Chapter 4

Facing the gazes of the two adults and one child, Su Wen felt a chill run down his spine: “…Me?”

He laughed in exasperation: “What kind of joke is this?”

“It’s not a joke.”

As he spoke, Kong Lin leisurely took out a piece of paper and spread it on the wooden table. The pros and cons were clearly listed in detail.

Little Qi Wu leaned over to take a look, but she realized she couldn’t recognize any of the words. She could barely make out some numbers like one, two, and three. She asked Jin Wen beside her in confusion: “Meng Po, what does it say?”

Since there were no outsiders here, Jin Wen picked her up and said gently, “It’s nothing. Are you tired today, my lord? Let me take you to sleep.”

At this, Little Qi Wu did feel a bit sleepy, but she vaguely understood that the content on the paper was related to her. Rubbing her eyes, she asked, “But…shouldn’t I look at this?”

Jin Wen replied, “No need. This is a matter for the Judge and the City God. We’ll come back after they finish discussing.”

Little Qi Wu glanced at the City God and then at the Judge, who looked sullen. “Then you two talk properly and don’t get angry.”

Kong Lin nodded, “Don’t worry, my lord.”

Little Qi Wu then looked at the Judge. Su Wen turned his head and reluctantly said, “I won’t get angry.”

Little Qi Wu patted his hand, then held her milk bottle and obediently stayed in Jin Wen’s arms, letting her carry her away to rest.

After Jin Wen left with the Little King of Hell, Kong Lin continued, “You see, the King of Hell is only three years old now. We can still teach her, but what about in the future? We can teach her to read, but there’s so much more we can’t do.”

“It will take over ten years for her to grow up. The current environment in the Underworld won’t allow her to grow up smoothly like the Ten Kings of Hell did in the past. Don’t you understand that?” Kong Lin sighed. “Although Jin Wen made that milk bottle herself to store milk, we don’t know how long the milk inside will last. What will we do when she grows up and stops drinking milk?”

Su Wen, who had barely interacted with the Little King of Hell over the past three years and had never raised a child, had never considered these things.

But now it suddenly dawned on him that the Little King of Hell couldn’t read the Book of Life and Death. In the future, she would need to learn so much more. To restore the Underworld to its former glory, the things from a thousand years ago couldn’t compare to many things in the Human Realm today.

He was annoyed: “Why me?”

All he knew was how to fight evil spirits. How could he take care of a child?

Kong Lin knew his initial goal had been achieved and pointed to the notes at the bottom.

“I’ve been to the Human Realm these past few days to investigate,” he said. “The situation that ghost mentioned does exist. Besides learning, if the King of Hell wants to gain Faith Merit from the Human Realm in a short time, this method is the most effective.”

On the paper, one line clearly read: “Me and My Kid,” with an explanation: A variety show broadcast simultaneously on TV and the internet in the Human Realm.

Even though Su Wen had never seen it, he had heard in the Underworld what these variety shows were for. His handsome face darkened: “You want the King of Hell to participate in something like this?”

“Why not?” Kong Lin moved his finger down and pointed to the rewards section. “If we can get these rewards and have the King of Hell personally convert them into Incense and Candle Offerings for the Underworld, how much better off would the countless ghosts in the Underworld be?”

At this moment, Jin Wen also walked out from inside: “Indeed, under the current circumstances where Karma is clearly insufficient, money from the Human Realm is the most straightforward way of conversion.”

Kong Lin got straight to the point: “To put it bluntly, we’re poor.”

Su Wen: “…”

Kong Lin: “Moreover, if more people like Lord Yama, wouldn’t faith come faster?”

Su Wen found it absurd: “This kind of liking, compared to faith?”

“Why not?” Kong Lin had also considered this for a long time, “What the Gods are like in people’s hearts is ultimately imagined. If they like it, we should try it out. Otherwise, how many more years will it take to merge the Karma of the new and old Kings of Hell?”

Su Wen: “Then let’s come back to the question, why me?”

Jin Wen pointed outside: “That ghost just now said, it has to be someone good-looking.”

Su Wen: “…”

He slowly closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then pointed at himself: “Good-looking? The ten thousand ghosts in the Underworld would rather not see me.”

“It’s different. You’re the Judge, constantly dealing with evil spirits, so naturally, ghosts fear you,” Jin Wen said, “But the Human Realm is different. In the Human Realm, your type is considered a cool guy.”

“Nonsense.”

“I’ve seen many ghosts on the Bridge of Helplessness, and you’re definitely handsome,” Jin Wen assured with a smile, “Although Kong Lin is also good, compared to you, his edges aren’t as sharp.”

Kong Lin wasn’t the least bit upset about being said to be less handsome than the Judge; instead, he nodded in agreement.

Su Wen lifted his eyelids: “What about you?”

Jin Wen shook her head: “The combination of a cool guy and a sweet girl is more popular. Besides, because of taking care of the Lord, the Reincarnation Department is overwhelmed. The Bridge of Helplessness is so congested now. Taking advantage of the improving situation, I need to hurry and send the lingering ghosts to reincarnation.”

