Chapter 31

【Someone tell me, am I blind?】

【My wide grin froze in an instant. You call this beauty “Granny”?】

【Or tell me her name is Jinwen Granny! I refuse to accept this!】

【I never imagined Jinwen would appear in front of the camera like this.】

【Who would have thought that in this livestream, I found my baby, my husband, and now my long-lost wife?】

【Don’t you have your own wife? Why are you calling her my wife?】

In the camera frame, Jinwen wore a long white cotton-linen dress, her hair tied up with a wooden hairpin, exuding an aura of gentle beauty. The livestream chat exploded with excitement.

Little Qi Wu happily threw herself into Jinwen’s arms. Jinwen had taken care of her during her first three years in the Underworld, so she had always been very close to her.

Su Wen turned off the music and calmly walked out, pretending as if nothing had happened.

Kong Lin glanced at him and smiled slightly. “I never imagined Lord Su would be so coordinated in his movements.”

Jinwen chuckled softly while holding the Little King of Hell.

Su Wen silently looked up at Kong Lin for a few seconds before suddenly saying, “Qi Wu.”

Little Qi Wu looked up from Meng Po’s embrace. “Hmm?”

“Uncle Kong Lin is really good at dancing.”

Kong Lin’s smile froze. “I didn’t know that.”

“I know, and that’s enough,” Su Wen said leisurely. “He’s the best at dancing.”

Little Qi Wu immediately turned her eager gaze to Kong Lin. “Uncle Kong Lin!”

“I’m not, I don’t, I can’t,” Kong Lin denied in quick succession. “Why do you suddenly want to dance, Qi Wu?”

Su Wen said indifferently, “Qi Wu wants to teach everyone.”

The “everyone” here was understood by the three Ghosts and Gods.

Su Wen immediately placed a big responsibility on him. “So, Lord Kong Lin will surely sacrifice himself for the greater good.”

Kong Lin: “…”

Little Qi Wu clapped her hands. “Uncle Kong Lin is so amazing!”

【Kong Lin: So I’m the unlucky one?】

【Don’t be modest, let’s all dance together. I’m ready.】

【Can we invite Jinwen Granny too? Shy.jpg】

【Wait, what I’m curious about is why you all call each other “Lord”? Is this some special ritual?】

【”Lord” sounds so cool, it’s got a nice ring to it.】

【Maybe they’re just joking? They’re clearly trying to outwit each other.】

Kong Lin couldn’t laugh anymore. He turned his head and coughed lightly, forcefully changing the subject. “Let’s talk about the main issue. We’re here for a reason.”

Su Wen sneered.

Oh right, the Ghosts and Gods must have come up for a purpose. Little Qi Wu asked curiously, “Granny, why are you here?”

“Well,” Jinwen looked at Su Wen, “we’re here to learn, um, computer work?”

【Jinwen’s voice is so gentle.】

【Why not let Jinwen take care of the child? She seems perfect for it.】

【Maybe they’re taking turns.】

【I finally understand why Little Qi Wu is so beautiful. Everyone around her is so good-looking. I’m so envious.】

【Hey, hey, stay focused. Pay attention to the main point.】

【Learning computer work? What kind of job still hasn’t implemented computer work?】

【Stay alert, some people didn’t even know pinyin before.】

【Su Wen: Are you being polite?】

Previously, Lin Dingqi had suggested bringing a few Ghosts and Gods over to try learning computer-based office work, so Su Wen quickly relayed the message to The Underworld. However, he didn’t expect that Jin Wen and Kǒng Lǐn would be the ones to come.

He gently furrowed his brow. “If both of you are here, what will happen over there?”

With the three major Ghosts and Gods of The Underworld all in the Human Realm, wouldn’t The Underworld fall into chaos without its leaders?

Jin Wen replied softly, “That One is there.”

Su Wen was momentarily stunned. Right, the Emperor is still there.

“With That One around, basically no one dares to rebel,” Kǒng Lǐn said with confidence in the Emperor’s temperament. After all, if any ghost caused trouble, the Emperor would surely beat them to the point where they wouldn’t even recognize the Book of Life and Death.

That was genuine Evil Ghost Power, a presence even more terrifying than evil spirits.

[What’s with the riddles? Is there someone who can’t be mentioned?]

[Folks, based on the order of their appearances, I think if the one they’re referring to shows up, I’ll be even more shocked.]

[Rubbing my hands together, starting to get excited.]

