CHAPTER 26 (PART 1)

Shi Li felt like her scalp was about to explode. She lifted her head in terror and, upon seeing Shen Jingyan’s face, hurriedly ducked under the desk.

“Come out.” Shen Jingyan’s expression was unreadable.

Shi Li instinctively shuffled further inside, like a frightened little rabbit.

Shen Jingyan fell silent for a moment before pulling out the chair blocking the desk and kneeling down on one knee. Instantly, their eyes met at the same level.

Shi Li’s palms were slick with sweat, her mind racing for a way to turn the situation around. Seeing him staring at her so intently, she mustered the courage to say, “You’re the one who shuts yourself in the study every day. Of course, I’d be curious about what you’re doing!”

Shen Jingyan’s gaze remained locked onto her. When he wasn’t intentionally expressing emotions, his face appeared not just cold—but hollow. Completely void. Looking at him felt like staring into an empty abyss, as if he were nothing more than a machine.

Shi Li held his gaze and stubbornly continued her lie. “You always say there’s some big secret in here. Of course, I’d be curious! The more you don’t let me see, the more I want to see. That’s why—”

“Lying.”

With just that one word, Shen Jingyan shut down everything else she was about to say.

Shi Li swallowed and weakly protested, “I’m not lying…”

“You’ve been investigating me, haven’t you?” Shen Jingyan countered.

Shi Li immediately fell silent.

His dark eyes bore into her. “Digging into my past, reaching out to everyone I’ve ever known, trying to piece together every little thing about me. Why? Have I mistreated you?”

“I don’t think that…” Shi Li murmured.

Shen Jingyan’s voice remained indifferent. “Then why investigate me?”

Shi Li pressed her lips together, unsure how to respond.

“I’ve worked so hard to act like a normal person. Why do you insist on tearing away all my disguises? Do you think that just because I lack emotions and feelings, you can do whatever you want to me?” His words were harsh and unforgiving. “Before you decided to treat me this way, did you forget? Do you know why I became like this?”

It was because of her.

If it hadn’t been to protect her, he never would have hurt someone. He never would have been locked up. He never would have gotten into conflicts with those inside. He never would have been forced to take out high-interest loans. And in the end, he never would have been pushed into becoming a test subject—losing all ability to feel empathy.

A sudden wave of guilt crashed over Shi Li, consuming her heart until even her initial fear felt insignificant. Trembling, she reached out her right hand and grasped his. “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

“You think that just because the experiment failed, I’ve lost all emotional responses?” Shen Jingyan’s voice was eerily calm. He noticed the surprise in her eyes and explained matter-of-factly, “I can still feel hatred toward you. It may not be strong, but hate is hate. I know that before I lost my emotions, I must have hated you very much. Even now, I want to.”

Shi Li opened her mouth, but no words came out.

Now, she finally understood why his Male Lead Hatred Value: 20% had been so low.

But she couldn’t feel even a shred of relief.

“It’s just a shame,” Shen Jingyan continued, pausing briefly before lowering his gaze. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to hate you more than this.”

He let out a quiet exhale, voice unwavering. “Not only that—I find myself feeling happy when I’m with you. It’s not much happiness, but for someone like me, whose brain has no emotions left, it’s already more than enough.”

Shi Li stared at him in a daze, almost drowning in the depths of his dark pupils.

Shen Jingyan studied her for a long time before gently placing her hand against his chest.

Beneath her palm, she could feel his strong, steady heartbeat.

“This place,” he said, his tone utterly devoid of emotion, “reacts because of you. I think… it’s not just because of hatred.”

If it weren’t for the way his words sounded so much like a factual statement, they might have resembled a confession.

Shi Li focused on the rhythmic beating beneath her fingers. Slowly, she became aware of her own heart pounding harder in response. His body heat spread through her palm, making her skin burn.

And then, without warning, Shen Jingyan leaned in under the desk—and kissed her lips.

Shi Li froze.

She had no idea what was happening.

“Did you feel it?” Shen Jingyan asked, his tone as indifferent as ever. “My heartbeat just sped up.”

Ever since Shi Li uncovered the truth about his failed experiment, he no longer seemed willing to pretend to have emotions.

Shi Li silently focused on his heartbeat and realized—it really had sped up slightly.

“This is enough. Right now, my emotional responses are like air—only you can turn that air into wind. That’s why I keep searching for you, why I want to keep you by my side,” Shen Jingyan confessed outright. “That’s also why I went to such lengths to make you sign the volunteer contract and found excuses to bring you home.”