Kong Lin: “You have four assistants under the Judge’s Office. Now that the Netherworld Gate has temporarily quieted down, overall, you’re the most suitable.”

Su Wen listened to their back-and-forth and finally understood: “So you two have already thought it through and are plotting against me?”

“Taking care of the Lord can’t be called plotting,” Kong Lin immediately shook his head, “What, do you think she’s disobedient, not cute, and hard to take care of?”

Su Wen: “Don’t dig a pit for me.”

Recalling how the Little King of Hell had held his hand before leaving, asking him not to be angry, Su Wen held back, feeling even more annoyed: “I’ve never taken care of a child.”

“You can learn,” Jin Wen also took out a piece of paper, “I’ve written down all the precautions for you.”

Su Wen: “…Isn’t this still plotting?”

But for the development of the Underworld and for the Little King of Hell to grow up smoothly, Su Wen finally agreed to take on this task.

After Su Wen agreed, the City God quickly used his method to submit their application forms for them. Upon receiving the notice to go for an interview, they prepared to leave the Underworld.

On the day of departure, the Little King of Hell stood in front of the Hall of the King of Hell, holding a milk bottle, with Su Wen beside her, empty-handed. Surprisingly, neither of them had any luggage.

For some reason, seeing this scene, Jin Wen actually felt a bit heartbroken.

Kong Lin took out a small backpack and handed it over: “I bought this with the Karma box from the City God Temple. You can use it for now. It also contains some fresh offerings.”

The small backpack was quite cute, pink with two little ears.

This was the first time Little Qi Wu had seen something like this. She stood on tiptoe and pinched it: “These ears are fluffy.”

Su Wen took the items and looked down at the fruits and biscuits inside. Indeed… they were offerings.

For the first time in years, he felt the pinch of life’s hardships.

“Di Ting should go too. After all, he is the Lord’s mount and can protect the Lord,” Jin Wen called Di Ting in and said, “But when you go to the Human Realm, change your appearance. Turn into a dog.”

Di Ting was overjoyed to accompany Lord Yama to the Human Realm and didn’t mind pretending to be a dog. He immediately started circling around Little Qi Wu.

Kong Lin finished giving all the instructions: “We’ve already found a place for you to stay. We’ll visit often.”

Su Wen stood still, his dark eyes deep and silent.

Little Qi Wu had already learned from Grandma Meng Po that she was going to the Human Realm to study. So now, full of confidence and determined to be a good King of Hell, she looked up in confusion when she saw the Judge standing still.

Su Wen, with her small backpack slung over one shoulder, crouched down: “Lord, you will be living with me in the Human Realm from now on. Are you willing?”

Little Qi Wu didn’t hesitate: “Yes.”

Su Wen: “…Aren’t you going to think about it? Aren’t you worried I might not take good care of you?”

Little Qi Wu thought for a moment: “I am the King of Hell. I will, um… no, a great King of Hell should learn to take care of herself.”

She then looked at him firmly: “I can also learn to take care of you. Don’t be afraid.”

Jin Wen was already starting to wipe away tears for the sensible Little King of Hell.

Su Wen looked at the tiny figure before him and found himself at a loss for words. He had considered so many things, yet this child was more resolute than he was.

Finally, he picked up the Little King of Hell: “Alright, let’s go.”

After Su Wen left with Lord Yama, Jin Wen suddenly remembered something: “Wait, that’s not right. How did you find a place for them to stay in the Human Realm?”

Kong Lin paused: “There’s an old Temple of the King of Hell. No one goes there to offer sacrifices anymore.”

Jin Wen: “…Aren’t you afraid Su Wen will come back and fight you?”

“You don’t understand. The rent in North City is too expensive. Nowadays, only during traditional festivals does the City God Temple receive Karma. Even if I turned the Karma box upside down, I wouldn’t have enough money. If I rented a place, they wouldn’t have any money to live on these days.” Kong Lin coughed lightly: “It’s been cleaned up. They’ll have to endure some hardship for a while. Struggle builds character.”

Human Realm.

“Wow, it’s my temple!”

Su Wen stared intently at the desolate Temple of the King of Hell, a vein throbbing on his forehead: “…I can see that.”

The Little King of Hell turned to him: “Are you angry again?”

Su Wen took a deep breath: “No.”

The Temple of the King of Hell that Kong Lin mentioned had indeed been cleaned. It was located on a hill in a deserted park in North City. It was relatively clean, with a main gate. In front was the statue of the King of Hell that people in the Human Realm used to worship, but it bore no resemblance to the one in his arms. Behind it was a small courtyard for the Temple Keeper and others to live in. The words “Temple of the King of Hell” at the entrance were almost illegible.

Su Wen wasn’t upset about the poor environment. He was angry—angry that the Temple of the King of Hell had fallen into such a state, even worse than the City God Temple.

Su Wen had originally planned to drop off their belongings and then go sign up for the child-rearing reality show. But when he turned around, he realized that he and the Little King of Hell had nothing at all. This made him even more disheartened.

