Chapter 7

At this moment, in the Temple of the King of Hell, Di Ting was guarding a few ghosts crouching in the corner, growling, “Behave! You dare cause trouble right under the King of Hell’s nose? It seems you don’t want your souls anymore!”

The ghosts were trembling. Who would have thought that their attempt to scare some humans would bring out such a formidable deity?

Even this dog didn’t seem ordinary.

One of the ghosts hurriedly explained, “Brother Dog, Brother Dog, we were just momentarily confused. We’ve never done anything bad before!”

Di Ting’s ears perked up, “What Brother Dog! Open your ghostly eyes wide, I am the divine beast Di Ting!”

“Di, Di Ting?!”

Isn’t Di Ting the mount of the King of Hell? How did he end up in the Human Realm, and in the form of a dog?!

The ghosts were so scared their souls were almost transparent.

At this moment, Su Wen and the Little King of Hell entered one after the other. Little Qi Wu flew onto the table as soon as she stepped through the door, her small face puffed up in anger. She placed her milk bottle on the table and slapped the table twice with her tiny hands, “You dare scare humans! You’re so wicked!”

The ghosts didn’t know her identity, but they knew they couldn’t afford to offend someone by the Judge’s side, “Little, Little Lord, we admit our mistake.”

Looking at the Judge behind her, who stood by the milk-drinking child without saying a word, it seemed as if everything was left to this child.

The scene was bizarre no matter how you looked at it.

“Judge,” one of the ghosts ventured, “This is our first time, can you be lenient?”

Su Wen replied, “Everything is up to the King of Hell.”

“The, the King of Hell?”

“That would be me!”

The ghosts turned their heads, staring at the little child sitting on the table, her legs dangling in the air, swinging back and forth, “…”

This is insane! Are you kidding us?!

But seeing the Judge standing beside her, the ghosts didn’t dare say a word.

Well, the ghosts’ worldview was being reshaped.

Little Qi Wu took out the Book of Life and Death that the Judge had given her earlier, “Your names.”

The first ghost instinctively said, “I, I’m Deng Tong, my ID number…”

Little Qi Wu shook her head, “Your birth date and time.”

Deng Tong was stunned, thinking for a long time before he remembered, muttering, “Does the Underworld use birth dates now? I’ve been using my ID for so long I can’t remember.”

After death, the birth date and time automatically appear in the Book of Life and Death. Little Qi Wu didn’t understand what they meant by ID number, but she still found their names.

They were all ghosts who had died only a few years ago. When Black and White Impermanence came for them, they didn’t want to leave the Human Realm, so they ran away. They kept running, and surprisingly, Black and White Impermanence didn’t find them, so they stayed until now.

Su Wen asked, “After death, souls return to the Underworld and reincarnate. That’s the rule. Why didn’t you want to leave the Human Realm?”

“Our family and friends are here. If we leave, we won’t see them again,” Deng Tong said.

Little Qi Wu tilted her head, reasoning with them, “But now, if you get close to your family, you’ll harm them.”

They knew this, but…

Seeing their hesitation, Di Ting growled, “The King of Hell is asking you a question!”

Deng Tong shuddered, “We heard from a ghost who escaped that the Underworld is cold, hungry, and poor, with nothing there. Many ghosts have been waiting in line for years without reincarnating. We thought it would be better to stay in the Human Realm. After all, there are many ghosts like us…”

He spoke less and less, not daring to continue, because the expression on the face of the Judge before him had already turned quite unpleasant.

Little Qi Wu, however, understood. There were still many ghosts in the Human Realm who had not returned to the Underworld.

She rubbed her face and sighed softly, “But the Ghosts and Gods are already very tired. They all want you to reincarnate as quickly as possible.”

After a pause, she continued, “If you act like this, you’ll only make them more exhausted. That’s not right.”

She disapproved of the ghosts’ actions and admonished them, “If every ghost acted like you, both the Human Realm and the Underworld would fall into chaos.”

“I’m only three years old, and I understand this,” Little Qi Wu said, shaking her head gently as she looked at them. “You’re so much older, yet you still don’t get it?”

Huh? They weren’t being sent to the Eighteen Levels of Hell? The Lord Yama was actually reasoning with the ghosts?