[Is this some big company? They’re even managing people? Afraid of rebellion?]

[Wake up, what big company doesn’t know how to use computers for office work?]

[Damn, these people are becoming more and more mysterious.]

[Computer-based office work? I just accepted the idea that they’re transmigrated. Can someone give me a new setting to rebuild my worldview?]

Soon, the audience pieced together all the information and realized, damn, the identities of these people had once again become a mystery.

If they were some fallen nobility, it wouldn’t make sense for them not to know pinyin, the alphabet, or how to use modern appliances.

If they were transmigrated, the idea that they’re now starting to work and learn computer-based office work is even more absurd.

[Director, maybe you should release the script. Which genius screenwriter’s brainchild is this? We mortals really can’t figure it out.]

Jin Wen rarely came to the Human Realm. This time, it was mainly because the workload in the Reincarnation Department was heavy, and she heard that computer-based office work could improve efficiency. She asked with slight confusion, “But what is computer-based office work?”

Su Wen: “I don’t know.”

Kǒng Lǐn, however, had something to say: “I’ve seen it.”

He recalled, “It’s a small box. As long as there’s internet and electricity, it works. Many people use it.”

Jin Wen nodded. “We should be getting electricity and internet soon.”

[…Are there still places in the country without electricity?]

[Which remote mountain village are they from?]

[No, even rural areas aren’t this backward. I’m really confused, truly.]

[Don’t guess~ the more you guess, the less you’ll understand~]

[I know I can’t figure it out, but I can’t help it, sob.]

Although she didn’t understand, Little Qī Wú loved learning. She curiously peeked out, “Grandma, Qī Wú wants to see computer-based office work too.”

Jin Wen: “Of course, Qī Wú can see it.”

Kǒng Lǐn, listening to this exchange, suddenly said, “I feel like I’m at a disadvantage here.”

In the Human Realm, Jin Wen was often referred to as Meng Po, though few now knew that her real name was Jin Wen. However, in The Underworld, many ghosts knew she was in charge of the Reincarnation Department, hence they also called her Lady Meng Po.

When the Little King of Hell was still babbling, she had heard others call her that and thus referred to her as Grandma. But now they were in the Human Realm.

Jin Wen looked like an ordinary woman in her twenties, so calling her Grandma was a bit exaggerated.

Kǒng Lǐn: “Qī Wú calls Su Wen Dad, calls me Uncle, and calls you Grandma?”

Jin Wen smiled. “Is there a problem?”

“It’s a big issue,” Kong Lin said, looking at the Little King of Hell. “Qi Wu, how about calling Jinwen ‘Auntie’ from now on?”

“Otherwise, Su Wen and I would be a generation lower than her.”

Qi Wu didn’t understand the concept of generational hierarchy, but her kindergarten teacher had taught her that her mother’s sisters were called “Auntie,” and her father’s brothers were called “Uncle.”

She was a bit hesitant: “But, Qi Wu doesn’t have a mom. Can I still call her ‘Auntie’?”

Kong Lin: “Of course you can.”

“Think about it, Jinwen is the same as me and Su Wen. If you call her ‘Granny’ now, then Su Wen and I would have to call her ‘Auntie’ later.”

Little Qi Wu thought for a moment. The three Ghosts and Gods were the heads of the Three Bureaus. If Uncle Kong Lin and Judge Dad had to call Jinwen Granny “Auntie,” it would indeed seem strange.

“Alright,” she reluctantly agreed and asked Jinwen, “Then from now on, Qi Wu will call you Auntie Jinwen.”

Jinwen nodded: “I prefer ‘Auntie’ too.”

For her, any title would do, but hearing people call her “Granny” all the time made her feel quite old, even though she indeed was quite old.

But the appearances of Ghosts and Gods don’t change, and with more Karma, they might even look younger. Hearing “Auntie” felt more comforting—it was a different experience.

[Their circle is really chaotic; even titles can be changed so casually.]

[If I had known earlier, why did they call her “Granny” in the first place? Such a beautiful lady!]

[When will the program team start the interactive live stream again? I’ve already gathered so many questions to ask.]

Jinwen looked around and asked, “When should we go?”

Su Wen: “At this time, they should be off work.”

Kong Lin slapped his forehead: “Right, I forgot their working hours are from nine to five. Let’s go tomorrow then.”

Jinwen nodded, slightly disappointed: “Then let’s go back and come again tomorrow?”