With that, all her lingering doubts were answered. Shi Li stared at him for a long moment before suddenly asking, “The volunteer contract you had me sign… was it really just for health treatment?”

“What else would it be?” Shen Jingyan countered.

Shi Li narrowed her eyes warily. “How should I know? It just feels like there’s some hidden scheme waiting for me… And you’ve been plotting against me from the start. Even if I don’t trust you, wouldn’t that be understandable?”

“Haven’t you also been plotting against me?” Shen Jingyan asked.

Shi Li paused. “When did I ever do that?”

“The gambling debt your parents owed—those debts only appeared after I had already been sent to the labor camp. But you lied to me, saying they existed before I was sent away.” Shen Jingyan’s expression remained impassive. “All just to prove that you never betrayed me back then.”

“…How do you know everything?” Shi Li asked, speechless. She had no choice but to admit it—there was no point in denying it when he even knew the exact amount and the creditors’ names. He must have already investigated everything thoroughly.

Shen Jingyan gazed at her. “It’s not difficult. If you spend ten years digging into someone, you can uncover everything about them. Unfortunately, you hid yourself too well before—I was never able to find you.”

“If I had known, I would’ve hidden even better,” Shi Li muttered under her breath.

Shen Jingyan was silent for a moment before stating expressionlessly, “Oh, so this is what feeling displeased is like.”

Shi Li: “?”

“The thought of you wanting to hide from me makes me unhappy,” Shen Jingyan added, as if it were just another observation.

Shi Li: “…”

“It’s late. Go get some sleep. From now on, if you have questions, just ask me directly,” Shen Jingyan said as he grabbed her and pulled her out from under the desk. “And if you want to enter the study—ask for my permission first.”

“…Got it,” Shi Li mumbled awkwardly.

After talking a bit more, the two walked out of the study together. Shi Li hadn’t expected that what she thought would be the ultimate disaster had passed so easily.

Once they stepped outside, Shi Li grabbed Shen Jingyan’s hand. When he turned to look at her, she hesitated before saying cautiously, “When it’s just the two of us, you don’t have to fake your emotions anymore.” She wanted him to be more at ease.

Shen Jingyan replied indifferently, “I only ever faked them in front of you.”

“Won’t people notice?” Shi Li was curious.

Shen Jingyan’s tone remained calm. “They just think I’m emotionally distant. No one would suspect I’m not normal.”

Shi Li: “…” That was true. If she hadn’t personally seen his medical diagnosis, she wouldn’t have believed it either.

“Any more questions?” Shen Jingyan asked.

Male Lead Hatred Value: 20%

Shi Li let out a sigh. “Can your emotions… still be restored?”

“In theory, yes. I’ve already taken over the failed experiment and assigned another team to research it. They’ve been working on it for years,” Shen Jingyan answered.

Shi Li breathed a sigh of relief. “As long as it can be fixed.” It seemed that unless his emotions were restored, his hatred value wouldn’t change.

“If my emotions are restored, I might end up hating you intensely. I could even do something to hurt you.” Shen Jingyan, seeing how relaxed she was, calmly reminded her.

Shi Li smiled. “You won’t.”

“Why?”

“Because you just said that being with me makes you happy.” Shi Li’s eyes curved into a smile as she looked at him. “Even with your emotional system damaged, you can still feel happiness when you’re with me. That means you still like me. And before—when you really liked me—you never did anything to hurt me.”

Shen Jingyan was silent for a long time. “Oh.”

“…That’s all you have to say?” Shi Li was speechless.

Shen Jingyan asked in return, “What else should I say?”

Shi Li’s lips twitched. She grabbed his collar, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him.

Shen Jingyan stilled for a moment before wrapping an arm around her waist and, following instinct, deepening the kiss.

By the time it ended, Shi Li’s legs had gone weak, and she had to lean against the wall to steady herself. Shen Jingyan’s breathing was slightly uneven, yet his eyes remained eerily calm, as if the kiss had barely stirred him.

…But he didn’t have emotions. What was there to stir?

Shi Li laughed at herself for overthinking, but at the same time, she felt a pang of sorrow. One of the greatest aspects of being human was experiencing emotions. For Shen Jingyan, losing his ability to feel meant a life without pain—but also without joy. It might seem like an indifferent existence, but in reality, it was a life stripped of its very essence.

At least he still had some emotional response toward her. That meant things hadn’t reached the worst possible outcome.

Shi Li could only comfort herself with that thought. After steadying her breath, she tilted her head and asked, “Well? Are you happy?”

