Chapter 5

With the identity issue resolved, signing the contract was straightforward. Soon, Su Wen was ready to leave with the Little King of Hell, but the Producer stopped them.

Producer: “You are the last group of guests confirmed. Now that the contract is signed, go back and prepare. Tomorrow, our crew will come to your house to install cameras and shoot an interview video for promotion. What about WeChat? Let’s exchange phone numbers and add each other on WeChat first. The staff will contact you tomorrow.”

WeChat?

Although Su Wen knew some basic survival skills and rules of the Human Realm, he had never actually lived there. Forget WeChat, he didn’t even have a phone now.

The money given by the City God had always been treated as the Little King of Hell’s living expenses. If he bought a phone, how would the Little King of Hell live afterward?

So Su Wen said, “Tomorrow, we’ll be at the Temple of the King of Hell on Beidao Park Mountain. We’ll be there.”

Producer: “???”

What the hell?

He explained, “We need to go to your house. If you’re going to the temple to offer incense or something, we’re not filming that yet.”

Su Wen nodded, his voice calm, “That is our home.”

Producer: “…”

For a moment, he was too shocked to speak.

It was the Director who reacted first and said, “But we still need to add WeChat. It’ll be easier for the crew to contact you if anything comes up.”

Little Qi Wu clearly sensed that Judge Dad’s mood was changing again, just like when they had just returned from the Netherworld Gate. She didn’t know how to describe it, but he was clearly unhappy.

Was it because of what these people were saying that made him unhappy?

As a Lord Yama, she couldn’t let her subordinate be wronged. So she looked up and asked, “What is WeChat? Does Judge Dad have to, um… add it?”

Producer: Wow, not only are they cosplaying as father and daughter, but the titles have changed too. Interesting.

Facing a cute kid, especially an adorable one, the Producer was very patient, “WeChat is a mobile app used to contact you and your dad.”

Little Qi Wu was even more confused. In the Underworld, they didn’t need this to communicate because they had the Mystic Seal.

But she had heard of phones before. The ghosts said it was something from the Human Realm.

She blinked, “We don’t use phones.”

Everyone: “???”

Wait, you’re so trendy, cosplaying as father and daughter, and now you’re telling me you don’t use phones?

Everyone looked at Su Wen in disbelief, “Mr. Su, this…”

Su Wen remained expressionless, “We don’t have phones.”

“…”

Now, both the Director and the Producer were speechless.

However, Su Wen thought of something else and looked up to ask, “Now that the contract is signed, what about the payment?”

Producer: “Half will be paid before the show starts filming, and the other half after filming is completed.”

Su Wen nodded calmly, “Then once the payment is received, we’ll have phones.”

But the Producer wasn’t calm. He was on the verge of a breakdown. Are you saying you’re so poor you can’t even afford a phone?

The cosplay outfits you’re wearing definitely aren’t cheaper than a phone!!

He kept his composure and asked, “Are you joking?”

“We’re not joking.” Su Wen, when facing outsiders, always had that cold, somewhat intimidating expression, “We don’t have money to buy a phone.”

Little Qi Wu understood this. She nodded along, “Yes, yes, Judge Dad has no money.”

Meng Po also said the Underworld was very poor.

 She couldn’t even get enough milk to drink.

In the end, to maintain contact, the producer thought it over and decided to provide them with a sponsored phone, even including a SIM card.

As soon as Su Wen received the phone, he handed it over to Little Yan Wang. Little Qi Wu took it with both hands, her eyes curving into a smile, “Thank you.”

After Su Wen left with Little Qi Wu in his arms, the producer sat in his chair, pondering, “That father and daughter are really strange.”

The director nodded, “They said they live in the Temple of the King of Hell in North Dao Park, but I remember that park has been abandoned for a long time and hardly anyone goes there. I’ve never heard of any Temple of the King of Hell there. Could they be scammers?”

The producer stroked his chin and remained silent for a moment, “Don’t you think Little Qi Wu’s clothes resemble those on the statues of the King of Hell we’ve seen before?”

“Now that you mention it, they do.”

“Living in the Temple of the King of Hell, dressed like that,” the producer clapped his hands, “Brilliant! These two are either lunatics or they’re trying to use this to gain popularity. I think the latter is more likely.”

“But they’re amateurs,” the director worried, “Could they be uncontrollable?”

The producer laughed, “With looks like that, once they join our show, they won’t be amateurs anymore. No matter what, it’s beneficial for us.”

As they were talking, a staff member knocked on the door with a phone in hand, “Director, Producer, that father and daughter just went viral!”

The producer and director took the phone and saw that the trending photo was of Su Wen and Little Qi Wu posing with passersby. The two looked so photogenic without any editing, one might mistake it for a behind-the-scenes shot from a film set.

“Incredible, incredible! Today at the entrance of North Dao Park, I met a father and daughter. Their looks are heaven-defying, you have to see them! And I asked, they’re not celebrities.”