The older ghosts felt somewhat ashamed being lectured by a little child. “You’re right, Lord,” they said.

At that moment, the local Black and White Impermanence Envoys, having received the notice, hurried over. Seeing the ghosts on the ground, along with the Judge and Lord Yama standing nearby, their heads began to ache.

They took out their Soul Shackles and bound the ghosts. “Lord Yama, Judge, this is our negligence. We’ll take them away immediately!”

Little Qi Wu jumped down from the table and looked at the disheveled ghosts. She fetched some incense candles and said, “Ben Wang will burn some incense for you. You must behave well when you go down.”

In the Human Realm nowadays, eco-friendly offerings were the norm, and incense candles were hard to come by. Upon hearing this, the ghosts were moved to tears.

Little Qi Wu found their birth dates and burned some incense for each of them. Then she looked up and said earnestly, “Don’t be afraid. Ben Wang will make sure things get better for you.”

Her voice was soft, carrying a certain calming power that seemed to soothe the ghosts.

The ghosts, having received the incense, were almost in tears. Wandering in the Human Realm wasn’t easy. They couldn’t approach their families and had to roam aimlessly every day, stealing incense from other temples. They had no idea when this kind of life would end.

Little Qi Wu asked gently, “Don’t be afraid, okay?”

Looking into the eyes of the Little Yan Wang, the ghosts gradually calmed down. “Okay,” they said.

As the Black and White Impermanence Envoys led the ghosts away, Di Ting remarked, “It seems there are quite a few ghosts lingering in the Human Realm. How could this happen? Haven’t the local Black and White Impermanence Envoys noticed?”

Su Wen, holding a pen, stood at the door and said gravely, “They’ve noticed, but there’s nothing they can do. The Book of Life and Death has been lagging behind for the past thousand years. Birth dates in the Human Realm are no longer treated as special identifiers.”

Little Qi Wu suddenly understood. “They said they use identity cards.”

Su Wen had heard of this too. After all, when they came to the Human Realm, they needed an identity. He took out the identity card that the City God had made using a special method. “This,” he said.

Little Qi Wu climbed onto the table and looked down at the Judge’s “identity card” with great interest. “Wow, is this Judge Dad? It looks exactly like him!”

Di Ting said, “Yes, that’s it. This thing can be used anywhere. It’s unique to each person, irreplaceable, and ensures no one is mistaken.”

Little Qi Wu nodded. “That’s amazing.”

She asked, “Can we issue these to the ghosts in the Underworld? Would this card work?”

Su Wen was taken aback. Issue identity cards?

Little Qi Wu continued, “This way, we won’t mistake any ghosts or miss any.”

As soon as the Little Yan Wang proposed it, Su Wen immediately had an idea.

 Currently, the Underworld is in such chaos. If, like in the Human Realm, every ghost in the Underworld had their own special identification card, issued at the time of death, there wouldn’t be any oversights.

If in the future, it could be as simple as a swipe, just like in the Human Realm, that would be even better.

Su Wen noted this down, planning to arrange a meeting with Meng Po from the Reincarnation Department: “Lord, you are absolutely right. I will discuss this with the other Ghosts and Gods.”

Little Qi Wu looked up: “Will that be useful for the Underworld?”

Su Wen nodded: “Very useful.”

Little Qi Wu sighed in relief: “Then today, Ben Wang should have made the Underworld a little bit better.”

The next day, even before the live broadcast of “Me and My Zai Zai” began, the live stream room was already flooded with many viewers. These viewers included loyal fans from the first season and fans of the celebrity families from this season, making the comment section lively.

【I’m here, I’m here, to see who this season’s Zai Zai is!】

【Watching Zai Zai without any pain is really joyful. I hope this season’s Zai Zai is as well-behaved and obedient as last season’s.】

【I’m here to see my goddess with her Zai Zai. Will the goddess, who is usually detached from worldly affairs, become more down-to-earth when taking care of a child?】

【Why haven’t they come out yet? I’m getting impatient.】

The live stream didn’t start with the families right away but with promotional videos of each family.

The first few families were as expected by the audience, with both celebrities and ordinary people showing great affection.

Until the last one.