Shen Jingyan fell silent, as if seriously considering it. After a while, he nodded. “I suppose this is happiness.”

Based on his hatred value, Shen Jingyan could only perceive one-fifth of his original emotions. If he could still recognize happiness now, then in a normal state, he must have been overwhelmingly happy.

Shi Li let out a soft laugh and hugged him. “Then I’ll kiss you more often from now on.”

“I’d be happy if you did,” Shen Jingyan replied slowly.

Shi Li buried her face against his chest, muffling a soft response. They held each other quietly for a while before she asked, “Can you tell me more about your time in the labor camp?”

She hesitated before adding, “Would bringing it up make you feel bad?”

“Aside from the slight emotional fluctuations I have toward you, I feel nothing toward anything else—including my own past,” Shen Jingyan answered. “So, no.”

Hearing that, Shi Li felt an even deeper ache in her heart. Silently, she tightened her arms around him, holding him closer.

Shen Jingyan let her hug him without resistance. But as drowsiness crept in, he finally spoke in a detached tone. “You can let go now. I’m going to sleep.”

Shi Li: “……That direct?”

As if hearing her thoughts, Shen Jingyan patiently replied, “Although your hug makes me feel a slight emotion, it’s not as important as sleep.”

“…Oh, then go to sleep.” Shi Li silently let go of him.

Shen Jingyan glanced at her, then turned and walked toward the bedroom. Shi Li watched him quietly, and just as he was about to reach the door, she suddenly asked, “Someone said you’re not a researcher at the biotech company. Do you want to explain that?”

“Explain what?” Shen Jingyan turned back to look at her. “I was never a researcher there.”

Shi Li’s heart tightened.

“Because I’m the owner.” Shen Jingyan stated expressionlessly, then pushed open the door and went inside.

Shi Li: “……”

With the sound of the door closing, the world fell silent. She stood at the study room entrance for a long time with a complicated expression before finally turning back to her own room.

By now, the sun had already risen, but that didn’t stop her from catching up on sleep after staying up all night. With the curtains drawn and the sleep mask on, she instantly drifted off.

This time, she dreamt again of her high school days with Shen Jingyan. Back then, a boy had confessed to her, and before she even had the chance to reject him, Shen Jingyan had dragged her into a corner like he was catching her in the act, gritting his teeth as he warned, “You’d better behave yourself, or I’ll make you listen to me in my own way.”

“What way?” Shi Li never felt unsafe around him, so she wasn’t scared by his words. Instead, she smiled at him, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Shen Jingyan was helpless under her gaze. In the end, he covered her eyes with his hand. “I don’t know, but whatever it is, it’ll make you listen.”

“Oh, please. What could you possibly come up with?” Shi Li had no expectations for his so-called schemes.

Shen Jingyan scoffed, “Why rush? We have plenty of time ahead of us. Sooner or later, I’ll figure it out. By then, you won’t be able to escape even if you want to.”

Shi Li’s lips curled up slightly.

Moments later, she opened her eyes and felt a thin layer of fabric over them. Instinctively, she reached up and pulled it off.

It was her sleep mask.

Shi Li squinted, confirming that it had just been a dream. In reality, she had left Shen Jingyan for ten years and now returned. Shen Jingyan had also lost the ability to feel normal emotions due to a failed experiment.

She sighed softly and began replaying everything from last night in her mind. Half an hour later, she finally moved, checking the time on her phone—it was already past 3 p.m.

Shi Li got up and went to freshen up, but just as she reached the bathroom, her phone rang. She rushed back to answer it, surprised to see that it was a woman she knew from the biotech company. She quickly rinsed the toothpaste from her mouth and picked up the call. “Hello?”

“Hey, I looked into it for you. There really isn’t a researcher with the last name Shen. But their boss’s last name is Shen… Are you sure your blind date didn’t lie to you?” the woman asked hesitantly.

Shi Li paused for a moment, then chuckled helplessly. “Maybe. Thanks for checking.”

“It’s nothing. I just can’t stand those kinds of guys. Now that you know the truth, don’t contact him again, okay?” the woman reminded her.

Shi Li nodded. “Got it.”

They chatted casually for a while until someone on the other end called for the woman, prompting her to hang up.

Once the call ended, silence filled Shi Li’s bedroom again. She sat there quietly for a moment before getting up to wash her face.

Now, everything Shen Jingyan had said lined up—he clearly hadn’t lied. But she still didn’t understand why he had pretended to be a researcher when meeting her.