Su Wen: “Wait.”

“Hmm?”

Su Wen slightly raised his eyes, remained silent for a few seconds, and for once, his gaze toward Jinwen carried a hint of warmth: “Since we’re already here.”

Jinwen: “?”

Su Wen: “Let’s cook a meal for Qi Wu.”

[Hahahahahahahaha]

[Another day of finding ways to cook for Zai Zai.]

Thinking of Su Wen’s cooking skills, Kong Lin also became serious: “Indeed, I’m worried Qi Wu won’t get proper meals and might grow up crooked.”

Jinwen was surprised. Does the Little King of Hell need to eat in the Human Realm? She thought Incense Offerings would be enough.

Su Wen, as if reading her mind, said: “Eating provides nutrition.”

Oh, that’s true. When Ghosts and Gods were humans, they did need to eat.

Jinwen adjusted her hair bun and said somewhat sheepishly, “It’s been many years since I last cooked. I’m not sure how it’ll turn out.”

Kong Lin: “Don’t be modest. It’ll definitely be better than Su Wen’s.”

“Alright then.”

Soon, the three Ghosts and Gods, along with Little Qi Wu, entered the kitchen. Jinwen’s eyes lit up as she saw the kitchen utensils and various appliances: “So, cooking is this convenient now?”

Little Qi Wu led Jinwen around, introducing everything: “Auntie, these are all automatic! They’re super convenient!”

Jinwen smiled warmly: “It seems development has truly progressed well.”

With these tools, brewing the Soup of Oblivion would also be much easier, right? Otherwise, with Karma being so scarce these days, the Ghost Messengers have to burn firewood every day, which is quite tiring.

She looked at Qi Wu: “Once we get electricity, can I have these in my place too?”

Little Qi Wu immediately nodded: “Of course! Qi Wu will buy Auntie a big one!”

“Thank you.”

【Huh? Buying things needs to ask Zai Zai?】

【Haven’t you noticed that whether it’s Su Wen, Kǒng Lǐn, or now Jin Wen, they all treat Zai Zai exceptionally well? It’s a kind of goodness that’s hard to describe, but it’s like everything revolves around Zai Zai.】

【And when Kǒng Lǐn came earlier, he even addressed Zai Zai as ‘you’ with respect. They really seem to revere Zai Zai.】

【Getting electricity and buying appliances, it’s truly heartbreaking to hear.】

As the only Ghost and God familiar with kitchen appliances, Su Wen introduced everything to Jin Wen and then stepped aside.

The two adults and one child stared intently, making Jin Wen feel a bit pressured, but she was more than willing to cook for the Little King of Hell.

Although her memories were a bit distant and there were many new ingredients now, her talent quickly shone through as she prepared four dishes and a soup, all of which were truly a feast for the eyes, nose, and taste buds, leaving the Ghosts and Gods in awe.

Kǒng Lǐn clapped his hands: “Cooking that stuff every day is really a waste of talent.”

Jin Wen smiled. She had tried it, and there were no major issues, so she said to Little Qi Wu, “Qi Wu, want to give it a try?”

“Mm-hmm!”

Su Wen lifted Little Qi Wu onto the table, and the three Ghosts and Gods watched her movements closely. Jin Wen served her some food on a small plate, and Little Qi Wu tasted it carefully.

Then, her eyes curved into a smile as she happily said, “Auntie! It’s delicious!”

Jin Wen breathed a slight sigh of relief. Little Qi Wu pushed the dishes toward them: “Let’s eat together.”

“Okay.”

【Finally, we get to eat a proper meal. It’s truly tear-jerking.】

【Jin Wen is really good at taking care of children. Su Wen… huh? Su Wen seems a bit unhappy.】

【Of course, he’s unhappy. He’s been overshadowed. Originally, it was Jin Wen who took care of the child, and now he can’t do anything.】

【But you can tell he’s really trying to learn for Zai Zai’s sake.】

Su Wen took a couple of bites of the food Jin Wen had prepared and looked at the Little King of Hell’s happy expression, feeling like the food had lost its flavor.

Kǒng Lǐn was right; Jin Wen was more suited to take care of the Little King of Hell than he was.

If this had been said earlier, he would have gladly handed the Little King of Hell over to Jin Wen without hesitation. But now…

He felt a bit despicably that he could still take care of her a little longer.

But upon reflection, he realized he wasn’t good at anything.