[Wow, are those looks for real? They’re not celebrities?]

[This is the work of the Goddess Nüwa, and I’m just a speck of mud, right?]

[I can’t decide whether to envy the adult or the child, I want both! Need a stepmother? I volunteer to help raise the second child!]

The producer was puzzled. They had just signed the contract and now they were trending. Was it really a coincidence?

But seeing the buzz, which was exactly what he wanted, he immediately called Su Wen, who had just left.

Su Wen was just about to take Little Yan Wang to buy some clothes when he received the call, instructing him to take promotional photos with Little Yan Wang wearing their current outfits.

“You’re trending, it’s the perfect time to capitalize on the buzz.”

Su Wen: “Trending?”

“You didn’t know?” The producer spoke earnestly, “If you have any plans to debut, you need to inform the production team. Otherwise, it will be inconvenient for us to manage your public relations or craft your personas.”

The more Su Wen listened, the more his brow furrowed, “We don’t have any.”

The producer joked, “You’re not really living in that abandoned park’s Temple of the King of Hell, are you? Your demeanor doesn’t match.”

“Really,” Su Wen said indifferently, “You can come and offer incense tomorrow if you like.”

The producer still didn’t believe it. What era was this? He said skeptically, “I don’t believe I can’t find their little secrets. We’re all in the entertainment industry, no need to play the big shot.”

Su Wen didn’t care whether they believed him or not. After purchasing some basic necessities, he took the Little King of Hell back to North Dao Park.

Since it was an abandoned park, there were no lights or anything inside at night.

As the two of them walked in, the sound of the wind surrounded them.

The Judge was carrying the items, so Little Qi Wu walked on her own. Not long after they entered the park, Di Ting, who had been waiting for a while, rushed over and affectionately placed the Little King of Hell on its back to carry her up the mountain.

There was no one else around, so Su Wen let it be.

Little Qi Wu lay on Di Ting’s back and took out the phone she had just gotten that day, saying happily, “Di Ting, this is a phone. It’s my first time seeing one, so I wanted to show it to you.”

After pausing for a moment, she continued, “It’s like our Mystic Seal; it can let us talk to humans.”

Di Ting asked, “Will you use this to talk to me in the future, Lord?”

“Probably not,” Little Qi Wu shook her head, worriedly saying, “Ben Wang, Ben Wang just thought, those ghosts want phones too. How can they get them?”

Su Wen’s footsteps paused slightly. Had she really remembered what those ghosts said that day?

Little Qi Wu lay on Di Ting’s back and said, “Judge Dad, it seems like we have to do a lot, a lot of things to make the Underworld better.”

Di Ting almost stumbled. What was this?

The Little King of Hell was calling the Judge “Dad”?!

This was absolutely outrageous!

It asked in disbelief, “Judge, why is the Little King of Hell calling you… Dad?”

“It’s necessary for the rules of the Human Realm,” the Judge replied, though his gaze was fixed on the Little King of Hell. After a moment, he said softly, “We’ll take it one step at a time. You’ll definitely do well, Lord.”

The Little King of Hell nodded firmly, “Yes!”

When they returned to the Temple of the King of Hell, Su Wen put down the items they had bought and took out a piece of paper. After writing and drawing on it, he hung it in front of the King of Hell Statue in the temple.

Little Qi Wu leaned over and exclaimed in delight, “That’s Ben Wang!”

“Yes,” Su Wen replied, thinking about the upcoming show. He placed the portrait inside the King of Hell Statue and then lifted the Little King of Hell onto the altar to sit. “From now on, this is where you will be worshipped.”

He then took out the incense, candles, and ghost money they had bought.

Di Ting also approached the King of Hell Statue, not daring to show any disrespect. Both the ghost god and the divine beast knelt down and lit the incense and candles.

Little Qi Wu sat on the altar holding her milk bottle, watching as the incense and candles burned. The devout faith was all absorbed into her nose, and her body became even lighter, her eyes brighter.

This was the first time Little Qi Wu had ever inhaled incense. Her eyes widened in surprise, and her little face turned red from the experience.

She covered her mouth and said, “It’s so fragrant, so delicious.”

Although it wasn’t quite as good as milk, the feeling was different. Incense represented faith, while milk was just food.

“Is this what you usually eat?” Little Qi Wu sat on the altar and handed the unburned incense to Di Ting and the Judge. “Ben Wang understands now. Ben Wang will make sure you’re well-fed in the future.”

Di Ting nuzzled her hand, and the Judge responded with a low hum.

Early the next morning, the crew of the show “Me and My Kid” carried their equipment up the mountain. The producer, Huang Peng, looked at the desolate place and thought for the first time that even if this was all an act, these two were really going all out. They had definitely hit the mark.