Leaving Di Ting to watch the house, Su Wen took the Little King of Hell down the mountain for the first time.

One big and one small figure stood at the intersection. The Human Realm was bustling with cars coming and going, and the traffic was so complex that it completely stunned the Little King of Hell. She tightly held Su Wen’s hand, her expression somewhat nervous.

This place was entirely different from the Underworld.

“Judge…” The Little King of Hell shrank closer to him.

Only then did Su Wen realize that even though she was the King of Hell, she was still fearful of the unknown. In the Human Realm, she was just an innocent child.

He bent down and picked up the Little King of Hell in his arms. “Lord, don’t be afraid.”

Little Qi Wu clung tightly to him but also reached out her small hand to pat him gently, her voice soft. “Ben Wang, Ben Wang is not afraid. You shouldn’t be afraid either.”

Su Wen was momentarily stunned, and the furrow between his brows gradually relaxed.

It seemed that the days spent alone with the Little King of Hell wouldn’t be too bad.

Having not visited the Human Realm for a long time, the two of them didn’t realize that their clothes were inappropriate until they noticed the gazes of passersby.

Seeing a strikingly beautiful pair, one big and one small, dressed in peculiar outfits, the passersby were curious. Some even took out their phones to take pictures, while others directly approached and asked, “Are you cosplaying? Or are you from a film crew?”

Su Wen replied expressionlessly, “No.”

A girl mustered up her courage. “Wow, is it a hobby then? You both look so amazing. Can I take a photo with you?”

These are humans!

Little Qi Wu peeked out from Su Wen’s arms, looking at the girl curiously. “What is ‘take a photo’?”

The girl was utterly charmed. This child was even more beautiful than the handsome man, and she even had a cinnabar mark!

She took out her phone and opened the camera. “It means I can capture a moment with you in here!”

Little Qi Wu saw herself in the camera lens and widened her eyes. “Oh! It’s a mirror!”

Su Wen had some understanding of the Human Realm, but seeing the Little King of Hell so curious, he didn’t stop her. Instead, he whispered, “Lord, would you like to take a photo?”

Little Qi Wu shyly replied, “Um… is it okay?”

“Yes.”

The girl secretly covered her mouth. This handsome man seemed so stern, but when he spoke to the child, he actually addressed her as ‘Lord’!

The contrast was so endearing!

And so, Little Qi Wu left her first photo in a stranger’s phone.

The girl excitedly said, “The way you two interact as father and daughter is so special and heartwarming.”

Su Wen: “Father and daughter?”

The girl: “Huh? Isn’t that right? Or are you siblings?”

Su Wen didn’t respond. For the first time, he realized that he and the Little King of Hell needed some kind of identity in the Human Realm.

Pressing for time and seeing that people liked their outfits, Su Wen decided to take the Little King of Hell to the TV station for an interview.

As soon as the pair arrived at the TV station, the staff’s eyes lit up.

Su Wen got straight to the point. “We’re here to audition for ‘Me and My Kid.'”

This was the ordinary people’s channel, but the staff recalled that none of the celebrity guests could match the looks of this father and daughter pair, especially with their unique style!

It seemed like they had found the key to popularity. The staff immediately ushered them in. “Did you two specially prepare these outfits for today?”

Su Wen didn’t bother to explain. “Yes.”

“You’re definitely going to be selected!”

Indeed, when Su Wen walked into the audition room with Little Qi Wu, everyone present turned their heads in unison.

Especially the TV station’s producer, whose eyes were practically glued to them.

Before the two could speak, the producer excitedly stood up: “It’s them!”

Little Qi Wu didn’t understand. She had been obediently staying by the Judge’s side, watching him talk to these people and scribble on paper.

When Su Wen was filling out the relationship section, he hesitated for a moment. But it seemed that everyone else was participating as father and daughter. How could he, of all people, be the King of Hell’s father?

Would a nominal title be acceptable?

Seeing his hesitation, the producer, as if watching the ratings slip away, immediately said, “Is there any difficulty? We can discuss it further.”

Su Wen paused for a moment: “Wait a moment.”

He put down the pen, picked up Little Qi Wu, and left the meeting room. They walked to a secluded spot, and he crouched down: “My Lord, to participate in the show, we need a relationship.”

Little Qi Wu: “Hmm?”

Su Wen asked seriously: “Can I become your nominal father on the show?”

The daughter of heaven and earth, Little Qi Wu tilted her head: “Father?”

Su Wen explained: “That is, your guardian.”

Seeing his troubled expression, Little Qi Wu comforted him in her childish voice: “It’s okay, Ben Wang doesn’t understand, but Ben Wang will listen to you.”

She trusted him wholeheartedly. Su Wen fell silent for a moment, then solemnly helped her put on her little backpack and said in a deep voice: “Then, from now on in the show, you call me Dad, and I will address you as Lord Yama in private. We’ll keep our own titles, okay, my Lord?”

Little Qi Wu obediently put on her little backpack, took a sip from her milk bottle, and nodded seriously: “Okay, Judge Dad.”