Suddenly, a pair of small hands pushed the dish toward him. Little Qi Wu’s eyes curved as she said in a sweet, childish voice, “Dad, eat this.”

Su Wen’s fingers twitched slightly: “Mm.”

Little Qi Wu had always been close to Jin Wen, and since this was Jin Wen’s first time in the Human Realm, after the meal, she took Jin Wen around the Temple of the King of Hell, introducing her to all the new things. She even turned on the TV that Uncle Lin Dingqi had sent: “This is a TV. You can see people inside, and there are cartoons too. Qi Wu likes to watch Paw Patrol. Qi Wu will show Auntie!”

Meanwhile, the other two Ghosts and Gods were sent to the kitchen to wash dishes and clean up.

【Somehow, it feels like these three adults and one child are like a family, haha.】

【Not really. Sometimes Su Wen still seems a bit distant from everyone.】

【Dad, Uncle, Auntie—just missing a mom. When can I step in to fill that role?】

【Su Wen has been taking care of Little Qi Wu for so long, and now that Little Qi Wu sees Auntie, she doesn’t need Dad anymore. I feel a bit sad for Su Wen.】

【Children, there’s always one who’s truly close to you. But it seems Su Wen has noticed it too—he’s been speaking even less lately.】

Kǒng Lǐn, having known Su Wen for many years, naturally sensed the change in him. After spending so much time with the Little King of Hell, his emotional shifts had become more pronounced.

He asked, “What’s wrong? Feeling the gap?”

Su Wen paused briefly before resuming his actions as usual. “What gap?”

Kǒng Lǐn chuckled. “Is it Jin Wen? Does she make you feel inadequate?”

Su Wen replied indifferently, “She does better than I do.”

“True,” Kǒng Lǐn admitted without hesitation. “But you’re not doing badly either.”

Su Wen tilted his head slightly.

Kǒng Lǐn was washing fruits, not looking up. “To be honest, when we decided you’d take care of Qi Wu, I thought you wouldn’t last more than three days.”

“I never imagined you’d spend so much time with someone day and night.”

Su Wen frowned slightly. “Then why did you still let me take her?”

“We had to try, didn’t we?” Kǒng Lǐn placed the fruits in the three-flower plate he had brought earlier. “Looking at it now, it was a good decision.”

Su Wen was silent for a few seconds. “I haven’t taken good care of her.”

“What do you mean?” Kǒng Lǐn countered. “Isn’t Qi Wu very happy now?”

“If you’re talking about meals, there are many ways to make sure she eats well. It’s not just about cooking yourself, and you’re already learning.” Kǒng Lǐn turned around. “Lord Su, have you forgotten how capable you are?”

He smiled. “You’re omnipotent, the one who surpassed both me and Jin Wen the moment you arrived.”

Su Wen took a tissue to dry his hands and walked to the kitchen door, looking at Jin Wen and the Little King of Hell sitting together watching cartoons. “She’ll like Jin Wen more. If that’s inevitable, I can take over Jin Wen’s duties for her in the future.”

“Don’t do that,” Kǒng Lǐn shook his head. “No one is replaceable. Jin Wen isn’t, and neither are you. Why not see what Little Qi Wu thinks?”

Su Wen didn’t respond.

Kǒng Lǐn carried the fruits past him and walked over to Jin Wen and Little Qi Wu.

Su Wen stood where he was, not moving forward.

【Although I often say Su Wen isn’t good at taking care of children, seeing him like this does make me feel a bit sad for him.】

【He’s really trying his best to be good to the child.】

【That plate—now I see it clearly—it really looks like a three-flower plate from the Tang Dynasty!】

Kǒng Lǐn walked over and placed the fruits on the table, then bent down to ask the Little King of Hell, “Qi Wu, do you like being with Aunt Jin Wen?”

Little Qi Wu nodded. “Yes!”

“What if Aunt Jin Wen stayed to take care of you?”

Little Qi Wu was stunned for a moment. “What about Dad?”

“Dad can go back and take over Aunt Jin Wen’s work.”

Little Qi Wu’s face immediately turned serious. She pursed her lips tightly and finally said, “Qi Wu likes Auntie, likes Uncle, and likes Dad.”

“Qi Wu wants to be with all of you.”

“But you… you adults all have things to do,” she said earnestly. “Qi Wu won’t disturb you. Don’t stop doing your own things because of Qi Wu.”