In the video, the first thing that appeared was a winding, desolate mountain path, and the staff huffing and puffing as they carried equipment up the mountain. The subtitle read: We are on our way to the fourth guest’s home.

【Just asking, does the guest live in a villa on the mountain?】

【Whose villa requires climbing such a mountain path? Is there a guest from the village this season?】

Then, the scene shifted to the mountaintop, where the solitary Temple of the King of Hell and the large Border Collie were.

The barrage was filled with question marks.

【？？？】

【What’s going on? Aren’t we going to their home? Are there other houses here?】

【Is the guest worshipping the gods or what?】

As the video progressed, a little girl wearing a small red and yellow Dharma robe appeared, sitting on the altar table, smelling the incense candles. The Border Collie wagged its tail and snuggled up to the little girl.

The moment the little girl looked up, the screen froze, and the subtitle displayed: Qi Wu, three years old.

The barrage exploded.

【OMG OMG OMG! Who brought my daughter to the show!】

【Ahhh, is this cosplay? So cute, my baby!】

【Oh my, a sweet little girl in the human world!】

The video continued, and Little Qi Wu looked up with a smile and said, “Good morning!”

“Is your Dad here?”

“Yes, he is.”

A man in red walked out from inside and hugged Little Qi Wu, who had her arms wide open. The screen froze again, and the subtitle read: Su Wen, Qi Wu’s father.

【You brought my husband and daughter to the show without notifying me? Do I, as the mother, not exist?】

【This is an ordinary person? You’re telling me this is an ordinary person?!】

【A divine father and daughter, divine looks. I’m going to live in their live stream room from now on!】

【Hello, I gave birth to her, give her back to me, thank you.】

【I see the Cinnabar Mark on Zai Zai’s forehead is unusually red. How about this, Dad, bring her to my house, and I’ll take a look at both of you separately. Others, please don’t come.】

【Your schemes are so loud, I can hear them through the internet.】

【Don’t talk nonsense, what if they have a mother?】

【Aren’t they the father and daughter duo who were trending on Weibo before? They actually joined the show. Was it all just a publicity stunt?】

【Don’t assume everything is a publicity stunt. Such an adorable cosplay deserves to trend.】

Next, the guest interviews were shown. Naturally, the father and daughter who made such a grand entrance garnered a lot of attention.

Then, everyone saw their introductions.

“Qi Wu, the current Temple Keeper of the Temple of the King of Hell.”

“Su Wen, Qi Wu’s father.”

Their introductions were simpler and more straightforward than any other guests’, but it also left people puzzled.

The barrage of comments quieted down for a while before someone finally reacted.

【Temple… Temple Keeper?】

【There’s too much to unpack here. I don’t even know which part to be more surprised about.】

【So, they’re not cosplaying? They’re wearing uniforms?】

【A three-year-old as a Temple Keeper? Do you really believe that?!】

In the video, when asked about their reason for joining the show, Little Qi Wu, holding her milk bottle, said, “Everyone should become better.”

Su Wen, with a cold expression, replied, “For the money.”

【That’s pretty down-to-earth, but they don’t seem like they’re short on money.】

【But their living place… even mice would feel bad digging holes there.】

【Damn, this pair has successfully piqued my curiosity. Hurry up and start the live stream! I’m heading to their channel!】

Just then, the promotional video ended.

The live stream officially began.

Each group of guests had their own live stream channel, and there was also a main channel that would randomly select one group to broadcast.

Right from the start, many viewers flocked to Little Qi Wu’s channel.

As the screen turned on, it was pitch black.

【??? What’s going on? Did they forget to turn on the camera?】

Suddenly, a childish voice rang out, “Dad, is this how I wear it?”

A few seconds later, a deep and pleasant male voice responded, “Yes, you’re doing great.”

The child’s voice continued, “Dad, you’re wearing new clothes too, and your hair is shorter! It looks good.”

“You look good too,” the man paused, “Can I turn on the camera now?”

“Okay.”

For some reason, the viewers felt a bit nervous. A faint sound was heard as the camera in the room turned on.

A strikingly handsome face appeared on the screen, with sharp features and deep, dark eyes partially obscured by his black hair. He exuded a cold, restrained beauty.

