, trying not to let any tears fall. His hands, which could never be called gentle, patted her back in a pitiful manner.

“I… I was wrong.”

Alec apologized. Afrosa closed her eyes, biting her lip. This was not what she had wanted to hear. In fact, she hadn’t even expected Alec to apologize. She hadn’t run out there hoping for an apology, and Alec was never someone who apologized so easily. Of course, whenever they had a fight, he would apologize first, but he had never started off so quickly before.

“You’re acting strange.”

Her wet voice collided with his chest. Alec pulled her in even tighter. It felt strange, like someone pulling a drowning person into an embrace. Then again, she wasn’t exactly herself today. Zenas’s feelings for Alec weren’t new; there was no reason to react like this.

‘But why did I only react when she was crying?’

Afrosa lifted her head. Alec, with his eyes tightly shut, was holding her, looking like a scared person. It was a good thing they were on a secluded path; if this had been a busy street, people would have certainly thought he was crazy.

“It hurts, Alec.”

She murmured as his hands squeezed tightly, enough to leave bruises. He didn’t seem to hear her; he just frantically stroked her head, back, and arms.

“I’m okay now.”

Afrosa spoke nonchalantly while being petted, trying to sound casual. She gave him a faint smile, but Alec’s hands didn’t stop. Looking up at the man who was obsessively touching her as if in a trance, she saw his face heavy with emotion. Afrosa bit her lip, holding back tears. His eyes, filled with dark shadows, were wet with pain. Without a word, she pulled him into a tight embrace. The scent of his thick body was almost unbearably comforting.

---

The evening they returned was surprisingly calm. Perhaps because a storm had passed, the couple didn’t spend an awkward time together. Alec’s eyes, which had shimmered with vulnerability, were back to normal as if nothing had happened. Afrosa decided not to ask anymore.

Everything… all of it. Why she had suddenly become so sensitive. It would be a lie to say nothing had changed. But there must be a reason. She didn’t know the reason yet, but it wasn’t common for someone to change without a cause. So, she’d wait and eventually find out. No. Even if she didn’t find out, it would be fine as long as this peace could last. But then…

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

Afrosa, who had been gazing at him absentmindedly, was suddenly asked by Alec. He seemed to think something was odd since she hadn’t eaten anything even though they had been sitting at the table for a while. Afrosa shook her head, took a bite of thick bread with dried figs inside. Their newlywed life wasn’t rich, but it was still more comfortable than most in the village. They didn’t have to beg the villagers for food or firewood during harsh winters. All of this was thanks to Elec’s hard work. Ever since he had vowed never to let them go hungry after marriage, he had made sure they were never lacking.

Maybe it was because he had grown up in extreme poverty, starving as an orphan. Alec had promised that he would never let Afrosa go hungry. He also promised to protect her no matter what happened. He made that vow in front of her father, swearing on God’s name, and her father didn’t say a word in response.

Now that she thought about it, her father had been somewhat distant when he saw Alec, the man who came to pay the bride price. Even before the wedding, her father had seemed uneasy. Thinking back, the two of them had gotten along quite well up until that point.

“Honey.”

“Yeah?”

“About that taxidermy in Zenas’s store…”

Afrosa didn’t know how to start the conversation. The stag’s taxidermy hanging on the wall in the shop had been unexpected for her too. It was so large and of such good quality that she’d always thought it looked out of place when she passed by. But she never imagined it was the one Alec had caught. Afrosa hadn’t known. She hadn’t expected her father to give that particular piece of taxidermy to someone else. It upset her. Her father wasn’t the kind of person to do that. What had happened?

“Ah, that.”

After swallowing the food he had been mumbling over, Alec spoke up.

“I knew about it. The priest came to me first and told me.”

“When?”

“It was a while ago. The priest had been behind on the village operating fees for several months, and in exchange for paying the debt, the elder asked for the taxidermy.”

“Ah…”

In the village, there was a system called the village operating fund, which was essentially a form of donation collected to ensure the smooth running of the village. Unlike taxes paid to the lord, everyone living in the village was required to contribute to this fund, with penalties for those who failed to pay. It didn’t matter whether they were priests, doctors, or anyone else; it was a widespread and often resented practice. Complaints about it had existed for a long time, but even when protests became frequent, nothing changed. This was because the elder, Mr. Tassen, who was also Zenas’s father, was the de facto manager of the village. There were separate taxes collected by the lord and the operating fees collected by the elder. The elder himself didn’t have to pay, but the operating fees he gathered for the village rose slightly every year. The villagers grumbled and spoke ill of the elder’s family, but Mr. Tassen, being the wealthiest and longest-standing figure in the village, showed an authoritarian attitude, pressing the villagers down.

If an outsider looked at the situation, they might wonder how such things could happen in such a small village, but there was nothing they could do. Laurent had long been an isolated village with no external connections, and the people living there had maintained this way of life for generations.

Mr. Tassen was the only one in the village who could directly communicate with the lord. This was probably why the Tassen family maintained such authority in the village. The Tassen family had been in contact with the lord’s family for generations, and as the village representative, they were the only ones who could receive the lord.

“The chapel’s operation became difficult. I understand.”

Afrosa’s father had managed the village chapel on his own, without any donations. Normally, chapels were funded by donations from the villagers or, in larger cities where the lord resided, by the lord’s family. However, Afrosa’s father didn’t want to turn the only place of rest for the villagers into another form of exploitation through donations.

The operating fees collected by the elder’s family had risen as much as the taxes, which made it hard for the villagers. In the end, Afrosa’s father had to cover the losses on his own. He could have earned money by working as a doctor, but ever since Mr. Tassen had brought in another doctor to settle in the village, he had been unable to do that. So, apart from drying and selling medicinal herbs or creating and selling commentary on the Bible, there was little else he could do. And now, with the village operating fees… other fathers might have asked their daughters for help, but her father was a man who rarely showed signs of struggle.

“But is it okay to do that?”

“What?”

“That taxidermy. The elder wanted it, so it was given in place of the operating fees. But you… today…”

“I paid it for him not long ago. In exchange, I agreed to return the taxidermy to the priest, but seeing it still hanging in the shop, it seems like he has no intention of giving it back.”

Alec, who had been eating oatmeal with turnips, spoke with a sharp voice. Afrosa couldn’t find a response and quietly continued eating her oatmeal. Elec had previously paid the operating fees for her father once before.

As a professional hunter, Alec earned more than her father, who was a priest. Just like the vow he made before their marriage, he had never let Afrosa go hungry. Thanks to him, she lived more comfortably than she had before marriage. With her husband being more capable than her father, she wore clothes for each season and sometimes wore dresses made from fine fabric that could only be found in larger cities. Of course, they might not have been real dresses by noble standards, but in her eyes, they were fine dresses.

“Hey, Alec, you know… the operating fee you paid for my father. I’ve saved up some money recently. Do you remember I sold a piece of my embroidery to Mrs. Tassen?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s the money I got from it. I was wondering if I could pay you back. I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for my father, but with this, I feel like I owe you too much…”

Her words trailed off. Afrosa fumbled, glancing at her husband to gauge his reaction. Alec remained silent. She wanted to explain herself more clearly but found herself unable to speak.

“I’m always grateful, but…”

“Your money, my money.”

Alec looked up after finishing his oatmeal. His face had no expression. Afrosa shrank back, biting her lip and lowering her gaze.