This Little King of Hell has such a broad perspective.

Kǒng Lǐn was slightly surprised. He nodded thoughtfully. “So that’s how it is.”

Little Qi Wu nervously tugged at her little dress and whispered, “Also, Qi Wu feels that Dad really needs Qi Wu.”

Kǒng Lǐn and Jin Wen were both taken aback and exchanged glances.

Little Qi Wu said, “So Qi Wu should still stay with Dad.”

After a long while, Jin Wen smiled and patted the Little King of Hell’s head, “Qi Wu is right.”

When they initially decided to let Su Wen come to the Human Realm, she and Kǒng Lǐn had hoped that the cold-faced Judge, as the ghosts called him, could get a taste of human life. They were worried that if Su Wen continued as he was, he might truly get lost among the evil spirits at the Netherworld Gate.

After Little Qi Wu finished speaking, she noticed that Judge Dad was nowhere to be seen. She looked around and then ran out.

“Dad!”

Su Wen, standing at the kitchen door, was brought back to reality by this call, “Hmm?”

Little Qi Wu rushed into his arms, “Are those dishes packed yet?”

“Yes.”

There were still some dishes specifically set aside to bring down to the Emperor.

“Then it’s getting late, let’s go offer incense and sleep!” Little Qi Wu said, “Tomorrow, Dad still has to take Qi Wu to kindergarten, and Uncle and Auntie have to go study too!”

Su Wen was momentarily stunned, only then realizing what the Little King of Hell meant. He had been somewhat distracted earlier, perhaps deliberately not listening to the Little King of Hell’s answer after Kǒng Lǐn asked that question, so he hadn’t heard what they said.

Now, was the Little King of Hell going to stay with him?

“Bring the dishes over,” Kǒng Lǐn and Jin Wen came out, “It’s getting late, we should head back too.”

It took several seconds before Su Wen somewhat awkwardly composed himself. He lowered his eyes and suddenly smiled, “Alright.”

[Wow, I thought Zai Zai didn’t want Dad anymore!]

[Zai Zai is really so warm.]

Returning to the Underworld, Jin Wen first took the dishes to the Emperor who had been living in the Hall of the King of Hell. Inside were also many little treats and snacks that the Little King of Hell had secretly packed.

The Beiyin Emperor, with half-closed eyes, lifted his eyelids at the sound, “Back so soon?”

“They finished work today, they’ll go again tomorrow,” Jin Wen brought the things to him, “These are some items Lord Yama brought for you.”

The Beiyin Emperor glanced at them and said without much emotion, “Always just food and drinks, truly a little cub.”

Jin Wen smiled and said, “For humans, being able to eat and drink is quite nice.”

The Beiyin Emperor said, “Leave it there. I want to rest.”

“Alright.”

After Jin Wen retreated, the Beiyin Emperor slowly got up and opened the food box. Looking at the colorful candies and the still steaming dishes, he twitched the corner of his mouth: “So, even I can have food from the Human Realm one day.”

“Thanks to you, little cub.”

The next day, Little Qi Wu remembered that her uncle and aunt were going to learn about computers. She was also very curious, so she had been looking forward to the end of class all day, even getting distracted a few times during square dance practice.

Finally, when her dad came to pick her up from school, she was surprised to see her uncle and aunt there as well.

Unable to contain her curiosity, Little Qi Wu asked as soon as she saw them: “Uncle, Aunt, how was learning about computers today? I didn’t get to see!”

Su Wen picked her up and glanced back at the two Ghosts and Gods.

[For some reason, I feel like Su Wen is a bit happy right now.]

[I also think he seems a bit smug.]

Kǒng Lǐn, who was questioned by the Little Yan Wang, coughed lightly and turned his head away.

“Huh?” Little Qi Wu asked in confusion, “What’s wrong?”

Jin Wen also fell silent for a moment before softly saying, “To be honest, Kǒng Lǐn and I spent the whole day learning the pinyin alphabet.”

Little Qi Wu’s eyes widened in realization, and she covered her mouth: “Oh! Uncle and Aunt don’t know pinyin!”

Little Qi Wu looked worried: “Do you want me to teach you, Uncle and Aunt?”

Su Wen finally couldn’t help but let a slight smile curl at the corner of his mouth.

At least he wasn’t completely useless.

[LOL, a family of illiterates.]

[Su Wen, can you be a bit more valuable?]

[What are you smirking about? Is this something to be proud of?!]