【…Sisters, I can’t hold back anymore.】

【Sorry, Mom, but I could totally be a stepmom!】

【What a stunning opening shot.】

Then, the handsome face moved aside, revealing a little girl sitting on the bed, struggling to put on her shoes.

Su Wen walked over, bent down, and helped her with her shoes. The little girl looked up at the camera. Unlike in the promotional video where she was wearing a small Dharma robe, she now had on a pink princess dress, her soft black hair cascading down, her skin fair and tender.

The only thing that remained unchanged was the Cinnabar Mark on her forehead.

Little Qi Wu remembered what Di Ting had told her—that people could see her through this mark. “Can people see me from here?” she asked.

Su Wen replied, “Yes.”

Little Qi Wu’s eyes curved into a smile as she sat up straight. “Hello, I’m Qi Wu.”

“This is my dad. His name is Su Wen.”

She then stared intently at the camera, waiting for a response. After a long while, when no one replied, she looked puzzled and a bit disappointed. “Dad, why isn’t anyone talking? Do people not want to talk to Qi Wu?”

Su Wen helped her put on her shoes and carried her off the bed: “No one will ignore Qi Wu. It’s just that they can’t speak and can only see you.”

Little Qi Wu breathed a sigh of relief but still asked with concern, “Will people like Qi Wu?”

Su Wen handed her the milk bottle: “If Qi Wu likes everyone, everyone will like you too.”

Qi Wu was a bit hungry and took a few sips from the bottle: “Mhm! Qi Wu likes people.”

[I’ll pay attention to you, Little Qi Wu! I like you too!]

[At this moment, a crazed person is trying to break through the screen to get in!]

[So adorable, those eyes really seem like they can speak. The more I look, the more I like them!]

[Zai Zai’s voice is so pleasant to listen to. It’s strange, but it’s addictive and very relaxing.]

Watching her dad pack her little backpack, Little Qi Wu curiously asked, “Where are we going?”

Su Wen: “To kindergarten.”

“What’s that?”

Su Wen thought for a moment: “It’s a place with many little friends. Qi Wu can learn things at kindergarten.”

Learning! That means she can grow up!

Little Qi Wu immediately perked up: “Qi Wu wants to go!”

Su Wen nodded: “Alright.”

But now they needed to check if the money from the program had been deposited, otherwise they wouldn’t have the funds for kindergarten.

In her excitement, Little Qi Wu drank the milk quickly, but after just a few sips, the bottle was empty.

The excited expression on Little Qi Wu’s face froze. She bit the nipple of the bottle and looked at Su Wen with pleading eyes: “Dad…”

Su Wen: “Hmm?”

Little Qi Wu could endure not drinking milk, but she remembered that if she didn’t drink enough, the ghosts in The Underworld would suffer.

After hesitating for a moment, she shook the bottle: “Milk… it’s gone…”

Su Wen: “…”

Meng Po’s milk bottle could store milk, but he hadn’t expected it to run out so quickly. He hadn’t had time to buy more yet.

Little Qi Wu thought that milk was only available in The Underworld. Now that it was gone, she was a bit worried and asked softly, “Can Qi Wu still have milk?”

The audience’s mood was quite complex at this moment.

[Even a mouse would starve to death in this place.]

[Why would gods live in such a place!]

[The Temple of the King of Hell, the Temple Keeper, really living in the temple. But it seems like there’s no incense offering. They’re going to starve.]

[They must be really poor. That milk bottle looks homemade.]

[Ahhhh! How can my Qi Wu not have milk to drink! Let her drink!]

[Where is this Temple of the King of Hell? Is it in our city? Can I go to offer incense? No other reason, just want Little Qi Wu to have milk to drink!]

Meanwhile, in The Underworld, a cold wind began to blow, and the ghosts once again scrambled for the bridge caves.

Meng Po and the City God’s expressions changed slightly, as they roughly understood what had happened.

Little Yan Wang’s milk bottle was empty.

But then, the long-dilapidated Hall of the King of Hell seemed to be touched by faint specks of light, and the plaque at the front of the hall began to slowly shed its layer of dust.

The cold wind was also slightly blocked by these faint lights.

Though weak, they were still visible.

Jin Wen looked at the lights in disbelief: “Karma… it’s Karma…”