“Could it really be in some temple?” Director Li Ke looked around, “Why do I suddenly feel a bit creeped out?”

Huang Peng scoffed at him, “In broad daylight, what are you afraid of?”

Although he said that, upon reflection, it did seem a bit strange.

A crew member asked, “This place has been abandoned for so long, is there still electricity to set up cameras?”

“Let’s go and see,” Huang Peng said, “The cameraman will film as we go, and we’ll edit it later for material.”

The crew struggled up the mountain with their equipment, and upon reaching the summit, they found that there was indeed a temple, which looked quite dilapidated from the outside.

As they approached, they noticed a large Border Collie outside the temple, with a very fine coat and even larger than the average Border Collie. Huang Peng was speechless for a moment, “No money for a phone, but money to raise such a Border Collie?”

Di Ting thought to himself: Clueless humans, I am a Divine Beast.

It rolled its eyes and got up to walk into the temple.

The crew followed and, at a glance, saw the exceptionally beautiful little girl sitting right in the middle of the altar, one hand holding a milk bottle, sucking happily, and the other hand holding incense sticks, sniffing them with her nose.

She was still wearing the same outfit from yesterday, the tassels on her head swaying gently, her short legs kicking happily under the table, looking utterly content.

Everyone: “…”

Damn, it’s even creepier.

Seeing people arrive, Little Qi Wu’s eyes curved into a smile, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Little Qi Wu,” Huang Peng coughed lightly, “Is your Dad at home?”

“Yes,” Little Qi Wu wanted to climb down from the altar, but since the Judge wasn’t there, she thought about it and decided she could manage on her own, so she stood up ready to fly down.

Just as she lifted the hem of her Dharma robe and stood at the edge of the table, she saw the expressions of everyone in front of her change.

Huang Peng: “That’s too dangerous!”

Little Qi Wu shook her head and explained seriously, “But I can fly.”

“?”

Huang Peng was helpless, “I’ll carry you down. Your Dad shouldn’t let a child play here alone, what if you fall?”

Little Qi Wu didn’t want to trouble others, so she said, “I can fly, I won’t fall.”

Huang Peng wasn’t listening to that, he walked over and snatched the incense sticks from Little Qi Wu’s hand, “And these incense sticks, what if you accidentally eat them!”

The tasty treat was suddenly taken away, Little Qi Wu opened her little hands longingly and whispered, “I can’t eat them now.”

They need to be lit first.

Huang Peng finally felt a bit better.

Then they saw a red figure emerge from inside. It had to be said, every time they saw this man, they were amazed. The genes of this family were truly miraculous.

But he still couldn’t help himself, “What kind of parent are you! Letting a child climb so high.”

Little Qi Wu looked at the human strangely, she had already said she could fly.

She said, “It’s not high, I can fly, watch.”

Su Wen had already heard most of what was happening outside. He calmly walked over, picked up the Little King of Hell who was about to demonstrate her flying to others, and whispered in her ear, “Lord, you can’t fly now.”

Little Qi Wu immediately covered her mouth and whispered, “Is that so? Then I won’t fly…”

“Mm.”

Next, Su Wen’s gaze fell on the incense sticks that had been taken away. As if struck by a thought, he slightly raised his eyebrows and said, “Since you’re here, why don’t you all offer some incense to Lord Yama?”

Little Qi Wu’s eyes lit up at this. She could enjoy some delicious offerings again, so she also asked, “Are you going to offer incense?”

“Lord Yama will bless you.”

While worshiping gods is common, worshiping the King of Hell is something rarely heard of nowadays. No one really knows what one could gain from worshiping the King of Hell.

However, seeing the little girl’s expectant eyes, the group found it hard to refuse.

Huang Peng and Li Ke exchanged glances. The former said, “Since we’re already here.”

In the presence of ghosts and gods, with the atmosphere set, it seemed only right to show respect.

Thus, the entire crew of the show put down their equipment, each took a stick of incense, and stood neatly in front of the King of Hell Statue.

After lighting the incense, Huang Peng and Li Ke led the way. Just as they were about to bow, they saw Su Wen carry Little Qi Wu back onto the offering table, placing her squarely in the center.

The little girl even tidied her clothes properly, placing her small hands neatly, looking as if she was ready.

Huang Peng looked horrified, “What are you doing?”

Su Wen calmly took a stick of incense and said, “Qi Wu is the temple keeper of this Temple of the King of Hell, a position passed down through generations. This is a custom in our temple.”

Then everyone watched as Su Wen held the incense and devoutly bowed three times. Not only that, the big Border Collie also obediently walked over, as if understanding, stood up on its hind legs, and bowed three times.

Little Qi Wu, sitting in the center, looked well-behaved, like a little mascot, and indeed had a certain presence.

If only she wasn’t still holding a milk bottle.

Huang Peng: “…I must recite the core socialist values a hundred times when I get back.”

This family is just too bizarre.